Gordon Sheeply was a famous chef who, up until very recently, was running a successful TV show. Unfortunately, it had been cancelled by HOBO due to “Excessive profanity”. Those babies. He had little to no money, and his monthly income amounted to how much he could find digging around on his couch. His pet triceratops Simon (courtesy of the iDino kit from Apple) was on a diet of iCaviar and iTruffles. Both were wildly expensive and sold only by the evil interdimensional corporation Apple. So Gordon had set out to find a job. As he left his penthouse flat on the earthward side of New Tokyo, Venus, he had taken a deep breath and went job hunting. On the window of an old laundromat was a deep purple flyer. On it were the words “We want you!” under which was drawn a chimpanzee in a spacesuit holding a ray gun. On the side in small print was a note, claiming the picture depicted Harambe, space chimp extraordinaire. But what drew Gordon’s attention wasn’t the chimp or the blatant rip-off of Uncle Sam, but the large sum listed at the bottom. 30M Euroyen. The was quite a large sum and it was listed as the monthly salary. All Gordon needed to do was to head to their office, take a few tests, and start enjoying life in the 1%. So Gordon had plugged the coordinates into his iPhone 1269 Ultra Max Pro Omega Trinity Air SE and off he went. A short mugging later he was standing in front of a truly gigantic office building, with an extra 5$ in his pocket. The mugger had stopped him in a dark alley somewhere off the main road, and when he saw how many flies flew out of Gordon’s wallet, he had handed Gordon 5$ and said “You need it more than I do.”. With a deep breath, Gordon swung open the great glass doors. 

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