The day before the grand ceremony, copious papers floated and crawled the palace floors, each containing a nonsensical note talking about how to live in peace, how omelet rice is cooked, and tips to become a successful businessman. A logo of the infamous Azure Wisdom Azalea accompanied the top-right of each letter.

The guards assembled in the throne room with papers in their hands. Some scratched their metalhead helmets as Skade read every message aloud.

“Toast an egg on low heat oil and flip before hardening. Invest in stocks!? Exercise 30 minutes every day, else you’ll become a pig pig pig PIG PIG!? WHO THE HECK dares to prank my palace while I’m here!?”

The guards fidgeted their fingers, not uttering a single word. Skade leaned back at the throne and exhaled deeply. “Don’t be a burden to my preparations. Get out! After the ceremony, once I know who caused this, be prepared to meet the devil in hell!”

The guards stepped out of the room in full sync. After the doors closed, Skade asked the retainer who was beside him, “Didn’t you utter our plans to anyone?”

“I’m afraid I’m in no position to converse with everyone important but you, Your Majesty. I would always be willing to die for the empire’s sake.”

“Then… what’s the meaning of this?” Skade gritted his teeth as he pulled out the front-most paper in his possession. Moments after realization, the retainer swallowed heavily as he wrinkled his brows. He read the contents of the paper,

“The biggest poison one can have, the most toxic fume in the environment, is one's ego.”

***

On the most awaited day within the grand palace, the ceremony of grandeur commenced, where the empire's nobles eagerly awaited their sovereign. As the night unfolded, delectable pre-served delicacies adorned the tables. Each bite promised a journey of flavors. Most enjoyed the precious ice cream delicacy crafted personally by the empire’s genius confiseur.

The atmosphere buzzed with anticipation, as all eyes eagerly awaited the arrival of the night's esteemed host – the king himself. However, in the place of the king, the retainer announced that Their Majesty may come in last minute due to emergency preparations. He advised them they eat their fills before the program began to avoid interruptions.

Even if hunger didn’t visit the nobles’ stomachs, the empire put effort into enhancing the representation and aroma of the food. Everything is self-served, and no servants appear within the room. This made every extra waste scatter across the floor like a pig’s den.

An hour passed, and the king made the entrance and sat on a gold-crafted throne over the stage where the spotlight points. The retainer followed as he stood behind the king. Every noble bent their knees down and bowed over the king.

The king stood up and announced, “Everyone, I would like to commence the start of the ceremony with open arms. For our brothers and sisters, whose minds are set on the empire’s evolution and development, I salute you with all of my blood. Rest assured that this commemoration will end smoothly as you enjoy the last of this night.

“I would like to inform you that your loyalty to my sovereign will be requited, as my devotion to our caste will never melt away. Our glory will be passed down to the new generation and mark the history of Briston. These offerings are made certainly to pique the cuisines suitable for entitled aristocrats who swore to protect the empire’s name.”

The king raised his glass of drink above where everyone could see. “I raise this glass as the practice of gratitude for this heartfelt adherence. Cheers!” The nobles imitated the king’s actions and cheered in joy.

The king sat with a smile of anticipation and whispered. “Everything was going well. Before we move on to our next agenda, I would like to start with entertainment. My retainer, could you please stand before me?”

The retainer walked before and faced the king. Skade pulled a jewelry box from his pocket and presented it to his retainer. “As the incredibly devoted soldier of the empire, I would like to provide you a gift that you deserve.”

The retainer curved his lips with a smile. The moment he touched the edges of the box, a loud bang echoed across the corners of the room. Skade trembled, with his eyes wide in fear, as he saw blood multiplying in his retainer’s chest. However, that's the limit of what he felt for him.

The tale has been stolen; if detected on Amazon, report the violation.

As the retainer fell to the floor, Skade saw a figure of a hooded girl holding a gun pointed at him, leaking smoke from the last fire. When the girl removed her hood, Skade’s face turned pallid white. Unable to speak, his legs weakened as his racing pulse prevented him from moving. The face she saw haunted the moment of the same person he executed weeks ago.

“Q… Quimora…”

The girl waved her other hand and smiled, emitting terror, “Haven’t seen you in a minute, Your Majesty.”

***

Not withdrawing my gun, I joked, “It’s been seven years since I bit my lip while faking my proposal to you. I’ve heard that you enslaved a new queen candidate again. I suppose it’s only me, or is this barn-of-a-place too janky?”

“Y–You can’t fool me. Quimora… is dead! Aren’t you his sister?”

I turned my head and smiled with my eyes wide open, “Who knows? Wallensteins only adopted a single girl. Suppose I’m her 0.1 percent soul to get even from being beheaded.”

“G… G…” Skade stuttered.

I withdrew my gun and walked towards the remaining cuisine while uttering, “Guards? Weren’t all the exits locked inside out? I would be bothered while enjoying the feast offered to nobles like me.”

I took a cup of ice cream and luxuriated in a scoop into my mouth. As I licked every corner of my mouth to savor the taste of my loved delicacy, Skade laughed with his uvula out like there was no tomorrow. I competed with his noise with my maniacally dreadful chuckle… Since I’ll be stealing his tomorrow from him.

When he stopped, I uttered, “The biggest poison one can have, the most toxic fume in the environment, is one's ego.”

“Y–You’re the one…”

“A toxin wouldn’t compare to the guillotine I crawled upon. Project Schrodinger is a 404 bullshit, I suppose it’s nonsense to gather domesticated animals for no reason. A box where pigs and a toxin live; nobody from the outside knows what the outcome will be. Your audience was still confused. Why don’t you, the sole betrayer and a crazy hypocrite, give them a grasp of the situation?” I exclaimed and clicked my fingers up high.

A few nobles kneeled and fell down the floor, holding their necks. While the others screamed in panic with palled faces, they imitated the same effects like a contagious virus, like a domino. Sounds of groans, moans, and struggles resonated.

In a mere minute, silence took over the atmosphere. The ceremonial room became a morgue where lifeless bodies lay down on the ground in random positions. It felt like a disaster massacred a locked-down city full of infected people.

I covered my slacked mouth with amazement and yelped. “Speed… and well deserved. I never shifted from Plan A to Plan Z this quick! I humbly appreciate making this mission impossible a piece of cake.”

Skade leaned back on his throne and smirked, “People only unite when faced with a common enemy. I feared getting this plan scattered out, but it seems that you know my intentions.”

I giggled, “If I only knew this was your idea, we’d be childhood best friends, I suppose. Roze may take a liking to you.”

“ROZE!? Does that mean you’re the apostle of Entropy?”

“She’s the worst Mary Sue in the fanatical history, a befogged personality cloudier than Japanese censorship. We’re connected to the same beliefs, but I’m afraid we had contrasting goals.”

“Not really, Quimora. I feel like you’ll do the same thing as me. To eradicate all things that I hate, becoming one is necessary.”

“Sounds like a real villain. However, to maintain the scales, only one villain should remain,” I remarked, spinning my Tilda and pointing it to him. I pulled the trigger, dragging my body backward as I shifted my view up. The pop slightly deafened my ears. Unluckily, the bullet only pierced his shoulder.

“ARGH!” He screamed as the heat of pain reached his senses. “Now you’re talking! I’ll bring you a fight that you can never win.”

I clicked, “Tsk! This limp body has low air resistance to blowjobs. I hate using the Roze-given ability. But if you’re the only monster in here, may the universe forgive me.”

Before I extended my palm, which nearly triggered the black hole summon, I heard a scream that struck a familiarity in my memory. From the right tunnel of the room leading to the kitchen, the fully-bruised Cyrill in a servant dress weakly ran towards me with her remaining energy. “Miss tenant!”

Due to her slow speed, Skade quickly caught her and gripped her neck with his elbow. He pulled out a blade from his back and pointed it at her next.

“A typical holding cliche?” I chortled “Only terribad characters end up forcing corners to a fair showdown. Even Entropy won’t accept disciples whose future divides to dead ends.”

“I don’t care! You move, and I’ll end her life! Go on, I’m open-minded!”

“Declaring your loss already? Go get a coin, find a mother, and cry while sucking her milk. Your delayed adulting would only isolate you from reality.” Even with the gun on my waist level, I carefully aimed at his other elbow, disarming the knife in Skade’s hand.

The pain delivered by the bullet freed Cyrill who ran and hid at my back. As we stepped back, gawking around to find an escape route, his hysterical turned his skin purple. His limbs puffed like a balloon nearly popping, and his nose and mouth combined into a cylindrical form. The transformation ripped his torso clothing into shreds.

The overgrowth of his huge orc-like body formed shadows that covered me and Cyrill. As he roared, I whispered, “The pig king has appeared.”