No One Hugs The Spider

Even after a week, Deatta couldn’t believe this was real as she watched the aliens all around her. As a hatchling, she loved reading books about the peoples of the galaxy and marveling at the pictures. She dreamt about seeing them, talking to them, knowing them. Of course, being a new species far out in a galactic arm, there weren't many books available. Her sisters never understood her obsession with aliens but swelled with pride when she won the honor to be accepted as the first diplomatic student from their world. It took every credit her family had to send her here, but she wouldn’t let them down.

The hallway was getting uncomfortably crowded as the classrooms emptied for mealtime. Being half the height of the other species and twice as wide, she could not see through the sea of bodies around her. And some of them also could not see her until they nearly collided. The air turned into a pungent soup as student after student scrambled out of her way, adding their scent to the mix.

She hurried forward with the other students and paused with relief in the center of the common area to let the other students pass around her as they made their way to the various food stalls. It was fascinating to watch how they moved. They gave her plenty of room as they passed, but as it grew even more crowded, some students came uncomfortably close. The ones with four or six legs moved nimbly around her, but more than once, the ones on two legs fell backwards trying to go around her. How did those with only two legs stand much less walk? She could rear back and stand on only six legs, but she doubted she could carry her weight on just four legs. Balancing on two was impossible.

The air was filled with noise. All of the other students made soft sounds from their mouths like musical instruments. But students who came very close made loud barks that her communicator couldn’t translate. She guessed it was some type of apology. 

Several students stood unbearably close together in front of the stall Deatta liked best. Perhaps they had grown accustomed to close quarters. She waited until there was enough room before she waded through the crowd. The students politely parted before her, but she noticed they made no such effort for anyone else. 

Deatta reared back on her hind legs to see over the counter. “Excuse me. I’d like a plate of dried insects, please.” 

Before her communicator could translate, the attendant jumped back, and her eyelids did that twitchy movement everyone did at their first meeting. It was several seconds before the attendant nudged a plate toward Deatta’s outstretched claw. In all her readings, she had yet to find the meaning of this movement of eyelids. But Deatta didn’t have them, so maybe this was something all the others shared and understood.

She turned to look for a place to sit. Most other species were taller than they were wide, so there were few places she could sit without being uncomfortably close. The first place she found was where someone with a teacher badge sat alone. Even students trying to find a seat avoided that table. The teacher’s appearance matched a species called human. Everything she read about them warned that they were dangerous, but this one appeared small, soft, and unthreatening. 

Deatta decided to avoid the human, but noticed two students leave a table where a Felisian classmate sat talking to a Canid. She hurried to the vacated spot and put her tray down. The fur puffed out on their bodies when she sat down. “Hello, Marmak.”

Marmak smiled and motioned to Deatta with a paw. “Rax, meet Deatta. She’s from the Galaxy’s first Arachnid species.”

Deatta turned her fangs in her best imitation of a smile. “Pleased to meet you, Rax.”

If he smiled, she couldn’t see it as he lapped at his drink, but his eyelids twitched. “Pleased to meet you, Deatta.”

The tone of the voice was lower. That might mean this was a male. It was strange that males of most species were larger than females, and stranger still that they were intelligent. The two of them continued a conversation that Deatta struggled to understand. It was clear from their low volume that they didn’t want their words to be translated.

Deatta ate her meal slowly, hoping for a lull where she could join the conversation. Her legs tensed as Marmak’s hand reached for Rax’s face. The moment they touched, Deatta jumped back with a screech, and tumbled to the floor. She scrambled to get her legs under her and looked for a place to run. Strangely, everyone had stopped, looking at her. No one seemed upset; not even Marmak. 

Marmak peered over the edge of the table. “Are you okay?”

Deatta waved a claw at the male. “You touched him.” 

Marmak just stared. Rax’s ears twitched, but he seemed calm.

“This isn’t an attack?” 

The fur around Marmak’s eyes bunched for a moment but loosened and she smiled. “Attack? Why would I do that? We’re friends.”

Deatta wanted to run, but she crept back onto the stool. Friends. There was no direct translation in her language, but that enigma was what drew her here. It was like sisters but not without being related. This enigma fueled all her dreams and ambitions. The more she learned about it, the more she wanted it for herself, yet she barely understood it. How did one make a friend? “Why did you touch him?”

Marmak chuckled. “It’s what friends do.”

Is touching required in a friendship? Could she touch someone or be touched and not want to kill?  “Does it hurt?”

“Of course not.” Marmak’s ears twitched. “It feels nice. Doesn’t everyone know what a hug is, or a pet, or a kiss?”

Heat radiated through Deatta’s carapace. “I don’t know these words.”

“This is a pet.” One of Marmak’s hands brushed the fur between Rax’s ears.

Deatta shuddered. She envied the other species. They could turn their heads and not see or simply close their eyes. She had 360-degree vision and couldn’t close her eyes.

“And this is a hug.” Marmak threw her arms around Rax and pulled his upper body toward her. As if in reflex, his arms wrapped around her, and they inclined until their heads rested on the other’s shoulders.

Deatta flinched but did not pull away. She still needed to understand. To make this her career, she’d have to master her fear in the face of alien behaviors.

“This is a kiss.” 

Marmak pressed her muzzle to Rax’s. 

Terror filled Deatta at the thought of alien teeth being so close. A painful tingling sensation radiated through her pedipalps as she imagined warm alien arms around her cephalothorax. “Is that a mating ritual?”

Marmak’s eyes narrowed as she looked at the Canid. “Well, it could be. So, your kind never touch?” 

“Only when—" Deatta couldn’t bring herself to explain what happened between males and females. “I’m afraid of being touched.”

“You don’t have to worry about that. No one will ever touch you. Your hideous.” Marmak and Rax picked up their trays and left.

Deatta was stung to her heart. If everyone found her ugly, no one would ever be her friend. The longer she thought about it, the clearer her thoughts. Her desire for friends impossible for her kind. “I can’t do this. It was a mistake for me to come here. Such a waste. My family, their sacrifice, all those years of work, my dreams…” 

Some time later, she looked around. There was almost no one in the common area. She was missing her class, but it didn’t matter.

There was a soft whistle. It was someone saying hello. The human professor looked down at her. “You speak my language.” 

“A few words only. Very hard.” 

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It took concentration to make out the teacher’s words.

The teacher smiled and switched to Standard. “Hi. My name is Teresa. May I join you? She moved her chair to Deatta’s table.

“You didn’t do that thing with your eyes.” 

“Eyes? Ah, I understand. The other students are afraid of you.”

“Afraid of me? Why? They are bigger, stronger, and have teeth and claws. I’m not even venomous.” 

“Fear of spiders is instinctual in most species.”

If they were afraid of her, could any of them ever be her friend? Was she doomed to live in disappointment? “But you aren’t afraid, are you?” 

“I have the same instinct, but I don’t let my fear control me. Just like what you are doing now. I saw your fear, and I watched you overcome it. Not many students show such promise so soon. You will be a great diplomat someday, not just for your own species, but for anyone lucky enough to meet you.”

“But I can’t do this.”

“Why not?”

“I want friends, but I can’t touch anyone or be touched.”

“You don’t have to touch someone or be touched to have a friend.”

Deatta felt a glimmer of hope where there was none before. 

“I know something of your species, and I understand that you face unique challenges, but I think you’ll make a wonderful diplomat someday.”

“Really?”

“Absolutely. That is not to say it will be easy. As difficult as it is for you, many species will find it just as difficult not to touch or be touched, and they will not have the strength you have already shown.” Teresa leaned back and her eyes closed for a moment. “Yes, this could be a problem, but I think you can overcome it.”

“How?”

Teresa moved her chair closer and held out a hand. “Place your claw in my hand.”

“What? No.” 

Teresa lowered her hand. “Do you think I want to harm you?”

“No.” Although Deatta half expected this human to behave like one of her species. And if not, wasn’t everyone afraid of the human?

Teresa nodded and moved her chair back. “I will not force you, but I think you could do this.”

“Why is everyone afraid of humans?” Deatta hoped that wouldn’t sound like an insult. “Humans don’t look very intimidating.”

The teacher was quiet for a moment. “When we first went to the stars, many worlds were at war. It was not long before one attacked us, and another, and another. It seems that we have no rival in warfare. Everyone wanted us as an ally, but we remained defiantly neutral, so as we expanded, they allied against us. It is strange how the greatest peace the universe has known is in fear of us.”

Deatta could see how the best of intentions could be misinterpreted and isolate the humans. It made her feel a certain kinship with Teresa. But she felt a twinge of guilt for having her doubts just now. Could she really do this? A claw would grow back. “Maybe I can do this.”

“I think you need this.” She held out a hand.

Deatta raised a leg. “But you don’t know how this affects my kind. We have very strong instincts.”

The human breathed deep. “You’re right. I don’t know what this would do to you emotionally or if you can control your instincts. You could do some terrible damage to me with your fangs. But I trust you won’t intentionally harm me. And I assure you that you’re in no danger from me. Put your claw in my hand.”

Bracing for pain and to defend herself, Deatta’s claw hovered over the human’s hand close enough to feel its warmth. Almost by accident, she touched the human. There was no explosion of anger in her and no attack from the human, nothing but delicious warmth. Her leg muscles strained, holding herself ready to flee yet maintaining this slight contact. Gradually, she relaxed. 

“There.” The human gently raised and lowered Deatta’s claw. “This is a handshake. It’s used by strangers or friends in greeting.

When the human took back her hand, Deatta felt relief, but also joy. She touched an alien. None of her sisters would believe this when she told them. And maybe she could live among aliens after all. If some could overcome their fear of her, she might eventually find a friend.

“Now brush my hair with a claw. It’s called petting.” The human leaned her head closer.

Touching the human’s hand was enough. “Is this necessary?”

“I think it is.” The human stood. “But if this is too difficult, we can stop. Maybe we can try again another time.” 

“No. I think I can do this.” Deatta raised her claw near the alien’s head but hesitated. “Is this a mating ritual?”

The human laughed. “No. We humans love to give pets to furred species but don’t care to be petted. Petting is part of a mating for some species, but most use it to comfort the receiver.” 

She didn’t react when Deatta ran her claw over her hair. 

The human raised her hand. “Do you want to be petted?”

“No,” she hissed, causing the human to jerk back. “I don’t think so,” she whispered.

The human studied her then stood. “Now, wrap your forearms around me and pull me close. This is a hug.”

Deatta waved her pedipalps in terror. To touch with a claw was one thing. Something this intimate was unthinkable. “No. I can’t.” When the human defiantly stood her ground, Deatta wailed. “It’s too close to fighting. I’m afraid.”

The human didn’t relent. “I know”, the human whispered. “Don’t be.”

Deatta stood, reared back and raised her forelegs but couldn’t move.

The human stepped between her outstretched forelegs. 

Deatta’s hind legs trembled as the human slowly reached out and placed its arms around her cephalothorax. Dread filled her, but there was no pain. Slowly the warmth of the human’s arms lulled her fears and her forelegs closed around the human’s waist. They stood there for the longest minute Deatta ever experienced. 

The human moved ever so slowly until they pressed against each other. 

Deatta’s legs gave out, but the human supported her. “This is a hug. It’s reserved for friends, never acquaintances.” 

The human’s scent was pleasing, and the warmth of her body was intoxicating. Deatta would never have stopped, but the human slowly pulled away. Only an hour ago, she thought she’d never experience these things. Then it struck her. “You said hugs were for friends. Never acquaintances.”

“I did.”

Deatta almost couldn’t ask, afraid of the answer. “But are we friends?” 

“We both took a great risk and overcame our fears because we care for each other. That is the very definition of friendship.”

“Then we are friends?” she squealed.

“We are.” The human stopped smiling. “Now, there is a thing called a kiss. You can look it up. I’m sorry, but it is a bit too intimate.”

Whatever this kiss was, Deatta didn’t care. Instead, she reached out and gently took the human’s hand in a claw. The human didn’t pull away but let Deatta direct her hand to a place beside her pedipalps, an area with many nerve endings but not too sensitive. She pressed the human hand there and brushed it against her carapace. It was intoxicating. 

The human stepped closer, placed her other hand on the other side of Deatta’s head, and brushed. 

Deatta folded her legs beneath her and would have fallen asleep had the human not released her. “I can’t believe I have a friend like the others.”

Teresa lightly touched Deatta who had no desire to pull away. “Not like the others.”

“No?” Deatta felt the cold of worry in her stomach.

“Your classmates’ friendships are based on a pleasing appearance or shared desire. Those friendships will soon fade. But you have something many of them will never have, one that never fades because it is based on the beauty of your soul and shared sacrifice.” The human was quiet for a moment. “Do you still want to leave?”

“Never. Never, my friend, Teresa.”

“Good. Are you okay, now?”

Deatta nodded. “I am very good, and late for class.” She stood. “There is something else where humans have no rival.”

“What is that?”

“Compassion.”