Chapter 1

“She’s a bitch.”

I turned around to face the person who uttered those words. Poker face, still pointing forwards. I rubbed the side of my lower lip. It was chapped. She looked at me and lowered her arm. Was she talking to me? I felt like she was waiting for a reply. I opened my mouth.`

“Right.”

She continued gazing at me, then stopped. I spoke up again.

“Do you know her?”

“Nope.”

I lowered an eyebrow.

“All right.”

There was a silence. That conversation didn’t go far.

“So you’re not gonna question me?” She said.

“Wasn’t planning to.”

“Huh okay.”

I pinched the back of my shirt and flapped it to cool off. The sun was harsh.

“You’re boring,” she scoffed.

“Probably.”

“Feisty one aren’tcha?”

I peered at her, confused.

“Sarcasm. I was being sarcastic.”

“Why are you talking to me?”

“Why not? It’s not like you’re doing anything here.” She swung her legs, playfully.

“I was looking at the ducks.”

“And I was looking at that bitch.”

I was at a loss of words.

“But you don’t know her.”

“And neither do you,” she retorted, “so you can’t say that I’m wrong. From my own judgement, she’s a bitch.”

“If you say so.”

Her legs came to a stop. She sighed.

“You really are no fun.”

I didn’t talk back. It took too much of my energy to defend myself. And to be fair, she wasn’t wrong. I wasn’t very fun.

Chatter from elsewhere grew prominent when I stopped paying attention to the person next to me. I inserted my hand through my collar, scratching my shoulder. I clearly needed a shower. The fish carried on with their swimming. The girl seated by the edge was intently looking at the fish as well.

“Hey, I need your attention.”

She spoke to me again.

“What is it?”

“What would happen if I pushed her off?”

“Umm, she’d fall into the lake.”

“Ah, a realist. I see.”

She got up, then patted her skirt clean with excessive hand gestures. She nodded to nobody in particular and approached me. No words, only a gaze. She backed away and stood behind the aforementioned girl. What was I watching? Without giving me time to think, she braced her arms behind the other’s back and thrusted forward. The girl fell into the lake.

A piercing scream cut through the air as fish hurriedly swam away. Intense water splashes broke the peaceful air, causing great commotion. Saddened by my inaction, I stood up, sighing, rubbing my neck. I hurried to check on the hopefully not drowning girl. Thankfully, the water was too shallow, even for a short person, to drown anyone.

“You better not push me off,” I said to the culprit. She shrugged and stepped back.

I crouched down to get closer, slightly drenching my knee.

“Do you need help?” I reach my hand out.

Gasping for air, she gripped my hand tightly.

“Th-thanks,” the girl panted, soaked through and through.

I set her down on the platform and stood up a bit, hands on my knees. I looked around. Some people stopped to look at us; those who didn’t went on their way. The girl who pushed her had a grin on her face.

A puddle formed under where she sat. Her hair was dripping wet; her clothes as well. Realizing the transparency of her shirt, I averted my eyes.

“Here, cover yourself with this.” I handed her my jacket.

She lifted her head, hair covering most of her face, and smiled.

“Thanks again.” She took it.

I took her hand and helped her up.

“Should I, uhh…” I didn’t know how to phrase what I wanted to say. I motioned my hand away, towards the park exit. Fortunately she understood.

This content has been unlawfully taken from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere.

“No no. I can go on my own. Thanks again.” She tightened my jacket around her chest.

She left, without saying anything else, without looking back. She was probably embarrassed, as was I. Too many people were watching. I didn’t know what made me do what I did, but I did it for some reason.

Someone’s hand landed on my shoulder.

“A lady’s man aren’tcha.”

“Umm.”

“And I thought you were the antisocial type, surprising.” She shook her head as if disappointed while putting more weight on my shoulder, basically leaning on me. Being on the edge of falling too, I nudged her off.

“You didn’t need to do that,” I said, less angry than I thought I’d be.

“But wasn’t it interesting? I did what you thought of doing.”

“You were the only one thinking that.”

“Aw come on now, no need to be modest.”

“I’m not.”

I tried to get away from the side of the platform. The girl did the same, lest I were to be a little vindictive.

“Stop being so negative. Okay okay. At least I proved your point.”

“What point?”

I moved out of the way once again to not block people’s paths. The girl once again followed suit.

“You said that she’d fall into the lake if I pushed her,” she stated.

“What you did was still unnecessary.”

“Eh, my life is unnecessary. Therefore, anything I do is unnecessary.”

I looked her in the eyes. She stared back with full conviction. If she were being genuine, which she seemed to be, that’d be sort of tragic. But her whole aura betrayed her thoughts, so I really didn’t know.

“Well, I guess I’ll be leaving now,” I said.

“See ya.” She surprisingly left me alone.

I followed her with my gaze. She sat back down on the bench and stretched her arms above her head. She no longer payed attention to me, as if nothing had happened. Everyone around were doing their own respective thing. I took a quick glance at her one last time. She was staring into nothingness, unsmiling. Her eyes that glowed with satisfaction when she spoke to me then were now empty. A void filled me. She was a total stranger. I was a total stranger to her. I didn’t know who she was. Yet, there was something bothering me about her now, without mentioning what she did earlier.

The cobblestone ground was one shade darker from where the other girl came up from out of the lake. Nobody questioned it further. The other girl to which I didn’t know the name—and somewhat ignored— still sat there on the bench, hair strands floating with the breeze. The sun still shone. The fish kept swimming. Nothing happened here. I rubbed my temple. How tiresome.

----------------------------------------

I flipped a towel over my shoulder as I finished drying myself off and putting on clothes. My feet left moisture prints wherever I went and soon disappeared once I entered the living room. My sister was there, back facing me, cooking something up on the kitchen counter. I dropped the towel on the edge of the nearest sofa. Trudging around her to see what she was doing, I then plopped down on a chair. Strangely, she wasn’t wearing baggy, loose clothes like she usually does. She was dressed properly, from head to toe, except maybe her unironed collar and pink socks. Maybe I should’ve helped her iron the shirt. I nudged the chair slightly to the left to centre myself with the table’s legs.

“Here, I finished cooking supper,” my sister said, bringing two plates to the table.

“Thanks.”

I took the plate from her. Glancing at her hands, I noticed the cuffs of her sleeves buttoned in the wrong places.

“Are you going for a job interview today?” I asked.

“Ha ha… yeah. I saw a flyer up at the grocery store last week.”

“Will you be okay this time?”

She covered her eyes and pressed her elbows on the table.

“Uhh… I don’t know… I really hope I don’t mess it up.”

I gulped down a spoonful of rice.

“Well, it’s been a while. I hope you’re no longer anxious about it.”

“Ha ha… I’ll try my best, I’ll try my best. *Hmmf…haaa…*” She took a deep breath and squeezed the sides of her head with her fists.

“Good luck.”

We both continued eating after that conversation. The only sound that could be heard was the clinking of our spoons on china plates. The food my sister made was always surprisingly good, even when done on a whim like today. I guess those are the perks of not having a job for years. You get to learn how to work around the house from all the free time.

Five years ago, my sister and I moved into this apartment after our parents’ divorce. Our mother left the household once it was official and I’ve never seen her since. She left us. She left the family, putting everything in our father’s hands. I never knew who was at fault for the divorce, but our father was always more sympathetic towards us than her, so I’d say it was her. The following weeks weren’t the best for our father’s mental state, but he managed to keep what was left of the family together. He didn’t want to make any mistakes. He needed time alone. That’s why we’ve been living here. Five years seems like enough time to forget someone, but he never faltered in showing that he was still there for us, especially by paying our rent—for five years. He also kept sending witty letters our way, making my sister smile every time she reads them.

Neither of us worked. I never felt the need to work for the moment, but I could start looking. My sister, however, is a special case. She has extreme anxiety during job interviews and even during the short times she has worked, to the point where she would feel actual physical backlash : fainting, severe fatigue, vomiting, and the list goes on. It has affected her so much that she shut herself at home, living like a hermit. It always feels bad to know that she truly wants to work but can’t, especially for herself. She often feels really depressed about her living situation. She tries hard, replacing her thoughts with housework, but her mental health is still down in the dumps. I’ve tried helping her by working around the house too, though that’s about all I can do for now.

Not conversing with my sister while eating made me remember the weird predicament I found myself in at the park. Usually my days are quite boring, but today was… odd. My eyebrows lowered in thought. My sister saw my face and mimicked my questioned look.

“Is it normal for girls to push others into water?” I asked.

“What?”

“Uhh, do girls do that?”

“…No? I mean, I don’t think so? Did something happen?”

Her reaction made me realize how absurd my question was.

“A girl at the park pushed another girl into the lake.”

“Uhh… I don’t think girls do that. Maybe it’s a trend that I don’t know of? I’m not really up to date.”

“Right.”

“Is there more context?”

I thought a bit.

“I honestly don’t know.”

“Welp. Do you know any of them?”

“No.”

“Huh.” My sister nodded.

“But I still think I was sort of responsible for the fallen girl,” I added.

“Why’s that?”

“ I think I led to the whole thing.”

“And… why’s that?”

“I’m not quite sure,” I said, eating my last spoonful, “the girl talked to me before doing it.”

“Which girl talked to you?”

“The one who pushed.”

“Uh huh…”

“yeah…”

She eyed me, waiting for me to continue.

“Yeah, I don’t know. I guess it doesn’t matter.”

“All right. Well that sure sounds like a lot happened today.”

“I guess so.”

I arranged the plates carefully into the sink as my sister cleaned the table. From a glance, I could see that her hand was trembling. The rag still wiped well, unperturbed by the tremble, but I was quite sure she wasn’t unperturbed at all.

“You’ll do fine. Just focus okay? You can do it,” I reassured.

She raised her head, lips clenching, quivering.

“Yes, yes. I know. Thanks… Definitely. Hah…”

Laughing was usually a sign of her anxiety. It was an obvious tell, making it easier to know when to cheer her up—not that I was any good at it.

“Well, I should go now,” she uttered.

“Sure. I’ll go do the laundry.”

“All right. Use the blue detergent.”

“Okay.”

She put her shoes on, with a bit of difficulty. I noticed her cuffs once again while she pulled her shoe up.

“Oh and your cuffs are buttoned wrong.”

“Ah. Silly me. Thanks. All right, see you later…”

I waved goodbye.

Kneeling on the bathroom floor, I loaded the laundry machine with what you’d expect it to be loaded with. After adding the detergent, I went to the sink to clean my hands. I looked over to the towel rack to find it empty. I forgot the towel somewhere. I wiped my hands on my shirt as I entered the kitchen once again. Chairs, table, kitchen counter. Nothing. Couch. A white thing protruded into my vision. There it was. I put the towel back on the rack.

Housework done, it was now time to do more work at home—homework. I pulled my rolling chair back to seat myself. I unzipped my bag and took out all the books that I needed. The room was a bit gloomy, but that’s what lights were for. My bedroom was now filled with bright light, too bright in fact. Sometimes living in an electric-heavy world causes idleness and addiction. To that, I say it was absolutely my case. I flicked the light switch off and opted for a more natural lighting. I shoved the curtains to the side, encroaching the side of my bed mattress.

Light beamed through with intensity. The view from outside grew vast. The sun was still as lively as ever despite the start of its descent. From this height, everything seemed different. I couldn’t discern anything from a quick glance. I took a deep breath and carried on with my work.

I checked the clock hanging on the wall and it showed 8. Some hours well spent I’d say. I twirled my pencil. The page I was at approached its end. I set down my pencil. My homework was complete. I gave a small kick at the wall and my chair flew back with the familiar sound of its wheels. I followed the chair’s rotating trajectory since I was still sitting on it. Stretching my arms, I put my feet down and walked away, leaving the room in my wake.

Heavy thuds resonated through the walls. Nobody else was in the apartment, so I assumed it came from outside. As I was about to sit down on the couch, I heard the frantic jingle of keys at my doorstep. Was my sister back? I approached the entryway and the door suddenly flipped open. The face of someone on the verge of dying met my gaze. That face belonged to my sister. I looked blankly at her, not knowing what to say. She finally removed her shoes and pushed by me without a greeting. The bathroom door closed. A mangled sound that I hadn’t heard for quite some time now reached my ears. A wave of sadness dropped over me.