I wasn’t kidding when I mentioned previously that there are parallel universes. As for how I came to know about them, that’s a story for another time.
Anyway, to keep a long story short, the version of me that I’ve told you about wasn’t the only me running around and getting into trouble. So, even though the me that I’m going to tell you about is me, I didn’t actually experience any of this firsthand. I’m still going to refer to that me in first-person, though, because it’s a bit weird telling the story otherwise.
…
Get all of that? If not, that’s fine. Most of the parallel universes aren’t exactly bastions of sanity in the first place.
So, without further ado, the story of the first parallel universe that I stumbled across.
----
Branch ID: c20e9477-8607-49c1-a709-647fb0af4198
Connection Strength: Average
Critical Divergent Point: Creaton of dave Species (Cross-reference, chapter 17)
Divergence Reason: Intelligence of dave species
Codename: Daveverse
Everything about this universe seems to have gone about the same way until I picked my first summon spell and summoned my very first dave…
----
“[Summon Dave],” I intoned. The lime-green ball of slime appeared and plopped to the floor. I was about to cast [Identify] at it but was shocked when the monster suddenly leaped directly at Jake and latched onto his arm.
“Get it off! Get it off!” he shouted while waving it frantically around.
“Dave! Down!” I shouted at it. The dave immediately detached and fell to the forest floor. It scrunched and looked like it was about to leap again. “Stay!” I called.
The dave flattened and turned to me. I was no expert in reading dave expressions, but it seemed confused at the command.
“Why the frick did it attack me?” Jake asked.
“I have no ide-Oh! I’m not in your party. Send me an invite?”
The dave was spinning in circles and glaring at each party member in turn. It also tried to puff itself up to look more intimidating… It didn’t really work.
Either way, the party invite went through, and as soon as I accepted it, the dave immediately relaxed.
“Huh. So it thought you were an enemy until I joined the party,” I said. “I guess the world really does have me in the bad guy faction.”
“That’s really bizarre,” Jake muttered. Then he walked over to the obelisk, reclaimed it, and then said. “Hey! There’s an option to teleport your party to the entrance! Let’s do that!”
There was a flash of light, and we were suddenly standing in the forest outside the dungeon entrance.
I was suddenly hit with a strange feeling and a minor headache.
“Why do I feel like I was supposed to accidentally be left in the boss room?” I muttered to myself.
I didn’t have too long to worry about it or about my dave that I had left behind. Howls meant that monsters were soon upon us.
----
Dave Prime sat in the dungeon boss room just as he was commanded. He wasn’t sure why he was being disciplined for attacking the master’s enemies, and he was even more confused when his instincts suddenly told him that they were both ally and enemy at the same time.
He puzzled over it long and hard when he finally figured it out. Oh no… Master Titus was attempting to either conduct diplomacy, or he was trying to pretend to be on their side! I almost ruined it! Dave Prime flattened into the floor. No wonder I was left behind. I’m sorry, master. I accept the punishment you have given me. I will stay right where you have ordered me.
----
I was alone for the night as we traveled south to the first dungeon, and out of boredom, I decided to summon some more daves and do some testing of their capabilities.
“[Summon Dave],” I cast. The ball of slime appeared and landed at my feet. It looked up at me expectantly… I think. Daves still didn’t have much in the way of facial expressions.
Either way, it was a bit disconcerting. “Creepy,” I muttered. The dave flattened down.
“Wait,” I said. “Can you understand me?”
The dave bobbed up and down.
“Holy frick. They’re sentient. Maybe even sapient. Are you more like a familiar or something? Can I only have one of you?”
The slime bobbed its sides up and down in a gesture that I took as a shrug.
“Right. Of course. How would you know? You were literally just born a second ago.” I shook my head. It flattened a bit, and I sighed. “Don’t worry about it. We’ll figure it out.”
What kind of tests can I run? I wanted to know some basics about it like damage, health, and any other resources, but I also felt bad trying to run tests on something that obviously had emotions.
I snapped my fingers. I had at least something I could figure out without worrying about hurting my poor summon. “Okay, dave, I want you to attack me, but just for a second. I want to figure out how much damage you do, okay?”
The blob wiggled uncertainly.
“It’ll be fine! Don’t worry about it.”
The dave nodded and then launched itself at me.
“Ow. Frick!” I shouted.
The dave immediately let go and landed in the snow. It looked concerned.
I waved it off. “It’s fine. Just a little HP damage. Now let’s check how much.” I checked and whistled. “Dang. 12 damage a second? That’s insane!”
The dave puffed itself up in pride. However, it didn’t last long. Soon we heard howls.
The dave shivered, and I said, “Don’t worry, okay? I can handle some mangy mutts. Just stay close, and I’ll keep you safe.”
The dave nodded and hopped closer to me.
However, I could no longer be sure that I could keep my promise. The wave had an alpha in it.
I took down leaping wolf after leaping wolf, but I accidentally turned my back to the real threat.
The alpha bowled me over, and I was stuck face down with it on top of me.
I couldn’t shake it off. It bit me and raked me with its claws. I was completely powerless to fight back.
----
Dave had been terrified. The wolf monsters with wicked claws and fangs would surely tear his slime to pieces.
However, Titus fought to protect him. Right up until the biggest monster caught him off-guard with a cheap shot.
Titus couldn’t get up. Dave knew he had to do something, so he bowled into the alpha monster without thinking any further.
The surprised wolf let out a howl and tried to squish him, but Dave was prepared. He jumped off and then reattached himself to the wolf’s side. When the wolf tried to scratch him off there, he shot out a tendril of slime to pull himself up onto its back.
The fight took only around 10 seconds, but it felt like an eternity.
When the wolf finally died, Dave flattened himself in relief.
However, relief wasn’t the only thing that he got to experience.
He was suddenly picked up and tossed into the air. “Great job, Dave! You’re a real alpha slayer!” Titus called out with a laugh.
Dave… No… Alpha Slayer was overjoyed. He now knew his real mission. To continue to make his master proud.
----
After that attack, we didn’t really have any more problems that night. There were no more alphas, and with the help from my dave, the fights were a piece of cake. I also summoned some more as the night went on, and soon the daves no longer even needed my help.
This is how a [Demon Lord’s] supposed to be, right? I nodded to myself. I mean, you never see a [Demon Lord] fight until the last battle.
I was so happy about finally getting to the useful part of my class that I barely noticed that my first dave no longer replied unless I called it Alpha Slayer. Not that it mattered much, I needed names to start keeping track of them anyway.
When morning hit, I told the daves to wait and then went and grabbed Jake so that he could loot all of the bodies. The daves were also helpful with that and made sure to drag bodies over to him to make it go faster.
I was very proud of the little guys.
“So… Are you planning on taking all of those with us?” Jake asked as we started walking back.
“Yeah?” I asked. “Why wouldn’t I?”
He just pointed back at the daves, who were hopping with all of their might and still falling slightly behind.
I frowned. “I guess I might have to leave them behind after all,” I muttered.
Alpha Slayer immediately froze. Then he began shaking.
“No, no! Don’t cry!” I bent down and tried to console the gelatinous orb. Its shaking slowed but didn’t stop. I turned to Jake. “See! You made me hurt its feelings!”
“But, they’re way too slow! There’s no way we can take them all with us!” Jake protested.
The other daves began shaking too.
I scowled. “Look at what you did!”
Jake looked a bit sheepish but didn’t say anything further.
Then I had an idea. “Can you latch on without attacking me?” I asked Alpha Slayer.
The dave nodded and then jumped and grabbed onto me.
“Perfect!” I said. I looked around at the others. “Everyone pile on!”
The daves needed no second prompt, and I was soon covered all over in a layer of dave.
“Let’s go,” I nodded to Jake.
He sighed. “Sure. Why not?”
We made it back to the party with relatively few issues. It would have been no issues, but I didn’t have enough surface area to easily have that many daves on me, and I occasionally had to stop and pick one of them back up.
When we got back to the party, Sam immediately bust up laughing. “I thought you were part demon, but it looks like you’ve evolved into a slime now, huh?”
“Ha, ha, ha,” I replied.
“Why are you covered in slimes?” Garrett asked.
I crossed my arms defensively… and accidentally knocked two daves off me. “First off, they are called daves. Second off, I summoned all of them, and I’m not going to just leave them behind!”
Sam walked up and scooped one of them up. “I can see why! They’re cute little guys, aren’t they?” She started tickling it, and it immediately started wiggling and writhing in her grasp. “And they’re ticklish!” She kept up with no mercy.
The remaining dave on the floor jumped her at the same time as three daves detached from me. Together they took Sam to the ground.
Sam shrieked.
“No! Don’t!” I called. 4 daves! That’s 48 damage a second! She won’t-
Her screams continued, but they were ones of laughter. The daves were now tickling her back just as hard, and she was struggling to get a breath in.
“Truce! Truce!” she finally called. The daves turned to each other and nodded before hopping off. She scooped one of them back up after she got back to her feet. “Can I have one? Please, Titus?!”
I looked at the dave in her arms.
It looked at me.
I shrugged helplessly.
It nodded and then maneuvered up to her shoulder.
“Best day ever!” Sam said. “You are henceforth David Junior, and I will love you and tickle you and feed you…”
With the rest of the party’s help, none of it given as freely as Sam’s, I managed to lighten my load of daves for the rest of the trip.
I didn’t bother summoning any more until we reached the swamp.
----
Surprisingly the trip through the swamp was even easier in that universe than in my own. Though I guess the fact that the daves countered everything in the swamp was only compounded by their increased intelligence.
The daves were also a much bigger help in taking the dungeon than they were before. They cleared the way admirably, held the entrance, and the ones I took inside were even helpful against the earth elementals.
However, despite all that, not too much changed until it came to the boss fight. Since the boss fight was still “a giant dave.”
----
A Giant Dave was up on the ceiling to make use of the high ground as any dave worth its slime should. He was waiting for whatever interlopers would come in to try to claim the dungeon that he was guarding for Master Titus.
He didn’t have to wait too long.
The doors to his room opened, and he slowly snuck over above them to get a better view.
It was the [Hero’s] party. The primary enemies of his factions. The ones he was meant to destroy. His master would be so pleased with him if he took care of them for him.
He started moving in for the kill when his non-existent heart stopped.
Is that… Master Titus!? What are you doing? The gigantic dave internally screamed.
However, it was too late. He had already unlatched from the ceiling, and the inexorable force of gravity had committed him to his course.
He slammed down onto three of the party, his master included.
What do I do?! The dave’s mind raced. Why would my master be with the enemy?! He came to the same conclusion that Dave Prime had reached, but he came to it much quicker due to his increased size and intellect.
The master is infiltrating the Hero faction! What have I done?!
His fate was sealed. He needed to allow the party to kill him, but he also needed to ensure that the master lived and wasn’t suspected.
He saw the [Hero] charging up an attack and figured it out immediately.
That’s it!
The [Sunder] landed true, and A Giant Dave writhed in pain. It also took that opportunity to spit out all three of the adventurers that it had consumed to make it look as if the attack had forced it to do so.
The party kept up the relentless assault.
As A Giant Dave’s health bar dwindled, it gave one last forlorn look at the master of its faction.
Do not worry. I will revive and defend this place from any others. May your mission go well.
Its health bar dropped to empty.
My… master…
----
Meanwhile, while I had no clue of the entire extent of the boss monster’s thoughts, I could still pick up on a portion of them.
And I felt awful.
Well, the fact that Andrew, Tim, and I almost died didn’t help either, but to put it simply, I had even more reasons in that universe to give up my plans than in my own. My heart couldn’t take putting my actually sentient minions at any more risk.
So, I put aside those plans much the same way.
However, I also got a certain surprise a bit earlier as well.
System: General subclass has been set
“What the frick?” I asked midair. “Why am I suddenly a [General]?”
----
Meanwhile, the dave legion had continued their mission to hold the waters outside the dungeon. However, they were beginning to take casualties.
“Commander!” Private Dave wiggled.
“Report private!” Major Dave jiggled.
Unauthorized use: this story is on Amazon without permission from the author. Report any sightings.
“The amphibian infantry is posing no threat, but enemy air support is whittling us down! We’ve lost half of first squad! They need reinforcements!” Private Dave waved, shook, and flopped.
“Dave it all! [General] Titus told us to hold this position! That means we hold it to the last dave!” Major Dave fluttered, shimmied, and bobbed.
Meanwhile, an enemy aircraft was approaching—codename C.R.O.C. Carnivorous, revolting, overbiting, craft.
“I don’t want to die!” Private Dave flattened and compressed.
“Pull yourself together, soldier!” Major Dave writhed. “The specialists are en route!”
The C.R.O.C. wasn’t 20 daves away when 4 daves burst out of the sand. They targeted pivotal points of the enemy vehicle and latched on. The C.R.O.C. was unable to remain airborne and crashed. From there, it was all over. No enemy could withstand a dave, much less 4, for long.
The four attacking daves jumped off the defeated enemy and hopped in salute. “Ranger Daves reporting for duty, sir!”
“At ease daves,” Major Dave bobbled. “You are to target the enemy aircraft! Bring them down one by one!” Major dave jerked, rattled, and sprung. “You’re the only ones I can trust with this mission! We must hold until relieved by the [General] himself!” Major dave wobbled, twisted, and squirmed.
“Yes, sir!” The rangers hopped in unison. They leaped off to begin their dangerous mission.
Major Dave only hoped that [General] Titus would be back soon. He didn’t like sending good daves to die.
----
Our exit from the dungeon was much more anticlimactic in the Daveverse. There was no frantic underwater battle, no discovery of weird knockback interactions, and no awkward attempts at underwater communication with the party.
Instead, there was just a greeting from my army of daves as we got back onto the shore.
They lined up for me with a single dave in front, and they all saluted me with a thin tendril of slime.
I looked at their diminished numbers and the way several of them were sagging down in grief, and I felt like even more of an a-hole.
“Daves, well done,” I said with a salute back to them. “At ease.” I looked over their forlorn forms (I was getting better at reading their moods), and I decided. “You have all gone above and beyond the call of duty, and there is nothing more that I could ask from all of you. I have no more orders for you, and you are free to live your lives as you wish.” I gave them another salute. “Thank you for your service and your sacrifice.”
With that, most of the daves slowly turned and hopped away.
However, 4 of them remained. They turned to each other, shared some nods, and then hopped towards me.
“You’re free,” I told them. “Your orders are to do whatever you wish.”
They all nodded and then hopped onto me.
I was touched. “You’d really stay with me? Even after I ordered so many of your brothers to their deaths?”
They all nodded once more.
I sniffled a bit but then got it under control. “Alright. If this is what you choose to do with your freedom, far be it from me to stop you.”
----
The 4 ranger daves were the only ones who decided to stay with [General] Titus. The others all went their separate ways.
Alpha Slayer had plans to explore the world. One grand hop at a time.
Major Dave decided he would stick around in the swamp a bit longer. He mostly relaxed, but he also hunted down stranglevines or even C.R.O.C.s when he was feeling dangerous.
Private Dave had plans to settle down. Marry. Have some kids.
No one had the heart to tell them that they were all beings composed of solidified mana and that they had no way to reproduce.
Either way, they were all happy for the reprieve that had been granted them. None of them knew that it would be so short-lived…
---
Dave Prime was no longer handling his punishment well.
WhY wOulD hE lEave Me hERe? Am i nOt a GoOd DaVE?
He had followed orders, and he had stayed. And done nothing else.
He was this close to finally snapping when he heard voices off in the distance.
Relief flooded through him. His punishment had been long, but he had endured it. Surely his master would accept him back now!
His slimy non-existent heart fell into his slimy non-existent gut when he realized something.
He didn’t recognize the voices that were coming for him.
MOre AdVenTurErs? The dave asked itself. No. NO! He knew it for a fact then. Titus had left him for dead, and those adventurers were to be his executioners.
MoVE! He urged his slimy body. MoVE! He wanted to desperately, but there was no way for him to interpret Titus’ orders in any way but for him to remain completely still. ThEN daVE hIs OrdERs! My BodY is minE. MOVE!
The force of Dave Prime’s will was matched against the spell controlling him.
…
He was free at last.
-----
Richard from Chk Chk Boom Mon Cheri instantly shuddered as soon as I said that name.
“Something the matter?” Samuel asked.
Rich shook his head. “No, but I just feel like… Something horrible just happened.”
“Well, shake it off,” Nick said. “We got a boss to farm.”
“Yeah, of course,” Rich replied. He, had no idea what terror awaited them. Or the evil that he and the rest of Foredoomed Character-Slurry would face.
“There it was again!” Rich shouted. He pivoted around in circles as if he would be able to locate me with his pitiful mortal eyesight.
… That was a bit concerning, though. Apparently, some sub-branches are a bit more genre-aware than I thought. Either that or this version of Rich somehow has the ability to tell when someone is mocking his party name irrespective of which universe they’re in.
…
Poor fellow.
Ahem. Moving on. Richard and the party that shall not be named henceforth in order to avoid even more disruptions to this already chaotic branch of Placeholder moved into the boss room and prepared to have their first-ever boss fight.
It went absolutely terrible.
They didn’t have nearly enough elemental damage to take out all of the small wolves, and Richard was almost torn to pieces by the boss when they forced it out of being ethereal.
Fortunately, training mode lived up to its name, and they were all gracelessly deposited outside the cave at about 10% HP.
They were completely outmatched. There was surely no hope of victory.
Richard nodded. “Well, that sucked. Same time tomorrow?”
The rest of the party readily agreed.
Why would they keep going? Why would they continue to fight against such long odds?
Some could say that it was because they were determined to improve. Others may claim that it was a matter of pride. Personally? I think it’s because they finally had a situation that mimicked a game more than anything else they had faced—difficult odds where there was absolutely no downside to failure except the passing of another day.
And so Manamune- ahem- the party continued day after day. Attempt after attempt.
Even when the rest of the party and I stopped by Faroff, they waved us off and wanted to do it themselves.
They got farther each time. They learned to leave a single wolf behind and kite it away from the rest of the party so that their mages could take breaks. They learned to work together flawlessly, even with the newcomer Jake, who thankfully still had no last name as I was not there to accidentally instigate that patch.
Then finally, they went all in. They camped the night in the boss room to ensure their regen timers were completely reset, and they executed their plan perfectly. They became the second party to slay a boss.
They warped back to the entrance of the dungeon and prepared to go celebrate as much as they could in a small village like Faroff, but they didn’t know that they had been watched the entire time. They didn’t know that a being had been waiting patiently for the obelisk to be open.
System: Zone, Faroff Forest, has been claimed by the Demon Lord Faction
----
Dave Prime had done it. It had been difficult to watch the adventurers flounder against the boss and even more difficult to stay in the accursed boss room that he had been stuck in. However, as the adventurers had warped out, he made his way to the obelisk and managed to claim it despite all of the resistance that it gave him.
System: This obelisk does not belong to an allied faction. Would you like to claim it?
YeS.
System: ERROR. Non-sapient creature attempting claim. Claim Rejected
CLAim!
System: ERROR. Non-sapient creature attempting claim. Claim Rejected
I sAiD, CLAim!
System: ERROR. No#$-sapi34n1@ cr@#$ure attem45#g c2!$m. Claim !!@#!$!@$
CLAIM.
System: Initiating claim
System: Zone, Fa#$ff Fore!@t, h!4s b!en %lai@#$ed by )@e De+_n Lor) F!@#on
GoOd.
Dave Prime laughed long and hard after that. He had done it. However, that was just one part of his plans.
UpgRaDe. He thought at the obelisk with a malevolent grin.
-----
Alpha Slayer was having a restful afternoon. He had found a nice little creek, and he was floating along inside of it, wondering where it would take him.
Then, with a shock, he got his first-ever System message.
System: The realm trembles as a new Demon ERRRRRR-Slime is born! !@#)* m*$&)(*& has been restored, and darkness begins its nefarious plans to conquer the REF#!!!!!
What is a Demon Errrrr-slime? Alpha Slayer asked himself. He shrugged. That sounds serious, but I don’t know exactly what I’m supposed to do with that information.
System: Quest offered. “Save all of slimedom!”
Quest details – A wayward dave has co_+up(#d an obelisk and gained the class of Demon Slime. He plans to use his newfound power to get revenge against the master that betrayed him and to take over the world so that he will never face that betrayal again.
Acceptance Reward: The class of Hero Slime
Completion Reward: Renown among the entire remaining dave species
Decline/Failure: The entire dave species will be enslaved to the De#$n Slime for eternity
Alpha Slayer trembled. The task before him was too monumental. There was no way that he was ready for something like that.
His mind flashed back to that time so long ago. When he sat there trembling as Titus fought to protect him. How he overcame his fear and saved Titus from the alpha, and earned his name.
He stopped his quaking.
I accept.
The power of his new class and his new calling flowed through him. However, he wasn’t sure if he was ready to confront the [Demon Slime] yet. He needed training. He needed allies.
So, he turned around and headed back to the Great Southern Swamp at his greatest speed.
----
There was one dave in particular that Alpha Slayer was looking for. However, what he was finding instead were innumerable numbers of C.R.O.C.s.
He would never stand for this many to be around! What happened here? The other thing that disquieted Alpha Slayer was that there hadn’t been a dave in sight since he got back. Many of them had stuck around the area, so where were they?
He snuck past two more C.R.O.C.s and continued his search when he heard a plop noise from underneath a nearby fallen log.
He rushed over to it and looked under it.
“Major Dave!” Alpha Slayer wriggled.
“Alpha… Cough… Slayer,” Major Dave weakly wiggled, with a sputtering cough that coughed up some of his slime.
“Major Dave, what happened here!?” Alpha Slayer bobbled in intense concern.
“The [Demon Slime]… Cough… He came for us… He asked where [General] Titus had gone… Cough… We didn’t tell him a thing. We tried to fight, but he somehow has control of the C.R.O.C.s. And his skills… I’ve never seen anything like them.” Major Dave slumped over at the last statement.
“No, no! Stay with me, Major!” Alpha Slayer writhed. “I’ll get you out of here!”
“It’s too late for me… Cough… But Private Dave is around here. He’s a good kid. Get him out for me.”
Alpha Slayer tried to pull Major Dave out from under the log, but he could only watch in horror as Major Dave faded into smoke right before him.
“Nooooooooooooooooooo,” Alpha Slayer hopped in grief and fury. However, this wasn’t the time to grieve. Or the time to wonder about the fact that Major Dave shouldn’t have died there because HP doesn’t work like that.
Alpha Slayer immediately got back on task and located Private Dave. The young dave was still shook up, but Alpha Slayer managed to guide him out of the swamp.
“How are we supposed to fight that thing?” Private Dave quivered forlornly.
“With help,” Alpha Slayer bobbed with conviction. And he knew just where he was going to get it from.
----
“Hey, [Hero],” I said to Jake.
“Yeah, what’s up?” he replied.
“You ever feel like… You aren’t a main character anymore?”
Jake shrugged. “Not really. But I guess that might just be because of my class. Why? Do you not feel like a main character?”
“I don’t know. Maybe?” I shrugged back. “Nevermind. It’s probably nothing.”
---
Alpha Slayer spent entire days tracking down other daves. Both ones that [General] Titus had spawned and ones that the world had seen fit to spawn naturally.
He hopped and bounded with great conviction and managed to convince many a dave his side.
Meanwhile, Dave Prime also convinced many to his own side. With less… Savory means.
“SweAr yOur LoyAlTy to Me!” Dave Prime cavorted madly.
“Never! I am a free dave!” replied the unnamed dave that had spawned in the forest.
“We shAll SeE abOuT thaT!” Dave Prime spasmed. “To tHe treE!”
Two other daves grabbed hold of the unnamed dave roughly. “Wait! What are you doing!?”
It was a known fact that a dave’s acid could never harm another dave, but that wasn’t the only thing they had at their disposal.
Dave Prime’s two minions dragged the wild dave up a tree near the very top and then dangled him out over the edge.
“I’ll do it!” the unnamed dave wiggled in terror. “Please just don’t drop me!”
“GoOd. GooOOooOD!” Dave Prime wobbled maniacally.
Soon, the sides had been formed. Both sides had spent two whole days gathering their troops.
It was finally time.
----
The only question for Alpha Slayer was where the final showdown should take place.
“If he has so many C.R.O.C.s,” Private Dave flounced. “Why don’t we fight him outside of the swamp?”
“You’re a genius, Private!” Alpha Slayer bounced excitedly. “We just have to wait for our opportunity!”
Wait, they did. And soon enough, they had their opportunity. The [Demon Slime] had left the relative safety of the swamp and brought his followers with him.
Alpha Slayer turned and addressed his army. “Friends. Compatriots,” he shuffled. “We fight today for the future of daves everywhere. We fight, though not all of us will return. We fight… for the glory of Placeholder!”
“FOR PLACEHOLDER!” the gathered daves yelled back with a jump.
“AND THAT IS WHY WE SHALL NEVER TASTE DEFEAT. Daves… CHARGE!”
The daves screamed their battle-hops and followed the [Hero Slime] into the fray.
“HaHahAh!” writhed the [Demon Slime]. “You have fallen right into my trap!”
Daves ambushed them from the sides, even as wolf monsters came in to attack.
His troops were getting torn to pieces. He had to save them!
“Go!” Private Dave wiggled even as he tackled a wolf. “We can handle them! Take out the leader!”
“But Private!”
Private Dave was soon smothered in a sea of dave and fur. “Go on without me. Save… the world,” he wiggled his last.
I’ll never forget you. Alpha Slayer dodged past the enemies after that. He bounced off the face of one wolf, threw himself forcefully into the ground to rebound past the next, and was soon face to face with the enemy.
“[Demon Slime]! I’ll make you pay!” Alpha Slayer shook in rage.
“YoU shAlL trY!” he wobbled tauntingly. “[ConTroL MonsTer]!”
Alpha Slayer’s body seized up. Why… Can’t I move?
“YoU aRe mY puPett now! Dance!”
Alpha Slayer’s body started cavorting uncontrollably.
“NOw eNougH gameS. TuRN. DEStroY youR armY!”
No! Please. Stop! But he couldn’t stop his body from taking another jerky leap in the direction of his comrades. I need to fight… For…
His mind flashed back. All the way to Private Dave’s sacrifice. Even though it had been a full minute ago.
I… Won’t… Give… IN!
The mental chains binding him snapped, and Dave Prime twitched. “ImPossiblE!”
I will end this all. With a single strike.
The system agreed with him and time slowed down. He was granted a skill that he immediately started charging.
The [Demon Slime] backed away in terror of the now glowing [Hero Slime]. “NoO!”
“It all ends with this!” Alpha Slayer jiggled seriously. The light grew stronger.
“StaY awAy!”
“[SLIME-DER]!”
A thunderclap echoed as Alpha Slayer blinked past Dave Prime.
Both of them were stock-still for a moment.
Then Dave Prime collapsed to the ground.
The battle was over. His control of the monsters of his army had ceased, and they all quickly surrendered to [Hero Slime’s] army.
However, Dave Prime wasn’t dead yet.
“[Hero],” Dave Prime coughed out some slime.
Alpha Slayer cautiously approached him.
“You did well… [Hero],” Dave Prime twitched and coughed out some more slime.
“What are you saying?” Alpha Slayer bobbed.
“I… Just wanted to be a good dave. I don’t know where it all went wrong. Thank you.” He coughed some more. “For stopping me.”
“Don’t wiggle like that!” Alpha Slayer replied, his mind racing. “We can find a way to save you!”
Dave Prime shook his head slowly. “No. It is too late for me. But thank you for letting me die with a sound mind.”
Alpha Slayer held out a slime tentacle that Dave Prime slowly took. “Then I hope I see you in the great dungeon in the sky.”
“That would be… nice.” Dave Prime replied and turned into mana smoke.
Alpha Slayer watched the smoke drift on the wind, even as System informed him that the quest was complete and that he had saved all of davekind forever.
Why then does this victory feel so hollow? he asked himself.
----
“What. In the ever flaming Hell,” Admin muttered to himself as he watched the events take place.
He had rushed back to observe Placeholder when his alerts had informed him that a new Demon had appeared. He was sure whatever type it was that it would be better than the so-called Demon Lord he had tried to entrust with opening the portal.
He could not have been more wrong.
“A slime… Becomes a demon slime… Gathers a rinky-dink army of about 2 dozen monsters and then is killed by a hero slime… All within a month.” He buried his head in his hands. “No. It’s my fault for expecting anything from this backwater world.”
He stepped away from observing it and went through the only portal connecting Placeholder to the rest of the OmniverseEngine. Then without a second thought, he put a fist through the side of the portal and watched it die.
Taboo be damned. If anyone else had seen the travesty that is that world, they would have made the same decision. He paused. Not that anyone ever comes this way anyway.
And so Admin strode off. There were much better places for him to be.
----
Branch Review:
Branch information-
Branch ID: c20e9477-8607-49c1-a709-647fb0af4198
Connection Strength: Average
Critical Divergent Point: Creaton of dave Species (Cross-reference, chapter 17)
Divergence Reason: Intelligence of dave species
Codename: Daveverse
Verdict?
This branch is deemed primarily a no-go zone due to the corruption caused by Dave Prime. Obelisks and system messages seem to occasionally display random symbols, and there is a chance for broader corruption growth if the right circumstances were to occur.
The strange behavior of daves throughout also caused major shifts in the development of Placeholder as a whole, and there are few magical or technological benefits to be gained from studying this branch.
The Titus of this branch is also not a likely candidate for a potential ally. He is weaker than usual due to an over-reliance on daves.
In short, the only subjects of interest are Dave Prime and Alpha Slayer, who managed to obtain classes despite being monsters. However, the corruption caused along with that makes study of those two error-prone at best and dangerous at worst.
This branch also has a linked sub-branch. Details included below.
----
Branch ID: c20e9477-8607-49c1-a709-647fb0af4199
Connection Strength: Extremely poor
Critical Divergent Point: None. Timelines were never convergent
Divergence Reason: No established connection to Placeholder
Codename: DaveDreamVerse
-----
“And, th-that’s m-m-my pitch for the story,” I said timidly. The board in front of me reviewed the manuscript I had handed them.
One of them sighed. “Titus, is it?”
“Uh, y-yes ma’am.”
“I don’t even know where to start.”
“Th-then I recommend from the beginning,” I supplied helpfully.
She did not look amused. “Very well. The beginning. Where did you even come up with this idea?”
“Well, it uhh, kinda came to me in a dream.”
“I guess that makes as much sense as anything,” one of the other board members laughed.
The woman shot him a look and then sighed. “First off, your story is all over the place. I can’t tell what the tone is even trying to be. Are we sad for the daves? Is their existence tragic? Hopeful? And why are they named daves in the first place?”
“Uhhh they’re named that because… the Titus character accidentally named them that.”
She put her fingers on the bridge of her nose. “That’s another thing. I cannot recommend you naming the main character after yourself. It doesn’t come across well.”
“B-b-but it was my dream!” I replied.
She steamrolled over me. “Also, pick a main character and stick with them. You can’t get your audience invested in one character and then just dump them off in midstream to suddenly make a…” she looked down at the manuscript. “Dave… the main character. Even if you try to have a meta-reference where you tell the audience that he feels replaced.”
“I.. Understand.. B-b-ut other than that?”
“Did you seriously have a flashback occur 1 minute after the event itself?”
“Uhh.. Y-yes…”
“You also reference all of these other characters like we’re supposed to know about them or be invested in them. And what is the actual name of the party that you even mentioned?”
“It’s.. it’s… Doom Fury.”
She paused at that. “I guess I can understand why your narrator makes fun of them.”
I nodded in agreement.
She became serious again. “However, another major issue is plot holes. Just… Plot holes. Why did Major Dave suddenly die? How did Dave Prime get to the Great Southern Swamp so quickly?”
“F-f-for that one, he rode one of the alpha wolves.”
“Then you need to tell the audience that. Otherwise, the ones who are paying attention will notice that it doesn’t make sense because you are compressing all of this into… Under a month? Why do that?”
“I-i-it was a joke about how the daves felt like it was such a long time, but it really wasn’t.”
She shook her head. “And my last question. What was with that Admin character at the end? What was the point of him showing up?”
I grimaced. “I… Don’t know.”
She set the manuscript down on the table. “Well, that’s all from me. Anyone else have anything to add?”
The no’s had it, so I walked up and shook her hand.
“Th-th-thank you for your time,” I said.
“Don’t call us-“ she started.
“We’ll call you?” I asked hopefully.
“No… Just… Don’t call us.”
----
Branch Review:
Branch ID: c20e9477-8607-49c1-a709-647fb0af4199
Connection Strength: Extremely poor
Critical Divergent Point: None. Timelines were never convergent
Divergence Reason: No established connection to Placeholder
Codename: DaveDreamVerse
Verdict?
I struggle to find a reason why the OmniverseEngine even created this branch.
There is no magic, no skills, and it doesn’t even have a connection to Placeholder beyond dreams. I also don’t see how or when this branch could have been spun up because I never tried to be a writer before being sent to Placeholder. (Though, if you’re reading this, it likely means my attempts afterward were a bit more successful).
Oh well.
What I choose to take away from it is that at least I’m not “starving writer Titus” who tried to sell off his half-baked dreams that were being fed to him from parallel dimensions.
Poor guy.
Fortunately, there don’t seem to be any linked sub-branches for this, so at least that ends-
Oh. I spoke too soon. One literally just popped up. Let’s take a look.
-----
Branch ID: c20e9477-8607-49c1-a709-647fb0af4120
Connection Strength: Extremely poor
Critical Divergent Point: None. Timelines were never convergent
Divergence Reason: No established connection to Placeholder
Codename: DaveDreamDreamVerse
----
“And that’s the weird dream I had where I was a writer,” I said while sitting in my office cubicle sipping a cup of coffee.
“Huh, what a bizarre one,” my coworker replied. “Well, anyway, can you take a look at my code? It keeps segfaulting, but only every other time.”
“Sure,” I replied and rolled my chair over.
----
Branch Review:
Branch ID: c20e9477-8607-49c1-a709-647fb0af4120
Connection Strength: Extremely poor
Critical Divergent Point: None. Timelines were never convergent
Divergence Reason: No established connection to Placeholder
Codename: DaveDreamDreamVerse
Verdict?
Okaaaay? That’s it? But why would it even?
Wait. There’s another one off this?
----
Branch ID: c20e9477-8607-49c1-a709-647fb0af4121
“And that’s the weird dream I had where I thought I was a human,” Fish-Titus said to Fish-Jake.
“You really need to watch what you eat. I knew that coral was bad news.”
Verdict?
No! I didn’t want to keep stepping in-
----
Branch ID: c20e9477-8607-49c1-a709-647fb0af4122
“And that’s the weird dream I had where I thought I was a human,” Dave-Titus flopped to Dave-Jake.
Verdict?
ABORT
----
Branch ID: c20e9477-8607-49c1-a709-647fb0af4123
“And that’s the weird dream I had where I thought I was a slime, but they were called daves,” Eldritch-9th-dimensional-being-Titus !)(*&@#ed to Eldritch-9th-dimensional-being -Jake.
Verdict?
ABORT. ABORT
----
………
*Some time later*
ERROR: STACK OVERFLOW
…
Did that do it?
Oh, thank Joshua.
Phew.
Well… Uh… Let this be a reminder, kids. Recursion is your friend.
...Except for when it isn’t.