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Odd, the Conquering Gob
Where's My Mommy?

Where's My Mommy?

On September 16th, 2035 CE, the world as we knew it was over.

A being declared itself as a god when his voice entered the ears or every human in their native tongues.

"You have a free will that most civilizations in the universe would die for, yet you do nothing with it! Be thankful, for this humble god will grant you my greatest creations and connect you to the greater universe!"

And he left. Just two sentences with what later became known as a warning.

Before the people of Earth had the chance to make sure their friends and family heard the same voice as they themselves did, a new breed of creatures arrived at our world in mass. They were tossed through purple tears in the very space itself, appearing inside buildings, on the streets, and in the wild.

The average citizen was able to easily defeat these bloodthirsty, animistic, albino creatures that stood roughly one to two feet tall. They all had sharp, jagged teeth, an ovular head, and long, pointed ears. Surprising the world, they had no organs, complicated systems, or blood, but were solid constructs of flesh with innards consisting of a gooey organic material that kept them 'alive.'

Although the world was panicking, it was equally abuzz in excitement as the Connection preceeded a worldwide retirement and job quitting spree as large swaths of humanity were claiming they would become gods like the one that spoke to us.

Five days later, as we captured some Gobs and exterminated others, academics became especially terrified. These monsters were proving to be the pinnacle of evolutionary prowess.

-Exert from "Chronicle of the Gob," by the Avalon Institute of the former UK, 842 FE.

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Proto-Gobs are born with hereditary knowledge. They know what's edible, how breeding works, that death is the end, and how to speak their personal language that is surprisingly sophisticated. Everything from the brutes to the most intelligent Gobs and those who continue to speak their ancestors' language can use it equally.

With a cocktail of basic knowledge, complete lack of experience, and a deep seated, irresistible desire to procreate and evolve quickly, Proto-Gobs are almost always bloodthirsty simpletons that waste their innate talents. More than other, higher evolved Gobs, Proto-Gobs exist to fight, eat, and fuck anything they can find.

Hic was born as one of the abnormal ones.

The other Gobs knew he was weird, because the first thing he did after he was born and assigned his name, was to stretch out his limbs before he bringing his hand up to his chin in deep thought.

"No," Hic said with a tone of confident finality. "I will never be named after the sound someone makes when they have an uncontrollable, annoying spasm."

After that remark, it took ten minutes of yelling back and forth before the green, old, paper thin Gob with a beard that a wizard would be jealous of, hit him. He had a mangled cane that looked like an uprooted tree root that made the perfect bonking stick for newborns.

The old, Goblin-type Gob huffed to himself before he stormed off. He was fully fed up with this situation. Gobs should all know their place in the hierarchy of strength, but he is always more patient with newborns because he can trick them into giving him free food sometimes because of the bonds he forms when he teaches them the way life works. A dog doesn't bite the hand that feeds and Proto-Gobs usually don't either. "Name yourself then, stupid, odd Gob, I don't fucking care!"

Hic didn't want to be called Hic. He didn't want to be called Rack either. It was basically calling him as smart as a mispronounced rock! When he wanted to be called Einstein, the older Gob kept mispronouncing the "stien," as "shit," because their shallow intellect and underdeveloped tongues couldn't handle certain sounds.

It was when he wanted to be called, "Percival," when he said that it was not only a gay name, but a human name as well before he had enough of the newborn Proto-Gob.

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He didn't even know what a human was. He knew he had the capability to evolve into just about anything and there were a ton of categories, but none of them he knew of were called, "human."

The newborn Gob shook his head. "Two days," he vowed to himself. "I will come up with--and stick to--the perfect name within 2 days! There are more important stuff to figure out now, like where I am, what are the people here like, and what can I eat!" he slapped a fist made from his four, sharp fingers into an open palm and made his oath. A personal identifier was just too important to come up with one on a whim.

The odd Gob finally took stock of his surroundings. He was in a dimly lit cave that had parts of animals and sticks laying around the messy floor. Some dark skinned Gobs at the back of the cave were eating bugs that didn't look particularly appetizing, but all food will eventually help Proto-Gobs evolve and fill their regularly famished appetites, so it didn't matter to them or the new observer.

Some green Gobs were fighting with sticks and rocks near the entrance of the cave, while a couple were currently eating feces. A particularly buff Gob with small, black horns on his forehead was watching the active combatants impassively while three female Gobs of varying shades of color were rubbing his back, thighs, and... getting him off.

Sure, sex is supposed to feel good and help make more Gobs, but right in front while people are fighting? The odd Gob formed his comfortable thinking pose with his hand to his chin. "Are all Gobs this weird?" He noticed that several young Proto-Gobs were watching the scene with a mesmerized intensity.

"Those Gobs look very impressionable," he hypothesized. He didn't chastise any of them though, live and let live. As long as they can get stronger and evolve, then that's great. It may even be a condition for a better evolutionary path to get head while in front of an audience like a worshiped god.

Then, the newborn turned his body further and found the breeding vessels the tribe owned.

Like all hereditary knowledge, it was literally common knowledge to know that Gobs produce better progeny when they are breed with Non-Gobs.

Like the odd Gob himself, for example, he was smart enough to realize that the total sum of all the other Gobs around him might add together to be as smart as him.

If they were lucky.

They were obvious idiots, bashing sticks and stones, and eating poop. It didn't take a genius to think of tying the sticks and the stones TOGETHER to make better weapons and to cook food in a fire. Common things that can kill them are a part of its knowledge base from birth and it doesn't take much to try to emulate them and form crude tools.

The breeding vessels though, the ones he intellectually knew were smarter than the other Gobs, looked like hell.

Two of them were male, one was currently being ridden by a dark skinned female Gob. It would be stupid to discriminate in their breeding objects, the Connection made by the original god was the ultimate equalizer.

Alongside the men, laid four women, one of them bloated with pregnancy. All of the breeding vessels were clasped in Connection Blocking Chains around their wrists behind their back. The other ends of the chains were buried into the cave walls.

The odd Gob had no idea which one of the four prisoners was his mother, but he knew she was there. He decided to look them over in detail. Two of them had odd, rounded ears that shouldn't even be possible. One of the other Gobs must of noticed him staring as he threw a rock at him.

"Stupid youngling, that human. They're the natives of this world!"

These Gobs are so violent!

Both of the humans had dead looking, glassy eyes and other than their weird ears, they looked like some variants that Gobs could evolve into, if you ignored the weird, round ears. Everything with a strand of magical Gob DNA has sharp ears.

The newborn albino also knew that his race was originally from another world, but nothing more. All Gobs and evolved Gobs could bread with anything, including the natives of other worlds, Gob genes were the most dominant genetic material in all the known universe.

Whatever, they were just the natives. Not like they were other Gobs.

Finished perusing the humans, he inspected a green skinned woman with sharp ears and savage tusks that stuck out an inch outside her mouth.

Her body, however, was a husk.

Gobs have a very strict way of doing things in regards to their breeding sows.

They fed them well. They made sure that when they bleed and were injured, it was as little as possible.

And they raped them as often as possible.

The gestation period for a Gob was less than one month. After birth, a Proto-Gob would evolve into a second tier creature within five days and then into a third tier creature after another 360 days, unless special conditions were met that hastened their evolution.

Naturally, the bodies of most Enlightened species cannot handle birthing Gobs over and over again without rest, so they eventually dry up. The end result is like the woman in front of the odd Gob.

The only thought the Proto-Gob had about the last woman was, 'Why not let her take a break between breeding new Gobs so she can rest? It's a waste of resources to treat them this poorly.'

The whole thing looked painful to endure and this one could be his mother, but it didn't really matter to him who birthed him in the end, so he moved on to the final woman.

Gobs had no sense of kinship, he didn't even entertain the possibility of staying in contact with the one who birthed him. It was only curiosity that had him looking over these prisoners.

He stumbled over to the final woman chained to the wall and peered into her eyes.

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