The heavy and familiar knocks on the front door of her flat brought out a long sigh from Violet.
However, she wasn’t the only one who recognised the knocking. “What mess has the miss gotten herself into this time?” asked Penny—Violet’s assistant.
“Please check through my notes and speech,” Violet said, tapping the papers on her desk.
Penny giggled, covering her mouth. “So polite.”
Used to such teasing, Violet ignored her and walked out of the study and to the front door. Before she could open it all the way, Lily darted through, her face flushed with anger and eyes sparkling with unshed tears, mouth set in a pronounced pout.
“Aunty,” she whined, tone sharp.
Violet felt the start of a headache forming already. Even though she held tremendous affection for the girl, she was not good at dealing with children. She was sure that she had behaved a lot more sensibly when she was thirteen. Unfortunately, Lily was very much Nora’s child, and her loveable yet intense personality was difficult for an old lady like Violet to keep up with.
Despite that, she had never sent Lily away. A long time ago, Nora had promised that her children would be Violet’s to spoil, and that promise had been kept. But rather than treats or presents, Violet indulged in the familial relationship she would never have as a spinster without siblings.
However, she was not the sort to coddle nor pamper.
“What did you do this this time?” she asked, fixing Lily with a stern stare.
Lily wilted at first, but then found a second wind and tried to close the distance for a hug. One step ahead of her, Violet stepped back, and she flicked Lily’s forehead.
“Well?” she said.
Although Lily put on a hurt expression, Violet remained firm in her resolve. Eventually, deciding nothing would be forthcoming, Violet bid Lily to follow her to the lounge. On the way, they passed the kitchen, and Violet requested tea be served. After a minute of sitting in silence, the kitchen maid brought through a tray with tea and biscuits—Violet was rather alone in not pampering Lily.
Through the silence, Lily settled down and Violet observed her. Violet had always thought the twins took after their mother in appearance, yet the years that passed only made the resemblance stronger. And with how Lily had taken to braiding her hair like Violet had in her youth, Violet had many times wondered what it would have been like if she had been Nora’s sister, as well as entertained a few other silly fantasies.
As for today, she thought Lily had likely fought with her mother. With plenty of experience, Violet could usually tell who had upset Lily, and the way she had seemed hurt and clingy usually followed a falling out with Nora.
“Tell me what happened between you and your mother,” Violet said.
Confirming her thoughts, Lily tensed up, averted her gaze. However, she knew well that Violet would not let the matter go and so prepared herself. “Really, it’s all May’s fault. She’s upset that James mostly spoke with me yesterday.”
Violet thought the twins had inherited their mother’s talent for evasive answers, and she knew how to navigate such conversations. “What did your sister do?”
Fidgeting in her seat, Lily took her time to reply, which made Violet all the more wary of what words would come.
“Well, she told mother I’m bullying someone at school,” Lily said, a defeated tone to her voice.
Violet could easily see how such news would have led to an argument, yet it didn’t explain why Lily had fled. Preferring to work through things in order, Violet put that aside for the moment and tackled what had been said first and asked, “Are you bullying someone?”
The flush that had already been returning intensified from the question. “You don’t believe me either?” Lily sharply asked.
“How can I believe you when you haven’t given me an answer?” Violet replied.
Lily mentally stumbled, but quickly found her footing. “So you think I would bully someone?”
Her rising anger washed over Violet like a wave crashing on a rock, fleeting and powerless. “I think you are capable of making mistakes. In particular, you are currently feeling persecuted, even though I am simply trying to find out the facts of the matter.” She paused for a moment, and then continued. “And I am on your side regardless of what those facts might be.”
Lily crumpled. “You are?” she whispered.
“I am.”
Those two words brought Lily to tears, and Violet thought her expression looked almost broken. Yet she offered no comfort. Indeed, Lily recovered her composure shortly, drying her eyes and settling her breath.
“Tell me, does your sister have a reason to think you are bullying someone?” Violet asked; the sisters went to different schools, so it wasn’t as straightforward as seeing it.
Although Lily still looked to be in bad shape, she spoke clearly. “She corresponds with some ladies at my school and so they have written certain things.”
Violet nodded along. “Have they been writing lies or otherwise misrepresenting the truth?” she asked.
Lily’s mouth squirmed, unsure what words to say. Eventually, she replied, “I haven’t seen the letters.”
“If they were truthful, would it be fair for your sister to summarise your behaviour as bullying?” Violet asked.
This time, she thought Lily looked ashamed; however, it was a fleeting reaction, quickly replaced by indignation. “Of course not.”
Violet left Lily to stew in her thoughts for a minute, in that time sipping tea. Then she said, “Pray tell what you have been doing that your sister has misinterpreted.”
Far from eager to reply, Lily dragged out her answer. “Well, um, there is a girl in my class who is weird. She often appears unkempt, and she reads strange books during class, and she ignores you when you speak to her, and even the teachers get upset with her.”
Although Violet listened without interrupting, she then said, “I asked what you did, not what she did.”
Emotions flitted across Lily’s face too quickly for Violet to follow, her lips pressing tightly together one moment and quivering the next, hands fidgeting, unfocused eyes staring down at her lap. Appearing to shrink, her shoulders came together as if shrugging, elbows at her side, knees pushed together.
“I tried to speak with her at first, but she never responded with more than a blank smile. Even if I raised my voice, or spoke more harshly, she didn’t react. I just wanted to tell her she should ask a maid to brush her hair if she didn’t know, and that she should stop reading in class. If she didn’t want to talk with anyone, that’s fine, but if she kept acting like that, if she kept standing out so much….”
Violet let the silence linger for a few seconds before volunteering an ending to that sentence. “She would be bullied?”
“Precisely,” Lily said.
Rather than move forward with the conversation, Violet asked, “And it annoyed you to be ignored?”
As if remembering the feeling, Lily scowled. “Can she really be so rude to not even return a greeting?”
“Did you do anything else?” Violet asked.
That sobered Lily again, her irritation fading into a blank expression. “Since she wouldn’t listen, I took her books away—the ones she read during the lessons—but I gave them back at break and the end of the day. And I brushed her hair once, but she messed it up as soon as I finished, so I didn’t bother trying again.”
“And that is everything?” Violet asked.
“Yes,” Lily said, quiet.
Another period of silence began as Violet processed everything. It was far from a simple situation, yet she understood why Nora had likely reacted rashly. In the many years Violet had known her, she had always been someone who oscillated between overthinking and acting on impulse, and this was something she had been blindsided by, no time to overthink.
As for Lily, Violet had known the girl since she was but a bump. Nora had imparted many virtues on her, yet they took time to mature; currently, she was still beholden to her own immaturity. In Violet’s opinion, even if a child understood empathy, it only became ingrained towards the later teenage years. That was based on her own experiences growing up and what she had learned as part of her political endeavours. And without empathy, it was all too easy to become misguided.
That wasn’t to say she thought Lily was being purposefully cruel. Rather, she said, “You were trying to help her?”
Lily nodded, but she didn’t meet Violet’s gaze.
Violet let out a soft sigh. She really preferred dealing with the old men of the Chambers, if only because she could shout at them. “Let us start with the crux of the matter: is that behaviour acceptable?” she asked.
Cornered, Lily sniffled, and she said, “You’re supposed to be on my side.”
“Being on your side means being honest with you,” Violet said, her voice still calm.
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Tearing up, Lily moved her hands to her knees and then slowly stood up. “Aunty,” she said, whiny, “I’m not a bully.”
Violet stood up as well and, this time, she didn’t move away when Lily came forward for a hug. Lily squeezed her painfully tight, and the sobs made her heart ache. Gentle, she stroked the back of Lily’s head.
“I’m not a bully,” Lily mumbled into Violet’s shoulder.
“I know,” Violet said. “I know.”
It took Lily half a minute to calm down, and another half before she pried herself off of Violet and returned to her seat, eyes red and puffy, cheeks stained. Violet wasn’t unaffected herself, but she could keep her emotions in check behind a controlled expression and steady mind.
As far as the matter was concerned, she felt confident that Lily had made the necessary progress. Children were rather capable when asked the right questions. So Violet wanted to move beyond the issue and to the underlying cause, a conversation she thought might be just as challenging.
“Let me start by saying that, however someone acts, she is not inciting bullying. A bully will latch on to any reason or even invent her own. The specifics are complicated and vary from situation to situation, but usually the way one stops bullying is to support the target and engage the bully,” Violet said, level and without accusation.
Lily nodded along.
That had been the easy bit for Violet to say, and now she had to take a moment to prepare herself. “Tell me, do you think the girl should stop being weird?” Violet asked.
For a second, Lily hesitated as she thought it over. “Well, yes,” she quietly said.
“Why is that?”
Lily thought for longer this time, an unease making her mildly uncomfortable in her seat. “If you act weird, you stand out poorly, and other people won’t want to stand beside you. No one wants to be her friend and everyone makes jokes about her. Why would anyone want that?”
Violet nodded along, and then leaned forwards when Lily finished, her gaze so heavy that it pulled Lily to look at her. “You do know, I am nearly forty and still unmarried. There are countless of my peers who even mock me to my face simply for that, and they have been since before you were born,” she said.
A thick blush quickly engulfed Lily, flustered. “That is… different,” she said.
“Why is it?” Violet asked.
Lily’s fists squeezed tight, knuckles white, and she once again couldn’t look Violet in the eye. “It’s, you know, not your fault you didn’t find the right person,” she said.
Unwilling to hold it in, Violet laughed at that answer. She had always thought that Lily and May were both very much Nora’s children, ready to say such strangely sweet things, romantics at heart.
“What’s so funny?” Lily asked, her eyes narrowed and mouth set in a pout.
Violet shook off the question, replying only with a tender smile. And though she didn’t change her expression, it soon took on a bittersweet air, the emotions behind her eyes falling from the pleasant present to a past she could never forget.
“Your mother has a fantastical imagination, yet she hides it. Many of the things your father has written about are in fact her inventions. Cars, rockets, radio, and she even predicted that electricity could provide torque.
“However, back when she was a young child, people made fun of her for coming up with such things. So she stopped mentioning them—just like you suggested. Yet, when she started school years later, rumours spread of how she was weird and everyone ignored her. For three years, she had no friends, she had no one to talk to, and she ate every meal alone. From time to time, she would also be bullied.”
As strong as Violet was, she couldn’t make it through all that without her voice wavering, a pair of tears pooling in her eyes. But she didn’t look away from Lily, and Lily could only watch with a kind of morbid curiosity at seeing her indomitable role model crack.
Violet smiled an empty smile. “Tell me, what do you think I did?”
Lily swallowed the lump in her throat. “I mean, you must have shouted at them? Or….”
“I was one of them, Lily. I bullied your mother,” Violet said, and her words brought with them a crashing silence.
Lily didn’t just freeze, she seemed to shatter, a look of utter disbelief crumbling away to leave a look of being completely lost. A half-open mouth, vacant eyes, still as a statue—Violet would have found it quite the humorous sight if not for the situation.
Taking pity on Lily, Violet continued her confession. “I can tell you clearly why I did: I was afraid they would treat me the same way. Even though I knew it was wrong, that I was doing something awful, I still abandoned her. More than that, just seeing her reminded me of how terrible of a person I was, making me want to pick on her, wanting her to lash out and so justify my decision. I even threw away a doll she had gifted me, one I had cherished more than anything my parents had ever given me, because someone told me it was childish to bring a doll to school.”
She paused there, needing a moment to settle her breathing.
“I was your age at the time, and your mother has since forgiven me for it, yet I have to live my entire life with that regret. All I can do now is be an example to help others not make the same mistake.”
While Lily didn’t look as shaken as before, she still appeared lost. Violet didn’t blame her. It was a lot to take in, especially for a fresh teenager. Even though Lily had already been attending school for a few years under the educational reforms, Violet knew that the only relationships dramas she’d been involved in were all family-orientated. She didn’t have the experience nor the correct social skills to process something so emotionally complex. The sort of cognitive dissonance of both loving someone and bullying them was particularly difficult for children, Violet knew, childhood a time of universal justice and truths, far different to the murky reality of compromise and tolerance.
It was thus not unexpected for Lily to quietly ask, “What do I do?”
Violet softly smiled, and this time it had a certain warmth to it, gentle and reassuring. “You know what to do,” she said.
Her coaxing worked; Lily thought through some thoughts, and then said, “I… have to apologise, don’t I?”
“No, you do not have to,” Violet said in a knowing tone.
Lily bit her lip, an almost pained look tugging at her eyes. “I should apologise.”
Violet nodded.
Lily asked, “Is that… really enough?”
For a long moment, Violet weighed up her response. The hardest part of helping Nora’s children was maintaining the balance between being instructive and reflective. Nora wanted the twins to be able to think for themselves, and Violet very much agreed, but a riddle with too few clues was just nonsense. That was why Violet preferred to approach problems using these slow and patient conversations, gradually giving Lily pieces until she could start forming her own answers.
In that vein, Violet said, “You remember how to give a proper apology?”
Lily hesitated a second, but nodded. “I… tell her what I did wrong, apologise for it, and tell her what I will change so I don’t do it again.”
It was a familiar pattern Violet had heard from Nora many times over the years, who had learned it from her own mother. “As far as I am concerned, that matter is now dealt with,” Violet said. “Now, regarding your mother, I want you to understand that she does not hate you, she is upset with your behaviour. Is that clear?”
Lily didn’t look like she understood at all, a mix of confusion, and a trace of that earlier anger had returned.
Letting out a sigh, Violet felt a sudden thankfulness that Nora and Oscar had stopped at the twins. It was rather difficult being an aunt. “You know, most of your peers are raised by nannies and maids and governesses. Yet, your mother raised you both herself, from bathing to dressing to feeding. So when you behave in such a way, it reflects poorly on her.”
That set Lily off, her anger spiking. “So what? I have to do everything she tells me to because of that?”
It had seemed like such a good idea to Violet to move in opposite the Barnets, more innocent times back then. And with Lily, she thought, you really couldn’t make someone appreciate what they took for granted.
“When I say that it reflects poorly on her, I mean that she has no one else to blame and has to take the responsibility herself. And so she believes that she is the one who let you down, not the other way around. She believes she is the one who made a mistake, who did not raise you properly.”
Violet paused there, giving Lily a moment to take in what she’d said, and then continued.
“When has your mother ever shouted at you?” she asked.
Lily pursed her lips. “All the time,” she mumbled.
“For you to stop what you are doing, but when has she ever shouted at you for something you have done? Rather, she talks to you and tries to explain things and treats you with respect, doesn’t she? I promise I am not just making up excuses for her as her friend—she really has made a mistake in how she handled this, and I will tell her to apologise to you if she does not do so on her own—but I am sure that the person she was upset with earlier was herself.”
That gave Lily pause for thought.
Violet took a mental step back, thinking this sort of situation was in some ways surreal. It had been in her early twenties that she had made peace with the fact she would never have children of her own, yet moments like these reminded her how shallow blood was, how welcoming a heart could be. For the first few months of the twins’ lives, Violet had merely loved them as Nora’s children. But it hadn’t taken long before she truly loved them as if they truly were her nieces.
It made her feel all that much older to remember it had been some thirteen years ago that she first held Lily, and stared into eyes so pale that they reminded her of a shimmering fog. A little hand had wrapped around her finger, beckoning an urge to protect and nurture, and she had offered no resistance.
For all that she complained in her head, joked about how tiring it was dealing with the now-teenagers, the truth was that was deeply and humbly thankful to have people she could call family.
Lily finally worked through her own thoughts, bringing Violet out of hers. “Okay,” was all she said, and that was enough for Violet to smile. Relieved, Lily deflated as she let out a long breath.
“There is one more thing I wish to discuss,” Violet said.
Just like that, Lily’s relief dried up, her eyes widening.
“You said you wanted to help this girl. After apologising to her, will you still try to help her?” Violet asked.
A very much unexpected question, Lily took a good few seconds before answering. “Y-yes.”
Violet nodded, and then asked, “How?”
A few seconds stretched to half a minute to a whole minute. Finally, Lily lowered her head and said, “I don’t know.”
Violet had expected that. “This is merely my speculation while knowing nothing, but she may ignore you because she was bullied before. She may have a dishevelled appearance because she would rather be made fun of for that as it is something within her power. She may read those books to try and forget her situation.”
Pausing there, she gave Lily some time to think over what she’d said before continuing.
“If you want her to talk to you, she first has to trust you, and trust is something you have to earn. Yet notice that that line of thought starts with what you want. If you think on what she wants, then she wants to be left alone. At least, that is what she is telling you, and it is up to you decide if she is being honest.”
Lily mulled over that as well, but this time ended with a sour expression. “Surely… no one wants to be alone?” she said.
Feeling like she had already given too much instruction, Violet left that matter for Lily to think over by herself. “What I do know is that you are a compassionate person. I am sure that, if you approach this in a thoughtful and sincere manner, things will go well. Or maybe they won’t—the world is a rather chaotic place.”
Lily frowned at that last line, but kept to her thoughts.
In the end, they had another cup of tea in silence, and then had a little chat about the Kent family gathering the day before. As inexperienced as Violet was in romance, it hardly took a savant to notice how sweetly Lily spoke of James, and she could only feel sorry for poor May who had to listen to such words.
When Lily finally returned to the Barnets’ flat, Violet leant against the closed door and let out a long sigh.
“The miss is as energetic as ever, it seems,” Penny said.
Violet smiled, that statement rather agreeable. “What did you think of hearing that story?”
While she had never kept secrets from Penny, there were many things Penny hadn’t asked her, especially with regards to her childhood. But she knew that Penny was keenly curious and so she tried to talk about her own past from time to time, yet this dark subject had been too hard to bring up before.
From her position, she couldn’t see Penny’s face, could only watch as Penny stepped closer. Out of a childish fear of what may come next, she closed her eyes. However, all Penny did was take hold of her hand, gently squeezing it.
“I was disappointed to hear of your behaviour, but I am glad you acknowledge it and have learned from it. That is how you feel about the miss, isn’t it?” she asked.
Violet softly laughed, and nodded. “Indeed, you know me well,” she mumbled.
“You are a good person I am so very happy to have met. This chance to get to know you has surely used a lifetime of luck,” Penny whispered, and she moved closer, shoulder to shoulder with Violet, their arms pressed together.
“I am the one who has incurred such a debt of luck, blessed with so many wonderful people in my life,” she said.
Penny giggled, the sound pleasant to Violet. “To think we would both feel so lucky—what are the chances?” she asked.
While Violet couldn’t give an answer, she truly believed it was like a wish come true.