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Chillaxing for a Few Seconds

Chillaxing for a Few Seconds

A steaming pile of freshly baked biscuits sat atop a table in the middle of John’s cozy living room. In the room was John himself and his best friend Kookakoo, chillaxing on the sofa watching the anime adaptation of “Demon Babe”, a very well written a masterful piece of fiction.

“Hey John, do you think this show will get another season after this one ends?” Kookakoo asked, glancing over at him. “SSSSH DON’T CALL ME BY MY REAL NAME!” John barked.

Kookakoo flinched a bit and looked down sadly. “But I thought you were okay with me saying your name.” She mumbled, feeling dejected.

John patted Kookakoo on the head and replied. “It’s not because of you. It’s because we’re being watched.” He explained.

”By who?” Kookakoo asked with a gasp of shock. “The Five Man Trio!” Octopus Man replied.

Kookakoo screamed at the top of her lungs. “NOT THEM!” She shouted, clinging to John in fear.

”Worry not my dear Kookakoo, for I am Octopus Man!” John declared, pulling his trusty octopus plush and red blanket cape out from out of his pocket dimension. After putting the two on he stood up and struck a heroic pose.

Kookakoo looked up at him, her eyes sparkling in admiration.

”Can I come too?” She asked with a huge smile on her face. “Of course! You are my bestie after all.”

”WAHOOO!” Kookakoo shouted, jumping for joy.

Catalina, the adorable shape-shifting black Labrador, came out of the woodworks and barked to get Octopus Man’s attention.

Kookakoo heard the bark and looked over. “Oh Catalina, where have you been?”

Octopus Man shook his head and put a hand on her shoulder. “She’s been working with wood at the woodworks, don’t you know anything?”

”Oh yeah.” Kookakoo said to herself, realizing how painfully obvious the answer was. I mean, it was right there in front of her face.

”HURRY LET’S GO BEFORE THEY DESTROY THE UNIVERSE!” Octopus Man shouted as he began to run out the front door.

With a nod, Kookakoo followed, as did Catalina. The turbulent trio made their way to face off again the evil trio. The one of five people.

As they ran, Kookakoo asked a rather unimportant question. “Hey John, where is the trio anyway?”

”At the center of the Earth!” Octopus Man replied.

Kookakoo realized what the trio must have been doing there almost immediately. “You mean they are going to…” but before she could finish, Octopus Man cut her off. “Yes, they are going to steal all of the biscuits in the world, which will no doubt cause the end of the universe!”

”THEN WE NEED TO HURRY!” Kookakoo screamed. Octopus Man nodded and the three of them ran even faster than before.

They ran around the surface of the Earth 6,000 times until Octopus Man came to an abrupt halt, causing Kookakoo and Catalina to stop behind him.

”What’s wrong?” Kookakoo asked, tilting her head a bit. “I just realized something. Running around the planet won’t help us. We need to get to the center of the Earth.” Octopus Man stated. 

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“Kookakoo put her finger to her chin to contemplate Octopus Man’s statement. “Ooooh yeah. But one problem. Which way was the center of the Earth again?” She asked.

”I think it was up.” Octopus Man responded. “Sounds right!” Kookakoo replied with a smile. Catalina sighed and transformed into a drill and started drilling downwards.

Octopus Man and Kookakoo looked shocked and turned to each other with perplexed expressions. “What is Catalina doing?” Kookakoo asked. Octopus Man shrugged and replied, “Who knows. That dog has a mind of its own. Let’s go to the center of the Earth without her.”

”Yeah!” Kookakoo enthusiastically responded. The two of them began to fly upwards in search of the center of the Earth.

The drill-shaped Catalina continued to dig through the crust of the Earth and began to feel a very warm sensation. “Woof woof bark awoo!” She said, which roughly translates to, “I think I’m close!”

she dug and dug, the heat only growing more intense by the second. It was painful, but she couldn’t give up. This was for biscuits, and the universe or whatever. 

Closer and closer, and once Catalina finally reached the center of the Earth, there was nothing there. Just an empty hole. Catalina reverted back into her dog form and looked around, confused.

Meanwhile, in the vacuum of space, 4 septillion lightyears away, Octopus Man and Kookakoo found themselves in front of a massive rock that was just floating there.

”Welp, here it is. The center of the Earth.” Octopus Man stated with his hands on his hips. “I knew we could do it!” Kookakoo exclaimed.

”OR SO YOU THOUGHT!” A voice shouted. Octopus Man and Kookakoo looked up to see the one speaking. It was Lord Williamth, the sole member of The Five Man Trio. He had brown hair, and his shirt and pants were all cheese colored.

”IT’S YOU! MY RIVAL BACK IN KATHMANDU!” Octopus Man snarled. “Indeed. I remember how pathetic you were trying to get into the championships. It was laughable.” Lord Williamth taunted.

”JOHN, YOU NEVER TOLD ME YOU TRIED TO JOIN THE CHAMPIONSHIPS!” Kookakoo exclaimed.

With a sigh, Octopus Man looked away. “It was a tough time for me. I was never good at cheese crusades, but I gave it my all. But anyway, that’s in the past.” Octopus Man explained before turning his attention back to Lord Williamth. “Why are you doing this now? That was back when I was a wee lad and you beat me in the cheese crusades anyway!”

”Oh I just like seeing you suffer, and taking away biscuits is definitely the best way to do so.” Lord Williamth taunted.

Octopus Man gritted his teeth and shouted, “But didn’t you already get what you wanted? You won the lifetime supply of cheese!”

”Ha! What I wanted? I never wanted the cheese. I just wanted to make you mad because I hate your haircut. I know how precious biscuits are to you, so that is another thing I’ll take.” Lord Williamth said before laughing maniacally.

Octopus Man was about to burst into tears seeing Lord Williamth stand on top of the center of the Earth. If he were to destroy it, it would instantly remove all biscuits, which is common knowledge.

Kookakoo gave Octopus Man a reassuring hug and said, “Don’t worry! Even if all the biscuits are gone and the universe ceases to exist, I’m still here.”

”I DON’T CARE ABOUT THAT! I WANT BISCUITS!” Octopus Man cried. “Yeah fair enough, so do I.” Kookakoo said, also bursting into tears. “HOW CAN WE LIVE WITHOUT BISCUITS?” They wailed simultaneously.

Lord Williamth continued to laugh as they cried in anguish. He raised his fist and was preparing to strike the center of the Earth, however? Octopus Man noticed a tiny piece of space dust floating next to him which caused him to stop crying. He quickly picked up the night microscopic piece of dust and hurled it at Lord Williamth. This caused him to combust into a trillion pieces.

”Got him.” Octopus Man said heroically. Kookakoo wiped away her tears and gave Octopus Man a high-five. “WE DID IT!” She shouted.

”Actually I did and you did jack squat, but that’s neither here nor there.” Octopus Man stated bluntly. Kookakoo just giggled obliviously.

Two seconds later, the two were back at their home, enjoying biscuits now that there was nothing to fear.

“I’m sleepy. I’m gonna go to sleep because I’m sleepy and want to sleep.” Kookakoo said in the least redundant way possible. “Okay. Goodnight Kookakoo!” Octopus Man said, but she was already zonked out and snoring.

This sight caused Octopus Man to giggle to himself a bit, but then a realization set in. “Where is Catalina?”

Meanwhile at Catalina’s funeral, Boomerang was giving the eulogy. “She was always a good dog. Too bad she was burnt to a crisp while trying to find the center of the Earth.”

“Eh it’s probably nothing” Octopus Man said to himself with a shrug as he continued to watch TV while Kookakoo was sleeping next to him. 

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