Hi! There let me introduce myself first my name is Rue Griselle Han 1st daughter and 3rd child out of my 4 siblings, I have 2 older brothers named Ray and Rey, 1 little brother named Roi and 1 little sister named Ryl well our parents named us our first name starting with a letter R with only 3 letters (You guess it, they really sucks thinking good names for us). My fathers name is Constantine Fiel Han while my mothers name is Rita Griselle Han.

Well I don't need to describe our appearance cause I'm too lazy to tell you. Just imagine were just your typical normal family with black hair and brown eyes, yep you guest right were just asian. (Pretty average and boring)

I gain conscious of my surrounding when I age 6. It's like your life since birth to age 5 are set automatically without us knowing. When I turn grade 6 I learn about manga and games  my brother ray help me open up a new world about anime which inspire me to draw things while my brother rey teach me music mustly about drums well I pretty suck at it because one time when I need to perform solo double drum in front of so many people I got so nervous I practically jump of the stage and run my ass off, ditching my debut Oh! Man when my coach see me all hell set loose. He cuss me all day until the evening, I even think he yell at me all the bad words he could think of I could even see his vein bulging out in his head. I was so doomed, my reputation is tarnish people laugh at me for being a chicken, stupid, coward, idiot etc. So I immerse myself to drawing and reading to comfort myself, I'm actually pretty good at it in which I won some competition concerning about drawing and painting.

At first my parents support me when it comes to drawing because it helps ease out my anxiety, they're not against it because I compensate it with good grades at school but as I grow up I wanted to be an artist. But instead I meet their hesitant face they told me being an artist can't help me earn money, they suggest I should take IT (Information Technology) for it is currently a demand job in work so I followed their request. I took the IT course for 4 years I studied it one thing I learn I really suck at programming, I only learn the basic animation which I like a little. The miracle thing happened in my whole life is HOW THE FUCK! DID I GRADUATE IN IT?! WHEN IN FACT I SUCK AT IT! So even if I graduated with flying colors in IT which I hate my choice or their choice.

When it comes to finding a job I wanted to go abroad in search for a better salary but instead my parents said it's dangeruos why find job in another country if you can just find a job here. So I followed them I find a job in our country away from our home so I just need to find apartment to stay but again they said your away from home you should just find a job that is near home which is just a 15 minute walk or riding by a vehicle. Like what the hell! I felt like they don't want me going out of the house when I have friends to go out to have fun they hinder me hanging out with my friends they will just say why not hangout with your family.

This narrative has been unlawfully taken from Royal Road. If you see it on Amazon, please report it.

So just like that I become so dependent on them that I give up in finding a job, which I will never like because it's not my choice in the first place. So I just stay at home nothing to do lazing around, reading novels, manga and such it's like I drown myself in reading to escape my predicament. They yell at me everyday saying why did you not find a job! Your just lazing around reading novels which are nonsense. They said it could not help me earn money to feed myself, they make me remind about my promises that I make when I'm still young about earning money and helping the family they even compare me with my 2 eldest brothers atleast they find a job even though its just a low income. They even complain why did they have a useless child in the first place.

I felt numb to their bickering.... I don't know what to do with my life..... I'm pathetic, useless, and worthless why the heck I'm alive in the first place.... I'm just a piece of shit with nothing to do.... I even thought of suicide every single day...

ONLY THE NOVELS & MANGA heals me when I read them I felt like I'm the main charater in the stories I've read (I SO WISH), because everytime the main charater in the story they started being someone useless when infact they're worth a thousand diamonds covered in dirt a little polish then it shines like bright as the sun in the blue sky which people admire afar. But when the stories came to an end so does my imagination pulling me back to the cruel reality, me being a worthless person with nothing to do.

Why can't I be like them, I wish I were them but my wishes never came. Time passes, a minute turn to hours then a day turn to weeks, months and years...

**************************************************************************************************************

In the dark corner of the room stood a lady in white dress looking stressed and depressed, sulking her life out. (Well actually she look like the lady in the ring who came out from the tv)

"I wish, I could die. Maybe then in the next life, I could do what I want and be who I wanted to be." - Rue 

As tears fell down her face like waterfalls, she grabs the knife and pointed at her throat. She slowly press the knife to her throat and blood spill she winch and stop she throws the knife away.

"Hahaha! Pathetic, I'm pathetic I can't even kill myself. Ha ha ha... I'm so afraid" - Rue

tears still streaming down her face, she trembles hiding beneath the dark corner of the room. 

...........

.........

.......

......

....

...

..

STAY TUNED TO THE NEXT CHAPTER !!! 🤗🤗🤗

Thank you! For reading this. I will try my best to update this story ✍✍✍. FIGHTING !!! 💪💪💪 

God bless you all !!! 😇😇😇