Chapter 48: True Feelings

It was almost eight in the evening when Emily and Naz returned to the Stewarts’ residence. Their search for Avegaille was not successful at all. It was getting pretty late, in which Emily called her parents to pick her up, with the phone Jane lent her. Naz had already left and walked back home, since her house was just a couple blocks away. Emily’s mother arrived at the residence by car and picked up her daughter. After seeing Emily off, both Jane and Madeline headed back inside the house. The two of them got inside the living room and sat down on the sofa. Madeline glanced at the television, which was still turned on with its volume set to low, and then, turned to Jane.

“If you want, I could help them with the search.”

Jane meekly lowered down her hand and sighed. Then, she shook her head and turned to Madeline, looking all dejected. “I really don’t want to keep bothering you with all this…”

“Don’t say that! This is something I chose to do myself. I want to help you,” Madeline said softly and quickly hugged her tightly.

“Thanks…” Jane whispered and started whimpering.

Just then, Madeline heard some footsteps getting louder and she quickly released Jane from her hug. She got up from her seat and walked towards the doorway, leading to the hallway. From where she was standing, she saw Mrs. Stewart standing to her right. She meekly waved her hand at her.

“Oh! Aren’t you one of Jane’s friends?” Mrs. Stewart asked curiously. “It’s quite late now, aren’t your parents worried that you’re not back home yet?”

“Ah, I already called them earlier and told them I’ll be staying here for a while,” Madeline replied and grinned nervously. “Also, um, Jane was waiting for you to return as well.”

“Right, I’m sure she’s still busy watching the television. I’ll be in my room upstairs if you girls need anything.”

After that, Mrs. Stewart waved her hand back at Madeline and walked upstairs, heading to her room. Jane stepped out of the living room just right after her mother was out of sight.

“Are you going out now to look for your little sister? I’ll come with you,” Madeline insisted as she clenched her fists. “I won’t take ‘no’ for an answer.”

“Sure, you can come. The sooner we find her, the lesser problems I’ll have with Mom if ever she finds out about what happened.” Jane grabbed Madeline’s arm and pulled her along with her, until both of them got outside the house.

.-.-.-.-.-

The snow was lightly falling down when Phil arrived at the riverbank. It was late at night as well, that it was hard for him to see what was up ahead. He kept walking by the grassy area, which was now covered with snow, of the riverbank until he spotted a large tree. Without any hesitation, he quickly ran closer to it and noticed someone sitting down by the tree, leaning their back against the trunk. It was none other than Avegaille. Snow was piling up on her head and on some parts of her body.

“Ah! I finally found you!” Phil exclaimed as he crouched down next to Avegaille and held her arm. Then, he started brushing off the snow that was piling up on her head. “Everyone’s been looking all over for you!”

“Phil?” Avegaille slowly turned her to him, with her eyes wide open. She noticed the bandages that were on his face and stared at him hesitantly. “Why… but…”

“Come on, let’s go back together.” Phil stood up from his spot and extended his hand towards her.

Avegaille just shook her head and turned away from him. Then, she curled up like a ball, and pressed her face against her thighs. Then, she started whimpering, however Phil couldn’t understand it as it was all muffled. He sat down next to her and started stroking her head gently.

“It’s okay, I’ll stay here with you until you’re ready to tell me what’s bothering you…” He leaned his back against the tree trunk and gazed at the night sky above.

It took almost half an hour before Avegaille calmed down. She slowly lifted up her head and took off her glasses. Then, she wiped the tears off her face with the sleeve of the jacket she was wearing. Next, she put back the glasses on her face and slowly turned to Phil.

“Sorry… you got involved in something like this…” Avegaille muttered and lowered down her head. “I just wanted to find a place where I could think, really.”

“Ah, is that so?” Phil furrowed his eyebrows, still unsatisfied with her answer. With the things that had happened for the past few days, he already knew what was bothering her. “I mean, you don’t have to hide it. I’ll still be your friend despite what you have to tell me. That won’t change.”

Avegaille clenched her fists and turned away from him. Her body was shivering from being outside in the cold for so long. She tucked her hands in the pockets of her jacket, took a deep breath and exhaled afterwards.

“You really know me too well… you see, the truth is… I just can’t stand this feeling anymore. The feeling of not knowing what to do anymore in this situation…”

“Well… would you believe me if I tell you what is really happening right now?” Phil asked nonchalantly. As soon as Avegaille turned her head back to him, he felt that he was getting closer at understanding what was bothering her.

.-.-.-.-.-

“Finally, we’re back at where we started.” Elizabeth sighed with relief upon seeing the public park in front of her. There were mostly adults walking around the park, as most of the kids had already gone home by now. She spotted a couple by the bench making out and immediately looked away.

Nicole May stared down at the mobile phone she was holding with her hand. The battery in it finally ran out of charge. She had used it as a flashlight to light up their path until they reached the main area of the park. Despite how late it was, the main park was very well lit. Earlier, before they got back, she had sent a message to her mother that she would be coming home late, so that was the least of her problems. Then, she placed the now useless mobile phone back inside her shoulder bag.

“Man, it’s getting really late, Mom’s probably worried by now but I’ll deal with that later,” Elizabeth muttered to herself. Then, she turned to Nicole May, who was still spacing out while her eyes were furrowed. “Are you okay over there?”

“Huh?” Nicole May jerked up her head and turned to Elizabeth. “Yeah, I’m okay. I’m just thinking where Avegaille would go at a time like this…”

“Let’s see... I remembered another place she goes to whenever she wants to clear her head. It’s a nice spot by the riverbank.” Elizabeth pointed to the direction where the riverbank was. “From here, it will take quite some time before we get there though.”

“The riverbank? She’s not thinking of doing something crazy there, is she?” Nicole May asked in dismay.

“I doubt she would go that far, most of the time we always see her sitting under a tree, staring at the river. She’s afraid of the water, after all,” Elizabeth responded nonchalantly and shrugged.

“Huh? What’s that supposed to mean?” Nicole May asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Exactly what I just said. You’ll never see her jump in a pool, or any body of water, for that matter. Showers are fine with her, from what she told me.” Then, Elizabeth folded her arms across her chest and sighed. “Oh right, from what she told me, her irrational fear of water was due to what happened at the beach when she was still very young.”

“That’s… erm, nevermind. Let’s just go to that riverbank you’re mentioning right now,” Nicole May muttered exasperatedly and slowly shook her head.

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“Sure, just follow me.” Elizabeth started walking to the direction where the riverbank was and Nicole May hastily followed behind her.

.-.-.-.-.-

“What should I do now? It’s all my fault that everything ended up like this…” Avegaille pressed her face against her thighs while she was still sitting on the ground.

“Ah, don’t say that! I mean, the fact that everyone’s looking for you means they’re all concerned about you and want to help you,” Phil rebutted and he started stroking Avegaille’s hair with his hand, trying to calm her down. “You don’t want them worrying about you too much, now do you?”

The night sky was slowly covered by the passing clouds, and in return, made everything surrounding the two of them much darker. Phil tried squinting his eyes but it made his view worse. He looked up again at the sky and watched the clouds slowly drift away, until he could see the moon and stars once more. Eventually, the snow had stopped falling down on them.

Then, Avegaille lifted up her head and sighed wearily. “No, that wouldn’t be very good at all…”

“Okay, so shall we get going?” Phil smiled sheepishly at her, extending his hand towards her.

“No, not yet… I want to tell you something first. It wouldn’t be fair for you if I keep hiding this from you forever.” Avegaille clenched her fists and looked straight at Phil’s eyes.

“Uh, sure... what is it?”

“The truth is, I feel like there’s someone else that I really like now… and... it’s not you.”

Phil snorted and immediately covered his mouth with his hand. Meanwhile, Avegaille pouted at him, knowing that he wasn’t taking her seriously at all.

“This isn’t funny, you know!” Avegaille whined out. She pushed Phil further away from her until he fell down on his side.

“Sorry, sorry. I mean, I already know who you’re talking about.” Phil sat up from the ground and leaned his back on the trunk behind him. “Even if you didn’t tell me, it’s very obvious to who it is.”

“Really?” Avegaille stared at him blankly.

“Yeah, of course. You’re very attached to her ever since you met her again. It’s obvious that you really like Nicole May,” Phil explained and chuckled softly. “I know she can be unbearable sometimes, especially when I try to talk to you while she’s around... but at the same time, I finally get it now. You guys are really meant for each other. I don’t have any hard feelings over this... I mean, as long as we’re still friends and all and she won’t take that away. Anyway, you really shouldn’t keep her worried like this… we should get back.”

“No way, not yet. I need your help on something… that is, if you don’t mind…” Avegaille muttered and slowly turned away from him. “I mean, you said we’re still friends, right?”

“I did say that, yeah. So, what is it this time?” Phil asked curiously.

“Well, what should I tell Nicole May? Like, you know, once I see her again… I just don’t know where to start…” Avegaille started fidgeting her fingers and was too nervous to even continue.

“The most boring response that I would say would be… to just tell her what you really feel about her.” Phil stood up from the ground and immediately went in front of Avegaille. Next, he grabbed both of her hands and pulled her up, until she was standing as well. “I mean, you’ve been getting along with her really well, what’s holding you back now?”

“I’m just scared… I mean, what if she doesn’t like me anymore or hates me now after what just happened now… and all those times where I never really understood what she really wanted from me in return…” Avegaille closed her eyes and clenched her fists tightly.

Meanwhile, Phil’s eyes widened upon recognizing the two figures that were approaching closer to them. Both Nicole May and Elizabeth were now standing behind Avegaille. He started waving his hands frantically at them and held up his index finger to his mouth, trying to keep them to stay quiet. Elizabeth just shrugged while Nicole May raised an eyebrow at him.

“I really, really love Nicole May now but… what if... that’s not the same thing she feels towards me in return?” Avegaille slowly opened her eyes and sighed loudly. “What if this is all my imagination and nothing more than a delusion… There’s no way she would like me more than as a friend, would she?”

“It’s not a delusion or just your imagination,” Nicole May abruptly rebutted in return.

“Eeeh?!” Avegaille immediately turned around and saw Nicole May now standing in front of her. Then, her cheeks started flushing bright red. “S-Since when did you get here?”

Both Elizabeth and Phil slowly nodded at each other and quietly walked away from the two of them, finding a spot closeby, just enough to see what was happening. They didn’t want to get in the way of what they thought was a confession going on.

“Just a couple minutes ago…” Nicole May replied apathetically and slowly turned her head away from her.

“T-That means… you just heard what I said earlier, didn’t you?”

“Maybe… maybe not.”

“Hey now!” Avegaille raised both her arms, about to grab on Nicole May’s shoulder but all of a sudden, Nicole May stepped closer towards her and hugged her tightly. She lowered her arms and hugged her back in return.

“I was really worried, you know. Please don’t disappear like that again... I don’t want to lose you anymore!” Then, Nicole May pressed her face against Avegaille’s chest and started whimpering.

“I… I’m sorry... It won’t happen again… Please don’t cry…”

Nicole May lifted her face off Avegaille’s chest, released her from her hug and then, stared at her. There were still some tears on the side of her eyes, which she wiped them off immediately with her hand.

“Oh yeah, to answer your question earlier… I do like you... more than just a friend…” Nicole May murmured and lowered her head, trying to hide her flustered face.

“Really? Well… um… I’m happy to hear that… that we’re on the same page… and all...” Avegaille muttered nervously, slowly stepping back and turning her head away from her. Her face started turning red again. “Um, I really think we should get back now… it’s getting really late and all.”

“Well, you started this, so you better lead the way back,” Nicole May rebutted. She lifted up her head and pursed her lips at her.

“That won’t be a problem for me.” Avegaille quickly grabbed Nicole May’s hand and held it tightly. She felt how cold it was, since neither one of them was wearing any gloves. Then, she looked up at the sky and saw how bright the moon was shining. “It’s been a while since I last saw the sky like that…”

“Really?” Nicole May also gazed up at the sky, admiring the bright moon and the stars surrounding it. Then, she turned back to Avegaille and just kept gazing at her, admiring the profile view in front of her. “You know, there’s also something else I haven’t seen in a while…”

“Huh? What’s that?” Avegaille quickly turned to her, furrowing her eyebrows.

“That right there. The expression you’re making right now. I missed that,” Nicole May remarked and started giggling.

“Eh? You’re just making fun of me now, aren’t you?” Avegaille puffed her cheeks and pouted at her.

Nicole May shook her head while trying to control her laughter. Eventually, she stopped and smiled at her. She gently stroked Avegaille’s head with her other hand. “You said you’d lead the way, right? Come on, we’ll both get in trouble the longer we stay here.”

“You’re just trying to change the topic now, aren’t you?”

“There’s that and there’s also the fact that my Mom will be very mad for sure once I get back home,” Nicole May replied wearily and sighed as she slowly shook her head.

.-.-.-.-.-

“Shouldn’t we get going as well?” Phil asked upon seeing the two girls leave the spot by the large tree.

“Well, yeah, I guess but I thought... I would use this time now to properly apologize for what I did to you... just a few days ago…” Elizabeth muttered nervously and slowly turned away from him.

As soon as Avegaille and Nicole May were both out of their sight, Phil stepped closer to Elizabeth and held on her shoulders. Then, he grinned at her.

“It’s fine Liz, don’t worry about it,” Phil said and chuckled a bit. Then, his gaze went off elsewhere and looked up at the sky. “Actually, that felt really good, being hit like that… you can do that again to me if ever you need to vent out or something…”

“You really haven’t changed in regards to that, huh?” Elizabeth slowly shook her head and sighed exasperatedly. She grabbed his wrists and pulled his hands off her shoulders. “That aside, I’ll be honest… you’re really the only one that I could ever talk to about these kinds of things, so… thanks.”

“Anything for you,” Phil said happily and smiled softly at her. “I’ll always be more than happy to hear anything that’s bothering you.”

While the two of them continued staring at each other, two figures from a distance were getting closer to them. Phil heard the rustling of the grass and immediately turned his attention to where the sound was coming from. He immediately recognized the figures from the distance and frantically waved his hand up at them. Elizabeth also turned to the direction where Phil was looking and saw Jane and Madeline approaching them.

“So, did you guys find that little shrimp?” Jane asked while trying to catch her breath.

“We did but… Avegaille and Nicole May just left together…” Elizabeth replied and pointed to the direction where they walked off, which was the opposite side from where Jane and Madeline came from. “I’m not sure exactly where they’re going though…”

“Shall we go after them?” Madeline piqued in.

“No, there’s no need. As long as that little shrimp is with Nicole May, she’ll be fine…” Jane muttered and folded her arms across her chest.

“Oh? Have you finally accepted the fact that your little sister is already ahead of you in this whole relationship thing?” Madeline teased. Then, she quickly went behind Jane and hugged her. “You know I’m still waiting for your answer…”

“Madeline, stop, please!” Jane pleaded while struggling to get off her hug. “Also, I’m not competing with the shrimp when it comes to this!”

Both Elizabeth and Phil were just staring at them blankly, not knowing what to say next. Jane continued to struggle and tried to break free but Madeline’s grip was too strong. Eventually, Madeline released Jane from her hug and started laughing.

“You’re really cute when you’re flustered like that, I’ll say,” Madeline teased upon noticing how red Jane’s cheeks were.

“Geez, you never give up, don’t you?” Jane muttered bitterly and slowly shook her head, out of exasperation. The redness of her cheeks still wouldn’t go away, which made her turn away from everyone. “Well… you know my answer is still going to be a ‘no’ here…”

“Aww, well… I still won’t give up either way!” Madeline exclaimed and clenched her fists. “Just you wait Jane! One day… I’ll definitely get you to answer me for sure!”

“We’ll see about that…” Jane murmured to herself and sighed wearily. “Yeah… that’s not gonna happen at all…”