One morning when I was walking down the hallway I glanced over at Isabelle’s door, as I often did now, only to see her in the doorway looking back at me. She was ghostly pale and had bags under her eyes. She was still in pajamas and her hair was an unbrushed mess of tangles. She looked at me intensely, and opened her mouth to speak, but it appeared that her words failed her. In the absence of words she just stared at me as if she needed something.

“Do you want to talk?” I asked softly.

She nodded her head and moved to the side, allowing me to come inside. Her roommate had moved into a different room after June passed. She wanted to give Isabelle space to grieve in privacy. The state of the room told me that she was still unwell. It looked like a tornado had blown through. Clothes and papers littered the floor, and I guessed it had been several days since she’d last showered. I made a mental note to clean it up for her once I could convince her to leave the room. I approached her bed and sat on the edge of it gently. I patted the spot next to me and waited for her to gain the courage to take the offer and sit down.

“So what’s going on?” I asked softly.

Isabelle sighed deeply and raked her fingers through her hair. They snagged on the mess of tangles, causing her to abandon the effort. “Do you remember the friend June talked about? The one they thought might’ve been an Oddity that got arrested,” she asked.

I nodded. “I remember. The news footage made them suspect the media coverup. They thought he may have some type of strength-based oddity right?”

“Exactly,” she said. She paused and looked down at her hands in her lap. She picked at her nails and seemed to be stalling for time.

“What about him?” I prodded.

“She was right. He did have super strength. I lied to her and Lucas. I told them I didn’t find a record of him but I did. He tried to escape once he got to the facility, and was killed like all the others.”

I stared at her, waiting for her to continue, but she just stared back at me with pain twisting her expression. “I’m sure you had a reason though, right?” I asked softly.

“I guess you could say that. I knew how afraid she was. I thought she might give up if she knew someone so close to them was killed. So I lied and now I can never tell her the truth,” her voice cracked and she abruptly stopped talking. She tried to clear her throat a few times, and rapidly blinked back tears.

There wasn’t anything I could say to comfort her on the topic. We both knew this wasn’t about a lie, and we both knew she wouldn’t have abandoned us even if she knew. This was a misguided attempt and taking some of the blame, nothing more. I put my arm around her shoulder and pulled her closer. She rested her head on my shoulder and sighed deeply.

“If you want to blame someone, blame Cam. You know June would’ve never left you or Lucas. What happened was a tragedy, but there’s nothing we can do to take it back. All we can do is keep working towards the goal we all set out to accomplish. Okay?” I said softly.

She pulled her head off my shoulder and wiped at the corner of her eyes, whisking away a few uninvited tears. She nodded and cracked a weak smile. “You’re right. I’ll try.”

We talked for a bit longer. We shared memories of June. She was a shy and reserved person when we met, but throughout the time I knew her she started to leave her shell. She cared so deeply for everyone here, and they all felt the same way in return. She was a bright light for those dealing with the darkness of our circumstances, and she’d be greatly missed. I finally coaxed her into showering and going down for a meal so she could soak in some sunlight and talk to people. I told her it would be good for her to move around some.

While she was preoccupied cleaning herself up I tidied up her room for her, and then I followed her down to the cafeteria. To my surprise I saw Lucas sitting at a table with her. There were several people gathered around to check on them as they ate, and they both had at least a hint of a smile on their faces. Things were finally looking up for them. Satisfied with the role I played in helping June, I moved on to find Alex. He was still suffering under the weight of the guilt he felt for allowing Cam to cause so much damage. I hoped that if he saw June and Lucas finally doing better, he’d be able to find solace in it as well.

After searching for a while I finally found him outside. He was lurking near the front steps, staring off into the distance. I walked up behind him and snaked my arms around his chest, burying my head into his back. He placed his hands over mine and we stood in silence for a few moments like that. Finally he released himself from my grip and moved to sit on the steps. I finally realized what he had been staring at. His gaze was firmly locked onto the transport truck we’d used for the supply run. It had been moved further off to the side of the building, but the sight of it still seemed to haunt him.

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“Lucas and Cam are up now. They’re in the cafeteria talking to everyone. They both smiled even,” I said abruptly.

He nodded. “That’s great,” he said half-heartedly without breaking his concentration on the truck.

“They’re going to be okay. Everyone is healing. I’m sure they’d feel better if their leader was around too,” I said gently.

He put his head in his hands and groaned. “I know. I just can’t shake this. Maybe Cam was right about me.”

“She wasn’t,” I interrupted harshly, “and before you even say it, it wasn’t your fault. You shouldn’t apologize for trying to see the good in people. That compassion is what makes you such an amazing leader in the first place. It’s why Lucas chose you to be in charge. You have the heart and kindness to forgive, and make rational decisions that the rest of us are too angry to make. Without you we’d have probably already found ourselves neck deep in a war we had no way of winning.”

“You’re the same way though. You could lead. They all love you,” he said with a pleading tone. He turned to look at me and his eyes looked desperate. He really wanted me to take the burden away from him.

“I couldn’t, though. Come on, you know me. I’m afraid to kill. I feel guilty every time. But then on the other hand the anger I feel makes me not even want to negotiate with them. I conflict myself and freeze up. I’d sooner just sit here and let time pass me by, until someone forced me to act. I freeze every time, and every time you’re the one who steps up to save me. You’re the only one suited to lead. I’m only suited for killing or running away,” I said quietly. The shakiness of my voice betrayed my feelings of helplessness.

His expression softened. “I’m sorry, you’re right about me leading I guess, I’ll shake it off. But you’re wrong about only being good for killing. You inspire them, you know? You’re the reason they don’t leave. I bet you’re the reason Isabelle is okay now, and I know you’re the reason I’m okay. Don’t sell yourself short,” he ordered me, trying to sound serious as a smile crept onto his face.

I nodded and smiled back. I guess I had impacted a few people. I’m glad I could at least help out those closest to me. The past few days have been painful. I felt like I was walking on eggshells around our immediate group. Alex, Lucas, and Isabelle had been deep in sadness, and I felt it was my responsibility to help them. I knew they needed time, but it was killing me to stand by and watch them suffer. I was overjoyed to see them start healing.

Alex and I walked inside and joined the others at the table. The four of us sat together and talked. We shared memories, good and bad, and we shared smiles for the first time in awhile. The people around us definitely took note of the change in our attitudes, and it seemed to spread to them quickly. Within a few short hours the general spirit of the place rose up, and we returned to being productive. Lucas announced that training would resume tomorrow, and Isabelle grabbed her crew and returned to the lab. I looked around at everyone, and felt overjoyed at the sight. We needed this. Maybe I was good at something other than killing.

Lucas found me later in the evening and wrapped me in a hug without warning. It was uncharacteristic of him, and it startled me, but I accepted the awkward hug happily. “I don’t know what you did, but thank you. I needed to see Isa smile. We’re going to be okay,” he whispered softly. He released me from the hug and grinned at me, before thanking me again and going on his way.

The next morning felt almost normal. Everyone was working again with smiles across their faces. Isabelle was engrossed with lab reports, and didn’t even notice when I poked my head into the lab to check on her. Alex was zipping around the facility checking on various groups, and Lucas was talking with Trevor about training plans for the day. Everything felt right in the world for a moment.

I went to training, and poured my all into it. I worked with each group, fine tuning their attack patterns and strategies. We spent a good amount of time going over how to fight all together too. We knew that eventually we’d likely have to face a larger battle when it came time to earn our freedom. We covered in depth how we’d position if the facility was attacked. Who would go where, who would focus on what. We covered it all to the best of our ability. I wanted to make sure we were ready for anything. I spent some time Trevor’s group practicing with a gun too. That group was improving rapidly. They made good use of the targets that Lucas got from the gun store, and proved their accuracy.

The trees that June had grown for our training started to take a lot of damage from our practice. Over time they became riddled with holes. They were burned, zapped, frozen, and torn apart. It brought up some pain for me, but it also made me grateful. Even in death she was still helping us prepare.

The next week went by without any incidents. We were all hard at work, and everyone seemed to be largely content with our environment. People were comfortable and felt safe again, and I could finally admit that I did play a significant part in making that happen. What I lacked in decisiveness I felt I made up for by making sure those around me were okay. We all had our strengths and weaknesses, and it was just a matter of working together to take advantage of everyone’s strengths.

Together we were a sight to behold, and maybe, we were even on our way to being the elite force of super soldiers that the government was trying to create. Except instead of working for the government, we’d be holding them accountable for their crimes, and fighting them for our right to be free. What they had failed to account for was that at the end of the day, we had the powers they wanted, and the soul of free citizens. Unlike the ones who willingly signed contracts to undergo Oddity testing, this was forced upon us. We swore no allegiance to fight for them, nor did we owe them anything. I felt more confident than ever that someday we would actually achieve our goal, freedom to return to normal lives. It was all we really wanted, and now we were strong enough to make it happen.