The boy was sitting on their neighbor’s step a few houses down, watching two girls whip two long skipping ropes in time to a sing-song rhyme. Their braids danced around their heads, the beads on each braid clicking in time to the rope as it slapped the pavement. The boy watched an older girl jump in and skip double-dutch, laughing. Her hair, worn down and pin straight was blonde and waist length. It shone like sunshine on fresh rain. She had the most beautiful blue eyes he had ever seen, and he knew that Indie was in love with her.
The boy wished Indie could be sitting next to him watching the girls play. Ella watched the two younger girls during the day and was so good and kind to them. She reminded the boy of Wendy from Peter Pan. He had said that to Indie once and Indie had laughed.
“Then I’ll be her Peter Pan and take her to Never Neverland,” he had replied.
I’m a lost boy. The boy thought now.
“Hey, Rat.” He jumped as Jay sat next to him.
“Oh, hey.” He scooted to give his brother more room on the step. “No work today?”
“Nah, I took the afternoon off to spend with you.” The boy’s stomach flipped in excitement. He was afraid of Jay now, but he was still his brother and he loved him. “We gotta talk about important things.” His brother held out a stick of gum and he snatched it in greedy delight. He unwrapped the silver paper and stuffed the entire pink stick in his mouth and chewed slowly.
“Is Indie alright?” he asked Jay thickly around the gum. “I’m trying not to bother him.” He got quiet as shame stole over him.
“Yeah, he’s doing better. But you really did a number on him.” Jay did not soften the truth and it stung.
“I know. He tried to tell me. He said he felt sick when I did my tricks, but I always thought he was just bein’ a baby,” the boy admitted. He looked out at the street to the girls still skipping rope. Now Ella was turning rope and one of the other girls was skipping. He liked the way her pony beads sounded as she jumped up and down and wondered if she would give him one to keep.
Jay took out another piece of gum and unwrapped it with practiced ease. He took a bite of the stick and chewed slowly. His eyes tracked Ella as he thought. The boy saw him thinking of Ella in the same way the twins thought of Lissie: topless with wet lips pressed to his own. He flicked his mind into Jay’s, fast and sharp.
Stop it, Jay.
Jay glared down at him and nudged him with his elbow.
“You stop it, Rat. I ain’t doin’ nothin’ wrong.”
“I think I would like to learn how to keep other people’s nasty thoughts out of my head. They make me feel funny in my tummy,” the boy added. Jay smiled, his annoyance shattered by his brother’s candour.
“Yeah, it makes me real uncomfortable knowin’ you can see what I’m thinkin’, especially if they’re thoughts about girls.”
“I see a lot of those thoughts,” the boy admitted. “Not just from you but the twins and Indie, and Pops. His are the worst because he looks at girls like Ella and Lissie the same way you do. He’s so old, Jay. Don’t he wanna think that way about Momma?” Jay roared in laughter and shook his head.
“I dunno, Rat. Pretty girls make a man of any age look. You don’t ever see a pretty girl and think it would be nice to have her hold your hand or pet your head?” Jay asked him and he sounded genuinely interested in the boy’s response.
“Well, sure. But not just girls. Sometimes I’m real thankful that I’m Indie’s brother and get to snuggle him.” The boy knew it wasn’t the same way that Jay felt for girls, but it was the closest he felt to what his brothers felt. Jay chewed his gum with his mouth open and grinned.
“What do you think about boys? You think you might want a boy to kiss you?” he teased.
“I wouldn’t mind. I saw Adam and Ian kiss once and it made my tummy feel the same funny feeling when I see one of the twins kiss Lissie or whatever. Kissin’ makes me feel funny no matter who’s doin’ it.”
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“Well, that’s alright, I ‘spose. You got time before you gotta worry about kissin’ people.” They sat in silence again, watching the girls take turns skipping. Jay broke their comfortable silence first.
“What would you do if you found people like you, Rat?” The boy didn’t have to think about his answer. It was a question he had been asking himself for a couple of days, since he had hurt his brother.
“I would ask them how to keep from hurting Indie.” The reply rushed out of him like a wish.
“What would you do to be able to stop hurting Indie when you did your tricks?” Jay asked him in earnest. His tone made the boy look up at him.
“I dunno, Jay. I would like that a lot but…” he left his thoughts unfinished. He wouldn’t want to hurt other people instead of Indie and he wouldn’t want to send Indie away. He just shrugged his tiny shoulders and sighed. “I guess I’d do anything.”
“Because I met a man the other night that says he can help you learn. In fact, he would give Momma and Pops a lot of money if they just let him test you to see if you’re special in the same way he is.” Jay said to his brother. His eyes never left his tiny face.
“He can do things, too?” The boy asked in surprise. Jay nodded and popped his gum.
“His name is Mr. Avery and he could read my thoughts, just like you can.” His eyes left the boy’s briefly. The images of Ella flooded him before he shut them off. “He said he could keep you from hurtin’ Indie.”
“What kinda test is it? I ain’t even learned how to read that well yet.” His tiny frown was wrought with worry.
“I don’t think it’s a readin’ test, don’t worry,” his brother reassured him. “Maybe he just wants to see if you can see his thoughts or somethin’.”
“When’s he comin’?” The boy asked.
“As soon as you ask Momma and Pops to have him come.” The boy tensed. He didn’t want to ask Pops for anything right now. Indie told him to keep his head down and not bother him. But Jay continued. “If you wanna help Indie, you gotta learn what this man knows, Rat.”
The boy watched as Ella looked at a slim watch on her wrist and exclaimed. She rounded up the other two girls and wound the two ropes up in neat coils. She picked up two pairs of shoes and a third, single shoe. As she looked around for one of the younger girls’ second shoe, her eyes met the boy’s. She waved and smiled then waved again at Jay. He raised a hand in greeting and looked down to his brother. In his lap was the other shoe, covered in now-melting ice. The leather gleamed in the setting sun and the boy hopped up. He jogged to Ella and held out the shoe. She took it in hushed surprise.
“Sorry,” was all he said and then turned and bolted back to his brother. “You didn’t feel me take that shoe out, did you Jay?”
A stern expression was on his face, but he shook his head.
“I didn’t, no.”
“I’ll ask Momma to call Mr. Avery. I’m getting better at this every day, but I don’t want to make no more mistakes.” He stood up and started off toward home, leaving Jay behind him in irritated unease.
Somehow, between his twisting the truth to both his mother and his little brother, his parents had agreed to ask Mr. Avery to test the boy. Jay knew it was the money that convinced their father, but it was Rat that convinced their mother. He called Mr. Avery and a date was set for two nights later.
“Why at night all the time?” Jay asked before hanging up. Mr. Avery laughed.
“I’m a very busy man, James.” Then the line clicked and went dead. Jay relayed the conversation to his family.
“He’s comin’ in two nights, nine o’clock sharp. He said that a man called a Scout would be with him to do the actual test, but that he would oversee everything himself.” His parents were on the couch in the living room, the twins were within view behind them at the kitchen table, drawing. Indie, still pale and weak, sat wrapped in a heavy blanket on the floor next to the littlest one. Jay refused to address his father, instead deferring to his mother.
“What about the money?” his father asked, giving away his single-mindedness. “He gonna bring that then, too?” Jay merely shook his head.
“He didn’t say, but I’m sure he will.”
“I’m gonna come home from work early that day,” Two declared.
“Seems like a good idea,” Toe added in agreement. Their father didn’t say anything more, just grunted in response. Jay took it as him granting his permission for their short day.
“I’ll do the same, then I guess,” Jay said. His mother’s face looked blank. She hadn’t said a word.
“Momma.” the boy said from the floor near her feet. “Please don’t think that. If the twins are here and you and Pops and Jay, nothin’ will happen.”
“Stop it, Rat,” Indie whispered. “You scare her when you do that stuff.” The boy shrunk into himself as though he had been hit.
“Sorry, Indie.” Jay watched them together and felt a sudden intense feeling of regret. He had never loved anyone the way that Rat and Indie loved each other. The twins, by definition, shared a special bond. That left him as the odd man out, always on the fringe of their family but constantly expected to pick up the pieces and pull them through tough times. Unfair was an understatement in his books.