Chapter 10: How did I forget to eat and drink?

I wake up to an unfamiliar… floor. I sleep on my stomach, you got a problem with that? Getting up, I stretch my stiff limbs. It hadn’t been a particularly comfortable sleep.

As I stand, my pants fall. Clarity quickly returning to me, I check my coin pouch, which still has coins in it. Great! Pulling my pants up and fastening my belt around my waist, I stretch more vigorously. One arm is half numb, and my shoulders…

Crack!

Ah, that’s better. Stepping past the line of ants parading across the floor, I pick up my stockings and sit on the chair.

A prolonged creak makes my ears twitch.

I stretch them too. Moving your ears always feels slightly strange.

Waving the socks around wildly to detach any dust or bugs that had nested there over the course of the night, I start putting them on. It isn’t easy. I miss having elastic material in socks. After I put on my boots and sword, I’m ready to start the day.

Removing the plank, I open the window. Light streams into the room, dispersing the lingering darkness. The sun is just coming up, a sleeping habit acquired courtesy of all the early mornings I’ve had in the last month or so.

I have a lot to do today. I have to get some general supplies, do some fitness training, earn some cash, get some food…

Swallowing, I notice my mouth and throat are completely dry. Had I really forgotten to drink liquids all of yesterday? What on earth was I thinking?

I pause. Can I still use that saying? Doesn’t matter.

So how do people in this day and age get water? Let’s see, freshwater lakes and streams, wells…

I count them off in my head.

…Is that all? Well, let’s find a well. A city of this size should have a good few.

I lock the door behind me as I go out. I’d only paid for the one night, so I hand the key back to the innkeeper as I leave. I’ll need to get a water skin before I can drink some water, and I can buy some other things at the same time.

There aren’t many people on the streets this early in the morning, so the journey is quick. Walking into the local general store, I begin perusing their wares.

They have quite the variety here. Everything from cutlery to needle and thread to backpacks. Again, everything is on shelves behind the counter. Without modern security cameras, shopkeepers here won’t be so bold as to leave merchandise where they can’t see it.

“I need a knapsack, two water skins, a whetstone, a fork, a spoon, a coil of rope, a container of soap and a stretch of canvas.”

I dictate the list of products I want to the shop keep. He begins to pull items off the shelves, reciting their prices as he goes.

“Fifteen coppers for the knapsack, three each for the water skins, two for the whetstone, five for the soap itself and another three for the container. The canvas will depend on size.”

There is a small assortment of goods neatly placed on the counter after he finished. As I start to speak again, he uses an abacus to calculate the total price.

“Big enough to pitch a one-man tent. Maybe two metres each way?”

Nodding, he takes down a folded square of fabric.

“That’s ten coppers, and that adds to…”

He pauses a short moment as he moves a couple counters on the abacus.

“Forty-one coppers. Will that be all?”

I nod and count out the coins from my rapidly thinning pouch.

“Pleasure doing business with you.”

I pack all the goods into the knapsack and sling it over my back. It’s an uncomfortable thing, with its non-adjustable straps and uneven weight distribution, but it’s the best I can get for now.

Almost bought a tinderbox there, then I remembered that I can use fire magic. I’m an idiot sometimes… But that saves me some money, and a lot of fire-making effort in the future. I wasn’t looking forward to figuring out how to use a flint and steel.

Before I leave the city, I suppose there’s one more place I need to go… The adventurer’s guild. I suppose it was obvious that I would go there pretty soon, though.

Registering at the adventurer’s guild makes it easier to sell the carcasses of monsters you killed, as well as being a convenient hub of monster-related information and to find suitable people to team up with.

While I don’t expect to create or join an adventuring group anytime soon, the information and way to sell materials will be very useful to me.

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Later that same year… about five minutes later, to be exact…

A man, of average build and looks, wearing such an average set of clothing that it is almost abnormal, stands in front of the adventurer’s guild front door. The only sign that he is anything more than the average city dweller is the scabbard at his side and the knapsack on his back, which don’t count for much in a place such as this.

He opens the door and steps inside. A few of the numerous men sitting around bar tables off to one side in the building briefly look over, before returning to their drinks, disinterested in the new visitor.

Gazing around at the well-lit surroundings for a moment, he walks along the outer region of the bar towards the clean reception desk. As he is about to pass by, one of the patrons on the outer tables sticks out his leg, in a clear attempt to trip him.

In a surprising display, the man stops just short of the outstretched limb, and looks across at the grinning man. The grin on his face fades a bit, before coming back full force. His lips are still spread wide as he speaks, loudly.

“What’s up gramps? Why’d you stop?”

He simply shrugs, smiles at him and steps around his still extended leg, walking away. The man loses his smile. Pushing back his stool and standing up, he calls out to the other man.

“Why’re you walking away? I was talking to you, y’know!”

He stops. Turning around, he speaks calmly to the spluttering man.

“And why are you talking to me?”

That seems to stump him, his eyebrows furrowing for a second as he thinks. Eyebrows returning to their normal positions, his smile broadens as he retorts.

“Well, that’s obviously because I’m worried about you, old man! Stopping in the middle of the room all of a sudden, you looked like you might be sick.”

The man, smaller in stature and attire than the leather armour clad adventurer, visibly raises an eyebrow as he replies.

“You needn’t worry, as I am perfectly healthy.”

The adventurer seemed to have readied his reply in advance, as he barely pauses a moment before saying,

“You’re looking a little pale old man, you really should see a healer.”

Still standing in the middle of the room, mostly expressionless, he nods to himself as he says a line to the man, then again moves towards the reception. That line was simply,

“I see. Apologies, but I am not interested in men.”

The adventurer’s face pales as some of the other drinkers erupted with guffaws. Enraged, he leaped forwards, swinging his fist towards the man’s back.

Perhaps reacting to the sound of pounding footfalls, the man turns around and attempts to duck under the approaching blow. Without enough time to react, however, he is unable to fully avoid the hit, resulting in a glancing blow to one shoulder. Balance completely broken by the simultaneous turn, duck and impact, he falls to one side.

Rolling awkwardly away to avoid a kick, his arms reach out and snag the leg, pulling it towards him. The angry man loses balance due to the overextended limb, falling to the ground. Using the opportunity to get up, he moves away from the large, grasping palms of the angry red-faced man.

A shout from one of the staff interrupts the combat.

“No brawls in the guild hall!”

Breathing heavily, he gets off the ground and walks out of the building. The man, similarly breathing heavily from the combat, takes a moment to calm himself, then again moves to the counter, this time reaching it without incident.

The staff member there apologises for his unpleasant first experience at the adventurer’s guild, and reassures him that that those at the bar usually restrict themselves to sparring with words.

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“So, did I pass?”

Obviously, it’s me.

But man, does my back ache after that! No, arthritis is NOT setting in. When I did that rolling, my knapsack was still on my back! It was NOT designed for rolling, and I could feel every little thing I had packed in there. I hope they aren’t broken…

The narrative has been taken without authorization; if you see it on Amazon, report the incident.

The guy looks at me in confusion. I’m not surprised, my question had no context. I love doing that. The faces you get out of people can be priceless sometimes, if you say the right thing. Of course, I wasn’t asking just for fun.

He responds a mere moment later.

“Pass? Pass what?”

“You expect me to believe that it’s a coincidence that someone provokes a fight with me the minute I came in?” I say in response.

He gives a smile at that.

“Sir, that is a bar. Drunkards do have a tendency to start fights.”

I smile back at him, but it doesn’t reflect in my gaze. I stare him straight in the eyes.

“He left immediately and there was no drink on the table. And the staff only called out when things were about to get serious between us, even though it would’ve been simple to call out earlier.”

His smile doesn’t waver, but I think I see the corner of his mouth twitch. That, or a fly flew past.

“Between me and you, it’s boring for us staff without the fights, so we let them go on for a bit. Obviously, we still stop it before it gets serious, or we would get in trouble as well.”

That draws a chuckle out of me. Customer service jobs have their ups and downs in both worlds, huh?

“I can believe that. What I can’t believe, is that you’d ignore the rule saying that the consequence for starting a brawl is a temporary ban from the premises. And for an iron plate adventurer, at that. The only thing I could think of that explained it all was that you had hired him to do it, to test prospective adventurers.”

His smile grows wider, and yet somehow, more genuine. He lets out a short laugh.

“I could go on and try to convince you, but I won’t waste any more of your time. Yes, we did hire him to do that. And answering your earlier question, yes, you passed. So. Would you like to join the adventurers’ guild?”

Nah, I think I’ll turn around and leave now. Was just here to take a squiz at the place.

“Yes, thanks.”

He nods and takes out a complicated legal docume- Seriously? Medieval, people. Do you have any idea how low the literacy rates were back then? Like, so low that it was pretty much only nobles that could read and write. And some other people, scribes and the like, but not many.

He calls out to one of the other men manning the counter.

“Hey Sean, we got a new register, so could you take over from here?”

Another man, presumably the aforementioned Sean, nods at him and switches places with the man in front of me.

“Wait there, would you? I’ll just be a moment.”

Despite just having got here, he’s gone again into the door behind the counter. He comes back with a large leather-bound book. Unlike the leather my grimoire had, this was normal looking leather. Placing it on the counter in front of me with a hefty thud, he ducks under the counter.

He comes back up holding a quill and small metal container in one hand and a knife in the other. And this knife, by the way, we aren’t talking the dagger sort of knife, the bread sort of knife or the butcher sort of knife. It was a tiny blade with a sharp edge. Placing the implements on the counter and arranging them, he now turns to me.

“Okay, that’ll be five coppers, please.”

That’s almost all the coppers I have left, but I hand them over. He counts them, nods, unscrews the lid of the container, dips the quill into the ink, stirring it around a bit before wiping off excess ink onto the edge of the jar.

“Name and specialties, please.”

I had thought one up on the way here, since I already knew that you needed to present one to sign up.

“I’m Aaron. I can use a sword well enough, and I can do some basic fire and earth magic.”

His head jerked up from the book, spilling a drop of onto the page due to the sudden motion.

“Seriously? Your family had that kind of money?”

I laugh at that, and smile wryly.

“I wish. A magus adventurer came through my village when I was young, and I insisted in my ignorance that he teach me magic. He was very surprised when he discovered I actually had the aptitude, and taught me a little bit before he left.”

He lets out a low whistle.

“Lucky guy. I don’t suppose you have a grimoire? Free magic then. A demonstration, if you would? For magic I have to confirm you aren’t just lying. Something small, please.”

“Sure”, I say.

I summon up two tiny balls of mana on top of my upturned palm. One turns into a tiny little candlelight and the other turns into a tiny little piece of dirt. After a second I let them dissipate into the atmosphere, or wherever it goes, the light winking out.

“Well I’ll be, you actually do have magic.”

He gives me an apologetic look.

“Sorry, but nine times out of ten it’s just somebody looking to boost their reputation. Now… Aaron, was it? How do you spell that?”

Ooh, a subtle probe.

“How should I know?”

He nods in resignation as he scrapes the stray drop of ink off the page with the little knife. He scratches away at the page with his quill, going back and forth between inkwell and page a few times. I read it upside-down, which as an avid reader, I can do without much difficulty. That is, if the other person isn’t writing in a half mix of cursive and normal writing. Puzzling it out, it looks like he’s written the spelling I wanted. Not that it matters.

That done, he rummages around under the desk again, pulling out a coin, which he hands to me. It’s made of copper, but unlike normal coins it has a hole in the center, and the design on one side is different. One side still has the symbol (and magic circle) representing the country it was issued in, but the other has the crest of the adventurer’s guild: a crossed sword and staff with a mountain in the background.

Sean explains the thing, “That’s the symbol representing that you’re a copper rank adventurer, so don’t lose it. If you do, you’ll have to pay for a new one. Do you need to know the rules?”

I already know all the rules, courtesy of general knowledge classes. They’re pretty much common sense: No conflict in the guild building, don’t interfere with other’s fights unless you think they’re in trouble, parties must be registered beforehand at the guild if you want to share the points reward, etc.

Thus, I reply with “No, but where should I go if I want to sell monster materials?”

He jerks his head in the opposite direction of the bar.

“Around that side of the building, there’s a separate entrance for it. Now, if that’s all?”

I nod and start to walk out.

“Thanks for the help.”

So, that’s that done. I can go hunting now. There’s some more things I’d like to get, such as another set of clothes, a bedroll, a pot, maybe some wooden pegs for hanging clothes up to dry, but I don’t have the cash right now. Or rather, I do, but I don’t want to use up my only cash. It’s still early morning. Aaaaand I’ve forgotten to have a drink again.

This is really not something you should forget. But somehow, I manage it quite well! To the well!

There’s always some traffic around wells, but well, it’s early morning so not as many are up and out. It is only a couple minute wait before it was my turn to use the thing. Winding the handle, I draw the bucket of water slowly up the shaft of the well. I’m in a bit of a hurry, so I go a bit fast, and I hear the sound of water splashing echoing up. But it gets to the top, and it’s full enough. I immerse my water skins in the water, one after the other, drink one dry, then fill it up again. My thirst now quenched, I drop the bucket down the well, listening to the windlass rapidly unwinding as it spun around, before there is an echoing splash.

A hand pump would probably be more efficient, but I have no clue how to make one. I know it has a handle which goes up and down, but how the heck does the water get up?

Now I need to go. Like, to the toilet. Where to find one? I can just go outside the city and go somewhere in a forest, but I can’t just go outside the city every time I need to go. Is there a public toilet?

“Is there a public toilet somewhere?”

Tapping a random guy passing by, I ask him. He looks at me weirdly, but informs me there is one a few streets over. Of course, they don’t name their streets. Nobody has thought of that yet. A bit of walking later, I’m busting and still haven’t found the dratted place. A bit more walking, and I’m at the end of a short line to use the place, desperately holding it in. A minute later and I’m sighing in relief as I relieve myself.

Hey, it’s not a pit toilet! No wonder there wasn’t a vomit-inducing stench hanging around. I suppose that cave was just too far away from merchant channels to install one of these magic ones? Presuming they are magic. But, they probably are.

Now, hunting! I’ll cook some boar meat for breakfast, if I can get some, and then we’ll be toasty. The meat will be, at least. Mmm… pork. I exit the city walls, and stop for a moment to get a long piece of string out of my knapsack to thread through the hole in the copper token. Tying a knot, it’s secured around my neck. Now…

I’m coming for you, delicious pork!

I jog off towards the nearby forest to find me some munchies. THERE! A boar! Come to me, delicious morsels! Sprinting towards it with sword raised, I cut down at it with a maniacal grin. Raising a high-pitched squeal, it takes one look at me and turns around.

Ah! Don’t run away! NOOoooo…

These aren’t tears, that boar kicked dust into my eyes, dust I tell you…

Sniffle…

Why did he run away…

Am I that scary?

Next time, I’ll kill it in one strike!

Softly, softly stepping through the forest in search of some grub, I attempt to find some wildlife to massa – Ahem, dispatch in order to sustain my lifeforce.

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I stare at the palm of my hand, which is at eye level. Settled on top of my palm are a few small berries. I poke at them with one finger, and they roll around on my palm. Should I? I shouldn’t, right? They’re almost definitely poisonous… But… they look so tasty! And all I’ve eaten in the past… one, two, wait, what?

My stomach lets out a howl of protest as it finally notices that it has only been fed anything significant once in the past seventy-two hours. A crippling pain hits me, and I fall to my knees. The berries which may or may not be but probably are poisonous suddenly look mightily appetising. Against my will, my tongue-

I hear a low-pitched grunt, sounding eerily similar to the sounds emanating from my stomach, a bit to the left of me.

My head whips around and I leap at the unsuspecting boar, slashing at its unprotected neck.

MEAT!

Quickly wiping my bloody sword on a clump of dirt, I sheath the blade and unsheathe my knife, cutting off the leathery skin and getting to the fat, juicy interior.

Slow down, have to clear a space for the fire first…

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A nice warm fire crackles and pops in front of me as I slowly turn the sturdy stick between my hands, resisting the pain in my stomach as I wait for the meat hanging over the fire to cook.

There is a quiet sizzle coming from the meat as the fats and oils in the meat heat up. The smell wafting off of it is so amazingly tantalising that it’s almost all I can do to stop myself from tearing into it. Unceasingly staring, forever asking the eternal question, ‘is it ready yet?’, my senses stagnant, save for the meat, upon which all my attention was fixated.

I, I… I have to speed this up somehow… Fire magic!

Pulling a bit of mana out of my mana heart, I stretch it into a hemisphere around the bottom of the meat and turn the thing into fire. I desperately believe and imagine that the stick won’t burn. It can’t! Not now, not now that I’ve come this far!

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I have reached a state of zen, coming to terms with my hunger, and realising that it is my flesh that wants, not me. Thus separating myself from the needs of the flesh, I gaze around calmly at the wondrous nature around me.

I listen to the birds chirping in the trees, listen to the winds rustling the leaves, and slowly breathe in the fresh scents of wildlife.

Exhaling slowly, I quietly stand and draw my sword, letting it hang at one side. My gaze piercing through the forest, I explode into activity.

My first strike leaves my sword embedded in the ground. Placing my foot on the corpse, I swiftly withdraw it, turning and slashing through the neck of another in the same motion.

I take a running leap over the fire, my booted foot contacting a skull in mid-air and stomping it to the ground, breaking it. With a motion of my hand, a spear of mana forms, turning an earthen brown.

Unsatisfied with its non-lethality, I compress its form to a tenth of its size with an exertion of imagination, and send the twig sized projectile speeding towards another, piercing through its eye into its brain; killing it instantly.

The others haven’t waited for me to keep up, and are almost upon me, sprinting at full tilt with wide mouths. I give one the boot, sending it yelping to one side. Out of options due to my awkward posture, I fall forwards onto it. My legs flying backwards evade its flailing claws, and my full weight crushes down upon the back of the beast a moment later, snapping the spine.

I get up, rubbing my shoulder; it was the prime point of impact. Around the small clearing lay the fallen corpses of half a dozen boars and wolves. I thrust my sword at a whimpering form. Well, now it’s a half-dozen.

Kicking a corpse away from the fire, I sit back down and take up the stick that I had stuck into the ground. The bowl of fire had dissipated at the start of combat, my attention on more pressing matters. How dare they try and steal my breakfast.

The surface of the meat is a light black. No worries, that just means it’s cooked the whole way through. I bite into it.

Tearing off a chunk, I give it a quick chew and swallow it down. A minute later, I have devoured the entire thing. It was a good chunk of meat, quite big. That’s why I needed a big stick to spear it on. And I’m now full, for the first time in a few days. Geeze, am I reckless or what?

Appetite and thirst now sated, I begin to skin the wolves.

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Folding the skins into a sack (I had quite a few of those), I deposit it into my knapsack. Most of the room in it is now occupied by that. I get out another sack and fit the much stiffer boar hides into it. Buttoning up and strapping on the knapsack, I sling the sack over my shoulder. It’s only been a couple hours out here, and I’m already going back.

Is this good or bad? I don’t know. But hey, I got some food, some stuff to sell, that’s pretty good. And so, setting off once again, I start jogging back the way I came.

…Which way did I come?

Oh, that way. Cool.