I came back home with a large canvas bag over my shoulder, in which I had stowed the packs of Mountain Dew. My plan was to put the bag down at first opportunity, then head straight into the shrine temple to call my brother.

That plan was instantly demolished by a chorus of happy growls.

"Papa! Papa! Papa's home!"

Rara, Riri, Koko, and Kyakya, my younger daughters, burst out from somewhere on the temple grounds where they had been playing, and descended upon me at once.

"Okaeri, Papa! Okaeri!" they chirped, hugging me tightly in a coordinated heap.

"Moite siyaini zvezdichki," I laughed joyfully. "My radiant starlets," I repeated, nuzzling them in greeting. Rara and Riri were smothering me on either side, almost a head taller than me, while Koko and Kyakya had wrapped themselves around my legs, tails and all.

"Papa, Papa, come play with us!"

"Yes, Papa, come to play!"

"Papa, what are you carrying?"

"Papa!"

I melted like butter in a space rocket's booster from my daughters' cheerful yips and hugs, and agreed to go play with them. There was no helping it. They and Miko are the world to me.

"Where's your mother?" I asked, thinking about Miko and trying not to get too aroused.

"Oh, she's meditating," Rara said, the other three girls bobbing their snouts. "We're not to disturb her when she's doing that, right, Papa?"

"Quite right, little starlet," I said approvingly. "And your elder sisters? Why aren't you with them?"

"Oh, oh, they're playing videogames but they won't share the console!" Kyakya piped up indignantly. "They say we're too little yet to let us play with them!" Her clutch-sisters began at once to complain loudly.

"Ok, ok, settle down, my dears! We're going to play together and we'll have more fun that way, yes?" I said and they rumbled loudly, jumping in excitement. I resolved to have some stern talking with my elder daughters later – they ought to share and cooperate with their sisters, not discriminate them; least of all on grounds of age, when they were barely three months apart.

Yet for the time being I occupied myself with my younger daughters. We alternated between playing tag, wrestling in the front courtyard, and playing 'I spy' while resting between physical activities. It was fun and it was peaceful; as I ran and frolicked and giggled with my girls, I could imagine myself a child again, free and unburdened from the troubles of the world.

After a couple of hours, long past sunset, an enormous shadow emerged behind the shrine temple. "Mama, Mama!" the children exclaimed and rushed at her. Miko came into the courtyard and knelt down so she could hug and nuzzle her children, cooing at them with motherly affection. She lifted her amber eyes to look at me, and there was a spark of recognition. She read me like an open book.

"Children, time for dinner!" Miko called with authority. "Look, Daddy brought you something tasty to drink!"

It was a little early for dinner, but I understood at once that Miko was giving me privacy. I returned her gaze and nodded in thanks. She growled fondly in reply and went away, our daughters trailing after her like fledglings.

I couldn't hold myself. "See you later, alligator!" I called after the children.

"In a while, crocodile!" they sang in unison. Meanwhile, our elder daughters came out, asking what's for dinner and joining the general fray.

There, that's how the rhyme goes.

I went to call Alex.

I entered the shrine temple. The quiet halls had the familiar smell of sandalwood and lavender, although incenses hadn't burned for a long time now. I shuffled through the shine temple, hunched low to avoid bumping into the decorations hanging from the ceiling. The place was too small even for me, and I rarely came inside. These days it served mostly as a playground for the children, though Ruru and Roro were already too big to enter, except in the shared bedroom at the back.

Most facilities, like the kitchen and the bathroom had equivalents erected outside, in the backyard, so Miko (and once fully grown, her daughter-clones) could use them too. Though in the lavatory's case, we rarely went to it. Miko constantly used a specific spell, whose purpose was to remove any bodily waste from a given person (including herself) which then was transformed into something harmless – air most often, with a spring-clear aroma. (There's a joke in here somewhere, but I can't be bothered to look for it.)

It sounded simple at a first glance – a spell that does away with your shit. Yet in practice, it was an extremely demanding invocation: the caster had to identify the waste matter within a biological organism, transposition it out of said organism, and transmute it in another substance, all at the same time. It was very useful, indeed, but certainly nothing to be taught to a novice; although this had been one of the first spells Miko had tried to teach me. (In order to distribute the load, so to speak.) I've done my best to master it, but at most I can remove the majority of body waste, without transmuting it. In all honesty, I preferred much simpler stuff, like throwing fire and lightning from my hands.

The library was the only section of the shrine temple that had remained unaltered. It was also kept under lock and key at all times; besides the numerous priceless occult tomes and scrolls inside, it was also where Miko kept her eggs. The library occupied most of the second floor, the only other room being the old man's personal quarters. The ceiling here was much lower, to the point I had to nearly crouch to avoid knocking my noggin.

I entered the old man's room. It was a simple chamber with little decoration: a sleeping mat in one corner, a writing desk under the window, a bookcase next to it, and a small dresser at the far wall. I paused on the threshold, assailed by memories. My eyes unconsciously gazed through the window at the outskirts of the shrine temple's grounds, where a simple grave sheltered in the shadow of a willow tree. Regret and loss stabbed at me for a moment, but I clenched my fist and reminded myself why I was here.

I took out my cellphone. There was a laptop on the writing desk, connected to a makeshift junction box – the only electrical devices in the house, besides the old PlayStation 3 I had bought for the children. The junction box drew power from a small gasoline generator in the backyard, connecting to a discrete satellite dish on the roof.

Since no communications of any sort were allowed in or out of Makinata District, I had hacked my way into a telecommunication satellite servicing the west Pacific area. At first I thought breaking the encryption would be extremely hard, but the system was laughably outdated, and with a little magical nudging I had gained backdoor access after a few days of judicious probing. I used the comm-line only to call my brother; for one, to keep the chances of discovery low, and two... because I had no one else to call, really. My family was trapped with me; my best friend shared my prison. I had no other significant ties warranting such risk. At least, that's what I told myself.

(Don't involve my parents, please. That's another matter entirely.)

I powered the laptop, established an active uplink session, and punched a password on my cellphone. Then I dialed Alex's phone number.

Here's the moment where I'm going to tell you more about my brother, as promised.

Me and Alex always remained close, even after our parents' divorce. We saw each other almost daily and we went to the same school, even when we were forced to live apart. In those days, Alex was my best friend, my steadfast ally, and my thickest blood. We shared interests and quarrels alike; we fought, viciously sometimes, and yet it was the two of us against the world. We were unstoppable, the iconic duo that could take down anything.

When I went to study abroad, I took that indestructible bond with me. Though no longer physically present, Alex remained a constant companion of mine – I called him regularly, sometimes several times a day, as I toiled under the great illusion called the American dream. Alex was always there, in my brightest triumphs and darkest nights; he consoled me when I felt low, encouraged me when I was about to give up, and cheered with me when I brought great news. Even as my life slowly became a living hell, I kept steady, kept going, because there was one person in the world I could always rely on – my brother Alex, who was the sane voice on the other side of the line.

This tale has been unlawfully lifted from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere.

Now that's a title drop.

The cellphone made a long series of clicks and tones, and after a minute the line finally began ringing. Shortly after, Alex picked up.

"Alo?"

"Privet, Alex!" I greeted him warmly.

"Ooo, brato, zdrasti! Ko stava? Po kuv sluchai zvunkash? Novi yaitza ili novi dechurliga? Ili," Alex added with a little sigh, "otkril si nov nachin da chukash?"

"Nah, nah, none of those," I laughed. "It's not a new clutch, or another set of hatchlings, and neither have me and Miko discovered a new sex position. Although she is expecting to lay soon, and usually the previous batch hatches at about the same time."

"A, vyarno, dvete neshta stavaha nakup," Alex said, remembering. "E, kaji togava, kak vurvi pri tebe?"

"Well, I'm calling to tell you about my meeting with Mister Nakamura," I said. "It was due on Saturday, remember?"

"Aaa, da, da! Ii? Kaji kak mina?" Alex asked energetically.

"Ah, well; the short version is it was utter disaster," I said despondently. "Basically, we were given a choice between becoming secret weapons forever or getting imprisoned in the deepest zandan possible." I sighed and then I recalled the meeting in detail, while Alex listened carefully.

"Ne mojete li prosto da se teleportirate neide dalech i da se skriete?" my brother asked when I finished. "Ima baya pusti mesta po sveta."

"Yes, in theory we can teleport away and hide in some remote place or another around the world," I said tiredly. "But then a general manhunt – uh, I mean, monsterhunt, will be organized and it'll be only a matter of time before we will have to run again. I don't want my children to live such a life, Alex. Honestly, I don't want me and Miko to live so either. And what if we get captured again? Then it will be so much worse than it is now."

"I simply don't know what to do," I concluded.

There was a pause, during which only the static of the transcontinental orbital uplink could be heard. Then Alex hummed thoughtfully.

"Da, tui e slojna situaciya," he said. "Kakto kazvat golemite uchiteli, imash tri nachina da se spravish s edna situaciya: da ya promenish, da se otstranish, ili da ya priemesh. Purvite dve optzii ne vinagi sa vuzmojni, no tretata vinagi e nalice. Shtom nyama kakvo da napravish, priemi polojenieto. Ili, kakto obicha da kazva Shefa: 'Kat zufne jivota, stisni go za tashacite, dokato izcedish vsickiya nektar', ha-ha!"

"Oh, YEAH, go right ahead, just wax philosophical on me," I said bitterly. "You know fully well that such platitudes ring hollow when shit gets real, Alex. I can't fight my problems with passive acceptance!"

"E, kakvo iskash ot mene, Drago?" Alex replied, vexed. "Durjish se kato dete!"

"I want you to help me, Alex," I growled. "Not pass arcane wisdom onto me and pretend that's helping."

"Az ti pomagam, Drago!" my brother shouted, exasperated. "Obache ti ne iskash da me poslushash. Golyam chovek si veche, dlujen si sam da se opravyash."

"Old enough to fend for myself, is that so? Gee, thanks a lot, Alex! It's not like my troubles are something that the average adult would ever face in life!"

"Poluchi tova, koeto iskashe, nali?" Alex asked severely. "E, znaesh, che vsichko si ima cena, kazval sum ti go mnogo puti. Tova e cenata v tvoyat sluchai: tvoite mechti byaha izpulneni nagotovo, obache ti tryabva sam da namerish nachin kak da gi zadurjish."

Yes, of course Alex would say so: I got my deepest desires given for free, and it was my responsibility to keep them alive and well.

See, this was why it was so frustrating to talk to my brother sometimes. He sat in the comfort of his home, free and not considered a monster by anybody, living like a normal person. Alex had it easy; of course my situation wouldn't seem as grim to him as it was in reality. He had this infuriating tendency to dismiss my troubles as insignificant or as my fault. As if I was responsible for my parents' divorce, for my depression, for my outcast status in MIT, for my shitty teaching job in Japan, for the JSDF and everybody else being utter idiots and afraid of someone just because of how they looked! Yeah, all my fault!

And yet...

Deep down, I knew... that Alex was right. I was unwilling to admit it, but this didn't diminish the truth. This was the price I had paid for the Sea of Stars to grant me my deepest desires. If I had just wished for something else, like being a billionaire or the UN Secretary General, my life would've been so very different; but no, all my life I've dreamed about personal empowerment in an altogether different fashion, complete with a giant dinosaur wife with titties and a burgeoning progeny. And when that happened, when it really happened, reality had answered. I was happy with myself; the world wasn't obliged to be happy with me.

Yet the question remained:

Was I truly happy, after all?

"Yes... you... you're right, Alex," I said out loud. "I ought to find a way on my own."

"Vyarvam v teb, brato," Alex said with empathy. "Shte se spravish!"

"Thank you," I said quietly. We shared a silent moment. Then I spoke with steadier voice, changing the subject, "And how's life in your case? Everything fine?"

"Vsichko e tok i jitza, moi chovek," Alex replied confidently. "V momenta ot baya vreme ucha nova magiya, koyato e za astralno putuvane."

"A new spell?? About astral travel?! What, you mean, like, astral projection, spirit-travel, that kind of thing?"

"Ne, ne, ne! Imam predvid, istinsko putuvane, s cyaloto tyalo i vsichko, direktno v astrala!"

"What!? Full-body travel in the astral plane!? But that, that must be very difficult to pull off right and extremely dangerous!"

"Znam, ama pomisli kakvi vuzmojnosti otvarya tova! Moga da otida navsyakude iz Kosmosa! Moga dori da otkriya Moreto na zvezdite i posle da te zaveda tam."

"Yes, that sounds awesome," I agreed weakly. So my brother was going to be able to travel across the Cosmos itself via magic, and to other planes of reality, and perhaps even discover the Sea of Stars and then take me there. I tried to hide my sinking feelings: yet again my younger brother was getting ahead of me.

"Ti vse oshte iskash da se vurnesh tam, nali?" Alex asked.

"Yes, I still want to return there," I said, barely above a whisper.

"Chuk! Shte ti se obadya vednaga, ako go namerya."

We spoke a little more, and then we said our goodbyes. Alex, as usual, had a snappy farewell.

"I pomni," he said, "Kogato zufnat temenugite, i rabotite trugnat zle, ebi im maikata na drugite, i gledai ti da si dobre."

(The rough translation:

When the violets bloom,

and everything turns to gloom,

tell all others to go fuck themselves,

and then look out after yourself.)

***

I hung up the phone and slowly walked outside. I went and stood over the old man's grave, at the edge of the forest. The moon had risen and cast everything in silvery radiance, the night air crisp and crystal clear. It was beautiful.

"You don't have to face life's challenges alone anymore, Drago," Miko said behind me.

I turned, and found her sitting on the ground, her lurid amber eyes replete with kindness and compassion. I stepped and leaned into her embrace, tears blurring my vision.

"Yes, you are right, Miko" I whispered.

She said nothing, and held me tenderly while I quietly wept. After some time, I unburdened myself enough to regain some composure.

"Miko... can you teach me how to travel astrally?" I asked, my voice still wavering a little. "I mean, really travel, out there, across the cosmic void and the ethereal realms?"

Miko lifted her gaze skyward. "Not yet, Drago," she said enigmatically.

"Why not?" I said, bewildered, with an edge of despair.

"Some things are still uncertain," Miko replied, low. "I have, after all, existed for barely a year. Many concepts are still unknown to me. And the vast knowledge inside me – it's all still in disarray; like a great library scattered without order and without an index to guide me. In the end, I am as much a mentor to myself as I am to you, Drago."

"Who are you then, really?" I asked suddenly.

"I am your dream wife," Miko said simply. "Your life companion. Your soulmate." Her gaze again went somewhere faraway. "Yet who am I beyond this, that I have to discover for myself."

The willow tree sighed, a gentle breeze stirring the forest.

"I love you, Miko," I said. "Please, do not ever leave me."

"I love you too, Drago," she said. "And I will always be with you."

We held each other, entwined and silent, the night dancing around: moonbeams glinting in the leaves, the trees singing, the cold wind howling softly.

At last, I exhaled and resolved myself to speak.

"That whore Tanaka ambushed me today," I said.

"What??" Miko growled with surprise, her eyes narrowing to slits.

I told my wife about the troublesome encounter I had with Commander Tanaka in the morning. Miko listened, her expression steadily becoming darker, until she looked like a real monster.

I was afraid she'd react violently when I finished, but she only said, in a very determined tone, "Perhaps I ought to start accompanying you on your visits to the district, my noble lizzy."

"Oh, no, no, no," I said hurriedly. "That's absolutely out of the question. People have barely gotten used to me. They will positively panic if you were to roam the streets, my love." Miko was unconcerned, so I added: "And anyway, how would you avoid the destruction of property? You weigh many, many tons and will ruin any sidewalk you walk on – assuming one sufficiently large to fit you exists in the first place." Even I, weighing close to twelve hundred pounds, cracked the pavement sometimes, if I moved too vigorously.

"I'm perfectly able to walk gracefully without so much as disturbing a leaf," Miko sniffed, dignified.

"Be that as it may," I replied diffidently, unwilling to argue. "What about the street sizes? You cannot enter the market street without knocking down buildings."

Miko had no answer for that. "Then you are to run straight to me the next time Tanaka tries to bother you," she told me after we had wrestled the issue back and forth some more. "I will protect you, Drago," she declared.

"Heh, so what, I'm going to play the damsel in distress in this story, and you the knight in shining armor?" I replied with wry amusement.

"Change the second part to 'dinosaur with monstrous mammaries' and you'd be right," Miko remarked casually.

At that point, our children appeared in a jumble of shouts and excitement, wanting to cuddle with us. Me and Miko shifted to welcome them in our embrace, and all of us formed a giant cuddle pile with limbs and tails and smiling snouts poking everywhere.

It was impossible for me to remain somber in such circumstances, so I let the feeling of closeness to my loved ones wash over me like a soothing, all-encompassing wave and make my spirit soar free. Miko cast a couple of spells to make us warm and comfortable, and we all slept happily under the stars.