“Woah…That’s…That’s something,” said Sawyer Guillot. The slender, brown-haired, yellow-eyed huntress stared wide-eyed at a massive bone, stone, coral, and ship-wreck-filled gulf that looked strikingly like what one would see if someone stole away all the water in an ocean leaving only the sodden earth and sand beneath.

“Indeed it is, See-Saw, indeed it is,” said Jo. Fully armored, in her orange-yellow, Sun-Eater escargot. Save for Jo’s head, which was left uncovered, her golden hair and floppy, fur-covered, ears shifting in the breeze.

Sawyer’s nose trembled, as she tried not to fidget under Josephine’s slightly cringy nickname for her. It wasn’t like she minded the nicknames, but they did take her by surprise when they started showing up, and it didn’t help that Jo couldn’t seem to make her mind up regarding which nickname for Sawyer she liked best.

“So, what are we out here hunting exactly?” said Lorelai “Laura” Irvine. Jo’s identical, yet somewhat comparatively diminutive, tank-sister. She had the same bright blue eyes. Same curly, golden hair. Same long furry ears. Same pretty heart-shaped face. Same amazonian figure. Yet still somehow more human. More mortal. The fact that she was a little less pollyanna and more down-to-earth made the distinction between the two more noticeable.

“Hm? Oh, we’re out here hoping to bag ourselves a little bit of salted-fish,” said Jo. Her normally bright and cheerful tone diminished by a somber hush. The volume of her voice dropping a few notches.

“Well, I suppose the ocean’s a good place to find some fish, but I’m afraid this ocean hasn’t been home to a living fish in quite some time…Oh, is it the same kind of salted-fish you said that you and your hubby got that one other time?” said Laura. Who wore the same, off the rack, black and gray, heavy-duty escargot that Sawyer was wearing, because Sawyer had been warned her custom armor probably wouldn’t be able to stand up against what they were going to be facing tonight.

“Salted-Fish aren’t actually fish…Or at least they’re not conventional fish…They’re more like massive spirits created after the death of an ocean…” said Brandy. Who was also present, and was wearing her pink, black, and purple Doll-Empress Escargot, with its frilly, floofy, dress-like underskirt. Two, massive and broad-bodied, sea-ape type War-Dolls flanking her.

“Wait…So, this was an actual ocean?” said Sawyer. A little shocked, but now able to recognize some of the things she’d seen during her few scuba diving experiences, and from various shows involving underwater life.

“Yeppers-peppers…We’re on a dead world, visiting a dead ocean, to catch ourselves some salted fish,” said Jo.

“Now, hush!… We need to be quiet if we want the salted-fish to come out. Salted-Fish are like…super-duper shy, you guys,” said Jo.

The four women hunkered down in the starless darkness. Holding their words they’d been told. Quietly watching and waiting for the salted-fish to appear. They waited and waited, and then suddenly they felt it. A pressure so great that it drew a small cry from Sawyer, Brandy, and Lorelai, a deep throaty spurt of nervous, slightly-manic, laughter from Josephine.

Sawyer felt a tingle flow up and down her spine. Her heart began to race as her body sensed the presence of a formidable foe. The dead ocean was suddenly alive again, filled with blue light and occupied by illusory, transparent, aquatic lifeforms. At the center of it all, was a slightly less transparent, distinctly physical, entity. A being that looked less like a single massive fish, and more like an amalgamation of all the sea-creatures one might see within an ocean. Making for a being that was mostly fish-like, with the scale of a super-massive whale, a thick chitin shell, countless tendrils, fins, and chitinous limbs, and a distinct humanoid-ness to its overall form. Worst of all was the sheer scale of the beast. It was like seeing a planet emerge from within a planet. The creature was big enough that it could have been home to several civilizations. The beast was big enough that Sawyer found herself wondering if they’d come out to fight some kind of sea god.

The “salted-fish” cried out and Sawyer tasted blood. She’d heard that being too close when a whale was giving its song could mess up someone’s insides. Demon-whales, and magic-whale were supposedly worse, but this planet-sized horror was infinitely more dangerous. A single intonation from it was enough to rattle Sawyer’s reinforced insides and shake her bones until they threatened to break.

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Laura groaned and was caught by one of Brandy’s sea-monkeys.

“You okay?” said Brandy.

“Ugh…I’m fine…Good thing we got these suits…Otherwise, my insides would be mush right now,” said Laura. Waving off the other woman’s concern as she managed to stand on her own again.

“It’s here, ladies! The big fucking fishie is here! Hold onto your butts and remember the plan!” cried Jo.

“Um…What’s the plan again?” muttered Sawyer. Feeling like “that” was the kind of thing that should have been discussed beforehand. Worried that it “had” been discussed and she was somehow the one idiot in the group that hadn’t been paying attention.

Brandy chuckled. Seemingly knowing Sawyer’s thought, though since she was apparently supposed to be some kind of psychic maybe it was more than just an appearance.

“Don’t worry…Jo just forgot that this is the first time you’ve gone hunting with us. We’re going by the default plan,” said Brandy.

“Ah, I get it…And uh, that plan is…?”

“Hunting Dog and Huntress, just like always…We’re the hunting dogs, drawing attention and dealing with the auxiliaries…” said Brandy.

There was a loud howl. Wolfish and deafening. The undead ocean was pushed back by an illusory moon. Jo ran forward and this time the cowl and helm of her escargot were up. Up and in a lupine form.

“Big Guts Fishie!!! Imma rend! Imma tear! Imma rip you open!” roared Jo. Her voice sounded like thunder. Beneath her words flowed a growling undercurrent of primal bloodlust.

Sawyer found herself influenced, falling under her pack leaders’ flow. The salted-fish summoned spectral minions. Floating sharks of various kinds that launched themselves at the group, and schools of bus-sized jellyfish that fired bursts of electrified stingers. Brandy dealt with the sharks. She stood under the guard of her two sea-monkey war-dolls and summoned a small army of smaller floating scuba-diver war-dolls armed with machine guns.

Sawyer and Laura dealt with the jellyfish. Sawyer brought out her sniper rifle and aimed for the cores that lay deep within the jellyfish’s cores. Laura brought out an ironically named minigun. The massive Gatling-style barrel created a bullet rain that tore apart the billowing bell-like bodies of the jellyfish. Reducing them to spectral mist, and pulpy ectoplasm-based flesh.

This lasted for quite a while. Each time the group would slay the salted-fish’s summoned minions the salted-fish would just summon more. The three hunters stood their ground and did their best to deal with the endless tide of aquatic-undead. The salted-fish mixed things up by summoning undead-mermen, skeletal fish-men, and exploding whale-corpses. Adding a new monster after a few every few waves.

Soon Sawyer’s shoulders, arms, and hips began to ache from dealing with the repeated recoil. Her aim began to waver, and her hands and fingers grew so jittery that she couldn’t help but be glad that her sniper rifle was self-loading. This was a battle of endurance. As a hunter and adventurer, Sawyer knew that sometimes this was just the way it was. Some foes you couldn’t just kill, you needed to outlast them too. Wearing them down over time. Yet, Sawyer had never fought a fight that took this long. She’d taken down trolls and bio-anomalies that took hours to kill, but this salted-fish seemed like it was taking days. Weeks even. Sawyer looked at her system log and the sheer amount of munitions used in this one hunt, seemed greater than the number she’d fired in her career up until now.

Mercifully, wonderfully, just as Sawyer was wondering how much longer she’d need to last, and if she could even hold on that long, the salted-fish cried out. The massive spectral behemoth bellowed a final time and collapsed. The spirit sea that it had summoned and the sea-life within that sea all vanished leaving behind only the loot that was dropped by the slain minions.

Then from within the belly of the beast emerged a massive blonde-furred wolf. A small canine mountain covered in metal. The wolf howled at the sky and then transformed into an armored Josephine. Eyes bright and tail a-wag.

“Whoo, that was wild…!But after being trapped in that stinky ghost fish forever and ever, I think I hate seafood now, so why did we do this?” said Josephine.

“Um…Maybe we can use these monster parts for artifact creation and potion-making?” said Brandy.

“Yesh, that…That’s why we did this…That’s why we made this fish our bitch!” said Jo. Howling at the sky again. Prompting Laura to begin howling as well, which for whatever reason led to everyone else howling. All of them, simply relieved to still be alive as they stood in the shadow of the slain planet-sized sea-monster.