"One Mile Deep"

The rain drizzled down in a soft, steady rain that seeped into the sod. Ripples of water spread out from the impressions made by their footsteps on the wet lawn. Raindrops settled on their umbrellas and trickled downward to puddle at their feet. The towers loomed in front of them on top of a small hill in the center of the cemetery grounds. They were made of pure white marble and had high ceilings with a series of stained glass windows between pointed arches.

The thick storm clouds hung over them like looming giants, oozing out gray skies and fresh puddles onto the grounds below. Dense fog swirled around the crowns and billowed out like smoke over the surrounding trees. Thunder clapped overhead, cracking through the air and whipping up the edges of each umbrella until the drops raced off down the corridors between them, splashing onto their shoes. The shouts echoed through the space, bouncing off of every tree trunk before pinging back to their ears. Their yells pierced through his heart and felt as if they were slicing it open, Lightning flashed above them, its light almost blinding against a cloud-strewn sky. Pedestrians marching through raindrops ran their fingers along the tops of their umbrellas, getting them glistening wet with each step. A mother held the casket containing her only daughter as she wept.

Her husband stood behind her with one arm wrapped comfortingly around her shoulder, his other hand resting on a shovel, which he brought to earth again and again, pounding holes for the box that contained the murdered woman Her brother hovered nearby, staring up at the night sky through his tears. The cloud above lit up bolts of lightning running through, almost as if angels were calling, but the depths of the hole calling the light fading the light depleted from these depths.

Nat clenched his fist biting his lip, his lip began to bleed he let go, he sighed opening his palm as rain filled his palm the drops sliding to the center of his open palms, he had hoped she would come and grab his hand, while making her usual jokes about how he loves his terminal more than her, the letterhead mast more than showing her affection as they went to get coffee.

Nothing came, no hand, no sunlight, no sweet voice, just the sound of wailing and listing of metal and wood suspended in air above a twelve-foot hole, his grandfather used to say.

“Bury your loved ones a mile deep, so they shall know peace and quiet.” Nat cracked a smile, a tear slid down his cheeks hitting his white shirt and highlighting the wet spot on his shirt pocket. The reverend began a sermon, but he could hear none of it, he couldn’t even focus on the sound or Rissa’s mother, that's the only thing that was on replay in his mind.

He swallowed, he could smell the rain, he could smell the anguish of her soul, looking over the land, the headstones lay side by side, forgotten by time, by the human race, by the people who they should’ve cared most about them. The sleek shine of the obituary photo reflecting into his eyes, he glanced over the easel, her long hair sitting over her shoulder, her smile, the blush in her cheek, the dimples which her smile sat on, the sunflower dress he had bought her when he took her to see the opera his boss gave him tickets to.

She was stunning that night, she didn’t want to eat anything in the opera house, she wanted cheap takeout, she spilled the takeout all over her dress she cried and he took off his jacket and covered her stain with it, she smiled her smile gave him joy. He grimaced, staring at the portrait in the grayscale sky, the rain sliding down the surface of the glass housing the photo, her face smudged by raindrops. His heart ached he grabbed his chest, trying to catch his breath, but he couldn’t, he bent over leaning over a hand grabbed his chest standing him up, his eyes met Case’s. Case balled his fist striking into his chest.

“Stand fucking tall.” Case said , tears running down his face, he brushed them off into the sleeve of his suit jacket.

Nat puffed his chest out, the family members had begun making their rounds to the coffin, Nat's feet couldn’t move, they were led in the muck and depth of a bayou, they were an anchor in the depths being pulled down by Poseidon himself. Case stepped in front of Nat proceeding to take the lead, Nat hung his head in embarrassment.

“Get it together man” Nat mumbled to himself.

Case rounded the coffin, reaching over and placing a white rose onto the casket, he closed his eyes, praying.

“May allah be with you” Case said silently, he put his hand on the casket feeling the mahogany wood between his fingers running his hand along the finely crafted casket, it was made to the detail he had paid for he was pleased he could do something for her, he had paid off the loan on her clinic and her vet loans, it was the least he could do. He didn’t want her next of kin to incur any of her debts, he had the money, it wasn’t even much, it was the amount of money he usually spent on coke and whores on a weekend.

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That much money was nothing to him, but it felt like she had been trying to pay it off forever and she could never be rid of it. He contemplated what that meant, money that was used to do blow for a weekend was enough to change her life, he could’ve given it to her but she was too proud, she wanted it to be something she did on her own. He smirked remembering all the times she told them that one day they’ll look back on all the nagging she did fondly.

She always referred to the group of them as the boys club, and while they despised it at the time, the nickname was fitting and has proven to be enduring. He took his hand off the casket, feeling as if his hands had grown cold and wet from the rain. He glanced back at Nat and gave him a slight nod, with Nat returning it in kind by blinking twice. Then Nat stepped forward, his footsteps nearly sinking them into the muddy cemetery; it felt like he was wearing steel boots.

Nat took a deep breath gathering himself, the sky boomed with each step he took, a crescendo to the path he was about to embark on, the lightning crackling as he neared the casket, the sonata of the pain he was feeling, each step towards the casket drained him, it saddened him further, foot by foot his courage grew weaker. He was gripping the handles of the casket, he didn’t even remember walking up to it, his hands were shaking, his composure was waning, and his head facing above the hole, he raised his eye level slowly, he thought he was over it, but the pain still stayed, it made him feel helpless.

Time and time again her falling into his arms replayed, he thought he had drunk enough jack to push that into the back of his mind, maybe someday he would be over it but someday was a far way away and it definitely wasn’t today. He gathered himself to stand over the casket, the plethora of rain split as it hit the casket running off each side of the casket creating waterfalls into the pit, the pit of no return, her final resting place.

Nat dug in his pocket and pulled out the flask he had been gifted on his birthday. He unscrewed the lid and swallowed some of the whiskey, then retrieved the sunflower dress from his jacket. Scanning the area to ensure no one was paying attention, he noticed that everyone present seemed lost in grief. With a creak, he opened the casket and carefully laid the dress inside before closing it gently again. He raised the flask to his lips once more, pausing as an idea occurred to him. Turning the flask upside down, he emptied its contents into the grave with a smile.

“You always wanted me to quit,” he said to himself.

He placed his hand on the casket one more time, Case turned to him smiling to himself, Case turned to greet Rissa’s family shaking hands and giving smiles.

“I guess me asking you to marry you is off the table huh” he chuckled to himself as he talked to the casket while staring at the memorial photo, the internal dialogue was like having her in front of him, her mannerisms were the same, they say grief is hard, but he didn’t believe that at all, I mean he’s talking to her right now isn’t he? Nat questioned himself and his sanity.

Nat’s mind raced as he stepped slowly towards the mother. A sickening feeling bubbled in his gut and spread throughout his body like a wave of molten lava. Tears brimmed in her eyes, threatening to spill over any moment. He clenched his fists against the pain and leaned in close, planting one last kiss on the casket. His throat constricted, and he croaked, “I gotta go now, I’ll water your plants and I’ll be back”. The son stood beside her with a chiseled jaw, trying to show strength while his own heart broke.

"My deepest sympathies for your loss, Mrs. Stone," he said solemnly.

She looked up from her palms looking into his eyes, she paused, her tears had stopped, and the water-works had ceased like someone forgot to pay the bill to the supplier. She shot to her feet pressing her finger into his chest, her hands shaking under her anger.

“You let this happen,” she said angrily.

“I don't know how but I know you and those other boys let this happen” She coughed, her words came out faster than she could catch her breath.

Nat swallowed hard, he couldn’t find the words to refute her, Case felt like he was swallowing needles as he stood behind her, he also couldn’t find a way to talk his way out of her anger, they also would be doing her a disservice at her daughters funeral by lying to her It was completely rational for her to blame them, they regularly gave Rissa trouble.

Case hung his head, he had won multiple debates throughout his life, this was the first time he felt he shouldn’t even fight back. Nat cleared his throat motioning to Case to let him handle it. Mrs.Stone was a short woman, her age was evident she had worked most of her life to send Rissa to school. She wanted her to leave Centrallica and become something better, but her daughter was stubborn. Nat went to one knee at her level she was looking down at him he knelt his head into the mud bowing to her. She felt indifferent, she didn’t want to see him grovel, she wanted her only daughter back. Nat gathered his air.

“While we don’t know who did this, There isn’t a day I haven’t thought about her, there isn’t a day I haven’t thought about dragging whoever caused this to your feet and making them beg for you to judge them, there isn’t a moment I don’t wish it would’ve been me and not her” Nat yelled at the top of his lungs the mud getting in his mouth from pushing his head into the ground.

She paused, staring at his back, the rain drops hurling down onto him, she stared at him, the rain drops drenching him, he hadn’t moved an inch in two minutes, she let out a whimper. She reached her hand onto his back, rubbing his back slowly, putting her hands under his chest, lifting him up. She stared into his eyes, She hugged him. She embraced him like a mother would a newborn babe.

The dam on his pride burst, the thunder crackling drowning out Nat’s wail. Case turned away, he didn’t wanna see Nat in that state. The stone matriarch cleared the tears from his cheeks, cupping her hand behind his head and opening his eyes. She cleared her throat.

“Bring me the person responsible for this, bring them to me, so that I may have peace” She smiled rubbing the back of his neck.

Nat rose from his crouched position without delay, rain cascading off his hair and down his brow. He trudged past Case with resolute determination, leaving the wailing matriarch Stone behind in the mud. Case followed closely behind him, stealing one last glance at the heartbroken woman before joining Nat by the hovercar. The glow of neon billboards bathed the burial ground in an eerie light, casting long shadows over towering skyscrapers that loomed above them on the cliffside. Nat walked on, a visage of grief against the backdrop of the city's bright lights. The persistent rain pelted down onto their hunched shoulders, muffling out the sound of Stone's cries and the slapping of their feet against the slick pavement.

As they rounded a corner, a gust of wind lifted up their coats and drenched them to the bone. For a moment they paused, battling against nature's fury, then continued through it - two bleak figures in an endless sea of concrete and steel.