“This isn’t working out.” my partner says to me. Even in a noisy restaurant, their voice cuts right through. “What? Wait why we can work this out” I say back, shock and fear washing over me. “Bill, you eat people. You’re a literal cannibal”. I am utterly confused by the situation. Not confused because what they are saying isn’t true, but confused because they know this. “Yeah, but have I ever hidden that from you? In fact, I remember on our first date I said-“, My partner raises their hand and begins to finish my sentence. “Hi! I’m Frank, I’m a cannibal, and even though you look like a snack-“, We both finish the statement at the same time “I promise I won't eat you”. It probably wasn’t the best opening line but, we hit it off immediately and they didn’t seem to be too shocked by it.
The past six months have been great so, I really don’t know what the big deal is. “And have I ever tried to eat you, Tim? No, so why is this an issue now?”, “It’s always been an issue Bill” They reply back to me. “I mean sure I was open to trying new things but...” They trail off, trying to collect the right words “It's just too much” They let out in a sad-sounding voice. “What can I do to fix this? Please tell me” I beg. “Stop being a fucking cannibal. Bill, it’s weird and gross” Weird and gross? Who does he get off saying that what I eat is weird and gross “ Well” I scoff back “At least I don’t cut people open and take out their organs for a living. The people I eat are already dead.” They stare at me with a mixture of disgust and anger “I’m a fucking surgeon Bill. I help people for a living, you eat them for fun”
It's not just cannibalism that’s giving them the creeps, its something else. “I mean, where do you even get it? You said that the people are already dead but-“ I stop them there and don’t let them finish. “I have a guy, okay. There I said it!” The people in the restaurant are starting to look at us. I take notice of this and lower my voice. “You have…I human meat guy” Tim asks in a puzzled tone of voice. “Yeah okay, I have a guy who “for a fee” finds some already dead people and…” I look around at the restaurant to see if anyone is watching us. After I confirm it's safe I make a sawing motion with my hand “Oh Jesus Fucking Christ Bill” Tim replies as he buries his face in his hand. “and you know, sells me the meat.” Tim removes his hand from his face as he’s just had a startling thought. “Did you-.” he starts before looking around the restaurant. “Did you ever feed me human meat?” I pause for a moment as my throat feels dry.
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I take a sip of my water and before I can put my glass down Tim grabs me from across the table. “Did you ever feed me human fucking meat?” They say slightly louder. “No!” I reply unintentionally loudly. The restaurant stops and everyone turns toward us. “Sorry everyone” I let out coyly, as everyone goes back to minding their business. “No, I didn’t feed you human meat Tim” They release me and let out a sigh of relief. “Did you really think I would let you eat my super-duper expensive human meat?” They stare back at me like I just said the most insane thing ever. “Why are you like this?” They ask as if trying to get some sense of me. I look them directly in the eyes and put my hand on top of theirs.
They look at our hands for a moment and interlace their fingers in mine. “I know things are rough right now, but I promise you, we’re going to get through it” A small smile creeps along their face as they start to see the real me. “I love you, Dave.” The smile instantly vanishes and they pull their hand back “Dave?” They ask, “Are…are you cheating on me?” I have no words; I really wish it didn’t come out like this. “I….um-“ Before I can finish my sentence Tim throws their glass of water in my face and stands up “Fuck you! You cheating bitch!” They storm out of the restaurant and I am left at the table, soaked in water, with a subpar, non-human piece of meat on my plate.