Ninety-five years ago, the Great Prophet of Oodlesnoff foretold the coming of great calamity in audience before the royal family.
I quote “A calamity of calamitous proportions shall befall the Kingdom of Noodles in one hundred years. Great evil will rise up from the dark west and ravage the lands before it. Heed this warning and take this time now to prepare!”
Pausing for dramatic effect, the Great Prophet of Oodlesnoff slurps some noodles from the bowl before him and continues speaking as he chews. “The great evil that will rise up shall be known as-” At this point, the evil’s name has unfortunately been lost to time for the GPoO choked to death on the very noodles by which this proud kingdom attained its name. I guess his mother never taught him not to chew and talk. It’s an even greater shame that he didn’t get to finish his meal.
Anyways, in preparation for this great calamity, Queen Annabeth began a period known as “The Great Preparation”. During this time, the smithies smithed, knights knighted, armies recruited, magicers developed their magic, and most importantly, the noodlers noodled, for what would one do without noodles?
Now, ninety-five years later, here I am. 25 years old and son of a farmer, I have worked my way up from the rank of Limp Noodle as a foot soldier to Al Dente as one of the royal family’s guards. Today marks “The Day of Cooking”.
As of this moment, the great sauceror, magical mage of magical sauces and all things magic, is preparing the summoning ritual which had been simmering over the decades so that it might bring about the perfect entree, I mean hero.
“Tomatoes, arugula, mushrooms and pan. We take up spoon in hand. Stir and simmer, mix it with spice. Let it be served, the dishes not bland.”
Bam! And a flash of light pours forth from the summoning circle. As those in attendance recover their sight, claims of exclamation can be hear all around.
“Great mother of macaroni.” “Holy marinara!” “Godly gouda.”
Once the smoke cleared, three teenagers could be seen looking around in a daze. The first to recover is a boy, physically fit and ever flowing hair, he is the epitome of prettyboys everywhere. His two companions both seem to be girls and cling to the boy’s arms for support. I say “seem to be girls” because one of them is extremely ambiguous and the neutral attire doesn’t help in gender confirmation at all. It doesn’t seem like anything important is happening soon so I just zone out the whole “Welcome, heroes” spiel and decide to look for some noodles.
Stolen from its original source, this story is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.
Ooh, is that ramen I see?
NomNomNomNomNomNomNomNomNomNomNomNomNomNomNomNomNomNomNomNomNomNomNomNomNomNomNomNomNomNomNomNomNomNomNomNomNomNomNomNom
“Ahem, Bob.” Did I hear someone calling me? Nah, let’s just go back to eating.
NomNomNomNomNomNomNomNomNomNomNomNomNomNomNomNomNomNomNomNom
“Noodle knight Bob.”
...NomNomNom… I look up to find the entire court staring directly at me.
“Huh? What? Sorry, I was busy enjoying these wonderful noodles over here. Would you like a bowl? No, sorry. What were you saying?”
“As I was saying, the heroes here shall be under your care so that they may get accustomed to our world and combat in preparation for The Great Serving time.”
Still distracted by my noodles, I reply idly.
“Yes your majesty…” Wait, did I just agree to babysit these guys?
----------------------------------------
A/N: Okay, I originally wasn’t planning on posting anything new to RRL for quite a while, but seeing as I’m likely to come back to this on and off, I might as well share it. This is supposed to be humorous and light so tell me if anything is getting serious. I am aiming to keep it completely not serious. Here’s the original doc in my google drive. There’s another update so just follow the link. It’ll be posted within a day or so.
Anyways, it started off as a little random idea with what is essentially a side character as the MC taking care of the summoned heroes in a more traditional fantasy setting and a bit more serious… Don’t ask how it came to noodles and this because I couldn’t answer that properly even if I tried. Along with Noodle Knight, I’m doing some stuff in my Terrible Topic Corner from time to time and the entries continue to slowly grow. I write dumb shorts by request so check it out if you want anything in particular.