“I was the hero of my world you know?” said an old dying farmer.
“I know grampa, I know. Please just stay with me!” Said a young boy holding his hand. He was standard hero material. An unknown past, no blood relation to the man dying on the bed but they still loved each other as only true family could. The boy had come back from an attack on the now burning village. But that wasn’t what had killed the old man, he was just old.
“Oh do you know? But child I was the hero of my world, and my people. Oh, there were many worlds for sure, and many more heroes even on my world, I was but one of many. But I was the hero of my world and people.” The old man said. The child continued to cry out.
“And it all started with a migraine...” The old man said.
“... But that is not what you want to hear, child I know you’ve heard it all before. This is not my story, it is your’s. You are different, you know this, but you do not know how different. You are destined for greatness. Here, this is yours, I know not what house it belongs to but it is your heritage and was with you when I found you. And here, take this ring. It holds all my techniques and my will. I never found a disciple in life, but in death I may finally pass on my techniques. Child, I lo...” And with that the old man died as the child cried.
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Somewhere out in the universe there was much clapping. “Oh god, cringeworthy but it’s finally over!” Said a man, or well a soul that had just vacated the old man's body.
“Thos full immersion guys are so hard to please, but man does this guy have the bank account to motivate me!” Said another soul on the team. The picture that he was looking at on file was of an ugly xeno. Of course, there were ugly xenos and then there were xenos that were ugly and there were ugly ugly xenos. This one was the latter. It was a picture of a tentacled xeno with all the problems that came with being rich, powerful, decadent, and having poor hygiene.
But he was also rich enough that Wednesdays were lipo and tentacle lift days, Thursdays were muscle boost and sculpting days, and every other day of the alien calendar was a day that he was getting sculpted shaped and reformed to look like a perfect being. All of that and the creature still ended up looking this terrible just went to show how decadent it’s lifestyle truly was.
The man soul that had been playing the part of the hero’s grandfather relaxed in soul space. One of his coworkers looked over at him and said “Wait don’t tell me your getting another migraine! Ha!”
The man soul said “Ya… that’s just what I need.” He remembered how this whole gig had started, and how his world was really saved. And not by some little prick who’s daddy’s bank account was to big for some big bad demon king to support. And it all happened because of a migraine.
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[System stabilizing patient: initializing… Quote [“Hang in there!”] end Quote]
[Patient continuing to destabilize: initiating emergency system startup protocols: Quote [“We’re losing him! Help me here!”] end Quote]
[Initiating emergency system release on entity #0456998734598 A-C4 973476546645764 D4SA5SDFHWE452: Early system release engaged...]
[Administering emergency healing… emergency healing complete… automating system message initiating...]
[sYSteM: hELLO! WeLcOME TO THE SYSTEM: INITIALIZING AUTOMATED MESSAGE INITIATED QUOTE [“You will feel a little pinch, nothing you haven’t been through before. Please bare with me and welcome to the system proper!”] END QUOTE]
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Or should he say he remembered how it truly began...
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[Entity #0456998734598 A-C4 973476546645764 D4SA5SDFHWE452 has died, reinitializing]
[Entity #0456998734598 A-C4 973476546645764 D4SA5SDFHWE452 has respawned at start point as [Hidden Villager QUEST NPC] Initializing...]
A man walked around inside his house. He was the hidden quest giver in this starter village. He made himself a cup of tea…
And was promptly shot in the head by an arrow…
[Entity #0456998734598 A-C4 973476546645764 D4SA5SDFHWE452 has died, reinitializing]
[Entity #0456998734598 A-C4 973476546645764 D4SA5SDFHWE452 has respawned at start point as [Hidden Villager QUEST NPC] Initializing...]
Now normally the system wouldn’t continuously spawn an NPC. They would have to grow and mature like every other NPC in the world. However, this NPC was critical to the quest and thus needed to exist. So the system had been set to spawn the NPC over and over again.
[Entity #0456998734598 A-C4 973476546645764 D4SA5SDFHWE452 has died, reinitializing]
[Entity #0456998734598 A-C4 973476546645764 D4SA5SDFHWE452 has respawned at start point as [Hidden Villager QUEST NPC] Initializing...]
But the fact that this particular ‘Player’ was camping this particular NPC was a known issue. The reports had subsequently been shoved up the line and no more then 5 milliseconds after the second killing of the NPC was there a patch that made the NPC no longer give out any rewards or demerits what so ever.
[Entity #0456998734598 A-C4 973476546645764 D4SA5SDFHWE452 has died, reinitializing]
[Entity #0456998734598 A-C4 973476546645764 D4SA5SDFHWE452 has respawned at start point as [Hidden Villager QUEST NPC] Initializing...]
The company had hoped that this would solve the issue and the ‘Player’ would eventually get bored, as ‘Players’ are known to do. They aren’t a species known for their ability to maintain focus.
[Entity #0456998734598 A-C4 973476546645764 D4SA5SDFHWE452 has died, reinitializing]
[Entity #0456998734598 A-C4 973476546645764 D4SA5SDFHWE452 has respawned at start point as [Hidden Villager QUEST NPC] Initializing...]
However this particular ‘Player’ was what is known as a griefer and a camper. He enjoyed camping these NPCs to literally no end and had been at this for days.
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[Entity #0456998734598 A-C4 973476546645764 D4SA5SDFHWE452 has died, reinitializing]
[Entity #0456998734598 A-C4 973476546645764 D4SA5SDFHWE452 has respawned at start point as [Hidden Villager QUEST NPC] Initializing...]
The company of course looked at it, saw that there was no danger to actual gameplay and said “Meh.” They didn’t really care about the NPCs they were using or the after effects on them. They were a low market high volume company that didn’t really care about anything but the bottom line, and basic ‘NPC safety protocol’ was not on that line.
[Entity #0456998734598 A-C4 973476546645764 D4SA5SDFHWE452 has died, reinitializing]
[Entity #0456998734598 A-C4 973476546645764 D4SA5SDFHWE452 has respawned at start point as [Hidden Villager QUEST NPC] Initializing...]
So as the readers are surely aware the NPC themselves were starting to get a very bad migraine from constantly dying. This in itself was actually kind of amazing since the NPCs memory should be wiped the moment they respawn. However, the NPC was respawning so fast in such a set pattern that the [System] could not fully wipe the feedback loop before it started again. This had caused a small headache in the NPC that has become a very large migraine.
Now, this migraine has caused internal bleeding that isn’t something the system can repair without becoming a permanent part of the human’s body. This would then cause permanent damage and the eventual death of the human when the world reintegrates with the [System] releasing the NPC and all the others with full [Citizenship]. Of course, the murder or death of a citizen under the system is very serious. True citizens just don’t die outside of the war.
But the war is played out far beyond the battlefield of this tiny planet. That is actually why the ‘Players’ are here, they play cleanup while incentivised to pay to play a game. They destroy the ‘Monsters’ that are just the small remnants that make it through the frontline.
But all of that isn’t the problem right now, the problem for this small NPC in the middle of nowhere of a starter village is that he is being camped by a griefer so hard it caused him major medical issues. This was very unexceptable to the system. Which caused the following error messages to appear…
[System stabilizing patient: initializing… Quote [“Hang in there!”] end Quote]
[Patient continuing to destabilize: initiating emergency system startup protocols: Quote [“We’re losing him! Help me here!”] end Quote]
[Initiating emergency system release on entity #0456998734598 A-C4 973476546645764 D4SA5SDFHWE452: Early system release engaged...]
[Administering emergency healing… emergency healing complete… automating system message initiating...]
[sYSteM: hELLO! WeLcOME TO THE SYSTEM: INITIALIZING... AUTOMATED MESSAGE INITIATED QUOTE [“You will feel a little pinch, nothing you haven’t been through before. Please bare with me and welcome to the system proper!”] END QUOTE]
Of course all the messages were automated. The “quoted text” was an attempt by the system to increase the interaction and response of species to stimuli. The system found out that creatures responded best if they thought that other creatures, in particular creatures that are friends and family, were giving encouragement. And so it created the [“Cheer up!”] protocol.
[SYSTEM: WELCOME TO VILLAGE #0456998734598 NEW PLAYER VILLAGER A-C4 973476546645764 WE HOPE YOU ENJOY YOUR GAMING EXPERIENCE!]
The man, and he was glad he was still a man, because he had been assigned as a woman a few times? Why did he know this? He didn’t remember this… He didn’t remember a lot. Like who he was or what he was doing here. Well he did, but it was foggy.
[208464 ESY 23.05 ESD SINCE EARTH’S INTEGRATION TO THE SYSTEM AND MULITERSE. CONVERT TO UISY/UISD? [YES/NO]]
The man looked at the system prompted floating in front of his face. He hadn’t the foggiest why that was there but he knew it was, why it was there, and what it was asking before it even asked. He had also clicked [NO] before it had even actually appeared. But his brain wanted to read the message so there it was, floating in front of his face.
An arrow wised past as he subconsciously dodged. “Fuck, this NPC isn’t supposed to do that! He’s too low level.” Exclaimed a voice that made the man extremely angry. “And what took it so long anyway? Did they finally give it a longer respawn time? Like that’s going to stop me, this is too much fun!” Said the voice.
The man stopped his musings, he had something to do at the moment. He slowly walked towards the [Ranger] that had been firing arrows at him.
“Oh, this might be getting interesting? I guess I can’t expect to fire arrows at something without activating it’s aggro.” Said the [Ranger] as it lined up another shot, that promptly missed again. The ranger realized that the man was getting a little too close in this small house and turned to run.
However it was already too late. The man simply appeared in the [Ranger]’s path and punched him across the face. This blew up his head into a pink mist. The mist and the body disappeared in a bright light leaving a skeleton that had a [LOOT? [YES/NO]] sign over it.
The man subconsciously clicked [YES] and went back to his musings. He knew where that little prick was going to appear. He knew what he had to do. And he knew he was going to do it. So he got out of his house and started walking. He didn’t get very far before he saw some kids surrounding another kid which he knew to be in a group with that [Ranger] kid.
“Come on guys, please stop! This isn’t fun anymore. Just let me finish my quest! It’s got a [Green] reward trinket! I need it! Please?!” Said the kid being surrounded.
The other kids just laughed and pushed him around again. Whenever he tried to use a skill they would cancel it. They would keep him in a [Critical: Low Health] state that wouldn’t allow him to do anything, but [Heal] him before he bled out.
The man appeared before the group of four kids and blew up their heads as well. Then for some unknown reason gave the kid some shining green item he didn’t even know he had or where it came from, it wasn’t in his storage, cuz that was a thing and a thing he remembered now. He then took a piece of dung from the kids inventory without asking. It was labeled [Dung for the Dung collector! Best dung?]. It was clearly not the best dung. Both the man, who didn’t want the dung in the first place, and some unkowable force agreed. However the man knew that if he did not take it, the kid would come back with more dung until he found the ‘[Perfect Dung! Just Smell It!]’.
For some reason he knew it was a stupid [Quest] the designers made up that made it the ‘perfect’ hidden quest, since it was to stupid for anybody to know about it, care about it, or complete it. And it was the kind of thing that pissed Jack off!
Oh! That was his name, ‘Jack’... Though he was also supposed to have a middle and a last name too that he didn’t remember.
[CRONO STASIS SYMPTOMS DETECTED: SYSTEM INTERVENTION NOT REQUIRED]
Somehow he knew that meant, “It’ll go away with time, don’t bother me unless you have a ‘real’ problem.” Jack shut off the prompt.
He kept walking down the path towards where he needed to go. When he got to town he met a drunkard who looked at him “Jack, shit!” *Patoo* The drunk exclaimed and spat where Jack was walking and turned around. However, Jack did not take offense. The man may have said such words, but that was because his [Rep] was terrible with that particular man in town. He was actually well liked. And Jack had seen into the man's eyes. Those weren’t so easy to control with the script, nor were the developers observant enough to make the nuanced control of a species they hadn’t dealt with before that perfect on some random villager in town.
Of course, it was the iconic ‘Drunkard’ character so they did find the time to give it some tlc. But Jack would not take to heart what the other man could not control. Somehow though, he knew that the man had a hidden quest. One that ran counter to Jack due to his low [Rep] with the man. Jack would look into it later, he had a rez point to raid!
He found the Penta group still sitting in the rez point. “Ha! The finally fixed it hu? Guess we’ll have to find a new NPC to camp. I bet all the ‘Dung Lover’s’ hidden quest givers are patched now.” Said the ranger. Jack remembered that he had been camping the most, but the rest had been camping him as well… for weeks!
“Ahh, look! He’s out there waiting for us. Better wait off the agro. BUt why did he come find us. Agro should have stopped after we died.” Said one of the penta.
“Whatever, look up the forums quick while we are back in town. See if you can find another NPC to camp. I haven’t had my fix yet man!” Said the ranger. The rest laughed with a “You druggy!” From one of the other four. And that’s when Jack stole one of their knives and stabbed them. He did it slow so they could understand what’s happening.
“Ahh, that fucker stabbed me! He can’t stab me! This is a safe zone! I’m safe...” Said the group in different variations on the same theme. Jack just waited for them to rez.
“Oh man! I’ve got double rez sickness now and… Ahh! God why is he still here!” Said the penta group as Jack stabbed them again.
“We just have to wait out his agro! Once he loses his agro we can just murder the fucker till we’re satisfied!” Said another, before he died.
Jack did not lose agro. If anything he gained agro as they kept talking. Of course, he couldn’t just go around murdering people in the middle of town without the guards showing up. Which kinda went like this.
“What seems to be the trouble here?” said the guard. He had anger in his eyes, but not for Jack.
He keeps...” said one of the penta. “Stabbing us!” Finished another. But the guard did not pay attention to the penta group.
“Just stabbing some fools, anything I can help you with?” Asked Jack.
“No, but do you mind if I help?” Said the guard. While he may not ‘remember’ It was still stuck in his memory about these fools molesting his hot wife back home. And while they might be NPCs the system did take care to keep things like that in order. So his ‘Wife’ was his real wife. Of course if somebody else was boinking your wife, even at someone else's expense and just part of a script, you would be pretty pissed. So it was under some pretty strict mandatory system protocols that they kept those things straight. That didn’t stop players from being assholes though.
This meant that he and all the other guards were more than happy to ‘help’...
… Just that they were helping Jack. Oh and Jack dropped all his [Jack’s Dung] on them. Watching them drown in [Jack’s Dung] was a good old time for Jack, the guards, and the entire town. These players had been a menace around here for a long time.