Sand and chips of dried clay explode upward as the monster erupts from the earth. Long, spindly vines of cacti crawl from the opening like feelers on an insect.

Okay, so, looks like Hans might not have been totally off his rocker after all. If I could hear the approach of a giant, underground, sentient cactus monster whispering murderous threats as it sped our way, maybe I would have been freaking out, too.

A spine-studded vine stabs in my direction, and I stumble back, narrowly avoiding being turned into a human pincushion. Er. Dhampyr pincushion? I’m not given a moment to consider this as more feelers race over the ground, all of them coming for me and Hans.

I take one look at the swarm of crawling cacti, then turn tail and run.

So, not the most heroic move. It’s definitely not my intent to leave Hans to a spindly death. But there’s nothing I can do against this creature barehanded; which means the first step is to arm myself.

As I dash out of the cactus monster’s range, I run past one of the bodies that litter the field. Most have hints of some kind of armor on them, and some of them… there! I dive for the hilt of a sword and yank the weapon from the sand as I spin to face the cactus.

I test the weight of the blade as vines race toward me, grimacing as I note the rust and scuffs along the edge of my sword. Hopefully that won’t stop it from cutting through some plants. I’ve never used a sword before, but how hard can it be to swing a sharp implement around?

I quickly find out. One of the feelers spears toward my feet, and I sidestep the vine, chopping the sword into the ground. Sand sprays into the air as a result, some of it ending up in my eyes and lungs, which causes me to start hacking uncontrollably.

[7 points of Slashing damage dealt,] Echo reports.

Great start, I sarcastically think to myself. But at least I managed to cut through the cactus. And the damage report is interesting. It’s like a game or something—only this feels all too real.

The severed limb sits inert next to me, leaking a clear juice into the sand. I might have actually overdone it with the chopping. Looks like these things don’t need that much force to cut through them. All the better for me.

Spitting grit and blinking the sand out of my eyes, I quickly located Hans—an endeavor made easy from all his screaming. One of the vines is wrapped around his leg, and it’s dragging him back toward its main stalk. I don’t know what it intends to do with the man once he gets there, but I think ‘nothing good’ is a fairly safe assumption. I charge in his direction.

More vines come for me as I run, and I hack them apart without breaking stride. Notifications pop up as I do, Echo reporting, [4 points of Slashing damage dealt. 6 points of Slashing damage dealt. 3 points of Slashing damage dealt,] as I cut each of them to pieces. It’s kind of fun, actually. I love how powerful I feel with each swing of the sword. I love how I feel like I’m doing something. Protecting someone. Maybe it’s just the adrenaline talking, but I could get used to a high like this.

I skid up next to Hans, slashing through the thick vine that’s wrapped around his leg. The cactus monster squeals in protest, its injured limb whipping away, as I grab Hans and haul him to his feet.

“Come on,” I tell him. “We need to get out of here.”

He tries to take a step after me, but his leg crumples. “I can’t,” he gasps. “It hurts!”

I glance skeptically down at his leg, and find the severed vine is still wrapped around him. I grab the loose end and pull, which causes Hans to scream and a strange smell to hit my nose. It’s sweet with a coppery tang, and instantly makes my mouth water. My stomach turns a moment later when I notice the rivulets of blood running down Hans’s leg and I realize where the smell is coming from.

Dozens of finger-long cactus spines are embedded in Hans’s calf, which is why the severed vine still hasn’t fallen away. I swear, one-handedly swinging my sword to cut through more incoming attacks, then hoist Hans’s arm over my shoulder and begin dragging him away. He cries out as I do, but he’ll just have to bear it, or we’ll both end up shish-kabobbed.

When I feel like we’re finally far enough away from the main stalk, I unceremoniously drop Hans to the side, then turn back to face the cactus. Maybe if I can keep chopping off every vine it sends my way, it won’t have any left to attack me with. Even as I think that, a dozen more stalks erupt from the ground and begin crawling over the sand.

I sigh. “You gotta be kidding me.”

Our one saving grace is that the plant isn’t only targeting Hans and I. It’s also grabbing the skeletons half buried in the sand, attempting to drag their crumbling remains back toward its center. That might mean it’s a scavenger of some kind. If it’s just as interested in the bodies as us, then we have an opportunity to escape and leave it to the bones.

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“Think you can make it to the top of the slope?” I ask Hans, still keeping an eye on the cactus monster. “If we can make it up there, it might not follow.”

He only groans in response. Was the injury worse than it looked? I spare a glance down at him, wondering what’s wrong.

[Check,] Echo says, answering my unasked question. [HP: 113/135. Status Effect: Sanity Loss.]

“Sanity Loss?” I repeat, alarmed. Sure enough, the man is groaning, rocking slightly back and forth as he clutches his head. “Why? What’s causing that?”

[Failure to adhere to the user’s Role Requirement may result in a decreased Sanity stat.]

“What the hell?” Whatever happens, I need to make sure I don’t end up the same as him. But first thing’s first. I have to take care of this—

Stabbing pain spikes through my ankle as I’m yanked from my feet.

[7 points of Piercing damage sustained.]

The sword flings from my hand as I strike the ground. I lunge for it, but another tug on my leg pulls me away, and I grab only a fistful of sand. I scream through clenched teeth as excruciating pain radiates up my leg with each tug, and I roll over onto my back and kick at the vine with my free foot. A bloody spine protrudes from my ankle, and my stomach lurches at the sight. Focusing instead on the vine, I grind the heel of my boot into the plant, and succeed in breaking open its flesh. More watery liquid spills out, and with a final slam of my boot, I break all the way through. I hiss in pain as I drag my injured leg back toward me, struggling to claw my way through the sand and away from the monster. I leave drips of blood in my wake, and the smell once again prickles my nose in a way I can only describe as delicious.

This is so messed up.

I groan as I try to peel the vine away, each tiny shift sending fresh lances of pain up my leg. I can’t get anywhere with this thing sticking out of me. Shit, no wonder Hans was screaming. But as damn painful as it is, at least it didn’t hit any vital organs, and I’m in no danger of bleeding out.

“Do it fast,” I growl to myself, grinding my teeth as sand crunches between them. “Like a bandaid. Quick—”

I yank the spine out of my leg and scream again, throwing the spine uselessly back toward the monster.

“Screw you,” I seethe as blood oozes from my wound. I clamp my hands around it, but the pain has already lessened, and when I roll my ankle, it aches, but there’s no new lances of pain. “Screw you, you stupid meat-eating… plant.” Okay, not my best insult. But it’s a little hard to come up with something snappy when you’re in pain and fighting for your life. “Now you’ve done it.”

I struggle to my feet, testing my weight on my injured leg, and find it can support me just fine. I thought it was worse than this, honestly. Maybe it wasn’t as deep as I thought?

[Health Regeneration Rate: 1 HP per minute.]

Woah. I’ll heal automatically? Nice! It’s still aching pretty bad, but at this rate I’ll be healed up in another couple minutes—assuming I can survive the next few minutes. That cactus monster needs to be taken down. Now, it’s personal.

More of the cacti feelers are crawling in my direction, so I limp quickly away, looking for my sword. I catch sight of it half covered in sand a dozen feet away, though a new twisting vine is between me and it. No matter. It’s not the only discarded weapon in the crater.

Quickly checking Hans is still out of vine range first, a jog-limp away to the next nearest body. The skeleton’s clothes are full of holes, and its armor and bones fall to pieces when I try to tug part of it out of the sand. If there’s a sword strapped to its waist, it’s buried, and I don’t have time to go digging.

A glint of metal catches my eye, and I limp-run over to it next. The corner of something pointy is sticking out of the sand. I grab the edge and pull. The item shifts, but it’s heavier than I expected. I take hold of the metal with both hands, then haul it up with everything I’ve got.

I go staggering back as the shield comes free from the sand. It’s enormous—as big as me—and patterned with a wicked design of fangs and claws. Red stones glint within the dark metal like eyes, and an impression of teeth are engraved at its center. Honestly, pretty damn cool looking. But it’s not a sword, and while a shield certainly doesn’t hurt, this one is definitely of the two-handed variety.

At the very least, maybe I can set it up in front of Hans to buy us some time. I dash back over to Hans, finding the shield lighter than expected—or maybe I’m just stronger than I’m used to—and the ache in my leg lessening with every passing moment. One of the cactus’s feelers is creeping toward Hans even as I arrive, and I slam the shield down on its limb, severing the vine as I lodge the shield in place. So not totally useless as a weapon. Neat.

“Okay,” I say, gripping the edge of the shield as I look around for the next nearest available weapon. “If I were a sword, where would I…”

Something moves at the edge of my mind. I flinch, looking wildly around for the source of the deeply unsettling sensation I just experienced. What was that? Was it really in my head? Maybe I caught something in the corner of my eye—

The sensation happens again, and this time, it’s accompanied by more concrete thoughts. A mind yawning into my own, stretching out like a cat waking up from a nap.

Blood. It tastes blood.

A faint light appears within the rubies on the surface of the shield. Spiraling out from the stones, red lines glimmer to life along its surface, tracing the carvings of teeth and claws etched into its face. My bloody fingerprints, which cover the shield where I’d been holding onto it, abruptly vanish as if absorbed into the metal itself.

[Bond established,] Echo says.

I snatch my hand away, taking an alarmed step back. What the hell? I mean, I know the demonic design probably should have clued me in to its suspicious nature, but how was I supposed to know it was literally possessed?

Even though I’m no longer touching it, I can still feel it in my mind. It’s looking about curiously, taking in our surroundings. It notices me, and more specifically, it notices the open wound on my ankle.

Blood. It needs more!

“Uhhhh, yeah, no thanks,” I say, backing further away. Unfortunately, that leaves Hans right next to it. The shield notices him, too.

God dammit.

I dart back in, grabbing Hans and hoisting him up by his shoulders, then give the creepy shield a kick for good measure, intending to launch it away from the both of us.

As it turns out, this was kind of a dumb move.