Honestly, it's hard to imagine we even got to this point after I started this novel with no big hopes to be where it is today. I was even surprised that people actually seemed to enjoy it to any degree despite my flaws as a writer, much more so early on. Along the way somewhere though, I started to realize I might actually be able to pull it off and make writing my life if I put in the hard work. Of course, putting in the hard work is the difficult part.
If you've been following this novel for long, then you know that at some point releases became spotty. I used to publish way more regularly, but at some point I started taking long breaks. Part of it was due to my health and commitments with college. I have had diabetes since I was 10 years old, and I haven't taken care of myself well enough so over time problems started popping up right and left. My sleeping schedule got turned upside down, with me going months on end sleeping at 6 am and waking up at 6 pm, yet feeling tired the entire day and making it extremely hard to focus on writing or doing my college assignments. Even now I'm still facing problems that I'm currently dealing with, but honestly despite all that the main reason that I took these long breaks is because I started losing confidence in my story and writing.
Over time, the growth of the novel stagnated as one might expect. I was thankful that I was still able to maintain a steady reader base, but it was far from being able to reach the heights I was hoping to, and it seemed my dream of being a full time author wouldn't really happen with this story. I thought that maybe the story just wasn't good enough, or my weaker writing towards the beginning potentially turned a lot of people away. I started to consider writing an entirely new story, but even that seemed difficult with the problems I was facing and unfortunately I was at a point in my life where I needed to start earning my keep, which I just wasn't able to do with writing right now.
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But still, I never quite gave up or commited to doing something else. I continued to write chapters, even if I missed weeks or months at a time, but I kept doing it. I think that even if only a few people continued to enjoy the story, it was still rewarding for me to keep writing it, and it would feel unfair to those that supported me to abandon it or start something else. I mean, I still notice some familiar folks that have stuck through all these long pauses reading and commenting under the chapters, and for that I must thank you. If there are still people reading after so many breaks, then I must be doing something right at least.
It was around last year then that I was presented with the possibility of publishing this novel as a book. I honestly still had my doubts about this story, if it was even worthy of being published, so much so that I initially even thought about refusing the offer, but I eventually changed my mind. I was convinced that if I wanted to take the next step it would be through this.
I'm aware that stubbing stories is not a popular decision, and that may leave some readers betrayed or disappointed. Still, I know that this is how I can take a step forward towards my dream of being a full time author, so even if you don't support this decision, I am hoping that you can at least understand it. Whether you choose to abandon this story or continue to support it, I must thank you either way because I know without the long time readers keeping my motivation up through some difficult times I would never have reached this point.
Sorry for rambling on, but if you got to this point thank you for reading my thoughts and I hope you continue to support me and the novel!