The child trudged back to his home, tired from his day at school. The living room was dark, the only light coming from the open door as he entered. He stopped at the doorway, staring at the shadows that covered every inch of the apartment. All the curtains and shutters were closed, blocking any light that may spill in from outside.
“Mom? Are you there?” The child called out, but no reply came back. There was only silence. The lights were usually turned on, even when nobody was home, so the boy found the situation strange.
The child slowly walked into the apartment, making sure the door remained open to provide some semblance of illumination. The switch for the light fixtures in the living room was located in the kitchen, so he had to go there first if he wanted to get some light without having to leave the door open.
“Mom? I'm home!” the child called out again, as he crept slowly through the living room, the wooden floor creaking from time to time as his bare feet stepped on it. He glanced at the dark corners to make sure no monsters or ghosts were creeping up behind him.
He arrived in the kitchen, which was even darker than the living room. He placed his hand on the wall and probed for the light switch. It was too dark to see, so he had to rely on his sense of touch to find it. Fear and panic were starting to swell within him, but after a few more seconds, he finally found the switch. He breathed a sigh of relief.
Before he could flip the switch, a cold hand suddenly grabbed his, and the child froze. Every hair on his body was standing straight and cold sweat dripped down his back. He tried to scream, but he couldn't find his voice. ‘The monster finally got me,’ he thought. He shut his eyes, trying to hold back the tears from spilling.
Before he could find his courage and scream bloody murder, the cold hand on top of his pressed down, switching on the lights. The shadows were banished, and the light illuminated a variety of food set up on the kitchen table. Balloons of many different colors were tied in various corners, and a large banner with cute lettering was hanging over the counter.
“Happy Birthday!” The owner of the cold hand called out. The child looked over and saw his mother, wearing a party hat with a large smile on her face. Her look was expectant, searching the child's face for his reaction.
But all she saw was fear on his face and realized that she may have made a big mistake.
“Oh, I'm so sorry for scaring you, sweetie!” The mother immediately hugged her son and felt his body trembling.
“I-I'm alright, Mom! I was just s-shocked by all this.”
“I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to scare you! Are you alright?!” The mother checked her son's face and saw a boy pretending to be unaffected.
“Hah! I-If you think that was enough to scare me, you should try h-harder next time!” The child laughed nervously. He was terrified but seeing his mother's look of regret and concern scared him more.
The mother saw the child's attempt to act brave so that she would not feel bad. She wanted to apologize, to assure her son that this would not happen again. She knew he was afraid of the dark, and it skipped her mind while she was preparing the surprise. Although it hurt her to see him act this way, she knew it would be better if she played along. She would just have to make up for her son later.
“Ho ho, looks like you're braver than you look! As a reward for being courageous, I'll read you a story before bed later.”
“Really?! Will you also sleep with me tonight?” The child's eyes brimmed with excitement. If his mother slept with him tonight, he wouldn't have to worry about the monster under his bed, or the ghost hiding in his closet.
“Just this once, sweetie, but you have to sleep alone in the future, okay?”
The mother pretended to be stern, but she also wanted to be there for his son tonight as an apology. She was trying to help him get over his fear of the dark by making him sleep alone, but today was an exception.
Come on, let's get to eating all this food! It's your birthday, so you get to eat anything you like!
“Yay! I want the cake!”
“Save the desserts for later, honey.”
“Aww…”
●●●
January 15, the Year 1217 A.C.
I woke up with a yawn, stretching my little arms and legs. The familiar ceiling greeted me as I lay in my cot, surrounded by a fortress of blankets and pillows. I always found their presence reassuring, which was very weird. I was pretty sure I had no fetish for blankets in my previous life.
Mom's room remained the same even after a year had passed. An old bed with a worn mattress filled with straw, a small dresser that reeked of mold, and unpainted walls. The room would've looked bare with so little furniture, but Mom's tendency to leave clothes and garments lying around on the floor gave the room a cluttered appearance.
A year had passed after my magic aptitude test, and I learned a lot of things along the way. It turned out that the magic aptitude test only measured if a person had enough mana to cast a first-circle spell, the weakest type of magic. But just because I did not have enough mana to cast a single spell didn't mean my potential future as a mage was over.
According to Mother Betha, a person needed to 'feel' his or her mana before they could manipulate it to cast magic. People who were born with more mana had higher chances of 'feeling' their mana. For people like me who had a very small mana pool, 'feeling' my mana becomes exponentially harder. For the majority of people who had practically non-existent mana pools, 'feeling' their mana becomes impossible.
Increasing one's mana pool also required one to keep using mana, so people who had a higher starting mana pool had a big head start.
Unfortunately, Mother Betha never mentioned how to 'feel' and use my mana to improve my mana pool, so I spent an entire year doing nothing but sleep and suck on Mom's teats.
I heard the clinking of plates and silverware over by the main room. Mom was probably setting up breakfast. Yep, I started calling Helen ‘Mom’ after the magic aptitude test. A small part of my mind was still uncomfortable with it because it felt like betraying the mother I had back on Earth. It was pretty stupid, but my discomfort is overwhelmed by the fact that it's pretty hard not to like Helen. She might do stupid things from time to time due to her inexperience, but her love for me was genuine and deep. So deep that it hurt me sometimes. I always wondered whether I deserved her, whether her love and care were just wasted on a person like me. But every time I saw her tender look every day, I always told myself that if I didn't deserve her, then I'll just have to make myself worthy of her.
I heard a knock on the front door, followed by the sound of Mom walking over. I couldn't see what was happening since I was in our bedroom, but the person outside was probably either Sister Tillie or Sister Lina. The two nuns always visited almost every week over the past year. Mother Betha also checked on us from time to time, but it was pretty rare. The old hag probably had arthritis and found it too bothersome to make the trip to our humble home every week.
“Oh! Good morning Mother Betha! I didn't expect you to be so early…” Mom's voice echoed from the main room. Looked like I was mistaken. It seems like the old hag was still fit and healthy. Probably with the help of magic. Dang, magic is so cool. I want to know how to cast magic already!
“Time is precious child, no need to go wasting it. And just because I'm old doesn't mean I don't get excited over parties.” Mother Betha chuckled as I heard her entering the house. Party? What party?
“Yeah, no need to go wasting it, Helly! So, where's the food?”
I could almost feel the excitement in Sister Lina's voice. I swear she always ate more than a pig, but her body always stayed the same: slender and with almost perfect proportions. If I was in the middle of puberty, I would probably blush every time she smiled at me.
Looked like Mother Betha chose Sister Lina to accompany her this time during her visit. She always brought along one of the two nuns every time she came for a visit.
“I believe Helen is still doing the preparations, Sister Lina. Please be patient and wipe the drool dripping down your chin.”
Hearing Sister Tillie's calm voice surprised me a bit. I never recalled a time when all three women from the chapel came to visit at once. They always left someone to supervise the chapel. What's the occasion?
“Linny, Tillie! Come in, come in! Sorry Linny, I'm not done yet with all the preparations. You're gonna have to wait a bit— wait, didn't you eat breakfast already?!”
“Oats and bread are not enough for a growing maiden like me, Helly! Plus, I'm getting tired of the same bland food every single da— ow!”
Wow, Sister Lina had a penchant for getting smacked by Mother Betha every day. I always wondered whether Mother Betha was breaking some kind of non-violence oath she swore as a priestess.
“Watch your mouth, you ungrateful brat. Be thankful that the Holy Mother still gives Her blessings to one of Her wayward nuns.” Mother Betha's voice was intense, but I could also hear exasperation behind it. No wonder, Sister Lina always acted the opposite of what a nun should be. How did she even get the position in the first place?
“You didn't have to smack me, Mother! Pastors aren't supposed to hit other people! Are you sure you're not one of the wayward Servants of the Holy Mother you just referred to?!”
“My hand just slipped, and for that, I apologize. My hand tends to do that every time a certain nun misbehaves. I guess I'm starting to get on in years, eh?”
I could almost imagine their faces even though I couldn't see them. Mother Betha with her shit-eating grin and Sister Lina with her indignant look, while Sister Tillie stayed in the background, smiling gently at her companions and silently enjoying Sister Lina's suffering. They should work as stand-up comedians instead of clergywomen. I bet they'll get more donations that way.
“Let me help you with the cooking, Helly. I have this new recipe I want to try!”
“Sure Linny, you can help, but please don't try out one of your new recipes again. You can try it later, after the party.”
“Aw, alright.”
Thank God Mom prevented Sister Lina from trying one of her ‘new recipes.’ Sister Lina usually cooked delicious and uncommon food, but she had to experiment at one point to get the taste right. And I didn't want to be the one to do the taste-tasting. Not again.
“Helen, may I borrow Brogen?”
“Oh, sure Tillie, he's in my room sleeping.”
I heard soft footsteps as a shadow appeared in the doorway of the room. I looked over and saw Sister Tillie looking at me.
“Oh? Looks like somebody is already awake.” She walked up to my cot and took a peek behind her to make sure nobody was watching. I already knew what she was about to do next. When she was sure that no one was looking, she leaned down on me and started tickling my belly while cooing to me in a sweet voice.
“How's my little Brogen doing? Did you miss me? Did you miss aunt Tillie?”
The nun's professional demeanor instantly melted away as she started playing with me. Her usual formal appearance was replaced with that of a doting older sister. I swear man, she could transform from a sinister devil to a sweet young lady in an instant. Creepy.
As a former 26-year-old man, I should've felt embarrassed when a beautiful lady like Sister Tillie was acting like this with me, but I found out over the past year that my baby body was affecting my mind. It wasn't big, but my young body had vastly different instincts from my previous one.
I found out that I had almost no libido. Right now, a beautiful lady was touching me all over my body, but all I felt was happiness. Having my tummy tickled wasn't exactly enjoyable for me back on Earth, but now it was fun. The past year had been void of any entertainment or media, but it hadn't been boring for me. Mom always played with me when I was awake. Simple games like catching her finger before she could lift it from my chest, or choosing which hand she hid a marble in were extremely fun for me.
In normal circumstances, I would've felt violated that my mind was being influenced, but my situation wasn't exactly what someone would call ‘normal.’
I tried to speak words in response to Sister Tillie, but I still couldn't get it quite right. I've been practicing a lot over the months, and I felt like I'm almost there.
“Dah! Bwai bibou!”
“Aww, you missed me? Aunt Tillie missed you too. Don't worry, I'll make sure to make more time for you in the future. I'll stop assisting Lina in her chores so I could spend more time with you, huhuhu,” Sister Tillie said with a sinister glint in her eyes and a wide grin.
Woah, calm down there, sister. Your inner sadist is showing.
“Alright, it's time to bring you to the main room. They might get suspicious if I spend too much time alone with you.”
With how she could change faces that fast, I think they had plenty of reasons to be suspicious of Sister Tillie.
She reached over and lifted me. Before she could go back to the main room, however, I suddenly felt uneasy. Then I realized that my favorite blanket was still in the cot. Wait! Go back! I want my blanket!
I struggled in Sister Tillie's arms, stretching my baby hands towards the cot.
“Hm? What is it, Brogen? Did you want something?” Sister Tillie had a look of confusion on her face, but I didn't bother to respond to her and just continued reaching for my blanket.
After a few more seconds, Sister Tillie finally realized what I wanted and reached over for the blanket.
“Did you want this?”
I answered her by snatching the small blanket and hugging it as close to my body as possible. When I did, all the unease I felt earlier instantly disappeared as if they weren't there in the first place. Ah, finally. My good ol' blanket.
My behavior was pretty weird, but Sister Tillie just shrugged it off as one of my childish acts or something. I didn't have an explanation for this weird behavior. I started having this urge back when I was six months old when I suddenly felt an attraction to blankets, garments, curtains, and anything else that was made of fabric. I felt extreme comfort and reassurance every time I was touching any of those things, but if taken away, I panicked and cried. Weirdest fetish I've ever seen, and I had the unfortunate luck to have it.
Sister Tillie finally brought me to the main room. I looked around and saw the other women in the house. Mother Betha was just lounging around on the couch, inspecting the little fabrics and clothes that Mom stitched during her free time. Maybe my fetish for fabrics runs in the blood. I'm gonna have to ask Mom in the future.
On the other side of the room was the dining table, which was filled with a lot of food. My mind was confused as to what we were celebrating, but I just appreciated the fact that there was some new food I haven't tried out yet. I was starting to get tired of the bland oatmeals and bread we ate every day.
Standing by the dining table was Sister Lina, placing plates and tableware and making sure everything was in order. I could also see that she was trying her best not to sample any of the food arrayed before her. A nun who indulges in the Sin of Gluttony. You don't see that every day.
The door that led to the backyard opened as Mom entered carrying a tray filled with freshly baked pastries. Calling the space behind our house a backyard was probably an overstatement. It was more like a small fenced-off space where we cooked our meals and took a bath.
The assortment of smells from the food reached my nose and my mouth began to water. I didn't realize I was already pretty hungry. Mom still hasn't fed me any of the good ol' breastmilk.
Even though I could eat any food now, I still preferred Mom's milk. It was probably my baby instincts acting up. Not that I'm complaining.
Mother Betha stood up from her couch and approached Sister Tillie. “Looks like the birthday boy is finally here.”
The old pastor grinned at me and caressed my head with her wrinkled hand. I was starting to view Mother Betha as my grandmother this past year, and I'll admit I liked the old lady. Although I still made sure to always check her hand for any suspicious candy or something. Wait, what did she just say? Birthday boy?
I tried to recall the date when I first woke up in this world and found out that I didn't know it. I only learned of the date every time it was mentioned by Mom or some other person, but it's not like I have some convenient calendar with me to keep me updated. Is that what we're celebrating today? My birthday?
“Good morning sweetie, did you sleep well last night?” Mom bent over and kissed me on my forehead. I gave her a gentle pat on her cheek as my version of a greeting. I always liked it when Mom gave me kisses.
I saw Sister Tillie's expression change a bit out of the corner of my eye. I knew that face. It was her face when she found something new she could do to me. Don't you dare try to kiss me when we're alone, woman. Only Mom has that privilege.
“Hey, Brogen! How's my little friend doing?”
Sister Lina also bent over and kissed me on the cheek. What the hell, woman! I didn't allow you to do that!
If my greeting to Mom earlier was a gentle pat on her cheek, my greeting to Sister Lina was a slap to the face.
“Ow! How come he only slapped me and not you, Helly?!”
“Huhuhu, only I can get special treatment from Brogen, Linny.”
Mom had a smug look as she looked at me with confidence. Yeah, go show her, Mom! Plus, I don't like wet kisses. Sister Lina's kiss is more like a lick to the face. What are you, a dog?!
The author's narrative has been misappropriated; report any instances of this story on Amazon.
Sister Lina just pouted at me as she went back to her job of preparing the table. I looked up to Sister Tillie and also showed her my palm. Yeah, that's right. Try to kiss me and I'll also give you a slap to the face.
I thought I looked quite intimidating, but her reaction made me pause. She just… smiled, but with a hint of mischief. Mom, please don't leave me alone with Sister Tillie anymore.
“Oh, you must be tired carrying Brogen for so long. Here, let me have him, Tillie.”
“Oh… okay.”
Sister Tillie looked sullen as she handed me over to Mom. Finally, I'm in safe hands.
“Do you know why Brogen keeps that blanket with him?” Sister Tillie asked as she looked curiously at me. She was back to her professional and formal self.
“I don't know myself, Tillie. He just likes anything made out of cloth. I already had to empty one of my drawers of clothes to keep him satisfied.”
I saw Sister Tillie and Sister Lina look back at Mother Betha, who also met their eyes. I think I saw some kind of suspicion in their look, but I was probably just imagining it. Mom was busy looking at me tenderly to see the other women's reactions.
“Well, as long as it keeps him happy,” Mother Betha grunted.
“Can we eat now?”
Sister Lina was already sitting by the table, waiting impatiently for the go signal to begin.
“Lead the prayer to the Holy Mother first, you nincompoop.”
Sister Lina ignored what Mother Betha just called her and immediately started the prayer with a triumphant grin on her face.
I zoned them out while they were praying since I wasn't a religious person anyway. I didn't believe in god.
When my eyes wandered to the food set up on the table, I suddenly realized that this was the first time I celebrated a birthday for over a decade. When I was living alone, I never found the time to celebrate my birthday. At the time, I thought it was just a waste of money and instead focused on my work just to make ends meet.
But now that I was celebrating it again, it felt… new. Like it was the first time I was having a birthday party, and given the fact that I'm one year old, it technically was. And it felt good. But what made it one of the best parties I ever had was the fact that other people were celebrating it with me.
My mind reminisced on my birthdays back on Earth, and back to my first Mom. How she would prepare a surprise for me every time it was my birthday. I remembered the time she shut off all the lights and I ended up being scared to death. I remembered how I pretended to be brave so my cowardice wouldn't ruin the party. Mom, if only you could see me now.
I looked around me, and the faces of the few precious people in my new life greeted me. I have a family again, Mom. I was blessed with these people even after what I did to myself back on Earth.
I still had my anxiety attacks from time to time, and that was one of the few things I brought with me from my previous life. I wanted to escape my depression, but it's sticking to me like shit on shoes. The only thing keeping me together is Helen and these kind people from the Church. I don't know what would happen if I lost them again in this life.
The thought terrified me, but I banished it immediately from my mind. No, this life will be different. I'm already dead on Earth. It's time to leave everything behind. It's time to start anew.
My mind wandered to Christine's face, and then to my childhood friend and family who I never bothered searching for, Tin-Tin. The guilt of the past. It's time to move on. I can't do anything for them anymore. I had my chance when I was living my first life, but I already threw it away after killing myself. I'm a coward, and I would have to keep on living while knowing that, but I just have to keep on moving.
I tried to reassure myself that everything that happened in my previous life was behind me now. But why won't these tears stop falling?
I was crying, and I felt it. When I looked up, Mother Betha and the nuns were looking at me. Mom's hold on me was tense, and I could feel her gaze. I tried to will myself to stop before I could ruin the party. I just have to do the same thing I did back then. I just have to pretend everything's alright.
I bit my lip and hugged my balled-up blanket hard as I tried to stop the tears. I was silent, and the only thing indicating that I was crying was my tears. I looked at the other women in the room, and they were staring. They didn't say anything, they just looked.
I felt like I could stop my tears after a few more seconds to compose myself. Just a little bit more. Just hold on for a bit more.
Then I felt Mom caress my face. Her rough and calloused hand slid across my cheek gently to wipe away my tears. And she smiled at me. She showed me that smile again, that gentle smile I came to love. It was unfair. How could I ever stand up to that face? Haaa, gets me every time.
“Waaaaaah!”
“Shhh, it's alright, sweetie, mommy's here. She won't leave you.”
“Waaah! Ma, ma! Mama!”
“Oh! He called me! He called me mama again! That's right, sweetie, mama won't leave you!”
“Waah! Mama! Mama!”
That day, on my first birthday, I cried for everything I lost in my previous life, and also for everything I gained in the new one.
My depression still haunted me even in this new life, but there's no way in hell I'm letting that shit destroy my second opportunity.
It was another chance I didn't deserve, and I'm not wasting it.
●●●
“He's finally asleep in the bedroom. I put him back on his pillow fort, so he should be able to sleep soundly even though I'm not there,” Helen said as she exited the bedroom. Her eyes had a hint of worry, but no panic could be seen on her face. She wasn't the same inexperienced mother from a year before.
Mother Betha and the nuns watched Helen as she quietly closed the door to avoid disturbing Brogen.
“Does Brogen have trouble sleeping if you're not there?” Sister Lina asked the question while she ate, appearing calm and composed, but Helen noted the frequent glances she took at the bedroom door.
“In the first few months, I always see him lying awake in his cot every time I enter. I thought at first that he was just a light sleeper. But moments after I enter, he would always fall asleep almost immediately.”
Helen remembered how Brogen would stare at her for a few seconds every time she entered, and how he would slowly close his eyes once he was sure Helen wouldn't leave. It warmed her heart and at the same time left her worried.
“Bah, Brogen's probably fine. Children always find comfort in their parents, so understandably, Brogen would want his mother's company all of the time,” Mother Betha said as she drank from her cup of juice. “And it's common for babies to cry out of the blue, no need to worry about that.”
Mother Betha was reassuring the concerned mother, but she was also a bit worried. If Brogen was like any other normal child, she wouldn't bat an eyelid if they cried all of a sudden with no apparent reason. Children act like that all of the time.
But a child that had the attention of The Holy See? Now that was a different matter altogether. Any strange behavior must be scrutinized carefully. The problem was, Mother Betha had no idea what was considered ‘normal’ and what was considered ‘strange,’ so she had to decide on things based on her intuition. To make matters worse, The Holy See didn't send any further information regarding the situation. If Mother Betha wasn't old and frail, she would've gone to Mater to personally smack the shit out of the people in charge of giving orders.
“If anything ever happens, never hesitate to call on us, Helen,” Sister Tillie said. She loved Brogen almost as much as Helen did and viewed herself as his aunt. Although she made absolutely sure that she kept that to herself.
“I will, Tillie. Anyway, let's start eating before the food goes cold, shall we?”
The three women finally picked up their utensils and started eating. Sister Lina already started a while ago and was on her second plate of pasta and salad.
“So, are you finally sure about getting a job somewhere else?” Mother Betha asked. “We could always use some help in the chapel, you know.”
“I've decided to get a job, Mother, I'm sorry. I can't keep living off of your goodwill until Brogen grows up,” Helen said as she ate.
“No need to apologize, girl. I knew this day would come. It's not like we're never going to meet again, anyway. We still live in the same town.”
“Why do you have to leave, Helly? You can just work at the chapel forever. That way we don't have to be far apart from each other!”
Sister Lina was the only one who had complaints about Helen's decision. As far as she knew, Helen didn't need to work someplace else if working in the chapel was enough to keep her and her son fed and clothed.
“If I only had myself to worry about, working in the chapel would be fine for me, Linny. But I have to do this if I want Brogen to have a brighter future. I don't want him to end up like me.”
Helen had a dark look in her eyes as she remembered everything she had to go through up until this point, but it was gone as soon as it had come.
Mother Betha saw that look, but she chose to stay silent on the matter. Everybody had their own stories, and she didn't want to pry into other people's history like some gossip.
“Have you decided where you will work?” Sister Tillie asked as she dabbed a napkin on the corner of her lips before sipping her cup of tea.
“There weren't a lot of available jobs, but I did manage to find one... at The Drunken Farmer,” Helen said sheepishly.
The three women listening to her froze at the name. The Drunken Farmer was a bustling tavern in the center of town, near the Baronet's mansion. It was a relatively calm place during the day, but when the sunset, the place transformed into one of the rowdiest places in Erfeld. Understandable, given the fact that it was the only tavern in town.
What the three women dreaded was the dangerous working environment there. The patrons during the day were decent enough, but at night, the people frequenting the place were the dregs of the town. Gruff people who never hesitated on harassing women on the streets, much less the waitresses. There were bouncers in the tavern responsible for security, but it didn't minimize the danger that Helen was exposing herself to if she worked there. Although, it may be alright if she worked the day shift.
“You're going to be working in the day shift, right?” Sister Lina asked, her eyes boring into Helen's face.
“Um, I'll be working the night shift,” Helen said, almost a whisper.
“What?! Helen, you gotta be joking! A night shift?! In The Drunken Farmer?!”
“I know it sounds bad, Linny, but I have no choice. There are no openings for the day shift, and night shifts pay more. It's the only place I could get a job.”
“Of course it sounds bad because it is! Are you even thinking clearly?! There are incidents of waitresses being raped there, Helen! Rape! Even though the tavern is just a few streets away from the Baronet's mansion and the Guard's barracks!”
Sister Lina was almost hysterical as she looked at Helen with incredulous eyes. The Drunken Farmer's infamy wasn't simply just a bad reputation. Crimes have been known to happen there, especially to the people working there. The first advice parents in Erfeld gave to children was to ‘stay away from the tavern.’
Helen, on her part, wasn't budging on her decision.
“I need to do this, Lina. It's the only place that would accept a person like me who doesn't have any training or expertise in any sort of craft. I need to do this for Brogen.”
“If you think you're being selfless, then you're wrong Helen! What would you want us to do if something happened to you? What would Brogen do? If you didn't even consider the consequences your actions could have on Brogen, then you're being selfish!”
Sister Lina's eyes were red as tears started flowing. She was angry, but she was also feeling deep concern and sorrow for her friend's decision. She considered Helen as family, and she would never allow someone to do something to her, even if that someone was Helen herself.
“You don't understand, Lina! You're not a mother so you would never understand! I would do anything if it means Brogen doesn't have to live the same way I did! And if sacrificing a part of me means Brogen gets to choose his own future, then I will gladly do so!”
Helen was also crying at this point. Both women were already standing, and Helen's food was left unfinished.
Mother Betha and Sister Tillie were watching silently during the entire argument. Both of them agreed on every point that Sister Lina made, but in the end, they knew that they never had the right to dictate Helen to do otherwise. They knew Helen for almost two years now, and they knew the young woman wouldn't simply back down once she made her decision.
The argument was basically finished as the two women weren't talking anymore. They were just crying. Mother Betha chose that moment to speak.
“Are you two finally done?” the pastor asked as she looked sharply at the two. “This is probably one of the worst birthday parties I have attended in my entire life. A birthday party where the birthday boy is absent and half of the remaining people in the room are bickering.”
Both Helen and Sister Lina felt shame and sat down like children being chastised by their mother.
“Helen's decision may be rash and stupid, Lina, but that doesn't mean you could dictate what she should and should not do. You of all people should know that. The Holy Mother never lacked in Her teachings when it comes to emphasizing free will, and a nun of the Holy Mother Church who doesn't heed those teachings are punished.”
Sister Lina looked at Mother Betha with scared eyes. This was the first time the grumpy but kind pastor meted out official punishment as the head of the Erfeld parish. She had no idea what kind of punishment she would receive.
“Mother, I'm sorry, I'll never—”
“Shush! I'll give your punishment later when we get back at the chapel. As for you, Helen,” Mother Betha looked at the young woman. Helen had shame written all over her face for fighting with a nun of the Holy Mother Church, even if it was her friend, but the unyielding determination was still present in her eyes. A fine mother, indeed, Betha mused.
“I understand your decision to do this Helen, but it doesn't mean I approve of it. Nevertheless, I wouldn't stop you from doing what you want, as long as you follow the guidance of the Holy Mother. Just remember that we will always be here for you. Sister Lina was just deeply worried for you as her close friend, so I hope this little argument wouldn't cause a rift in your relationship.”
Helen immediately looked at Sister Lina and smiled sheepishly. “Don't worry Mother, I completely understand. And thank you, Linny, for being so concerned for me. But I have already decided, and I'm not changing my mind.”
“I know, Helly, I know.”
Sister Lina smiled sadly at her friend. She wanted to feel relieved and happy that her relationship with Helen wasn't damaged in the least. But she was still disappointed that she wasn't able to discourage Helen from her decision.
“Just be careful, okay? Visit us in the chapel every day so we know you're alright. And leave Brogen with us if you're at work, okay?”
Helen laughed at Sister Lina's concern. She stood up and hugged her friend tightly, cherishing the moment.
“I will, Linny. I will.”
As the two friends reconciled and the situation finally calmed down, the four women in the main room had no idea that the child in the next room was awake. He heard and understood every word they said.
Mother Betha and the two nuns left shortly after. They still had a mass to conduct and couldn't spend too much time in Helen's house.
After Helen cleaned up everything and stored the leftovers, she went to the bedroom to check on Brogen.
When she entered, Helen saw Brogen looking at her with red eyes. He must've cried when I left him alone in the room.
“Oh, I'm sorry for leaving you alone in the room, sweetie. Don't worry, mommy's back, you can sleep now.”
Helen lifted Brogen in her arms and started swaying him back and forth. Her earlier argument with Sister Lina lingered in her mind, and when she looked at Brogen, her eyes shone with determination. I'll do anything for you, Brogen, so just focus on growing up to be a good man, okay?
As if reading her mind, Brogen reached up with his little arms and touched her cheek. His mouth started uttering garbled words, but after a few tries, Brogen was successful.
“Ay wuv yu. Ay wuv yu. Tek yu. Tek yu.”
Helen didn't understand Brogen's words at first and just smiled sweetly at her son as he tried to speak. But when Brogen kept repeating the words, she finally understood.
“Ay wuv yu. Ay wuv yu. Tek yu. Tek yu.”
Helen's vision started to blur as her eyes teared up for the second time that day. She hugged her son to her chest as he kept repeating the words. Brogen's voice trembled as he also started to cry.
Helen realized that her son may be smarter than she thought, that he could understand her words and everything else she did. That would explain his strange behavior all this time. It would explain why her son would cross his arms every time she did something stupid, or why he would cover his eyes every time she changed her clothes in front of him. The only thing that prevented her from realizing that fact was Brogen's inability to speak.
But now that Brogen could understand and form words, however garbled they may be, she realized that her son may be different from the rest.
She should've been frozen in shock and left speechless. Other mothers would have been surprised if they realized their one-year-old babies understood everything they did around them. But Helen didn't care one bit. At that moment, all she cared about was her son's message to her when she finally understood him.
I love you. I love you. Thank you. Thank you.
The mother embraced her son while she cried and thanked the Holy Mother for the greatest blessing she ever received in her entire life.
●●●
April, the Year 1219 A.C.
“Wow, look at that worm, Tedd. I bet it could burrow into my head and eat my brain if it managed to crawl on my bed at night.”
I was watching an earthworm crawl on the windowsill. It wasn't actually an earthworm from Earth, it just looked like one. Except for the teeth. I'm pretty sure earthworms from Earth didn't have sharp teeth.
The worm had a mouth that was similar to a lamprey's, and it used those pointy little teeth to dig a hole through the wood of the window frame. An infestation of these little buggers is probably a lot worse than termites.
“Should we kill it?” I asked my trusty little friend I was carrying in my arms, Tedd. A stuffed bear looked back at me with his eyes made of buttons.
“Do you even need to ask? These pests are nothing but a pain in the neck for house maintenance. No need to add more burdens on Mom,” Tedd said in a high-pitched voice. Definitely not my high-pitched voice.
“You're right, Tedd, we have to help Mom as much as we can!”
I stared at the worm. At the gross-looking worm. No way I'm touching that.
“So, how do we kill it?” I asked Tedd.
“Just squash it with your palm.”
I looked at Tedd in the eyes.
“I shouldn't. It has germs. I don't want to get some kind of disease from a monster worm. It probably won't end well.”
“You're just scared.”
“Am not!”
I looked indignantly at Tedd. How dare he call me a coward! Me? Scared by a little worm? A worm with sharp teeth that could probably dig through my flesh and eat me from the inside out?
I looked at the worm again. It was eating through another part of the wooden sill. I swear I could hear faint crunching noises. Yeah, I probably am.
“I'm going to get a slipper. Just stay right there, Tedd!”
“I can't even move in the first place, you idiot.”
I went to the main room to find the slippers Mom gave me on my third birthday. I found it beside the small table where Mom sewed garments whenever she had free time. She always told me to stay away since I could hurt myself with all the needles and pins scattered all over the area.
I picked up the slipper and went back to the bedroom. I passed by Tedd's little sister, Cuddles, who was chilling on Mom's bed with her cute little bow tie attached below her chin. That's right, Cuddles, stay there and guard Mom's bed against the evil monsters lurking beneath it.
I got back to the window and climbed the little stool I placed there so I could look outside. The sun had already set several hours ago, and it was approaching midnight. It was already way past my bedtime, but I wanted to wait until Mom got back home. In the meantime, I had a worm to exterminate.
“Alright, I got the Legendary Slipper, Tedd! The Wormsbane!”
“Stop acting like that, it's embarrassing. You're supposed to be twenty-nine.”
I fit the slipper on my hand while grumbling. It's not my fault my mind is being childish. I'm in a three-year-old body!
I raised the slipper, searching for the worm. It was gone.
“Tedd, where is it?! You should have kept an eye on it!”
“I can't see, you twit! I'm a toy!”
I scanned every inch of the window sill, trying to find the monster worm while my throat felt sore from speaking high-pitched voices too much.
“Aha! It fell on the ground!”
I jumped down from the stool and whacked it with my slipper. I felt its soft body squish against the slipper. Ew.
When I lifted the slipper, all that was left was a splat of worm guts and chipped wood filings. Probably the wood in its stomach.
I stood up and performed a Guts pose in front of Tedd.
“Alright! Threat eliminated!”
“Nice work, idi— cough.”
My throat was hurting too much already, so I just picked Tedd up and put him beside Cuddles. Looks like play time's over.
I threw myself on Mom's bed and lay there with my arms and legs spread out. What the hell am I doing?
Every time I played with myself, my young mind was enjoying it, but afterward, my older self just feels embarrassed. It was confusing. Well, at least I'm having fun.
As I lay on the bed and stared at the ceiling, my mind wandered back to the past two years. I learned a lot more now that I knew how to talk. I sometimes found it weird that the language used here is English as well, but I never paid too much attention. As long as it's convenient for me, I don't mind it one bit.
When I learned to talk, it made my life a whole lot more interesting. I could ask questions that always burned in my mind every time I saw something new. And, of course, the first thing I asked about was magic.
Based on the few people I could ask, I summarized the information I gathered and made my conclusion. Basically, magic is the manipulation of mana to do impossible stuff and bend nature to your will, according to Mother Betha.
The pastor explained to me that the mana used in magic serves as the fuel. No mana, no magic. My theory was that mana was just another type of energy that could transform into any other form of energy. It was a goddamn stem cell in the form of energy!
I wanted to know more about magic, but Mother Betha was being tight-lipped about it and told me she would teach me once I'm older. A huge waste of time!
Since I couldn't play— I mean, train with magic, I instead searched for other ways to entertain myself. Now that Mom was working, there was simply less time I could spend with her. She went to work at dusk every day, and when she got back home in the middle of the night, she would be tired and sleepy.
I found my new source of entertainment when I tried making my own stuffed toys. Mom already had her sewing paraphernalia, so I just used that to try my hand at making some stuffed friends. My attempt was… unsuccessful, to say the least.
All I managed to do was stab my hand several times while trying to thread the needle. My small hand was still too clumsy and lacked the finesse I needed to do fine work like sewing. When Mom caught on to what I was doing, she was furious. She didn't spank me like any other mother would since she was too kind, but what she did was frown at me and give me the cold shoulder for the whole day. It was worst than a spanking.
After that incident, Mom decided to make the stuffed toys herself. It was one of the best moments of my second life. My unexplainable attraction to anything made of fabric worsened over the years, so when I received Tedd as my first toy, I was ecstatic. So much so that I tried my hand at sewing again to try and make another toy. And again, Mom caught me. After a repeat of events, Cuddles was born.
I looked around the room and saw all the stuff scattered all over it. I no longer slept on the cot but instead, I slept beside Mom every night. That way, I would know when she got home.
Scattered all over the bed was a veritable amount of blankets and pillows that I put up on the sides of the bed. It served as a wall to deter any monster that might come for me while Mom wasn't home yet. Fine work on my part, if I do say so myself.
Cuddles' and Tedd's place was on the foot of the bed, the only part without a wall of pillows. They served as my guardians so no monster could pull at my legs while I was asleep. I stood on the bed and grinned at my handiwork.
After a while, I suddenly felt gloomy. My earlier enthusiasm waned as my mood suddenly turned sour. I laid down on the bed and felt lethargic. If I had something that I could call a souvenir from Earth, it would be my depression. Heck, I could even call it my family, since it would ‘never leave me behind.’ The occasional mood swings were proof of that. The only thing I could do is ignore it.
After a few minutes of lying on the bed, I suddenly heard the sound of the door in the main room opening. Mom!
I shot up from the bed and turned off the light from the lantern placed on top of the dresser. I jumped back on the bed as fast as I could and closed my eyes, pretending to sleep. I was hugging my favorite pillow to make it more believable.
Before I turned off the light earlier, I made sure to check the clock.
1:31 am
It was later than the usual time Mom got home.
As I lay on the bed, I focused my hearing on the main room. I heard Mom shuffling her feet on the floor and the sound of the couch sinking beneath her weight. Hm, that's weird. She usually checks on me to see if I'm asleep. Of course, I always fooled her into thinking I'm asleep, hehe.
I waited for a bit, and I suddenly heard a soft grunt. Did it sound a bit… pained? I remained still on the bed as I tried to listen more closely.
“Ugh…”
It was Mom. Was she doing something? I wanted to peek through the door, but there was a high chance she would see me if I did. When I heard another pained moan, I decided to take a quick peek.
I got up from the bed quietly and tip-toed my way to the door. As quietly as I could, I opened the door slowly until I could finally peek through the small gap. I brought my eye to the gap and looked.
Mom was sitting on the couch. A single lantern was lit on the dining table, illuminating her figure but casting many shadows around her. Her smooth, pale skin was dotted with bruises, and her silky black hair was tattered. One of her eyes was swollen, and her lower lip was bleeding. Her clothes were in disarray and her breathing was shallow as she grunted in pain every time she inhaled. I heard my trembling voice call out.
“Mom?”
●●●
Helen saw the door to the bedroom open a bit. She knew Brogen was still awake. She always knew he would pretend to be asleep every time she got home, but she would play along every time.
She tried to call out, to tell Brogen to go to sleep so he wouldn't see her current state, but her side was hurting fiercely. She may have a cracked rib or two.
“Mom?”
She heard her son call out to her in a trembling voice. The bedroom door opened and revealed a small boy. His eyes were scared, and it was tearing up. His black hair was matted to his forehead that was slick with sweat. Helen's body was hurting, but she still managed a smile.
“Ah, Brogen, you're still awake? It's past your bedtime, sweetie.” Helen tried to keep her tone light, but the pain was unbearable. A pained grunt escaped from her lips.
“Mom, what happened?” Brogen's voice was quiet and shaking. He stood still by the bedroom door, his hand holding the doorframe tightly. There were several feet of distance between them and the lighting was terrible, but Helen could still see the glint of his tears from where she lay.
“Ah, this? Mom just had a rough night. Please, go back to bed Brogen. I'll be alright in the morning.” Helen tried to send him back to sleep, but she knew it wouldn't work. Brogen was too smart. She was grateful for it, but she wished that he wasn't for just this moment.
“Please, sweetie, go back to bed.”
Brogen wasn't budging. He just stared at Helen, his eyes wide open in terror. His tears were still falling, but he never uttered a sound. He was crying silently as he stood still. Helen couldn't bear to watch her son looking like that, so she put some force into her pained voice.
“Brogen, go back to bed. Please.”
Her son didn't react in the slightest. Seeing her son like this hurt Helen more than her current injuries. When she tried to talk to her son again, something changed.
The fabrics by the table where Helen sewed in her free time were moving. It was slow at first, but she saw it in the corner of her eye.
“What is—”
The fabrics shot up erratically into the air, spraying needles and pins across the room. A few got to Helen, but she ignored it and looked at her son to see if he was alright. A few needles struck him in the face.
“Brogen!”
The fabrics were moving in the air in erratic patterns. The bedroom door burst open as more fabrics came pouring out. Blankets, pillows, clothes, even Tedd and Cuddles were flying in the air. The stuffed toys' faces didn't have any special features and only consisted of eyes and a snout, but right now, it looked like they were frowning in fury.
The couch that Helen was sitting in was shaking, and the curtains were billowing like a storm was blowing wind through the open windows. Helen was terrified, but she still tried to get to Brogen.
“Brogen! Please, if you're doing this, stop it!”
Brogen didn't hear her. He was now crouching down, covering his ears with his hands while his eyes were shut like he didn't want to believe anything he was seeing.
Helen stood up with a grunt of pain, her injuries giving her a limp as she made her way across the room to her son. The short distance earlier now seemed like it stretched for miles. The blankets flying through the air whipped her repeatedly, and every time it hit one of her bruises, she would grunt in pain, but she kept moving.
After what seemed like hours, Helen finally reached her son. She crouched down, her injuries sending stabs of pain as she did so, and she hugged her son.
“Brogen, please, calm down.”
The blankets were still flying through the air, and Tedd was battering his small body against the front door repeatedly as if it wanted to search for the ones responsible for Helen's injuries.
“Please, stop this. I'm sorry for worrying you, but you have to calm down. You're hurting me, Brogen.”
In an instant, as if the strings controlling them snapped, all the blankets and clothes flying through the air fell to the ground. The curtains settled back down, and Tedd was on the floor. Cuddles was lying on the window sill, half of her body hanging outside.
Helen finally breathed a sigh of relief as she settled down, resting her back on the wall. She didn't know what to feel after witnessing all of that. She felt something gripping her arm, pressing down on her bruises there and making her flinch.
Brogen was hugging her arm, crying as he did so. Helen caressed his head and whispered to him.
“Help me get to bed, sweetie. I want to lay down. And you're pressing down on my bruises, it hurts.”
Brogen immediately followed her instructions and prepared the bed for her. He pushed away the few blankets remaining on the bed off to the side. Helen, despite the pain, was a bit shocked to see Brogen push aside all the blankets he loved so much without a second thought.
Helen laid down on the bed, her body finally feeling all the pain come back as the adrenaline rush from earlier disappeared. Her joints ached and she couldn't move her body. She looked at Brogen, who was standing beside the bed and holding her hand.
“I'll rest here for a bit, okay? Then we can go to Mother Betha when morning comes.” Helen smiled at Brogen, but he just stayed quiet. Her consciousness finally waned as her fatigue caught up to her. The last thing she saw was her son running out the bedroom door.
●●●
Mother Betha Cowen was once again disturbed in her sleep as somebody was knocking on her bedroom door like a madman. She got up as fast as she could and looked at the clock.
2:03 a.m.
“Mother! Mother!” Sister Lina called out from outside.
“Come in already before you break down my door!”
Sister Lina came in as soon as she got the permission, and she looked messy. She was still wearing her nightgown, and her face was a mess of snot and tears.
“Mother, it's Helen! She's hurt!”
Mother Betha immediately understood the situation and got up, not bothering to change out of her nightgown.
Sister Lina and the pastor made their way down the stairs as quickly as they could and saw Sister Tillie talking with a child by the open doors.
“Sister Tillie, what's the situation?” Mother Betha asked.
Sister Tillie still had her calm look, but she wasn't smiling. “Brogen came here a few minutes ago. He said Helen came home hurt. She's in a critical condition.”
Mother Betha nodded and immediately went out the door. “Sister Tillie and Brogen, with me. Sister Lina, you stay here in the chapel and be ready in case I call for you.”
“What?!” Sister Lina cried out incredulously. “I want to come! I need to be there for Helen!”
“It's an order, Sister. Look at yourself and see if you're in any condition to help your friend if you go there. You'll just be a burden,” Mother Betha said harshly before marching away with Sister Tillie and Brogen in tow.
Sister Lina stood by the chapel doors, her face contorted in anger and frustration. She was mad at the pastor for not letting her come, but she also knew she wouldn't be able to do anything helpful even if she did go. Mother Betha needed an assistant with a calm and clear mind, and she was far from both. The only thing she could do was kneel in front of the altar and pray to the Holy Mother for her friend's safety.