As per goblin-kind tradition, the battle began by establishing which goblin could hiss better.

‘I’ve come to challenge you, worthless one,’ the other goblin hissed, barely a head above the snow. ‘Come and fight me, if you dare.’

‘I see only ears speaking,’ Snarl hissed with as much scorn as it could muster against the smaller goblin. It being hardly seen was befitting of a goblin as lowly as it was. ‘Perhaps you should come back when you are an adult?’

Dissing another goblin’s height was an effective way to get them. The other goblin was seething because Snarl pointed out its inferior height.

‘Your skin is so brown, like stool, and scarred like bark,’ the other goblin jumped out of the snow and arched its back as it approached.

Ah yes, the classic skin color insult. It was not working, because Snarl knew it was the most green goblin in the world. Even if the words stung a little. ‘You have tiny flat fangs, herbivore!’

‘Your legs are floppy, like toads!’

‘Your climbing is as good as a lizard,’ Snarl grinned when the other goblin smiled, right before delivering the blow. ‘A DEAD lizard.’

‘Your ears are short.’ Snarl gasped. Not the ears! That was a low blow. Especially from a smaller goblin. It continued the savage attack. ‘And one of them is clipped!’

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‘HISS!’

‘HISSSS!’

With the round of preliminary insulting and hissing out of the way, and with Snarl’s pride only slightly bruised, it was time for the second phase. The one he could never reach with Door protecting the mighty cave.

After a battle of wits, it was only proper to start with a battle of brawn.

Finally, something to feed its instincts, after so long!

Belly joust!

Both goblins screamed into the air, shrill and sharp screams that would’ve made a baby goblin cry, before rushing into each other. Snarl jumped and extended its belly in front of itself, and the other goblin did the same. They crashed into one another with a loud boom, the other goblin was sent flying back into the snow.

Snarl stood there, proud of the belly it grew during its stay with Nana, the giant.

It was now time to deliver the finishing blow.

‘My name is Snarl,’ It squeaked. ‘Warren Lord of giant cave Nana. Goblin of the Mystical Forest. Survivor of Silent Death!’

The other goblin jumped out of the snow, face frozen from the shock.

‘You are named goblin?’ the little creature yelped. ‘You escaped Silent Death!?’

Snarl stood proudly. The opponent was defeated without needing to go through extra steps. It was disappointing to not go all out, but the enemy was significantly weaker than Snarl. It had to be this way.

‘My ear was bitten by Silent Death,’ Snarl said. ‘My body scratched by its talons! And I still liv- aaah!’

Snarl saw the white bird flying and bolted to the hole it used to leave, hearing the bird screeching angrily as it saw the delicious looking goblin one. Snarl pulled the rock back to plug the hole and ran back into the cave. It reached Window and dared a peek of the outside.

The other goblin dove into the snow while Silent Death was chasing Snarl, and fled like a coward. It left a bitter taste in Snarl’s mouth. A taste that could only be washed by ample amounts of MILK.

Today was both a victory and a defeat.