Chapter 28: Dilemma [STAR]

"Are you seriously just gonna give him up?" asked Olivia. She’s one of my friend from the Viking guild.

"I wouldn't had given up on him even if he was in a relationship with that elf girl. He looks so yummy," said Elia. She is my other friend from the Elemental guild.

"Ladies, I think we should be giving her some better advice instead," answered Clara. My good friend from the same guild as me.

I met up with my friends after we came back from the City of Underwater Marrydia. The journey back was thankfully much safer than the journey heading there. I will forever have nightmares on that.

I was complaining to them that Lily was sticking to Onii-chan like a bee to a flower, the moment they met back together. It was like they were long lost lovers or something. I won't lie, I was absolutely jealous of Lily despite never feeling this way before. Perhaps this was due to him never looking at someone this romantically ever since I knew him. But after I calming myself, I came to realised that Onii-chan will never look at me the same way. Even when I tried my best to get his attention, he just never showed any interest whatsoever.

After getting to know Lily a little more, I think I can make my peace if they actually started dating. I can be happy for them. She is quite matured and she genuinely cares about Onii-chan. We talked about him when we stayed in the same room back in the tavern. She told me directly that she likes Zen and wishes to go out with him. After coming so close to death, she no longer want to deny her own feelings and lie to herself anymore.

As she was honest with her answer, I gave her mine as well. I told her that I love Onii-chan. Not as a brother but as a love interest. However, I told her that I am aware that Onii-chan does not see me that way. I wished Lily all the best that if he agreed to go out with her then I won't stand in their way.

Lily came over to my side and sat on my bed. I genuinely wasn’t expecting her to hug me. She said that both of us should give it our all and let him know of our feelings at the very least. Should either of us win, the other should concede. She told me that if they really did ended up dating, then I can start calling her Lily Onee-chan as she will be part of our family. She was already giving off an elder sister vibe right now. I told her that I'll consider it.

I won't lie, I am partly excited to have an elder sister to call my own. To have an elder brother and sister, it certainly makes me happy. But I know deep down that my heart will be broken if not shattered to pieces. I never even realised when I started to have feelings for Onii-chan. When we first met, he was this weirdo who bought me out of nowhere and asked me to stay with him. I was horrified at the thought of all the horrible things that this man would be doing to me when I already at my lowest point.

But as it turned out, he was the complete opposite of what I imagined in my head. He was kind, caring and loving. He gave me a name and lots of head pets which he exploits it often to calm me down even when I don’t want to. He even provided me a personal room of my own and made sure to give me space to acclimate myself. Without even knowing it, I fell in love with him and his warm smiles. Come to think of it, both Lily and I looked up to Zen like some hero who saved us. I wonder if there are any other girls who looked at him the same way as we do.

"I’ll say, you should start seducing him before they even start dating, Rose," answered Olivia.

"What?! No way! My body isn't even that sexy to seduce him anyway. Have you seen my rival? Her body is so ridiculously voluptuous that even I shrink at the sight," I explained to all of them.

"Rose— can you even bear the thought of your brother dating another woman?" asked Clara. She’s always the levelheaded person of our group. I can always count on her to provide me with the best advices.

"I— really don't have the answer for that. On one hand, I am certain that I would devastated. But on the other, it’s not like it’s the end of the world. I would be getting an elder sister to call my own," I explained.

"Stop thinking about that, Rose. This is war between two tigress on who gets the mushroom. You have to fight for him, Rose!" said Elia.

"Mushroom?" I stared at her with a confused look.

"Oh my sweet summers child," said Elia as she gave me a hug.

"Look— all I can say is, I'll be fine if Onii-chan started dating Lily. He always had his fetish for female elves anyway. The amount of times he showed his perverted face whenever he looked at a female elf was uncountable. How am I going to compete with that in the first place? Better to have him date Lily than some random elf, in my opinion," I explained to all of them.

"Think about yourself for once, Rose. Give yourself a chance. Test your luck, and if it doesn't work out, then concede and continue to be his little sister," explained Clara.

"But I had already tried numerous times and none of it worked out before. What’s the point of trying even further?" I sighed as I vented my frustration.

"Mm-mm. You haven’t tried any of our suggestions yet. I say, you try all of our suggestions first before thinking about conceding. How about that?" asked Olivia.

"Uh— ok, I guess?" I answered. Why did I even say yes to that.

***

I have a date with Lily today. Felt so surreal that I’m finally meeting up with her after five years. I had prepared my best looking clothes and is now waiting for time to pass. I know very well that I’m feeling restless as I’m literally walking around blindly. I screamed when Rose suddenly opened the main door. I didn’t even realised that she was coming over today.

"Onii-chan, why are you acting so nervous?" asked Rose.

"Oh, I'm just heading out later. Nothing to worry about," I tried to maintain my cool.

Rose just nodded with a "Ooo" expression. Did she figured it out? It is really hard to keep things a secret from Rose. The only reason I was able to keep my gauntlets a secret was because I kept it hidden in my room chest and never talked about it.

She started boiling some hot water and took out some flower petals from her bag. That's odd, she usually never bring anything whenever she visits me. There was no reason to when she still have some of her clothings and necessities here. Is she planning to stay over or something? Not that she can't stay but I didn't feel like explaining to her that I’m going out on a date with Lily later.

She went into her room along with her bag. I need to stop narrating to myself on whatever she’s doing and just calm the hell down. Ok, just relax yourself. There is still a couple of hours before the meet-up time. Let's just, read something or do some alchemy. No, if I were to do alchemy with such distracted thoughts, I will only end up wasting those ingredients. Let's just sit down and meditate then.

I heard Rose coming out of her room and proceeded to the kitchen. I continued to keep my eyes closed and did some meditation all the while hoping that Kirin doesn’t suddenly appear in my mind. After some time, I heard Rose walking closer I spoke to me.

"Onii-chan, have some tea," she said.

I opened my eyes and wanted to take the cup and saucer from her. Hiee! What the hell is she wearing?! Is that— a negligee? I can literally see her undergarments underneath!

“R— Rose.. why are you wearing this at this hour?" I asked her as I started to panic.

"Hm? Oh, I tried wearing this once and it felt comfortable. You're not really bothered by it, are you?" she asked as though she was insinuating something.

“N— no, I'm not bothered by it. You can wear what you wish," I told her as I started averting my gaze from looking at her. I didn't really know how to reply to her question. She even asked me with a straight face. If she isn’t bothered by it then I guess I shouldn’t let it bother me as well. But it’s certainly not good for my heart or my hormones.

I tried to ignore what she was wearing and focused on the tea she made. It was certainly different from what she usually makes. I sipped the tea and was impressed with the taste.

"Wow, what tea is this? It’s really delicious," I asked her.

“It's rose tea mixed with a little sugar and some lemon juice," she said.

“Wow— I never even knew such a good tea existed. I’m definitely buying more of this. Who knew that rose tea would actually taste this good," I said out loud.

Rose was taken aback by my remarks. I can see that she was blushing when her cheeks went red. But I wasn’t really complimenting her at all but the tea she made. Whatever works for her I guess. She came over and sat by my side. I held back from staring at her and chose to stare at the wall instead.

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There was a moment of silence between us as we sat side by side. Since when had we gotten such awkwardness between us. I stood up and thought of heading to the washroom to drench my face with cold water; I needed to clear my head from all the evil thoughts that was appearing. Rose tugged on my shirt and gestured me to sit down. I complied and sat down like a good boy. What’s going through her mind right now? Perhaps she might finally open up on what’s been troubling her since we were in the City of Underwater Marrydia.

She held my face and turned it towards her. She is definitely embarrassed as her cheeks were extremely red and flushed.

“Onii-chan— you.. know, right?" she asked as she tried to hide her embarrassment.

“Um— know what exactly?" I asked her.

"A— bout.. my feelings for you," she whispered softly.

Ah shit. Why must she bring this up on the very same day as my date with Lily? Will I even be able to enjoy my date later after such a heavy talk?

"Sorry Rose, feelings about what exactly?" I asked her to be more specific.

Rose turned her back to me and clapped her cheeks with her hands. Not the bitch slap kind but the type that wakes yourself up when you're feeling sleepy. Unless you’re a masochist. She turned around to look at me and place her hands on my cheeks once more. Why do girls need to do this?

"My feelings for you, Onii-chan," she answered with a firm tone. She seems to be more serious now.

“I— guess so?" I said to her. I’m trying my fucking best to dodge as many arrows as I can here, dammit!

“You're not that dense, Onii-chan. I am asking a serious question now. Please answer me properly, please?" Rose gave a little plead to me. I sighed and took a deep breath. Whatever comes I guess I’m gonna face it.

"Yes. I’m aware of your feelings for me. Do we really need to talk about this today?" I asked her as I gave her a pleading face of my own.

“Yes, I want to get this out of the way. You’re gonna see Lily later, right? I’m sure she will be making her move as well," answered Rose. W— what? Lily will be confessing to me as well? No— it can't be. It’s just our first date!

"Alright, what do you want to know, Rose? I will answer as honestly as I can. I promise,” I assured her. Although I might have to lie so as to not lose my one and only sister.

"Do you love me?" she started her question.

"As my little sister," I said.

"You don't see me as a woman?" she continued with a serious look.

"I “might” consider under different circumstances," I answered.

"Are you saying what I'm wearing now doesn't entice you at all?" she frowned.

"If I were drunk I might probably pounce on you," I curled my lips.

"Are you saying I might stand a chance?" her expression turned a 180 at my answer.

“Umm— Yes and no?” I answered.

"Which is it?!" she suddenly shouted at me.

"Look, Rose. You’re still young. You’re just thirteen. Perhaps when you're older then I’ll be able to give you a proper answer. But until then, can you just continue to be my little sister? Please?" I pleaded to her.

"How much older do I need to get until you'll consider?" she clarified.

“Umm— sixteen and above, maybe?” I replied softly.

"Lily would had won you over by then!" she shouted as tears started forming in her eyes. She started crying. I walked closer and gave her a hug as I petted her head.

"If it troubles you so much then I won't go out with Lily. I'll wait until you're sixteen then I'll give both of you my answer, alright?" I whispered softly to her as I tried my best to comfort her.

“No— that won't be fair to Lily. I confessed to you and you rejected me. Now it’s your turn to give her your answer,” she continued to cry.

“Hey hey, shhh— you’ll still be my little sister no matter what, Rose. It’s not the end of the world or something. Don't cry," I continued petting her head. Why won't she calm herself today?

After some time passed, she finally stopped crying. Phew, glad that’s over. I gave a quick glance at the hourglass and it was almost close to the meet-up time with Lily. I told Rose that I would need to go out soon. She wiped her tears and said ok.

“Please give Lily your honest answer. If you have feelings for her then do accept her. I’ll be fine,” she said.

I quickly changed my clothes and headed towards the main door. As I held the door knob, I decided that I needed to make sure to speak with Rose properly before I leave.

“Rose, don’t even think of doing anything stupid when I’m away. And don’t you ever think about killing yourself. You’ll always be my little sister no matter what happens. I will hate myself should anything bad happened to you. Promise me that, please,” I told her with a serious tone. I will not leave until she answered me.

“I— promise, Onii-chan. I won’t do anything stupid. Say hi to Lily for me,” she answered before retreating to her room.

I am sorry Rose. I gave you my honest answer. Please find it in yourself to forgive your older brother. I really don’t see you as anything more than my sister. We’ve been together for so many years now and it’s weird for me to suddenly develop feelings for you.

I headed out and rushed towards the location where I was supposed to meet Lily. I was surprised when she suggested that we meet at the townhouse of all places. I arrived at the location and looked around for her. I hope I’m not late. That’s odd, I don’t see her. Maybe I’m still early perhaps?

“Zen?” a familiar voice called out to me from behind.

I turned around and there she was. Holy moly, she’s as stunning as ever. She was wearing a beautiful green dress that finally covered her stomach area. The number of times I swallowed my throat when we were hanging out together back at City of Underwater Marrydia was infinitely uncountable. She had braided her hair which hid her long ponytail. I’m surprised she actually kept that after such a long time.

“Did an angel graced me with her presence?” I lifted her hand to kiss.

“Oh, you and your compliments. Let’s go,” she blushed.

“Where shall we go, my eminent grace?” I teased her.

“Let’s go– there,” she pointed. I thought she had things planned out for today.

“I’m surprised to see you wearing your glasses again. I thought you preferred the other method you were talking about,” I asked her.

“Oh, you meant the contact glasses. Well, those are better when I know I’ll be engaging in battle but it hurts the eyes after a while. And besides, a certain someone said that he only recognises me when I wear my signature glasses,” she chuckled.

It was only then did I realised that Lily’s dress was showing an awful lot of skin on her back area. I was wrong, she certainly had not wore a more proper outfit.

“Y— your dress is certainly showing a lot of your back area. Won’t you be cold or something?” I stuttered in asking her.

“Well, I was hoping to capture the interest of this dashing guy walking beside me. And good thing he brought along his cloak,” she smiled.

“Oh, this? I’m just being cautious. I make it a habit to always be prepared for the worst. It’s just a precaution for myself in the event I need to protect someone,” I said.

“Is that someone being me?” she flirted.

“Of course I’ll protect my darling angel,” I smirked.

Both of us started laughing as our conversation had too many sarcasm which we played along. We arrived at the location that Lily was pointing at. As it turns out, she really did planned for something after all.

A gondola was waiting for us. The boatman gestured us to hop on board. I went in first and held out a hand for Lily to grab on to. She happily took my hand but she still slipped. I quickly grabbed onto her to make sure she doesn’t fall. Seems like she’s not used to wearing high heel shoes. Or did she? Maybe she purposefully slipped so that I’ll catch her.

We sat at the front of the gondola as the boatman pedalled for us from behind. Only two of us was on board. Lily cuddled with me as the boatman rowed the boat slowly. I didn’t even realised there was such a service in this city. The waterways and canals that was used to flow rain water out of the city had now been turned into some romantic "river" cruise. This service must had been very recent as there was no way I never heard of this before.

We crossed a couple of overhead bridges where people started staring at us. There were surprised that we were sitting on a gondola right inside the city. A few children and adults waved at us as we passed by. I smiled awkwardly as I returned the waving gesture to them. The boatman continued to row slowly towards a destination that I don’t know.

"Lily, why are people staring at us? Isn't this some service anyone can use?" I asked her.

"Hm? What’re you talking about? I arranged this specifically for both of us," she pouted.

“W— what? You meant to say you hired a boatman to bring us somewhere? How did you even thought of this idea in the first place?" I dropped my jaw.

"I wanted our date to be special. Just sit back and enjoy the scenery," she said as she continued to cuddle with me.

It was late evening by now when the boatman finally rowed us out of the city. He brought us to an area where it looked kind of swampy. Are those— mangrove trees? But it had a clear sight of the sun as it was starting to set. Lily leaned her head on my shoulder and held my right hand as I leaned slightly over hers. So this was what she had planned for our first date. How am I going to find a better idea to top this for our second one? Do I need to plan a trip to the moon or something?

Honestly speaking, I was never a romantic person. But seeing the sunset live with your very eyes can certainly change your views of the world.

The sun had officially set and was hidden by the horizon. I assumed that we will be heading back but the boatman just sat there staring towards the trees. Are we going to be safe here when it gets darker? Can he even row us back safely?

Just as I pondered on that thought, I noticed something flew across my vision. It was a spot of light. I was shocked by it and started moving my head to see what it was. More and more of those small floating lights started appearing. It was only then did I knew those were fireflies. So many of them were flying around us. No wonder we sat here waiting even though it was getting darker.

Lily was staring at the fireflies with amazement. She was pointing around and uttered the word "Wow" a couple of times. I was certainly wowed by her too. This woman had made such elaborate plans for our first date. I am at a loss for words that she would be willing to do this much for our first.

Lily noticed I was staring at her and we locked eyes. She’s really beautiful. I do not mind being able to date her. She is a keeper and a steal for me. As a certain ginger-haired man once said, she looks perfect tonight.

I brushed some of her hairs that was out of place. She held my hand and moved closer to me.

“Zen— I love you. Would you go out with me?" she confessed to me.

I moved my face closer to her and whispered her name. I kissed her. Our lips entwined with one another. I felt like I shouldn't let go of this wonderful woman. I should cherish her and make her happy for the rest of my life. I want to be with Lily.

But sadly, the image of Rose crying suddenly appeared inside my mind.

My eyes flung opened and I gently pushed Lily back. I gaze downwards as I dared not look at her in the eyes. She seemed to notice something was wrong.

"Lily, I'm sorry, can you give me a bit of time? I want to think about it a little bit more, please?" I asked as I continued to stare downwards.

“I— see.. it's Rose, isn't it? You didn't realised that you had feelings for her until now," she replied. I swallowed my throat. Damn it, I shouldn't have given her the bracelet. She hit my dilemma spot on.

“I— I'll give you my answer in a couple of days. I promise. Just let me gather my thoughts for now," I explained to her.

“Take your time. Let's head back then," she snapped her fingers to gesture the boatman to row us back to the city.

I completely forgotten about the boatman being here. Didn't he feel awkward seeing us kiss? He took out a lamp and lighted it before he started rowing back.

"I'm really sorry, Lily. You planned such a perfect date and yet I couldn't give you an answer. I'm really sorry," I apologised to her.

"Think nothing of it," she answered bluntly.

Yikes, her mood definitely isn’t good now. And she used my own words against me. We kept silent throughout our journey back to the city.

***

We made it back safely. I thought we would be parting ways now but she told me to follow after her. I assumed that she would be in a bad mood due to my reply but she seemed to have changed her mood again once we were back. I should just follow after her so as to not sour her mood further. We arrived upon a fancy looking tavern and headed in. A table was already prepared for us after we checked-in. As we sat down, food was immediately served. I stared at Lily with my jaw dropped feeling speechless. She just smiled at me and gestured for the both of us to eat.

What the hell am I even doing? This woman did so much on our first date and I made the mood sour because I was indecisiveness. Damn it, why did Rose even have to confess to me of all days. My mind is absolutely conflicted right now along with my heart.

Yes, I love Lily, I won't deny that. But I might had some feelings for Rose too, despite not realising it until today. I’m not at liberty to have two wives. While technically the law doesn’t prohibit me from having multiple wives, it did not sit right with me to have more than one.

The food was delicious but I didn’t enjoy it. I was stuck in a big dilemma on who to choose and what am I supposed to do. Perhaps I will need to have another deep conversation with Rose when I get back.

After we were done eating, I quickly approached to where Lily was seated and helped her up while holding her hand. I might not be able to return her love today but it doesn’t mean I can’t treat her well.

"Someone is being extra gentlemanly all of a sudden," she chuckled.

I just smiled at her and guided her out of the tavern. Obviously I made sure to pay for the meal as it was the least I could do for the day. She hugged my arm closely which had a soft squishy feeling to it. Oh lord that must be the feeling of her chest. Under normal circumstances, I would have brought her somewhere private by now. But I must hold myself back and get all these feelings sorted out first. Begone evil thoughts!

As we opened the tavern's door, we were greeted by a group of soldiers. I was taken aback by their sudden appearance. Soldiers rarely interfere with adventurers unless they were major complains about them causing problems. Or is this part of Lily's plan to ensure that I say yes to her today? Since I sort of said no earlier, is she going to put me in prison and torture me until I say yes?

I turned my gaze towards Lily and she shook her head. Seems like she didn't know about this either.

"Mister Zen, by the order of the Queen, you are to follow us to the castle," said one of the soldier.

"This late? Can this be postponed tomorrow or something?" I asked them.

"Our orders are to bring you in as soon as possible. We cannot delay it any further," answered the soldier.

"Alright then. I'll follow, but only I’m required, right? My partner is free to go?" I asked them.

"What? Hey! I’m following you as well. Bring us to the Queen," answered Lily.

The soldiers looked at each other and escorted us. I saw a few of them swallowing their throats earlier. She might not be mine now but none of you can touch her. I might not have my weapons with me but my gauntlets in my bag can still fry or beat the living shit out of you should you do anything to her.

But what the hell is going on? Why the sudden escort? I doubt this is regarding my knighting to become a Dark Knight. Something else must be up. I held Lily closer to make sure she’s safe as we headed towards the castle.