Gooey walls gripped him. Tight. Warm. But he needed to get deeper. The urge drove him. He shifted his angle and shoved more inside. His tip bumped against the prize he sought. A bit of careful wriggling honed from years of experience worked at it just right. His nail latched on. Bingo.
The small malnourished boy who went by the moniker Nose extracted his bony finger from his nostril with the precision of a bomb defusal expert. Meanwhile a pixelated jittering video played in his eye augment from one of his favorite interests, ‘Savor the Peelies’. The group dedicated itself to documenting the satisfaction of taking the protective clear plastic off of a new screen.
Nose didn’t know that sensation. Though he longed to experience it. As an orphan ‘new’ didn’t venture into his vocabulary. Life was a series of hand-me-downs, donated goods at the end of their lifetime, and nights when his tummy ached from lack of food. But right now his attention went towards the next best thing: the wondrous tingles from a particularly glued-on booger extraction. It felt like an itchy sticker getting peeled off his brain. The deep ones are always the best.
The yellowish coagulated chunk of elastic mucus stretched. Ever so slowly the anchor’s grip ebbed to his steady tug until it snapped onto the end of his finger. Nose relished the single unobstructed breath of air. Ever since Cat gave him that can of magic smoke, such respites from his clogged airways seemed less necessary. No longer did lightheadedness or shallow gasps plague him. Now he just picked his nose for the sheer joy of it.
As it always did, the nostril filled again mere moments later, forcing Nose to breathe through his mouth once more. He absentmindedly rubbed the booger onto his frayed pants and began his quest anew. All the while he saw Nemo playing a game on one of the oversized screens built into the wall of the hotel they were temporarily staying at.
Nose didn’t know why they got to stay in such a lavish arrangement. Probably had to do with Cat and her new superpowers or whatever. So he just indulged in the soft cushy upholstered couch while he had the chance. If he hadn’t seen a similar one in a show, then he would’ve never recognized the piece of furniture. It didn’t even have holes in it! Where were the exposed springs? The stains? The missing legs? The crusty bits?
Who knew how long until he went back to the dank den of mold calling itself an orphanage. He expected an adult to come along any minute to tell him to vacate the premises. Or maybe a policeman to come arrest him for being a bad kid. A nuisance. An eye sore. He didn’t get out much, on account of his condition that made sustained walking more dream than reality. But when he did others avoided him like he was an Antithesis. Well, maybe not that bad. They didn’t run away screaming for their lives. But they certainly went on detours to keep their distance.
> Chosen one, please heed our call!
> Accept Summoning? [Yes]//[No]
The message interrupted the peelies and appeared in far greater clarity than his fifth-hand augs brought to him by Nimbletainment Inc. should support. It shone with more resolution and brightness than even the logo permanently fixed in the top-right corner of his peripheral vision. The words read themselves aloud, not that he knew what ‘heed’ meant.
Stolen from its original source, this story is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.
Nose ignored it, already familiar with the nearly incessant flood of advertisements, spam, and commercials specially tailored to entice him into buying things. It wasn’t like he’d ever bought anything. Somehow the advertisers never got the memo that he lacked money. Or parents to beg to buy him things. The ads simply served as a frequent reminder of what he would never have.
Being a kitten, the nickname given to the children of Orphan Collective K1-T3N, really drove concepts like hope away. Compared to some others he hadn’t been in the orphanage for long, but he never heard of any of them getting adopted. Rejects, the lot of them. At least the older kids tried their best to make it bearable. They were in it together. At least until they aged out of the system.
As the oldest, Cat would soon leave them behind. With her superpowers he didn’t think she’d stick around. She had heroing to do. She left early this morning, in fact. Whether she’d return? Only she knew.
He still remembered the action figure she got him last Christmas. Even when he received it the toy didn’t have all the parts anymore. But the single inflexible plastic hand still attached worked wonders as a new way to carve out boogers. He wondered if he’d ever see it again. Cat told him he couldn’t bring it on their trip to the museum, much to his dismay. At least he had something to look forward to seeing again when he inevitably returned to the musty orphanage.
> Chosen one, please save our realm!
> Accept Summoning? [Yes]//[No]
Boring. It sounded like some kind of game they were trying to sell. But they didn’t even show any cool graphics. Where were the explosions and guns and monsters? If he had money it definitely wouldn’t go towards this.
> We need your help, chosen one! Our world shall soon fall to ruin by the hands of the dreaded Solid Ones. Only you, with your exceptionally high Slime affinity, the highest in the known multiverse, can save us. Lead the Goo Knights as our Gelatinous Supreme and drive these vile legged menaces back from whence they came. Fame, fortune, and glory await.
> Accept Summoning? [Yes]//[No]
Okay, maybe Nose had become a little intrigued. He’d never been served an advertisement quite like this one before. Knights? That was super retro. Games were all about Samurai and soldiers and blasting apart Antithesis.
> You’re our last hope, chosen one! We’ll give you anything. A castle. No, an entire kingdom of your own. Hundreds of slaves. Your pick of husbands and wives. Anything! Our summoners can’t keep the realm gate open much longer. Please accept quickly!
> Accept Summoning? [Yes]//[No]
> Time remaining: 00:27
The ‘yes’ pulsed with insistence. Nose would be lying if he said he wasn’t tempted. A castle all his own? And anything else? A peelie? Maybe even a family? Parents to call his own? He looked around the hotel at his fellow orphans. Like him, they all enjoyed this luxury. But deep down they knew it wouldn’t last. For the unwanted dregs of this world, fortune never stuck around. They’d be happy he found someone to adopt him. At least one of them would be elevated from the pits of society.
The door to the room beeped. Its heavy-duty locks disengaged with a shuttering clunk before opening. Cat strode in, a mixture of human and Antithesis blood staining her newest heroing outfit. “Kittens!” she called out with arms up high and a smile on her face.
Nose joined the gaggle of children swarming the young woman. He hugged her leg while mentally pressing ‘no’. Kittens stuck together.