My life really was over; and to put it simply, it was totally uneventful. So I believed crossing over was a simple matter, that this step crossing into death was simply another step out of this cold and forsaken wasteland. 

I tried to sigh but realized I couldn’t even inhale the Icey cold air I’ve been weakly breathing all this time anymore. In fact, I realized I couldn’t even feel the slightest sensation. I opened my eyes, or at least I thought I did, and what I saw was deep and dense darkness… There were no sounds from the winds of the storming blizzard rampaging about in the outside world. 

It feels quite languid… Is this death?

I thought this simple thought, but something very rapidly happened as my complete peace and tranquility was utterly interrupted by a very loud commotion of screaming and intense panting. It was like being pulled out of a baptism. 

“I-it’s aa-a b-boy!” 

A high-pitched, shrill screaming voice of an adolescent young girl could be heard, it was like she was crying and yelling at the same time.

“I-I’ve can’t believe it… The ritual… It actually succeeded…” She continued with her voice shaking all over the place . 

Did the television turn on? I’m sure I had nothing playing though. But could it please quiet down please? I’m trying to die in peace…

“so It is a boy… huhh…” the girl continued repeating herself in disbelief, quick footsteps could be heard creaking on the wooden floor. 

”R-really? Please…I need to see him..  put him in my arms…”

I heard another excited, also weary voice of an unfamiliar young woman become closer; and at the same time, I quickly felt like I was wrapped in the fluffiest of cotton as I felt the embrace of delicate, soft and warm skin.

Woaahh….Wait a second… Am I hallucinating right now?!

“Oohh to have just been born and to already be so noisy… There, there... Mother is here,” 

I felt Her breath softly on my cheek as her voice enchanted me. 

Hold on a moment... It couldn’t be, I should be dying; freezing on a frozen tundra. Am I reliving past forgotten memories?

It was difficult, but I slowly flickered my eyes open for the first time since my impending death; when I opened them, I was so stunned I couldn’t breathe. 

My entire view was filled by the face of an incredibly beautiful young lady. I could see her silky smooth hair run down towards me, it was an exceptionally dark blue,  like the dark midnight sky. Her doting, violet eyes paired with a loving smile that were formed perfectly was surging with passion; I was absolutely flabbergasted. Indescribable feelings started welling within me. 

Uhh… Who is this woman? Is this a dream? 

I slowly tried to reach my hand to her, but realized I couldn’t touch her face, but only her hair that flowed like a river down to me. I saw the reason why; my hand had been greatly shrunken, to the size of a newborn.

Seeing that I was grabbing at her hair, the young lady that held onto me laughed softly and used her finger to gently guide my tiny hand to cup her cheek.

I heard a giggle, 

“The baby looks soo cuteee,” 

It was from the young girl I heard first. This time she was more calm… I struggled to face the direction where the voice echoed from so I was only able to peek at the corners of the room. 

A case of theft: this story is not rightfully on Amazon; if you spot it, report the violation.

When did my vision become so blurry?

What I saw was floating lights; no, candles maybe? Why are the walls emitting faint fluorescence light? I could not see any closer and nor would my body move to my commands. So I had to rethink my previous thoughts.

So is this the afterlife? 

I wondered because I knew for certain that I was not in the same world anymore. The environment was completely different than when I thought I took my last breath. The first sensation I perceived was that it was not freezing cold, in fact I was pretty warm and cozy. 

“Ah Look at his face, he's smiling!” I heard the girlish voice again and to my luck, she moved her head into my tiny field of vision. Although she appeared to be a giant, I could see she was just a kid. Her eye-catching, emerald eyes appeared to be faintly shining, giving off a very indistinct pressure that made me slightly queasy…

What is this pressure?

“Ahh Sasha! Your glasses!”

 The young woman holding me hurriedly reprimanded her for an unknown reason. The young girl named Sasha seemed to realize her error as she quickly closed her eyes in embarrassment and left my vision, to find those glasses I guess. I tilted my head back to stare at the young woman holding me again. I find her looking back at me with intense worry. Was it that bad? It was only for a moment though as her face returned to normal.

“To even be so energetic even after what you went through. I’m so glad...” 

She whispered softly as she seemed to be cradling me in her arms, looking deeply into my eyes as if to permanently engrave the image of myself into her mind.  

“...Ohh… Kalein…. I wish you were here…” 

Her tone was lower than a breath,  but I was so close that I could interpret the profound emotions in her glistening, lavender eyes.

Who is she talking about? Wait-

It finally clicked. I thought up the only possible solution...

Did I… reincarnate? If I did… Then this woman holding me is… Damn I’m losing focus. How is this even possible?!

“Amazing…. Intelligent eyes that shine brightly as the Brightmoon over Chase,”

She giggled lovingly at my eyes and caressed my head while embracing me tighter; but there was no sense of suffocation, only warmth.

 ”My sweet little child… your name is now Johan Von Angru,” 

The young woman who appeared to be my ‘new’ mother smiled and stroked me gently. 

“My little Johan…”

Johan is my name now huh… Not too bad of a name. I guess… 

“Wahh! Uhhh… Wahhhh!”

“You don’t like it hmm? Don’t cry, my sweet Joan....” 

She furrowed her eyebrows while smiling and whispered teasingly.  It seemed like I started crying; but it wasn’t because I didn’t like it, I just can’t control my emotions very well in this body.

Suddenly the young women gently started singing. Her voice wasn’t loud. Only as loud as the soft whistling leaves of a tree, but it was a beautiful tune. It was a tune I had never heard before. It was so lovely and immersive.

When a baby cries

A knight will rise

Their enemies will die

And off into the night he rides

Until the baby is done crying

The knight will keep fighting...

The lyrics were a bit odd but it was the voice that mattered; seemingly imbued with a mystifying aura that made my eyes inexplicably heavier by the word, I could barely keep them open now. It was like she was casting a spell. It felt like I was falling into a deep slumber as I felt a minute of coldness encroaching.

Was this dream coming to a close now?! Please let me stay here…

I thought I already accepted this new life, but I still couldn’t help to think that this was all just a fake dream. Just a sweet damned hallucination. A prelude to what's next and what's waiting for me when I close my eyes. I was scared, it had only been a short time and I wanted to stay. I didn’t want to leave.

But Mother’s voice was too melodious, and I drifted into a deep slumber…

---

Damn it’s freezing... 

I weakly flickered my eyes open. Unsurprisingly, I woke up on my stomach with my arms sprawled wildly across the cold, bare concrete floor. I weakly turned my feeble body on its back and looked at the bare also-concrete ceiling. There was only one light bulb remaining that just kept flickering, like a human on its final breath. 

Hey, we have something in common. 

I feebly forced a smile at that thought. This light bulb was the last working electronic mechanism. The main heater gave out months ago and now I am relying on the last small portable heater that just barely works. It was unbearably. Fucking. Cold. The liquor I smelled in the air was the only remaining substance keeping me alive. I guess the last poptart I ate was about two or three weeks ago and the water went dry shortly after. I found my parent’s liquor stashed, weird since I never once saw them drink when they were still alive.  I figured they were saving it until after the great blizzard ran its course, but it never did. I grimaced at these old passing memories.

Was it because of the nukes?

 I thought bitterly. 

Enough of this.

I tried getting up but I couldn’t at first. I thought I was glued to the floor. It took an amazing amount of effort, but eventually I did. 

I made my way across the small dilapidated concrete bunker towards the entrance, which was just a thick metal door that was slightly taller than me.

Can I even open this?

I stared while thinking to myself at the piercing cold frost that already blanketed the handle. I thought to myself who struggled with a lot of effort to even get off the ground. I touched the handle to the door with my fingers. It was blistering cold, but it didn't matter anymore.  With no lingering hesitation, I gripped the frosted door handle with all my might and pulled downwards.

The metal door opened with great force and intensity. A flood of ice and snow rushing in towards me like a forceful river torrent. I opened my arms to greet it as it was my closest family. Finally it can all end for real this time, no more silly dreams of reincarnation…

I closed my eyes peacefully as I felt the sheer coldness of the torrent of cold ice snow overcome me and I fell into utter and complete freezing darkness.