A horn blared we charged. I had no choice but to charge as well from the hundreds of pushing warriors at my back. Over the roar of the shouts, and clanging of armor I heard gunshots start to ring out it almost sounded like popcorn in a microwave. As we crashed together non of the enemy combatants paid me any attention. A man on my left took a sword to the stomach and he dropped an axe that was just a little larger than a camping axe… when in Rome.
I reached down to pick it up. As it touched my had it felt like the world spun. Turning my head I something graze past it. A sword had came so close to my head that my hear was buzzing. I jabbed my right hand toward him just before I made contact with his throat I realized that was the hand with the spatula. He fell gurgling beside me. Holy shit. Glancing at the spatula I noticed that the part you would use to flip a hamburger or pancake with had kind of straitened out… making it more into a weapon. A real weapon. Then I noticed it was red, a really bright red. In the middle of boots stomping around me and warriors screaming I started to hyperventilate, I stop suddenly as I notice another man charging me. When I was alive I thought of my self as a pacifist.
When I had a man charging me with death in his eyes something clicked. His sword came down in an overhead swing. My axe came up and again my spatula was reaching out. He pushed his shield in the way and the spatula stopped at the metal ring around it. The axe was still moving and I felt it click as it caught on something. Glancing over his sword had caught between the handle of the axe and its curved blade. Later I learned my next move was a mistake. I moved into the his sword side hoping to force him to drop it. What I achieved was helping him free his blade. Which he promptly brought up into my ribs.
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I woke up later that night, axe and spatula still clutched in my hands. The guy who had killed me walked over with like a gallon sized pitcher of beer. I almost forgave him killing me. Beside me was an open chair, I nodded toward it.
He sat down beside me. “So did you like the axe.”
“Yeah, i was wondering how i kept that.”
“Valhalla made a copy for you. Gregg still has his original axe.”
“That's cool.”
“Yeah in a few days we are planning doing a dungeon crawl if your interested. “
“What's a dungeon crawl?,” i asked.
“In Valhalla not everyone arrives with gear so we do dungeon crawls. Kill things items will drop appropriate to you and your skills. If you were military you might get some modern military type gear. Other wise you'll start out with more simple weapons and work your way up. Some of the old timers still prefer their swords. “