Once upon a time, in a far away land, lies a tall tower hidden from sight, surrounded by the forest's trees.

One day a prince was wondering, lost, for he have strayed far from his hunting companions.

Lets call this idiot bob… yeah… Bob!

Bob was a growing youth, still in his mid teens, no wait this story would have adult content so lets go with 18… yeah 18, he fantasize about meeting a damsel in distress and to one day sweep her up her feet.

He continues to daydream as he wonders about the forest.

“You take yours eyes away from them for one second and they get lost.” Bob said, having the audacity to blame others.

“Well I shouldn’t stay in the same spot or it will be harder to find them.”

As Bob continue to get further and further in the forest he got distracted by a butterfly. He followed said butterfly until he finally caught the bug.

“This would make a great addition to my collection!” Bob has a hobby of catching and preserving animals and bugs a like. He is not that good at the preservation part and his collection room smells of rot.

He found himself in a small clearing where a tall tower was standing.

“Rapunzel, Rapunzel let down your hair.” An old hag said standing at the base of the tower.

Bob hid instinctively, peeking from behind the tree.

From the tower's window a golden rope did fell. Long enough to reach the ground.

The hag tug the rope for good measure before beginning to climb up.

Bob was filled with curiosity at the sight, he had to know what secrets this tower holds.

He waited until the hag left but that took her the whole night and bob feel asleep from the wait.

Worry not, for when morning comes the golden rope was draped no longer. Bob took this as a sign of the hag leaving.

Rushing to the base he yelled out the words he remembered the hag said.

“Rapunzel, Rapunzel let down your hair!” he said with gusto.

And like yesterday, a golden rope did fell. He gave it a good pull to make sure it was safe before climbing up.

As he reach the window, a sight to behold appears, for the hair is connected to the most beautiful maiden he has ever laid eyes upon.

He traced the rope he was holding finally realizing it was hair, and said hair was connected in between the maidens spread out legs.

Bob had a grin on his face. Wink wink.

“Who are you?!” the maiden asked in surprise, for it was not her mother that have climbed up her pubic hair.

“Your future husband.” Bob replied.

Well you can imagine what happens next.

•°•°•°•

In another far away land. In a special room in the castle holds a mirror, and standing in front of the mirror was the new queen of the kingdom.

This book was originally published on Royal Road. Check it out there for the real experience.

“Mirror, mirror who is the fairest of them all?” she asked.

The image in the mirror slowly distorts to show a man’s face.

“For the umpteenth time, you attention seeking whore. It is not you. Stop wasting my time with your self centered questions. Why don’t you go hang out with your friends.” The face in the mirror yelled.

The queen was taken a back, she tried to hold down her tears as she responds.

“Sniff*… It’s not my fault… *sniff… hick… I was married to the king not too long ago but… but he rarely even notices me anymore after our marriage. Hick… he told me he only wanted my innocence… he took me away from my family and have no one to call friend in the castle… I only talk to you cause you actually respond to me… *sniff… I… I'm shu shuweee weeehh.” The queen replies, slurring at the end as she breaks down crying.

The mirror feeling guilty for being an ass came up with an idea.

“Hey, hey. Don't cry now. I’m sorry, I didn’t know your circumstance you know.”

“Ughh… wahh.”

“Please stop crying, I know! Hey I just came up with an idea to help you out.”

“huh?” the queen stopped bawling for a sec as she wipes the snot from her nose.

“Yeah, yeah. How about we kill the king, and after that we can kill his daughter too in the future.”

“Ehhh?!” the innocent queen let out a sound of shock at the proposal.

“Of course we won’t use any slow acting poison. You can lure her here and I will 'accidentally' fall down crushing her to mush. You don’t have to worry about me breaking either, I am a magic mirror after all.” The mirror laid out his plan.

“Yeah this would work. No! I will make it work! And I can be your friend!”

“Friend?” the queen tilted her head.

“Yes!”

The queen gave her most alluring smile yet, after a few months living in her hellish day to day life so far after being queen she finally found a friend.

And the queen and mirror lived happily ever after, in the near future that is.

The kingdom flourished as well. For the queen had wisdom and foresight to lead her people, unbeknownst to them that she had help.

•°•°•°•

In another far away land, a noble house was in mourning, for the wife of their young lord has passed away.

Left with a young daughter, the lord married another noble woman with two daughters of her own. Thinking she needs a maternal figure for her young age.

His daughter… Ashtray… yeah lets call her that, I mean CINDER-ella isn’t that of a kind name either.

But not long after, the young noble man died, being stabbed in a dark alley after watching the theater, a show about bats.

Ashtray was distraught after hearing the news.

The fresh widow was in mourning too, they may only have been married for 2 years, but she have loved him all the same along with his daughter.

Ashtray started to clean around the house, no matter how her step mom tries to stop her.

Many have speculated that Ashtray may have lost it. For instances of her talking to rats, birds and even her step mom's cat Yahweh was reported to her step mom.

Concerned for her deteriorating mental health, Ashtray's step mom decided to get her to a mental facility. Presenting the doctor as a prince to take Ashtray away, she complied immediately.

The step mom worked tirelessly to support her daughters and finance Ashtray's treatment.

Taking up her husbands trade in weapons company.

•°•°•°•

In a land, yeah you get the point.

A baby princess was cursed for eternal sleep aka death after pricking herself at a spindle before her 16th birthday.

The king has ordered all the spindle to be disposed of, which was a bad move for they went in the red as their primary export has nearly been halted.

Seeing this the king decided to leave her daughter to the fairies to be raised far away from the kingdom.

And of course spindles came back.

After 16 years and a few months for good measure the princess have returned to the castle.

She was welcomed with a grand feast, but for some reason the king have brought a spindle.

“Today, we celebrate my daughter's safe return and the clearing of the curse placed upon her! I have this spindle as proof and symbol of her victory! She will now prick herself upon it to show her glory!”

The princess' finger got pricked but nothing bad has happened, causing everyone to cheer.

The festivities lasted for three days, upon the third day the princess was found dead contorted in a horrendous form.

The princess may not have died due to the curse but she did due to tetanus, which no one knew at the time.

•°•°•°•

Under the sea, a little mermaid was curious about the life on land.

She would disobey her father and stay near the human settlements to observe them.

One night when the little mermaid was observing a huge ship making merriment above, a huge storm suddenly swept in, causing the ship to sink.

She was able to find a boy around her age sinking. She took him and checked him out.

The little mermaid does not know the difference in anatomy of humans and mermaids so she mistook the boys unconsciousness as him just sleeping.

She carried him back to her home but she was sure that she would be scolded if her father finds out about him. So she hid him in her closet.

“Your so lazy!” she once yelled at the boy.

“All you do is sleep around all day. You don’t even eat the food I brought for you.”

This continued on until the day when she opened her closet to find her crab butler eating away at the boy.

THE END.