Despite the joy of the new outfits and the fun of teasing Moriko, Kazue was feeling quite nervous. Sure, Mordecai had given her all the instructions, which wasn’t a lot different than her normal avatar in many ways, but some part of her was still worried that she was going to mess this up. But there was nothing for it except to try, and her spouses were waiting for her, so she started by recalling her avatar.
From the vantage of just her core, she now examined the structure of her avatar’s pattern, scrutinizing it in close detail. Now she could see where it was flawed. The physical structures had imitated her original body, had produced the same chemicals, and had been functionally almost identical. But not quite. Instead of many little centers of physical code storing the information in individual tiny sections that functioned on their own, the shape of the flesh had been formed from the one copy of information her core had. Her core had been regulating everything, making the physical flesh react the way it was supposed to.
Kazue knew what real life was like now, having been involved so deeply in reforging it time and time again. So she took that code and copied it, then checked it against the information she had about her parents, and made sure that everything lined up. She’d never had the chance to examine her own body, so she could only guess that this information had been a gift from Mericume, and she sent a prayer of thanks to the goddess before she turned her attention back to the task at hand.
The organic creatures they’d evolved before had all come from somewhere. Re-spawning them was a matter of recreating what already was. But a truly functional body, its matter constructed from mana but entirely self-sustaining after the work was done, made from scratch … well, that was harder. Especially since it was still going to be an extension of herself. She had to keep that connection in place, or she’d be creating a mindless clone.
Thankfully there seemed to be guidance for that already built into their core. So she began building a new avatar pattern, much like the old pattern but done right. With that template to guide her, it didn’t take long to actually complete, but that ease also made her nervous, and she spent twice as long double-checking the new body as she had spent creating the details of its pattern. When she could find nothing wrong, or at least nothing incorrect, Kazue focused on pouring mana into the actual manifestation of this new body.
This incarnate avatar was an incredible investment of mana. Not only was she converting mana to a form of matter that could not be readily recalled, she was tying part of her current self to this other self. This wasn’t just a second brain, this was a more independent brain. Still hers, but not so immediately herself.
When Kazue’s avatar opened her eyes, she wobbled for a moment as she tried to adjust to this new perspective. Moriko and Mordecai grabbed her hands to help steady her, and she held on to them as she relearned how to use her own body all over again. Nothing was being automated or assisted by the core, and this time she had this sort of lag in the flow of information between her two selves. It was rather disconcerting.
When she recovered enough to pay attention to her surroundings and herself, Kazue suddenly realized she was naked. Of course she was naked, she’d known that was going to happen, but an irrational wave of embarrassment flushed through her and she curled her tail up between her legs and hugged it close to her chest to cover herself. “I, uh, oh, this is stupid, why am I being like this?” She couldn’t help but whine.
Moriko looked confused and worried. “Kazue? Are you alright? Is this normal?” That last was directed at Mordecai, who was gently amused instead.
“I did say she was going to be more like when we met her.” He said to Moriko. “It’s not a complete reset, but some of her advantages in coping with the limitations of flesh and for learning magic so fast are gone. But that is still our Kazue.”
“This is so undignified.” Kazue’s core grumbled.
“This is not fair.” Her avatar said at almost the same moment.
Then the dissonance grew for a moment as her two minds took a moment to synchronize. Her avatar looked nauseous from the effect. “Oh, that’s going to take some getting used to.”
Moriko guided her to sit down on the bed, and Kazue gratefully followed her lead.
“Hmm, I think it will help if you aren’t looking at the same location twice,” Mordecai said. “Your core should focus on the rest of the dungeon, and anywhere your avatar is not. It will be easier once you start traveling, though it will also take another adjustment when your minds and memories are more separated.”
Kazue grimaced at the reminder. There were a lot of things she was going to have to get used to. Her internal avatar had been a construct of magic. Her incarnated avatar was fully biological. She was going to actually have to eat instead of just being able to eat to enjoy it. And eating meant other needs too. Things she hadn’t had to worry about for the past few months.
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But she could feel her core’s attention had gone elsewhere, which was a relief. Then she realized that she was chewing on her tail which she was still using to cover herself up. She hadn’t chewed on her tail for months! She dismissed the thought with annoyance and sighed. “Well, I guess this is a good time to try on my new clothing.”
“You should wait a moment,” Mordecai said. “There is a detail we should take care of before we forget. You’ll want a protective tattoo.” Kazue looked at him blankly, and he grinned. “I mean, unless you are planning on not sharing a bed with me while you are here.” Now she felt heat flushing across her cheeks again. Right. That part of biology had to be dealt with too. Hmm.
“But your avatar isn’t running on proper biology either. You shouldn’t be able to have kids at all right now.” She said with a slight frown.
“True, that should be the case. But dungeons are very magic-rich places, and under the right circumstances, even a fully spiritual entity can father a child. Why take chances? Now, I have the skills and knowledge, it’s not a complicated enchanted tattoo, but the visible pattern can have some variations. So the question is, do you two want to match, and if you want to match, do you want to have a copy of Moriko’s tattoo, or do you two want a new design? I can remove Moriko’s current one if you both want that to happen.”
In the end, they settled on a new design, which Kazue drew out for Mordecai to copy. The tattoo had to be small enough to sit snugly just inside the hip, while also conveying a powerful amount of symbolic value. So Kazue settled on a rainbow opal framed by a wreath of rue and pennyroyal in the shape of a heart: the many colors of opal to protect the bearer from all disease; golden rue and lavender-purple pennyroyal combined the dungeon’s colors in two herbs known for interrupting pregnancy; and of course, the heart shape, to tie them together.
Getting the tattoo was an interesting experience. Birth control tattoos weren’t common in the Azeria clan, the low fertility rate led to every single pregnancy being celebrated by the community, so she’d never really thought about getting one.
Moriko was first, as her old one needed to be removed. Mordecai dispelled the magic and then used a variation of a minor healing spell that targeted the pigment. It also gave Kazue a chance to see the process. And to see Moriko’s response, which caught Kazue off guard. She hadn’t been expecting her wife to have that sort of response.
Mordecai was amused at the half-elf. “Pain-induced euphoria, under the hands of your husband.” He commented as he used his shadow to hold her down while he finished the work. “I imagine you’ve always leaned toward being a little heated after getting the tattoo, but I think I am going to make you wait. And watch.” Once the tattoo was complete, it was time to apply the cool, soothing salve over her skin that would prevent the buildup of scars. He took care to be slow and thorough in this process as well.
Kazue was torn between nervousness and anticipation. This put her in the right frame of mind to be just as responsive as Moriko to Mordecai’s ministrations, the very act of submitting herself to having pain inflicted creating a euphoric rush that combined with the intimacy to trigger other feelings, that her husband then helped thoroughly relieve.
She awoke sometime later to find herself tangled in the bed sheets with Moriko. After enjoying the snuggling warmth, Kazue reached out to contact Mordecai. And in her mind was only silence, from both of them. She panicked for a moment before she remembered what was going on.
Their bond was through their soul. Her soul was in her core. This body was a vessel for her mind, and the connection maintained by spiritual energy, but that left this version of herself without access to the soul-bond communication. This was going to suck. Which meant she was going to have to depend on Moriko to communicate with Mordecai for her.
Then her stomach growled painfully. Right, real flesh and blood body. And she hadn’t eaten yet. As she got out of bed, Kazue reflexively tried to summon a few plates of food, and was reminded of another limitation. It was really her core that could do things like that, she had just been able to use her avatar’s mind for part of the process. Without the tighter communication, her incarnate avatar didn’t have direct access. She sighed at the inconvenience, then called out, “Mordecai, could you come here and have some food with us? I can’t make my own.” And she not only couldn’t directly communicate with her rabbit friends, she would want to be washed up and dressed first anyway. Calling out like that got Moriko to finally stir awake as well.
“I’m sorry love,” Mordecai said as he manifested his avatar next to her, “I should have thought to have something ready.” He’d also conjured an oversized fluffy robe that was slightly warmed for her. Kazue gratefully wrapped herself into it as she settled down at the table, waiting as Mordecai conjured a robe for Moriko as well.
She could have asked her own core to conjure them food, but that felt weird to have to ask out loud for, and it was disorienting to get laggy information about the same space. She couldn’t even directly communicate with her other self, she just kind of got updates on what her core knew/remembered. And from what Mordecai had told her previously, even that was going to go away once she wasn’t in the dungeon’s territory. The only thing the connection would directly give then would be direction and distance to the dungeon, and a vague sense of what her core-self was feeling.
Kazue tried to put all of those thoughts out of her mind and focus on enjoying her meal with her husband and wife instead. The next few days were going to be spent getting ready for travel. Summer Solstice she was leaving to her core, they both knew how to set everything up for Zagaroth’s holiday.