“Can we talk?”
Emilio could not help but tense at the sudden presence of the boy. Their previous encounters had not exactly been pleasant. Even seemed to notice his wariness. He took a step back and raised his hands.
“I just want to talk. Can we … go somewhere private?”
Emilio raised an eyebrow. “Last time you wanted to talk, I almost died. Forgive me if I do not trust you enough to go with you to a secluded place.”
“It doesn’t have to be secluded.” He said softly. “We can go to one of the balconies. It’s still light out. There are many people outside and on other balconies. You can easily call for help if I try something. I just… I need to talk to you.”
“Why can’t we talk here?”
“This … this is the staircase. We would be obstructing the way. I would… really rather speak to you in private.”
He frowned. The boy did seem … desperate. He was shifting from foot to foot. He looked a bit like a kicked puppy, he had that same look on his face that Jeremiah usually had when he knew he did something wrong. He let out a soft sigh.
“Alright. But make it quick.”
Curse his soft heart.
Evan nodded and made his up the stairs. Emilio exhaled softly and followed him. It did not take him long to go one of the balconies that dotted every floor of the dormitories. As they stood facing each other in awkward silence, Emilio desperately wished he had brought Sal with him. He would have been much more reassured with this trusted companion.
“What is it?” He asked curtly.
Evan seemed to hesitate for a moment before taking a deep breath. “I … wanted to apologize.”
Emilio blinked. “.... What?”
He… had not expected that.
“I want to apologize,” Evan repeated, and then continued speaking without giving Emilio the time to respond. “I know… I know a simple apology will not make things right, will not make up for how I behaved and what I did to you. But I still… I do not know what else to do.”
Evan took a deep breath and bowed. “I am sorry. For everything.”
Emilio shifted. He was used to servants and peasants bowing to him but still… having a fellow Academy student bowing to him did not sit well with him.
“You do not have to-” he paused, frowning as he was unable to phrase his thoughts. “What happened was not right. I do not know if I can forgive you… but I am not petty or sadistic enough to make you grovel for forgiveness. Besides, what happened after the fight was because you lost control of your mana. It was more harmful to you than it was to me. So, please, stop … this. Raise your head.”
Evan straightened and looked him in the eyes for a long moment, long enough to make him feel uncomfortable. “No, even before all of that, the things I did … I should not have -”
“Then why did you?” Emilio asked, frowning. “You are here apologizing to me. That means you have enough conscience to understand that what you did was wrong. Then why did you do it?”
Evan dropped his gaze to the floor, a frown marring his face. He seemed to be thinking for a long moment. Just when Emilio opened his mouth to speak and say that he did not need to answer, the boy spoke.
“I was angry.” He said in a low voice. Emilio paused. He had known that Evan had been angry at him. What he did not know was the reason. He did not say anything, however. The other boy seemed to take the time to find the appropriate words.
“I was angry that… you got special treatment, a pass as a Laik, just because you were a noble. I was angry that you get to come into the Academy owing to your noble blood. I was angry that an exception was made for you when there are actual peasants, who are denied all opportunities despite having mana. You were here, enjoying world class education, when a commoner in your place would have been abused and killed a long time ago.”
Emilio opened his mouth to protest, to deny his words. But Evan … he had a far off look on his face. That look made Emilio swallow the indignant words that were on the tip of his tongue. Instead, Emilio took a moment to gather his own thoughts before speaking.
“I will not say that I was not given this opportunity for being a noble. That did play a role. If I were not a noble, if my father were not a Baron, if he had not the connection with the Archmaster … then I do not think I would be here today. Perhaps people would have feared and scorned me and I would have been harmed or, yes, died, before my ability got the chance to even be discovered. But…” he frowned. “... that does not mean I had it easy. That does not mean I did not feel the pain and misery of being a Laik in this world. That does not mean I did not face scorn and prejudice and hatred. I do not think I have to give a demonstration of that to you. The behavior of some of our fellow students is more than enough proof.”
Stolen from Royal Road, this story should be reported if encountered on Amazon.
He took a deep breath. Talking about all of this clawed at old wounds. But … he had a feeling that he had to speak openly with this boy.
“I do not know what happened to make you so angry at me. But my noble blood does not protect me from the prejudice of the world. Yes, perhaps, my father’s shelter made it less harsh on me. But I cannot be under his shelter all the time. And, more importantly, it is not for my noble blood that I am here. I am here for this … strange ability that I was somehow given. Even now I do not have mana, I cannot feel mana. I am still a Laik, just one who can talk to plants and animals. And I am only here because the Archmaster thought I would make an interesting specimen to research on and an entertaining spectacle.”
Evan was silent, looking at him with eyes that were stormy and flashed with emotions faster than he could recognize. Emilio wanted to stop, but he could not. The feelings and emotions and words that he had suppressed all these days, and put a mask over were finally coming out. The mask of a happy boy trying to do his best with his lot was cracking.
“Do you know how much it hurts, Evan, to be unable to feel something that comes as easy as breathing to the rest of the world? To watch your little brother grow and speak about things that you cannot understand because you have never felt them? To see scorn and derision in the eyes of your own mother because you are nothing but a failure? To watch the people who served and doted on you look down upon you because it turned out that you were a useless Laik? To suffocate every single moment, with every breath you take, dreading what the future holds for you? Do you, Evan?”
His voice had not raised, but it was cracking. It was only when Evan reached out toward his face almost absently, making him flinch away, did Emilio realise that he had tears running down his face. He let out a shaky breath and wiped his eyes.
“Whatever the reason you felt angry,” Emilio said softly. “You had no right to do what you did.”
“I know,” Evan finally spoke. “I was angry because I felt it was unfair. To us, to all the commoners who suffer every day, hoping that one day they would get a chance to get out of that mire, only to be pushed down by nobility if they even get that chance. I was angry that you, who should have been at the bottom of the ladder, rose above because of your noble blood. I thought that you used your connections to get in here. And it made me… so, so full of rage, when I thought of my people suffering and dying on the streets.”
“But you cannot put the blame of that on me.” He said softly. “This is the top Academy in the world. They do not take students just based on their noble blood. I would not even be here if not for-”
“I know that!” Evan interrupted. “But my anger clouded my judgment.”
“Clearly. So much so that you accused me of prostituting myself for a spot here.”
The boy flinched at that. “That… that was out of line. I … really apologize. Please tell me how I can make it up to you.”
He frowned. “I … really do not know. I do not know if you even can. I am not ready to … to forgive what happened.”
Evan slumped. Emilio could not help but feel a pang of sympathy for him. After a moment, he decided to ask, “What … what made you come to apologize? Are you not angry anymore?”
“No, I am.” Evan shook his head. “But not at you. I am angry at the unfairness of it all. After … my mana reacted to my anger and I went wild, I do not remember much. But when I woke up, the heavy rage bearing on my mind was cleared. It was like … fog clearing. According to the healer, letting out that tainted rage actually helped my state of mind, but my mana veins needed rest. So … I had quite some time to think. I came to realize a few things.”
“What things?”
“That … you are no spoiled noble brat. You had clearly practised a lot. That you did not ask to be here. The commotion your father made when he came to interrogate the Archmaster was quite loud, you see. And that … I was blinded by my own anger and prejudice. That I was becoming just like the nobles I hate so much.”
Evan took a deep breath. “So… from the bottom of my heart, I apologize. Please, if I can do anything to make it up to you, I will.”
Emilio exhaled softly. He felt… raw. Vulnerable. He had not expected to lay his heart out to this boy he barely even knew. But … it felt like a step in the right direction. Up until now, with a few exceptions, he had only found enmity and scorn. Those exceptions came in the forms of Professors who were too busy in their craft to pay mind to his status, an Aunt, a boy as isolated as him, and a fae.
He had never connected with someone like this. Laying their emotions bare… it felt as if a sort of … solidarity had begun to form. There was little place for friendship or … even forgiveness yet. But … Emilio felt as if the heavy heart he felt when seeing the boy unconscious in the infirmary bed had lightened just a bit.
“I … do not think there is anything you can do now. I will… need some time. A lot has happened and I do not… I do not know how to feel about all this.”
“I understand. Just … just know that my apology is sincere. I will wait for your forgiveness, even if it never comes.”
With that, Evan seemed to be done speaking. He presented another shallow bow, before turning on his heels and walking away.
Emilio would stand there for a long time, his chest feeling like a raw wound, before making his way to the dormitory. The heavy thoughts would soon take a backseat, however, as he would come to an absolute disaster of a room, resulting from what would seem like a fight that broke out between Balsea and Sal, when the Leviathan, in Balsea’s words, “challenged my right to be your eternal companion!”
Emilio would smile, shake his head, hug both of them, and then get to cleaning his room after a thorough scolding that would cow the two creatures.