Novels2Search
Never, Never Stair
Hell and Back

Hell and Back

Brent isn’t talking to me. He gave up on trying to get the car radio to work and now he is looking out the window or looking at his reflection in the dark glass. I am not sure. I am driving fast and focused on the road and rear view mirrors. Brent occasionally takes out his cell phone to see what time it is. I don’t really care. It is after midnight and we are hellbound.

We pull off the highway and start driving into the woods. We cross a bridge and the road gets worse. We get out and I take out the headlights, loppers, and pruning shears I bought while it was still day.

I hand Brent a headlight and put on my backpack. It is mostly empty apart from water, tools and a small green vase.

I say, “Brent, please, whatever you do, don’t shine a light in my face.”

Brent shines the light in my face, mutters, “Sorry,” and adjusts the angle of his headlight. We walk for a bit. My horse catches up with us and nuzzles me.

I pat her and ask, “Are you sure you want to come?”

My horse nuzzles me.

Brent asks, “Is that your horse?”

My horse says, “He’s my boy.”

I turn and look at my horse for a bit. This is the first time I have heard her speak.

We get to the wild roses and start clipping a path through the briers. There is a large circle of well fitted stones with a spiral stair going down. My horse snorts. The spiral stair is too tightly curved for a horse as large as she.

I put my arm around her neck and hug her. She pulls free and gives me a look with her deep brown eyes. She reaches past me and carefully bites a rose from a bush and eats it.

That reminds me. I take the vase, put some water in it and put a single wild rose in it.

Brent says, “Is this the way to hell?”

I say, “Fastest way I know.”

Brent starts heading down.

I say, “Don’t look back.”

Brent asks, “Isn’t that when you are leaving hell?”

I say, “I just don’t want to be blinded by your headlight.”

The stairway is long and we need a break. We are in a hurry though. We continue endlessly down the spiral until we can see light ahead of us.

I say, “Let’s take a quick break.” I hand Brent a canteen and sit on the stairs above him. We rest a bit before we continue walking down.

#

A man sitting at a table with a pair of girls in swimsuits gestures to us. We walk around the pool and past several other tables. The man gestures for the girls to leave. One of them brushes my shoulder with her hand as she passes by. We sit down and the man leans forward and takes off his sunglasses.

He points to the place in front of me and shouts, “Waiter, can I get a drink for my friend?”

He looks at Brent and says, “Don’t eat or drink anything while you are in hell.”

I say, “One of the gentry kidnapped my sister.”

The man says, “Foolish of him, but more are caught by the coverup than are caught by the crime. The Fairies are much too used to doing whatever they wish. Most of them don’t even understand guilt or responsibility.”

He says to Brent, “On that subject, let me advise you that mercy, charity and forgiveness are things you should really cultivate.”

The waiter places a frozen drink with an umbrella in it in front of me.

I say, “I hate to appear boorish, but I brought water and I am on a fairly exclusive diet right now.”

The man laughs and says, “You came to me for weapons. Drinking that would be the least of your issues.”

I put the vase with the single wild rose on the table in front of the man.

He turns into a lovely tanned lady and smells the flower.

She asks, “What gave me away?”

I say, “It is hard to hide timeless beauty.”

She says, “Speaking of which, time is passing.You should not tarry.”

She puts a pair of sheathed swords on the table and four bags tied with drawstrings.

Brent picks up a sword. I look at a bag.

She says, “These bags contain a weapon forged in a hell that the Fairies fear. Since before time was recorded this dark weapon has given hell the upper hand in all disputes. Take care and use this wisely.”

I ask, “Is it safe for me to look in the bag?”

She says, “Absolutely. It’s just iron filings.”

She gets up and offers her hand to me. I bow and kiss it. She waves at Brent and says, “A fond farewell, Brent. Let’s not meet often.”

As we walk around the pool Brent syss, “She didn’t even try to tempt me. Am I that boring?”

A curvaceous girl in the pool in front of us tosses her beach ball at Brent. Brent isn’t ready for it and the ball rolls off.

She says, “Hells have no trouble recruiting. We try to be a bit careful about who we are going to spend forever with. Your companion plays a violin wonderfully. The only instrument you are qualified to play is a wobble board.”

Another girl says, “Don’t talk to him. He is going to think you are interested.”

The girl that threw the beach ball says, “I don’t mind brutally rejecting him so there is no downside if he does.”

I push Brent and say, “You're married to my sister and she has been kidnapped by Fairies.”

Brent looks guilty so I say, “Don’t worry. What happens in hell stays in hell.”

Another girl who is walking by says, “As if.”

#

We get to the top of the stair and my horse isn’t there.

We walk to the bridge and my car is on the other side. We get in and I start looking over the map.

I start the car and ask, “Can you sleep while I drive?”

Brent says, “I am not sure I could sleep and I am scared of my dreams. Let me drive while you sleep.”

My car stalls out.

I say, “I don’t think that is going to work out. Do you mind if I play the violin?”

Brent asks, “Why?”

I say, “I have a lot to think about and I think it will be easier for me to think if I play a few songs first.”

Brent says, “Fine, whatever.”

I take out my bow and my violin is in my other hand. I play a few songs and put Brent to sleep. I play a few more to make sure he stays asleep.

My car starts up. I drive for a bit and mull over what comes next. I should probably leave Brent somewhere but I may need him. My car takes over and I catch a bit of sleep myself.

I wake up and Brent is talking, “Wait, I think he is waking up.”

My car is still driving. Brent hands me my phone.

I say, “Hello?”

The voice on the other end says, “Danny, my Danny, ye have good cause for war. As I love thee, I grant thee permission to wage it. Don’t go too far with it and keep it small. There are forces watching that we best not offend.”

I ask, “Doest thou mean the lady justice, my lord?”

Since I took the job he offered, he expects me to address him that way every now and then.

The voice seems closer as it says, “Justice under the hill has always been lax. There is reason for us to fear it. Most of the gentry are hoping this fad passes quickly.”

I glance in the rear view mirror and my liege is sitting in the back seat by my pack.

I say, “More like the top of a stair than under the hill.”

My liege says, “Raising a cairn is ever so much more expensive than a simple stairway. Modern economics have forced our hands.”

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I ask, “There are limits to the wealth of the folk?”

My liege says, “Attracting explorers instead of grave robbers has its advantage and children are lured in either way. Danny, my squire, I do love and treasure thee. I would ask that thou tryest to keep thy soul clean in this endeavor.”

I ask, “Have I been elevated to a squire?”

There is no answer. I glance in the rear view mirror and there is no one there.

#

At the stairway in the woods where it all started, Brent and I appraise each other. We have two bags each. Brent and I have our swords belted on. I am holding my violin and bow. Brent is holding a two foot by three foot sheet of hardboard.

Brent asks me, “Are you sure about this, Danny?”

I say, “It works to our advantage. The residents are inclined to admit musicians, and one of the few things you can count on is the safety of a musician playing.”

Brent says, “There is something wrong with these stairs.”

I say, “More than just a few things, but Karen needs us.”

Brent starts walking up the stairs. At the top I nod to him. He starts warping the hardboard sheet back and fourth and it makes a woop-woop, woop-woop sound. I tuck my violin under my chin and we start playing the music to Rolf Harris’ “Tie Me Kangaroo Down, Sport.” It seems appropriate. There is a lot that is wrong with that song.

The gateway opens and we step in. We continue playing as we stroll into the orchard. The man who cursed me and kidnapped Karen smiles as he sees me. His entourage gathers around. His smile says, “You will have to stop playing eventually.”

My smile does not tell him that he will be fast asleep well before that time comes. I give them a bit more music and we near the end of the song. I don’t know if Brent knows to keep playing, and I don’t have a good way to tell him not to stop. I play them all to sleep. I play a bit longer and make sure they sleep as deeply as I can manage.

I drag Brent away from the rest and go back and play a bit more to make sure they stay sleeping.

I shake Brent awake and gesture for him to stay silent as we search. Every ten minutes or so I have Brent get in a comfortable position and I play everyone back into a deep sleep. After waking Brent, we search the manor house. It is mostly empty apart from sleeping hounds. We search until we are sure there is no place my sister could be hidden unless she has been transformed into something we missed. I am beginning to suspect that is the case. I find a balcony where I can play from so that everyone can hear. I have to keep waking Brent. Brent is going further and further into the orchard to see if he can be out of range. I still have to go out and wake him each time. He has had more rest than I so I need his eyes in case I miss something.

Out in the orchard, Brent wakes up and points to a small newly planted tree. Hanging from the tree is a silver locket that Brent gave Karen.

Brent quietly says, “I think Karen has been here by this tree.”

I touch a leaf gently and say, “I think Karen is the tree.”

Brent takes my shoulder and carefully moves me from the tree. He points to a single small green apple just forming on the tree. I am not sure, but Karen may be with child.

I go back to the manor house playing everyone to sleep. I step carefully past the sleeping hounds and take the master's spell book from its stand and put in in my pack. I play my way back out to where Brent is and wake him up.

I alternate between studying the book of spells and making sure that everyone is asleep. I need rest, but I cannot stop. Not now. Not here.

I find what I think is the right spell to free Karen. I copy the patterns in the book. I make lines on the ground. I wet the soil and pack it down as the lines lose distinction. The last bit is a long incantation. I practice it in pieces, playing the violin with it as I continue playing everyone to sleep. I don’t want to start casting until I know the spell, so I make it a broken chant to sing as I play. I am tired but I get it down. I must if I am going to save my sister. I wake Brent.

I quietly say, “Brent, the incantation may take a bit. You will need to be ready to defend Karen and me as I finish it.”

He has the sword and iron filings ready as I start the incantation. I get in the stance shown in the diagram and hold my hands in the manner illustrated. A wind whips up. I continue the chant. I shift to the next position. I see a large green worm inching its way towards Karen. I have to continue the chant and hold position. I have no way to tell Brent of the danger. I finish this part of the chant and rotate as I shift to the next position and step on the worm as I shift.

It squirms and bites me as I continue the chant. Brent sees it and spears it with his sword. The worm dissolves to a stain on the loose bare dirt. I keep chanting. Fairies gather around. I still have verses to go and the Fairies are awake. Brent cannot cover us in all directions with just himself and a single blade.

He takes a bag in hand and holds his sword ready. He doesn’t want to let go of the sword, so he awkwardly unties the string with his teeth pulling at the string. A bit of iron dust falls to the ground. The Fairies back up.

The dust starts eating a hole in the ground. Brent drops his sword and digs with his hands to keep the iron dust from reaching the pattern. The side of the hole he is reaching across collapses as the hole deepens and Brent falls into the hole. I keep chanting. Brent is holding the bank of earth next to the pattern so that the wall does not collapse. He is slowly sinking deeper into the hole.

The pattern lights up as I near completion. I am not quite finished when the ground collapses and I fall into the hole. I keep chanting. The pattern above me is still glowing. Brent is at the bottom of the hole and he has managed to get his shirt off. He is taking handfuls of dirt and putting them in his shirt. I finish the chant and Karen falls on me.

Brent says, “We need to get out of this hole and this Fairyland as quickly as we can.”

I look over at him as he starts scooping soil from the wall and steps up on the mound.

Karen says, “Pack the soft dirt beneath us. It may still hold for a bit.”

Karen and I start stomping soil.

Karen says, “Gently! The iron is eating the gossamer soil.”

Brent says, “My shirt has most of the iron in it, but some must have fallen out of reach and will continue dissolving the ground below. We need to get out of this hole.”

There is shouting above us. A rope is being lowered. The ground crumbles again and we slide against each other. The end of the rope brushes against me and then hits me in the face. Brent takes the rope and makes a large loop using a bowline knot.

Brent gets Karen in the loop while I try to pack soil around the edge of a hole that is growing.

Brent jerks twice on the rope and Karen is being lifted out. Brent and I are digging into the side of the hole to try and make a safer place to stand. All of the soil is soft and barely packed. This is a problem but it also makes our digging possible. The rope comes back down with the loop still in it. Brent has to reach up to grab it. He gestures for me to climb him and sit in the loop as the floor falls out from under us.

I bounce on the side and keep falling. I land hard on a small rock or something. I take a deep breath and the pain is unbearable. I think I broke or bruised a rib. The rock slips beneath me. I reach into the hole it is in and grab the hilt of the sword Brent dropped. As I lift it, the soil it touches disappears. The ground beneath me is no longer shifting. I think this sword may have been what has been digging the hole beneath us as the steel dispelled the gossamer soil it touched. Something hard lands on my head. I feel the top of my head. Tender, but I don’t think the skin is broken. I stand up. I reach down and pick up the magic book. I think that is what hit me.

Taking shallow but still amazingly painful breaths, I start cutting a sloped tunnel up to the surface. The sword dissolves the soil in front of me. I reach the surface and the trees are gone. I walk through a crowd. My shirt is wet. I am bleeding a little. I find the gateway to the stair. I pass it and I spot Brent and Karen.

In the middle of a crowd, Brent is asking, “What is the limit? How far down does it go and what comes after that?”

Someone answers, “The pumps, but that is gossamer too.”

Another asks, “What happens when Danny hits the filters?”

Karen asks, “What are the filters?”

Someone answers, “They separate matter from gossamer, water from solids. This is a closed ecology and has to reprocess things. No one expects someone living to ever reach them.”

Another says, “Not that the great and mighty lords of Fairy would care.”

I ask, “Where is the lord of this domain?”

A small man looks at me and says, “They say that he turned back into a worm and someone liquidated him.”

Another small man says, “Not that any of us witnessed Danny and Brent liquidating him. Call it just another mysterious disappearance. A lot of them happen around here.”

Karen hugs me and causes excruciating pain.

She yells, right in my ear, “Danny’s okay.”

Brent grabs her arm and asks, “Danny, can you find the entrance? I don’t think this place is going to last much longer.”

I offer Brent his sword back and say, “Brent, sheath this sword before it dissolves someone.”

Brent takes the sword from me and puts it back in its sheath.

A winged Fairy says, “Someone irresponsibly turned the orchard back into stray children and hikers. Exactly what doest thou think we can do about this?”

Brent says, “I am scared this place is done for anyway. They need to get out of here.”

The Fairy asks me, “Doest thou know of a Fairyland that is accepting applicants?”

I say, “Probably,” and lead Karen and Brent to the gateway.

The Fairy is following us. At the gateway to the stairs, small serious looking men, walking one after another, are coming in from the stairway with wooden wheelbarrows filled with dirt.

The last one comes through and there is a rush to exit the Fairyland.

Another flying Fairy yells, “Be careful what thou doest trample. We want this to look like a large sinkhole when we finish.”

The stairway has been covered with boards with small strips of wood to give traction. Dirt is scattered on the stair and I am scared someone is going to slip and fall off. There is a crowd going down the stairs so one person falling could take down several of us.

We make our way to the bottom. Beside the stairway, a hole is being dug.

A small man is yelling, “We need ramps going down so we can dig from deep underground.”

Another yells, “That’s too much work.”

The first yells “The more we disturb on the surface, the more likely it is for mortals to notice.”

A Fairy beside us says, “We are finished. Technically, Danny or Brent should be our king, but thou couldst not find two less qualified beings.”

The Fairy that followed us looking for a new home pokes me and says, “That wouldst be thou, unqualified.”

There are pointy eared girls in plaid escorting children and hikers into the woods.

I ask the Fairy, “Who are they?”

The Fairy says, “Considering the timing, the cavalry. Late as usual.”

Brent asks, “What is the cavalry?”

I say, “Considering where we are, best not try to make too much sense of things.”

We get to the bridge. My liege lord and the judge are standing beside my car.

My liege looks at me and then he looks at Karen. He looks at the book I am holding.

He asks, “Has my squire become a hedge wizard?”

I kneel and wince as I say, “I have learned one more spell.”

He looks at the judge and asks, “Do I have to release my Danny? I treasure him so dearly.”

The Fairy looking for a new home pokes me again.

I say, “This little one needs a home.”

My liege asks him, “Doest thou play a violin?”

The Fairy says, “I tend magic trees.”

My liege says, “I suppose thou wilt do.”

The Fairy hovers beside my liege and gestures towards us.

The Fairy asks, “So what do we do with these?”

My liege asks, “If I knight him, can I keep him?”

The judge shakes her head.

He asks, “He can keep his job though?”

The judge nods and says, “Sorry I can’t stay and talk. We have a lot of people to try and put back into the world.”

She disappears. I stand up and wince. Not even shallow breathing helps when I stand up.

My liege says, “My Danny still works for me. I still expect him to continue his search and to play for us on holidays.”

Karen lifts my shirt to look. I wince again. The scab that was forming came off when my shirt was pulled up and now I am bleeding a little.

Karen says, “We need to get Danny to a hospital.”

I look up and my liege is gone. He wasn’t my liege for long. Maybe he is just my boss now. He is still sort of my in-law, I am not sure it changes much.

#

As we drive, Brent asks, “What happens next?”

I ask, “Can you try to bring up a web page and check the date?”

Brent fumbles for a bit on his cell phone before he says, “Barely five minutes has passed.”

I say, “I’m relieved. You probably still have a house and a job. It is rather painful when twenty years pass without you.”

Brent asks, “Probably?”

I don’t answe. The answer is complicated and I don’t really know what I am talking about. Not really.

Karen says, “Sometimes when you visit Fairy, things are not the same when you get back. It seems like things remain the same when it is just Danny visiting Fairy, but when we both go it can get strange.”

I stay quiet. Some things are best kept to myself. I have felt like we are near a stair ever since we left. Who knows what that could mean.

Brent says, “We just passed a drug store. We should at least clean your wound and cover it.”

We drive back to the drug store. I sit in the car as Brent and Karen go in. They come back with several bags.

Karen says, “This is probably going to hurt. Can you lift your shirt?”

I lift my shirt. I don’t have a wound anymore.

Karen says, “You were bleeding through your shirt. Did one of the folk heal you?”

I say, “Not that I noticed.”

I feel and I can still tell that my rib was hit, but just barely.