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1. Barbecued Meat

1. Barbecued Meat

Carl stood on a rocky outcrop jutting from the apex of a tall mountain. He had spent the last twenty hours slowly ascending the steep inclines of Mount Teton and to his delight had arrived just when the sun began to set. Although he had witnessed the beautiful view while ascending, he hadn't let himself truly enjoy it until now.

With his eyes closed and his arms outstretched, he tilted his face to the sky and let the chilling breeze wash through him. The wind was like small icicles piercing his skin, but the sensation was not painful, just awakening. Carl let his thoughts drift away, even from the chafing of his dinosaur boxers, and began to focus on his senses.

As his meditation teacher had taught him, he began to clear his mind and relax the tension in his muscles that had built up from the taxing climb. Meditation still wasn't easy for Carl, and he never found it anything but a bore. He had practically been forced to attend classes after his therapist made it clear that he needed to "find more inner peace".

It also didn't help that his teacher took to conversations like a runaway train with no brakes. Last week, he had asked about his posture and fifteen minutes later Carl had learned all about how giraffes are thirty times more likely than humans to get hit by lightning.

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Carl clenched his eyes shut and focused on the sparse sounds around him. He listened to the rustling sound of wind blowing through the nearby vegetation, the screeching call of what he assumed was an eagle in the distance, and the faint sizzling sound coming from the horizon.

Sizzling?

Without opening his eyes, he craned his neck as if to get better reception for his ears. It sounded like a good old backyard barbecue grill, something he had dearly missed since beginning his mountain climb. Carl cracked open an eyelid in the hopes of a magically appeared Texas Barbecue.

What the fuck?

Carl, in fact, did not see any sort of magical barbecue with perfectly roasted meat but quickly realized that he was about to become some himself.

What he did see was a giant ball of red-hot fire approaching him at about a thousand miles an hour. One moment it was a speck in the horizon, and in the next, it was in front of him. By the time the massive thing reached him, Carl realized there was no escape. The fireball looked to be about the size of the mountain he was standing on.

Carl had always wondered what his last words would be. Perhaps, "life was good", or "I'm satisfied", or even "be happy without me", but he decided to settle on something a little more sentimental.

"Damn, that's pretty big."

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