Shakai's POV
Ryoko Shakai. 17 Years of age. A monster.
"Y-YOU MONSTER!" Right back at me.
I was seven years old that time. When I was defied by my own mother. It was since father left us. The reason? Affair.
From pictures framed up on the wall, you could easily tell that we are a happy family. Once. That fallacy only happened once. Once father left us, mother got addicted to alcohol. Tens of thousands given from our father who still support us, even though they seperated were spent on alcohol in daily basis.
The money was supposed to be my tution fees and our spending money for everyday. We have kept it as allowance but even a single penny, I could not receive.
Except of alcohol, mother, Tina Shakai now spends her time on gambling. She got addicted at first try. She was baited by her 'friend' who introduced her at gambling.
I was satisfied seeing her happy. But the reason? Winning in a huge gamble.
The day came she has a lose-streak and spent all of the given money in only one day. She begs for more money, abandoning her pride. But, nothing happens and fortune stops ticking.
"IF ONLY... IF ONLY..." Plates shattering on the ground served as the proof of her rage. The lost of gamble was pointed... none other than me.
I silence myself. Even deep inside I am screaming for help. It also came to a day where even our priceless jewelries gone missing one day. Gambling was the reason.
Father left us. And for my own narration, the old Mother I am clinging onto also left me.
The root gave us debt that we could not pay. Silencing Mother temporarily at gambling. "IF ONLY YOU ARE NOT BORN!"
She says as she throws those dangerous plates at me. I am on the corner murmuring, only if... I wasn't born.
"YOU... YOU MONSTER! YOU BRING NOTHING BUT UNFORTUNATE EVENTS!" Ever since I was born, there have been unfortunate events.
"I-I KNOW... WHY DON'T I 'ACCIDENTALLY' KILL YOU AND TAKE INSURANCE? OR EVEN USE YOUR BODY TO PAY THE DEBT?! MAKE YOURSELF USEFUL!"
Which I did so too.
I am always exposed to bullying that they could not figure something out.
That happened for years. Since elementary school. At school, I am always freaking out, same with the thing I call 'home'. Anyone who accompany me ends in a terrible state.
I bring bad luck. I wish I wasn't born... as a sign to protect people.
Now I am in high school. One thing that concern me is... the people who used to supreme over me were also my classmates.
"Oh... Look who we have here." Ana Cruz. A condescending woman. I kept my head low because I couldn't face such formidable person.
"Since elementary school... you know your routine, right?" She said and handed me money. I have a bad feeling about this.
"Y-yes..." I replied with my voice shaking. I know my purpose.
My purpose is... to be used.
I ran to the nearest canteen and brought enough food even though it is not time for break yet. In my head, it is okay for the teacher to get mad at me... But never those bullies.
It is near homeroom so I started to run. Class I-F. The class I was assigned to. Pretty much far. I haven't been given any books to learn, only scars.
"E-excuse me!" I bumped over some guy but I ignored him. I'm sorry, who you are... but I am in a hurry right now.
Ha. As if he'll care about me being sorry anyways.
There is only one principle in this world that i've seen... Money.
Money solves everything, money can bring happiness, money can silence a person, money can bring back the ties of a family, money is power.
I could still feel pain, sadness, anger, and hatred but never the happiness again. Well... if we talk about it deeply, I could not feel anymore pain.
It's because I could not feel. Or it's because i'm already used to it.
You could say... feelings were taken away from me.