"Come on over then! The more the merrier!"
The more the merrier, huh? She thought to herself. She would’ve liked that. She really would have liked that. To have more people. Did that necessarily mean everyone? No, it could’ve been anyone really. A family, a close friend, a sibling of a friend, a random passerby, the abundance of strangers she meets every day. It could’ve been anyone, it didn’t have to be someone special. Just someone. Someone not to blame her for-...
Before she knew it, she was staring at something white. It greeted her coldly, unflinching. A clean and pure white. So pure that it was almost too clean. Instinctively, her hand moved towards her cheek. Her fingers came across something warm and wet running down on her skin.
“...” without a word, she picked it up. Holding the drop of water in front of her. Through its reflection, she saw a purplette girl with water streaming down her eyes.
“Nep-Nep?” a familiar voice reached her ears.
She looked to the side, and saw Compa, sitting right beside her.
“Where...?”
“We’re in the hospital, Nep-Nep”
“Hospital? Ah...” Neptune realized the meaning of the word. “Then that means I lost huh? Seems like I lost at least… Right?”
“Mhm...” Compa simply nodded.
Silence overtook the room as Neptune was still grasping how she got here inside of her head. The last thing she remembered was IF lifting her up, and slamming her onto the ground. Maybe she passed out right then and there?
"So? Where’s IF then? Seems I can't leave due to the state that I'm in. We can talk all you two want now." Neptune said, slight aggravation in her voice. Having been forced into a situation she had been desperately trying to avoid.
"Iffy… she’s..."
"She’s what?"
“*hic*...”
Tears started to swell up more from the corner of Compa’s eyes. Neptune immediately understood.
Her heart pounding a million times a second, Neptune leaped out of bed, ripping the IV drip needle off her arm. She made a break towards the hall, slamming the door out of her way and breaking into a sprint.
“Nep-Nep!” Compa called out to her, but her words failed to reach her in time.
The various nurses and doctors all gave suspicious looks as Neptune dashed through the hospital’s halls.
‘Where is she?’ Neptune glanced at every nameplate she passed by.
‘What happened?’ Neptune peered through every window she could, hoping, praying even that little troublemaker wasn't among them. But if Compa had started crying then…
"Nep-Nep!" Compa called from behind, her stamina rapidly dwindling as she barely kept up her pace
She ignored her old friend's calls and focused on finding that uptight girl.
She turned a corner...
It was the first room to her left the moment she turned a corner. It had a large glass wall separating the patient from the outside world. The sign card beside the glass window had three very distinct letters. The patient laid there, in that room. With eyes closed, with tubes and wires attached, almost filling that patient’s small body to bursting. The various machines sang their tune of life, a gray symphony marking a person’s foot in the grave.
She laid there, her brown hair the only thing coloring the monochrome room.
What happened? Who did this? How badly was she hurt? Did someone sneak up on them? Had someone attacked them? Had she ended up in the state because she was trying to protect Compa? How long had she been like this?
She… She’d wake up right?
“Nep-Nep...” Compa called out from behind the purplette, finally having caught up to her, tired and sweating.
“Wh… what happened to Iffy…?” her voice was shaky from the sight; barely audible for Compa.
“Iffy…" Compa huffed and doubled over, "She got hurt from fighting you...”
“-!” her blood ran cold. She couldn't believe her ears. Her pupils shake, her chest beating a hundred times a second. Her brain tried to go back to when they fought in the forest. What happened? What happened? What happened?
“From fighting… me?”
“Mhm...” Compa simply nodded.
“B-but how…? Iffy beat me and I lost consciousness, right?” Neptune argued as she turned towards Compa. Her eyes were begging that what she just said wasn’t true.
“No… you rose up and transformed. And then you cut her...”
“C-cut her…?”
Compa looked away… “Mhm...” and nodded.
Something shattered from underneath Neptune. Or like a witch choking her beating heart. Or like being braided by a hot metal rod. She transformed and cut her? She can’t remember doing that, the last thing she remembered was getting knocked out. And besides she couldn’t transform, not anymore. She didn't have the shares to do so. But if she did, then… then… then…
Her knees gave way, as the full gravity of the situation finally reached her head.
Compa caught her before she hit the floor. Letting out a small sigh of relief, she gently placed her on the floor, with her back on the glass wall.
“She’s… gonna be fine, right?” Neptune asked, holding Compa’s arm; her grip shaking.
Compa didn’t answer. Rather, she couldn’t answer.
“Tell me she’s going to be fine. Come on, this is just a joke. Right...?”
“...Nep-Nep...”
“SHE’S GOING TO BE FINE, RIGHT COMPA!?”
Neptune bellowed her plea. For a moment, the whole world seemingly went silent. As if the audience were holding their breath, waiting in anticipation for the congo-haired nurse to answer.
“It’s… I can’t say...” Compa finally let out meekly.
Neptune grabbed Compa by her shirt and brought her close to her in frustration. “What do you mean you can’t say!?”
“She lost a lot of blood. Because you cut her from shoulder to waist, one of her lungs, liver, and intestines were cut open. She went into shock. It missed her heart, but only by a slim margin...”
“But she’ll be fine right!? I mean this is Planeptune after all! We have the best medicine in the world right!?" Neptune asked, begging Compa to reassure her.
“She’s in a coma, Nep-Nep.” Compa shook her head in response, denying the purplette.
“But there might be a chance sh–”
“And not only that, but her spine was also damaged, and we don’t know yet if it affected her or not...”
“Nep-Nep… *hic!*... Sh… she might…"
Compa hugged Neptune as her words jumbled themselves into nothing. The millions of emotions that had been swirling inside her, quickly burst out of her like a geyser...
“WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!”
She cried. She cried as loud as her heart could cry out. Her arms shake uncontrollably, praying for a release from this nightmare.
----------------------------------------
The next thing Compa knew after that, was the pure white ceiling staring back at her. Something soft was pressing against her back, and something warm was draped on her. It didn’t take long for her to realize that she was on a bed.
She looked around, but no one was beside her.
“Nep-Nep?” she asked, but no one answered.
Compa stood up from the bed, wore her signature bag that was lying on top of the bedside cabinet, and walked out of the room. She asked her other fellow nurses and doctors, but they hadn’t seen her.
All of them shook their heads. Apart from the earlier excursion, they had not seen her since.
Which only left one option…
Compa quickly thanked her coworker for trying to help and navigated her way out of the hospital. She knew where to go, and if she wasn't there, then she'd wait.
----------------------------------------
“Hehehe...” She drank the bottle of alcohol held in her hand like it was water, disregarding the danger of burning her throat.
"Haaaah! That's hits the spotttt…!" she exclaimed, her breath reeking of alcohol as she walked along the streets of Planeptune.
"Eh…? Emptyyyy?"
With unclear thoughts, and hazy vision, she inspected the bottle in her hand. Its contents already transferred to the belly of the one holding it.
"Useless!"
She threw the empty bottle onto the ground. It breaks into pieces, warranting a look from the passersby around her. Not minding the looks, she pulled out another bottle of alcohol from within her shirt.
"But it's okay~! I have another one riiiiiight here!"
She brought up the new bottle of alcohol towards her mouth, its cork still snuggly in place. With her teeth, she aggressively pulls the cork out of the bottle through gum strength alone, making a satisfying pop.
"Hah~! It's open! Drink~! Drink~!" she downed this bottle just like the last, like drinking water, disregarding the burning sensation in her throat.
"Eh? Whadya say about it partnerrrr?" she offered to no one in particular.
She stood there on the sidewalk like a lunatic for an awkward amount of time as people passed her by.
"Ah, whatever! Banzai!" noticing that no one answered, she raised her arms with glee.
She drank the second bottle of alcohol, this time not immediately downing it as she exhaled and wiped her mouth.
"Now that really hits! What a night! Wool!"
----------------------------------------
She eventually made it back to her house. It was in the form of a small, rundown shop that looked out of place in the busy street it resided in. It’s architecture and state screamed of an archaic past, but it was her humble abode and she was happy that she was able to have a roof over head.
The woman drank the last contents of the bottle and tossed it to the side, fumbling around in her pockets until she could drunkenly find her keys. With unsteady hands and an unfocused vision, she looked through her keys. She undid and unhooked the padlock, unlocked the door, and headed inside.
“Nothingggg like home…. scheet… hooo-” she immediately drops to the floor, with a loud THUD. All of the alcohol finally caught up to her. Beneath the dimly lit room, and the cold floor, sleep embraced her.
----------------------------------------
The nice spring breeze brushed through her hair, the musical ensemble of rustling leaves filled her ears and the warm gaze of the sun kept her snuggled. The grass sways around her, dancing to their tune of joy. The ambiance of murmurs, cheerful voices, laughter, softly hugging her.
She gently opened her eyes, peering through the leaves and branches to gaze at the blue sky above her.
“Nepu...? When did I fall asleep?”
She rose from her slumber and looked at her surroundings. The gentle breeze of the wind gently stroked against her cheek, as though giving her a visual tour.
She was in an all too familiar park, in an all too familiar futuristic city, that was familiarly way too advanced for its own good. A certain park famous for its very large fields and giant trees.
A park that epitomized the word ‘freedom’. Even at this time of day, people are spread out, sprinkled here and there, like pepper on a white rice. Adults and children, having all the space in the world to have fun.
“Ah…" Neptune breathed, stretching her arms,
"Now I remember where I am…” a smile formed on her face.
“I finally found you Nep-Nep!”
She turned to where the source of the voice came from. Behind her was a child, around 7-years-old, with shortcut, creamy hair that barely reached her shoulder. A kid she knew all too well, and one that’s near and dear to her heart.
“Compa!” Neptune chuckled slightly and rubbed the back of her head in embarrassment as the small child now stomps up to her with her cheeks puffed out.
“Sorry, I kinda fell asleep here. The grass is kinda comfy you know”
The cream-haired child was having none of it. She crossed her arms and put her foot down, “No! Nep-Nep shouldn’t be running away! I couldn’t find you!”
“Nepu!? I’m not a little kid that runs away at a drop of the hat. I’ll let you know that I’m very adult-like”
Did you know this story is from Royal Road? Read the official version for free and support the author.
Compa shook her head, “No! No! Nep-Nep needs to sit in a corner and think about what she’s done!”
“Nepu! What do you mean?!” Neptune scrambled to stand up, looking at Compa with a frustrated look on her face. “I just found a place to sleep! That's all. Though, I don’t even remember how I even managed to get here.”
Any normal person would stop and question the purplette of her sanity after hearing that. But to the demise of Neptune, she’s talking to a kid. And kids love to take the words of adults right back at them. Such as…
“No! Being forgetful is a bad excuse! Nep-Nep should just apologize instead!”
“Ugh… Did I… That hurts my ears more than it should have” Neptune commented. A classic line she used against them. “I guess I should just take my pudding and eat it too…” she sighed, muttering under her breath dejectedly as she shook her head
She kneeled in front of the 7-year old, lining up to her eyes.
“Look, Compa. I’m sorry. Will you please forgive this little ol’ Nep?”
“Do you promise not to do it again?” Compa asked in childish stern.
“Ugh…Can’t I not do that? I’m really really sorry…”
“No! Nep-Nep should promise not to run away like a little kid!”
“Ugh… this kid…” weird emotions spring up from within her as the very words she used to discipline them were thrown right back at her. Neptune breathed deeply, and in a loud enough voice she said…
“I promise! I won’t walk off and sleep somewhere while you two are playing!”
“Okay.” Compa gave a childish nod and beamed at the woman, “Then Nep-Nep is forgiven!” The small girl held her hand in the air afterward. Perhaps it was a high five? But it didn’t seem like that's what she wanted...
Visible question marks popped up on Neptune's head as she tilted her head.
“Boo…” Compa puffed her cheeks out again, “Nep-Nep…! Come on…!”
Finally remembering how the script went, Neptune lowered her head before the child.
“Alright kiddo. Here.”
Compa put her small hand on her hair and began to pet it, messing up her hair.
“Ehehehe” she giggled at the only opportunity of superiority.
After a minute or two, the two of them began making their way back home. Walking through the beaten path that leads through the streets. Hand in hand, blessed by the ever falling sun over the horizon.
“So…” Neptune started, looking down at Compa “Where’s Iffy?” Neptune asked.
“Uh…" Compa choked on her words and went silent.
“Hm? Oh don’t tell me…”
Compa nodded dejectly, “...Iffy went home”
“By herself? I thought I already told you not to let her walk home by herself?”
“B-but…" Compa stammered, her face flushed red with embarrassment. "I tried to stop her…! B-But she wouldn’t listen and-”
Neptune let out a defeated sigh and shook her head. "Both of you are getting a scolding for the bazillionth time…"
She couldn't remember how many times she had to tell these two, especially that small brunette, that it’s dangerous to go home by themselves. It was so frequent that it had become an almost daily occurrence. Not that she minded too much, IF was still a kid after all.
The hue of the sky changed as they continued their long walk home. A comfortable silence fel between the two, enjoying the orange drape of the scenery before them. The ambiance full of people’s murmurs, laughter, and cheers, slowly comes down.
“I hope Iffy at least cooks the rice…” Neptune mumbled.
“No fair, Nep-Nep taught Iffy how to cook rice…” Compa complained.
"You’re kind of a klutz. We don’t want our rice cooker to explode again now do we?" Neptune brutally told the child.
“I’m not a little kid anymore!” said the aforementioned child.
“Not sure I believe you, given that you’re still 7”
“Mmm…!” she pouts, to which Neptune smiles heartily.
“Okay, okay. Tomorrow morning, I’ll teach you again”
“Really!?”
“Really, really. If something happens, I’ll have you wash the dishes for a week”
“Mhm!” Compa nodded eagerly, anticipation and excitement in her eyes
“Still… you’re 7 years old now huh…” Neptune said. Lightly tightening her grip on the small child’s hand, as twilight sinks in. A comforting atmosphere.
“What’s your dream, Compa?”
“Dream?”
“You know, what you want to be in the future”
“Hrmmmm… I dunno… I wanna play with Nep-Nep and Iffy and Ge-Ge forever!”
“Hm~~… that’s a nice dream…” a melancholic smile formed on Neptune’s lips.
“... But Compa, what if I can’t play with you anymore?” Neptune posed.
“Eh? Is Nep-Nep going to be busy?”
“No… I mean…” Neptune paused, trying to come up with the words to explain to the child, but quickly giving up and going with what she said instead, “Yes,really busy. Like, mega-ultra busy”
“Then, I’ll play with Ge-Ge instead!”
“But your Ge-Ge is also busy too”
“Eeeh? But it’s boring without Nep-Nep and Ge-Ge”
“When you get older, you’ll understand…”
“Everyone always says that…” a forlorn look overtook the features on the 7-year-old creamy haired girl.
“...Why can’t adults just play? it’s no fun…”
“...” Neptune can’t answer. Rather, she couldn’t.
Sure, she could have given her all the adult usual responses on why they can’t play as much. She can list all the responsibilities in the world, ask her to understand, and she knows she’ll just comply and nod without really understanding any of it.
“Compa, what’s your dream?”
“Eh?” hearing the question again; question marks pop out of the small child’s head.
“And answer me like a grown up, okay?” Neptune quickly added.
“Um… ” Compa looked down, tilted her head, and bobbed it up and down, thinking of a “grown up” answer.
“Hrmmmm… Nurse? Doctor? Daycarer?”
“Why those? That’s kinda a high-brow dream you got there kiddo…”
“Because, when I grow up, Nep-Nep and Ge-Ge will get old right? So…” the congo-haired child blushed in embarrassment, “Ehehehe…”
“When I grow up, I want to take care of Nep-Nep and Ge-Ge just like how Nep-Nep and Ge-Ge took care of us…”
“...”
Night had fallen, leaving Neptune’s mouth open. Words couldn’t describe this rosy feeling blooming within her chest. The sprinkles of glitter that brilliantly shine the little one’s genuine heart. The chaotic beauty of percussion beating like thunder within her chest, sprung forth a feeling of guilt and shame.
“That’s a good dream, Compa…” Neptune dryly replied
“Mhm!”
“That’s a good dream…”
Neptune stops under a lamplight, flies buzzing around it.
She let go of Compa’s hand and kneeled before her. A small smile on her lips as she brought the same air she always did. She took the small child’s hands and looked her straight in the eyes.
“Can you promise me something, Compa?”
“Mmm? What is it, Nep-Nep?”
“Make your dream come true, okay? No matter what happens to Nep-Nep and Ge-Ge, take care of us okay? Us adults are pretty hopeless too. And… yeah, we kinda have a few screws off our heads. So no matter what… make your dream come true”
“Mhm…” she nodded, a confused expression on her face as she wondered what was going on with Neptune.
“Haha… I guess you wouldn’t understand foreshadowing huh…” Neptune mumbled dejectedly, standing up to take Compa’s hand once more, and continuing their walk.
The stars twinkle while the sounds of the trees around them die. Their steps echo like a lullaby. This was a past that she never thought she would remember, let alone as clearly as this. A reminder of what was before…
With one deep breath, she looks up and says…
“This is a good dream…
Right, Compa?”
----------------------------------------
“Nep-Nep…?”
A familiar face, a familiar color, a familiar smell, a familiar feeling.
“…”
The buzzing of the motor generated from the contraption of spinning plastic blades to suck and push air forward humms in the background. The burning sensation in her throat reminds her of the time. The unfamiliar feeling in her head shows how much time has passed. The throbbing in her head, the beating in her chest, all slowly pulled her back from her slumber.
“You should be with Iffy, not here”
“What do you mean by that?”
“?”
“That it was a good dream?”
“...” she remained silent.
“Mmmn~!”
*DONK!*
“Ow! C-Cold!”
In Compa’s frustration, she placed an ice cube on Neptune’s forehead. Causing her to jump off of her and hitting her head on the floor.
“I have plenty more ice cubes Nep-Nep” Compa grimly reminded her old parent as she showed off a bowl of ice cubes.
“Okay! Okay! I’ll talk! I’ll talk! Ow! Dammit! My head!”
“Here, drink this milk. It’s good for the hangover” like a prepared girl scout, Compa offers a box of milk with its straw already in place.
“...”
Neptune silently takes it.
As she brings the straw to her mouth, she glances at the clock that’s hanging on the wall. It’s very early in the morning. Nepgear should be asleep, or maybe she’s pulling an all-nighter. Either way, the room next door isn’t making so much noise.
Compa sits there in front of her, unpacking some stuff from her small signature bag. A stainless steel bowl, some bottles of energy drinks, another stainless steel bowl full of ice cubes, some pills, some leaves, a pestle and mortar.
“Compa, what are you doing?”
“Huh? I’m just fixing my things. Geez, if I knew you’d be drinking I would’ve bought some medicine for the hangover and for your throat, Nep-Nep”
“I’m fine now thanks to the ice…” Neptune said as she took another sip.
“Mhmm…” Compa responded.
After taking an inordinate amount of stuff from her bag, Compa then places them all back into her small pouch, leaving only the stainless steel bowl and the energy drinks. Presumably prepared that Neptune might throw up at any time.
At the same time, Neptune had drunk the last drop of her milk. Drinking it all up way sooner than she wanted. She put down the box of milk and looked down, staring only at Compa’s legs.
“Nep-Nep… I’m up here…”
Neptune remained silent.
“Nep-Nep…”
“I can’t, Compa…”
“...”
“I just can’t. I…”
Silence befell the two. The electric fan buzzed as it cools the air between them. She stared at the straw end of her milk drink. A small drop hangs on the edge, holding on for dear life until the very last of its adhesion force gives out to the cruel gravity. That small drop falls and splatters on the floor.
“N…” Compa had attempted to say, trying to initiate a conversation.
But instead, Neptune did it for her.
“You’ve grown up, huh…?”
This time, it was Compa who remained silent.
“...20 years. It’s been 20 long years since we last talked… Mhm…”
Silence
“I’m glad you’re doing well…
You’ve got a good job, you got married, everybody in the hospital seems to like you a lot. You’re even well fed and all. That’s good. Life has been good to you, Compa”
“...Are you…?”
“Jealous? No, I’m not. I’m really happy for you. Like, really really happy”
She stopped herself, as the cool air pushed by plastic blades spinning at 300 rotations per minute, washes the fake smile on her face. The words she could never say to her, to them. A feeling she promised to herself will never reveal to them, to her. Forced open by a reminder of what once was, now pouring from her very lips.
But she tries to swallow it down as best as she can. She fights the very mouth that dares to break that seal. She can’t let them know. They shouldn’t know. She knows what happened before. She doesn’t want another take of it. And besides, they have their entire careers ahead of them. It would bother their affairs. They’ll be associated with her. They’ll be affected. They might go down a rabbit hole they can’t escape from. They shouldn’t know. Because she knows them. She raised them. She knows them enough that it hurts.
They shou–!
“Nep-Nep…?”
Congo-pink eyes level with hers. That familiar little girl, now older, is a few centimeters from her face. Her signature color fills her vision. She smells the familiar scent that was with her ever since, filling her lungs to the brim. Her hands, now holding hers, have the same warmth as it did. Their folds, the creases, her hands remember all of them well. She was still the same. She’s still the same
“Why do you make me so weak, Compa?”
She buried herself into her chest. Her scent and warmth radiating through her. Slowly thawing away her cold world.
“I’m not okay, Compa…” She embraces her for dear life.
“I’m not okay.
Every day just… hurts. Every day feels like I’m being slugged by dogoos, every day feels so suffocating. Every day, every day, every day… Ever since then…! Ever since then! Nothing’s been going my way! Because they… THEY…!”
“...” Compa rubbed the back of her parent’s head.
“What did I do wrong, Compa…? Did I do something wrong? Did I say something wrong? I just want out. It’s been 20 damn long years. I just want out. I’m so tired”
“...”
“There was never a day when I just wished I could undo it all. There was never a single day when I wished it didn’t happen. There was never a single day when I wished that I could’ve been a bit more mature. There was never a single day when I wished this was all a dream. There was never a single day! There was never a single day!
I started drinking…
I started drinking and drinking…
I started drinking to forget it all…
I started drinking so I won’t feel the pain anymore…
I started drinking so no one would bother me anymore.
Who cares if I drag the CPU name down to the dirt?
For all I care, they did this to me!
SO WHO CARES IF I SHIT, AND VOMIT ON IT!
THEY DID THIS TO ME!
THEY FUCKING DID THIS TO ME!”
Compa’s parent shook violently as she continued to rub her back. She could feel her clothes getting damp, the embrace of the girl that raised her tightens with each passing moment. And yet all she could do was comfort her and rub her back.
“I’m kinda pathetic right?”
Neptune let go, and sat up.
“It’s the reason why I avoided you two for so long… The wedding, when you found me in Virtua Forest, when you visited me…
I…
I don’t want you two to know…
*hic!*
I don’t want the image you had for me ruined *hic!* *sniff!*…
*snifff!*
I don’t want anyone to know that you’re related to a useless goddess like me…
*hic!* *hic!* *hic!*
Because I’m a useless goddess… I’m such a useless bumble of all fun, no work, just a play goddess that doesn't do shit!”
Tears streamed down from Neptune’s eyes, as she poured out the feelings she had for her adopted daughter. Her heart was pounding a million times a minute. All the things she wanted to say to her, now laid bare in front of her. Compa didn’t say anything. Of course she wouldn’t. She had to be pretty disappointed that her parent was a good for nothing, crying baby. After all these years of showing off to her, she was nothing more than a coward.
“Even so, Nep-Nep…”
And in a moment of rapture, her adopted daughter embraces her as tightly as she could.
“Even so! I still want everyone to know that you raised us!”
“—!”
“I still want everyone to know that we couldn’t have made it without you! Everything that I am right now, all the blessings I’ve received, all the good and bad that happened to me and IF, it’s all because of you, Nep-Nep!”
“R–?”
“So I don’t care what other people say! I don’t care if I lose my job! I don’t care! I just want…! *hic!* I just want Nep-Nep to be there like always! *sniff!* I want Nep-Nep to tell us everything is going to be okay! *hic!* *sniff!* I want Nep-Nep to enjoy my cooking! *sob!* *hic!* *sob!* I want Nep-Nep to eat pudding with a grin on her face! *sob!* *sob!* I want Nep-Nep to come back to me!
So don’t say something so sad, Nep-Nep!”
“...”
What words could she possibly say to that? What other excuse could she give to that!? The purpelette just kneeled there, feeling the heat of the daughter she raised. Poured out her entire heart towards her. Forcing her to declare such things. What could she possibly say to that?
“...Is it okay?”
“Mhm! *hic!*”
“...Can I really come back? *sob!*”
“Mhm!”
“*sniff!* Can I really, really come back?”
“Mhm! Mhm! *hic!* *sob!*”
“...*sniff!* *sob!*... U…! *hic!* *sob!* *sob!*... I’m… sorry…!
I’m so sorry…! *sniff!* *sob!* *sniff!*...!
I’m so…! UWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!”