Cath was, let's just say... Upset.
Not what I'd expect after saving her life, but what I'd expect after stripping her in front of a monster. Even if it was just to her underwear, and it was necessary, these didn't cancel each other out.
"Lambert you pervert." She glared, holding her falchion. "And a coward too. Running away, then healing your enemy? And then giving him our food, just what were you thinking, you moron?"
"But I was hungry." The ogre noted, glancing back at her.
"Bastion was hungry," I confirmed, walking next to him.
"Shut up, you idiot!" She yelled, poking my back. That chunk of metal was surprisingly sharp. She used it to keep us both at arm's length. "What are we supposed to do now? His partners took the Princess."
"What did you expect from this suicidal plan?" I asked with newfound bravery. The kind you get after saving a life, or get backed by an ogre. It felt nice, to say what was on my mind for once. "I hate to break it to you, but the Elder wanted us dead. Who would send the three of us to fight an actual deity? It's the perfectly justified political assassination."
"Don't you dare to soil the Elder's name!" Cath demanded, waving her sword around. "She has no reason to do that. There were no resources to spare, but we had to deal with Alexandra fast."
"You are one of the Twelve Champions, right?" I asked the huge green creature, and he nodded. "How did you know where to find us?"
"A messenger with the Shaman's Seal told us." He shrugged, revealing it without hesitation. Didn't sound like a lie though. "The Demon Lord ordered the capture of the Princess as the only threat to him, that's all."
"And where's the rest of you?" Cath asked, still quite hostile. "I heard you're always deployed together... Or did you underestimate us?"
"I mean they pretty much won," I noted, barely audible. I could feel her stare burn a hole into my back. "Never mind, forget what I said."
"I know little, as I was passed out most of the time, but there was a storm..." He noted, pondering. "When I woke up, it was just the Captain, Fang and me. Then a strange thing came floating, and poof, we were here."
"What floating thing? And poof? From where?" She asked.
"Last thing I remember, we were approaching the Gates of Hell."
"The Goddess of Luck... The Princess felt her too." I speculated. "She teleported them. Is she working with the New Order now?"
"We met by chance... The Captain convinced her to help." He shook his head. "But I'm hungry now, can I get that thing from earlier?"
"Sure, we should set up camp soon anyway." I agreed and reached for my Bag of Holding. There was lots to talk about next to a good meal, but Cath poked me again with her sword.
"We're not stopping yet, and don't feed him all our food, you moron."
"His name is Bastion, and he saved your life," I noted, rubbing my shoulder. "This is no way to express your gratitude... And for me as well."
"Sure, who knows how many died by his hands?" She sounded angry.
"I never killed." The ogre claimed. "My name comes from my role. Bastion has to protect the others, we intended to take the Princess alive."
"You'll have to forgive me for not believing that." Cath fumed.
"As I said, he helped save your life. Answered all your questions too." I reminded her, but I could tell where she was coming from. "Maybe think for yourself once instead of repeating the dogmas of the Elder."
I expected a retort, but the paladin remained silent. I used this opportunity to pull the food out and was about to send the ogre for firewood when a loud shriek made me jump. A bird flew out of the forest, chasing its prey. It looked like a goblin, and the bird was at least three times its size, even larger than Bastion, but he didn't hesitate.
"A thunderbird!" Cath yelled. "It can cast lightning, we need to run."
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While every cell in my body agreed with her, I couldn't make the same mistake twice. If only I knew some offensive spells. But I could at least shield the ogre from the lightning and heal him if I had to. The bird screeched, diving into the small creature, but Bastion got there first.
The bolt came with a thunderous clap, but I was prepared, grounding my green ally, which drew the enemy’s attention to me. For something of that size, it flew incredibly fast. Now that I directly faced it, I panicked. I almost saw the insides of its beaks, about to close around me when a sudden flash smashed its body into the ground, barely missing me.
It rolled past me from the momentum, the head no longer attached, and my gaze met with the paladin glaring at me angry.
"I took an oath to protect you, but why?" She shouted at me. Her pretty face had blood splatters on it. "You ran away when you had to protect the Princess, and now you stand and fight for your sworn enemy?"
"It was a nice swing, Captain of the Guard." The ogre noted, walking towards us. "You saved this child's life. Thank you."
"Just call me Cath, damn it." The paladin lowered her sword. "I only saved this idiot, not your kind, and I won’t do it again."
"I'm not his kind, I'm an orc." The little one claimed bravely. Given how she was probably chased around for a while, she was still in better shape than me. "I thank you too, Cath. My name is Mabel, I was separated from my tribe when that bird attacked us. Our village is nearby."
"Do you want me to escort you home?" Bastion offered with a smile.
"Yes, please, If we take the bird, there is a great cook in our village, that will make a splendid meal for you as a thanks." She claimed. "He is a bit weird, but the food he makes is just excellent..."
"Wait a second, no." Cath protested, wiping off the blood from her face. "We don't have time for this, and you are our hostage, Bastion."
"Oh? I didn't know that." He shook his head. I was still under a strange spell, so didn’t protest, but Mabel laughed.
"You're a hostage too? It's so funny." She giggled for whatever reason. "A goblin and a beastman came to the village yesterday who had a human hostage. Now you perfectly match, two humans with an ogre."
"W-what did you say?" I finally came to my senses. "Did she have purple hair? The human I mean, the hostage."
"Huh? She did, but how did you know?" She asked surprised, and our gaze met with the paladin. "And she said she was a Princess from the north, and the Twelve Champions captured her, or something..."
"We shall escort you back home then." Cath offered valiantly all of a sudden. "Are they still there? Was she all right?"
"Sure, they needed some treatment from our shaman..." Mabel explained, pondering. "I think they were attacked by a pack of wolves just outside our village, they are real troublemakers. The goblin got chewed up pretty badly."
"Oh, the Captain?" The ogre yelled, the first time I heard him this loud. The ork girl looked on curiously. "Did he survive?"
"Yeah, yeah, don't worry. What a small world, huh?" She asked, grinning. "The village is this way. We have a shaman who likes to shut himself in but is pretty good at healing. He saved another champion or something just the day before too. We got a lot of strange visitors..."
She happily chattered along the entire way. The ogre carried the remains of the bird, while we followed behind. The girl must have had some excellent sense of direction because she led us through the woods without any visible paths to show the way, and I envied her bravery and how she could just talk and talk to strangers like us.
I felt good about saving her, even if my merit was nonexistent. But I didn't run away this time, and... Well, whatever, I was saved too, in the end. Soon the small village she promised was in front of us.
It was nothing special but seemed rather alive. Orcs ran around with spears and yelled at each other scaring me at first, but it all calmed down when they noticed the missing girl. By the looks of it, they were about to launch a search party for her. Now everyone celebrated.
A huge, strange-looking orc embraced her, covering the top of her head in kisses, and shaking the ogre's hand for some time after. He seemed to be wearing similar clothes as the women of this tribe, but he was the largest, most muscular man in here. Bastion was a little taller, even though all ogres were huge.
The tribesmen had no issue with us coming along either. They approached Cath to thank her, but the paladin couldn't handle the situation. We still looked for the Princess to be honest, but she was nowhere to be seen. I just hoped they hadn't left the village already.
But I soon forgot about her.
"Mabel!" I heard someone shout and it wasn't an orc's voice. A beastfolk came rushing towards us, relieved that the young girl returned home. She had long black hair in braids and a fluffy tail, the ears of a cat, and was stunningly beautiful. The short tunic left her perfectly shaped thighs bare, and her slim body curved in all the right places.
"Thank God, you're safe!" She yelled, opening her arms for a hug.
God... Goddess... She sure looked godly. That sent my brain into overdrive. No, she didn't just look like a goddess, she looked like the Goddess. I spent countless hours looking at her descriptions, memorizing her True Name. Learning the only spell that could defeat her.
Banishment was the closest humanity got to cracking teleportation magic. It required a tremendous amount of mana that could tear open the fabric of space and time. Only saints and gods had the right amount, with their sacred contracts, servants, and believers, they hoarded it together.
They were connected with these strong threads, waved in and out through the fabric of reality. If someone knew their True Names they could unlock their mana with a trick. Reality would be torn open, and before it imploded on itself they would be dragged out into the vacuum between the dimensions by these. Once the tear closed, not even gods could return.
She stood right ahead of me, as the Elder put it the very purpose in life. Her arms were spread out for a hug, I wished she were to hug me instead... I longed to kiss those perfect, thick lips, so incredibly beautiful... I fell in love at the very first sight. In another world, I would have done anything to please her. To make her smile, to protect her... But here and now, I cast Banishment on her...