“Why did I have to have you?! HUH!” My mom said as she's hitting me with a bat not caring if I bleed out or cry out in pain.
“M-mom i-it hurts!” I cried out in pain wanting her to stop but that only made things worse. Of course, if I cry, beg, or let out a scream loud enough for people outside to hear she will beat me to the point I can't get up and lock me up in the basement when you can't see anything.
“SHUT UP YOU F*CKING DISGRACE! I HOPE YOU DISAPPEAR!” With each swing I can feel her hatred for me as she keeps hitting me with full force, never stopping. Each hit left a sting on my body leaving a dark,
ugly, bruising mark on me. At the rate she was hitting my limp body you would think she was trying to kill me.
“AHH! I’M SORRY!” I woke up in a cold sweat. Sweat dripped down my face, shaking like someone is trying to wake me up from my sleep paralysis. I sit up to look around my surroundings.
‘Where- oh I'm at my aunt's house.’ I get up from my bed and waddle into my bathroom to splash some cold water on my face, hoping it would wake me up.
“ I have school tomorrow….I guess I should go back to bed.” I looked up from the sink and flinched at the sight I saw, “C-Calm down it...it's just in my head. They're not real” I drag my feet back to my bed, not happy that I have to go to school the next day. I lay in my bed slowly drifting back to sleep, not mentally preparing for what's going to happen tomorrow.
BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEEEP.
“God shut up!” I said as a hand peeks out from the covers to toss the alarm clock to the other side of the room.
“Hey Alex, it's time to get up sweetie.” My auntie says when she gently knocks on the door waiting for my answer. I groaned as an answer and when she heard that, she went downstairs to fix breakfast. You can hear her footsteps slowly fading away, hearing the creaks of the stairs as she gets farther and farther from my room.
‘Time to get ready.’ I said to myself, as I force myself to get up and take a hot shower, that to a normal person it would feel as if their skin was being burned, when they take a hot shower it makes their skin red, like if they had stayed out in the sun too long. Then I put on what you would call “emo” clothes, grabbed a pair of black jeans with a black leather belt with it, a white long sleeve collared shirt covered by a short black sleeve shirt and some black converse shoes. To finish it off I grabbed some chains and hooked them onto my belt loop and my pants pocket and did some light make up. Then I brushed my teeth like my life depended on it.
“I dOn’T uNdErStAnD wHy YoU bRuSh YoUr TeEtH ThAt HaRd” I said, mocking what Mark said yesterday when I told them what I did this morning.
‘Idiots’ I sat on the rails that are connected to the wall that people use to walk down the stairs and slide my way down and hop off the rails.
I’m not a fan of talking to family members, so when I come down stairs I grab a piece of toast and head out the door.
“I’m heading out.” I told my aunt without making eye contact, but knowing her she’ll probably try to convince me to eat breakfast.
“But Alex I made break-” I cut her off because 1, I don't want to be late to go to our spot, and 2, I DON'T want to do this now. My parents kinda ruined eating for me, always saying ‘You should stop eating you’re going to get fat.’ ‘your such a fata**’
“Look Auntie, thanks for making breakfast but I don't want any.” And with that I headed out the door, grabbing my stuff for school and sprinted out the door to our meet up spot.
Mark turned around when he heard a pair of feet sprinting toward them “Wow look who decided to show up.”
“S..shut up mark i ran down here.” I breathlessly said as I bent over my knees trying to regain my breath once again.
“Hey bae” Marco said as he got up from sitting underneath a tree then proceeded to make his way toward me and gave me a kiss.
“Hey love. Is everyone here?” I said, not really ready to go to class, but then again i don't really have a choice. When everyone nodded in agreement we made our way inside the school and sat in the cafeteria until the bell rang, signaling us to our different classes.
When me and my friends split up going to our different classes I went by Mr. Nick's Office and knocked on his door.
“Um- Mr. Nick, are you here?” I ask nervously, still not used to talking to an adult, let alone an adult who is paid to help or ‘pretend to help or care’.
“Yes im here you can come in.”
When I heard that I opened the door and closed it behind me, I walked up to a bean bag chair and sat down.
“Now what can I do for you Alex?” He said, as he finished typing up what he was doing and faced me. You would think that a therapist's room smelled like old people or had an old vintage smell, but no, his room smelled like coffee with a hint of Cinnamon. Hey, I'm not complaining.
“Hey Mr. Nick.” I said sighing because I REALLY didn't want to be here, but I didn’t have a choice did I? I don’t know why, but he’s the only ADULT that I feel comfortable with and feel like he actually cares about me. Well, besides my friends and boyfriend of course, but my parents made it hard for me to trust anyone let alone an adult.
“What’s wrong Alex? Is it that nightmare again?..” He asked, not looking up as he got a bowl of candy and stuffed animals from his drawer.
I nodded as I went to grab a handful of candy in one hand and grabbed the stuffed Bear in the other. The reason why I have stuffed animals is because I start shaking and fidgeting when I'm venting and eating sweets help calm me down. I guessed he noticed because the next day I came by he had two stuffed animals on his desk and a bowl of my favorite candies. He did say I can't have a lot of candy, so I just take a handful and the bear plushie.
“Was it the same one or a different one?” He asked, writing notes in his notebook. He sometimes lets me write or draw in the back of his notebook if I am in the mood. He’s like a father figure to me, better than my actual “father”, If you can call him a father…..
“No...It was the time I accidentally broke the vase and mom got mad. You can feel her rage throughout the house. She usually uses a belt, a stick, or something that with enough force can leave a mark...Instead, this time she uses a bat. Not just a regular baseball bat, but a metal bat and the way she was hitting me, anyone could feel how she wanted to slaughter me right there on the spot and in this situation, she did. ” I said, gripping the stuffed bear like my life as of right now was in danger. And Mr. Nick just stayed silent. Not breathing, nor saying a single word, the whole room just filled with my voice bouncing off the walls repeatedly.
“ ...she kept hitting over and over and over and over until she could see I wasn't moving. I wasn't dead though I was close to dying, and just as she was about to land the final blow, I woke up…. Only to find out it was all in my head.” I didn’t have to look up to feel the worry from him.
Since I was supposed to be in the first period we talked for an hour until it was time for me to go to my second block. Math.
I get up from the bean bag, say bye to Mr. Nick, and leave his office. I walked into the classroom and sat down in my seat, playing my music until the teacher came in and started teaching.
It's only been 10 minutes and here I am, already bored out of my mind.
‘Of course I would be bored in math. Math is like the most boringest class ever’ I thought to myself for saying something stupid. I mean at least I got a good grade in this class, even though I rarely pay attention in it.
We’re in class for 90 minutes, so as of right now we have the rest of the class to do whatever as long as we’re quiet. Of course, I decided to go to sleep til the third period and that's how my day went. Went to class. Did work or assignments. Get done early. Get bored. Sleep until it's time to go home.
“Yes! We can finally leave this god forsaken place of learning!” Noah excitedly said, basically jumping up and down and acting like he had a a** load of candy to the point that people were looking and whispering at us.
I laugh seeing how excited Noah was to not be in school anymore. To be honest anyone would be excited to not be in school anymore. “Yeah, well you’re not the only one. By the way, where were you? We didn’t see you this morning.” I said, glancing at my phone and noticing a text from my auntie saying she has a surprise for me.
Of course, Noah always has this guilty look on his face when he knows he did something wrong.
“Well you see, I kinda overslept today and just decided to skip 1st and 2nd block.” He said, rubbing the back of his neck as he nervously laughed.
“Of course you did.” I said, rolling my eyes at him jokingly. “Sorry guys, I have to go. My auntie says she has a surprise for me at home, so I should go.”
“Ok that's fine Alex.” My boyfriend came up behind me and pecked my lips.
“I’ll be sure to text you when I get home ok?” I told the rest of them as I kissed my boyfriend goodbye and hugged my friends.
Stolen content warning: this tale belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences elsewhere.
“Ok byee.” My friends and boyfriend said as I walked out of the school and started walking to my aunt’s house. My aunt’s house isn’t that far from the school but it isn’t close to it. I don’t know or understand why but I enjoy walking to my aunt’s house from school because it's quiet and the breeze feels good. The calm and positive energy would help calm me down if I had a bad day at school but today was different. The air was stiff, suffocating almost. The sun did not shine as brightly as it would nor did it feel like it was waving at me, instead it felt like it was piercing into my soul like it was trying to warn me. Shouting, ‘Don’t go home. Don’t believe their lies, they are not what they say they are. They're lying to you Alex. All hell will break loose if you trust them...Don't trust them.’
I ignored the warnings the sun was trying to tell me and headed inside. As I did , I could hear my auntie talking to someone- or talking to people. I went upstairs to take my shoes off and set my bookbag down on my bed when I heard my aunt yelling my name downstairs.
“Alex! Come downstairs I have a surprise for you that I'm sure you will love!” My aunty said with such enthusiasm. Yeah right. So I headed down the stairs and went into the living room where I saw something or Some people I never wanted to see again.
“I thought you guys should try to reconnect and get along again.” She said as she took a look at my reaction then she frowned. She knows she shouldn’t have done this, but she wants her daughter and grandson to get along again and make things go back to normal. But it can’t go back to normal. If it was ever “normal” in the first place. What is normal? I used to think normal is where kids would go and have fun and get in trouble every once in a while, but now I don't know what normal is anymore. They made me think that being called useless, stupid, piece of sh*t, waste of space, disgrace, pig, fata** anything you can think of. Or they will say “I wish I didn't have you.” “I never wanted you in the first place.” “if you died somewhere don’t expect us to care” “son of a b*tch can’t you do anything right?!” “WHY CAN’T YOU JUST DIE ALREADY?!”
You know...The normal stuff.
“Hey Alex how have you been?” My “mom” said to me putting on a motherly smile. Don't pretend like you didn’t f*)king abuse me and treated me like sh*t. When she tried to give me a hug I quickly backed away.
“D...Don’t….Don’t touch me!” I yelled at her, Pushing her hand away from me. The hand she used to beat me with, the hand she tried to hug me with. Why are they here? Why? Why? Why why WHY WHY?! I WAS DOING SO GOOD WITHOUT THEM HERE SO WHY?! WHY NOW??!!
“Hey don’t push-”He said, I interrupted him.
“Shut. up.”
“Excuse me?” he said in a tone he always used when he’s pissed or about to hit me. “What did you say?”
I stood there silently, the room around me was spinning in a circle like when your ‘Ring around the rosie’ so much and you get dizzy. It was getting harder to breathe. It felt like someone was choking me, their hand slithering around my neck tightening every time it wrapped around my tender neck ready to make their final attack. When I didn't say anything, they took this as an opportunity to make sure my auntie wasn’t near hearing range. And after that They degraded me.
“You’re not good enough.” She said as she was getting up from the couch.
“I wish i never had you in the first place” She said in a tone that was meant to hurt me.
“Do you really think that your auntie cares about you?” he said with a sinister smirk.
“Nobody cares about you. Nobody likes you, EVERYONE hates you. And it's. All. your. FAULT.” He was inching closer as he said that.
No. Stop it.
“Why do you have to be such a disgrace?!” of course she would say tha
Stop it.
“I should have aborted you when I had the chance.”
STOP IT! PLEASE! The last thing i heard was what my mother said when she got done beating me-
“I wish you were never born. I should have k*lled you when i had the chance.”
I woke up in my room on my bed. What happened? Then I realized what happened. I had a panic attack. I haven't had one of those since I first came here and yet they weren’t this bad. Why are they here? I thought that had left me alone. They left me. They abandon ME. They ABUSED me. They caused me so much f*cking PAIN and SUFFERING. So why the hell are they here?! I don't...I don’t want to remember those memories after I tried to lock them away in the back of my mind for so long.
As I was in my thoughts I could hear a stern yet gentle tap that was loud enough on my door, I dragged my feet off my bed and slugged my way to my door and opened it. I saw my auntie in my doorway, she had on the same clothes she had when all that happened. There was something off about her, not only was her smile extremely forced, but if you stood in front of her face- to- face you can see the sadness in her eyes with a hint of...emotionless.
“Are you ok?” She asked.
“What?” I said. Am I ok? Do I LOOK ok to you?
“Yeah...Yeah no I'm ok.” I said forcing my ‘im ok’ smile on my face. No, I'm not ok. I never have been and THEM being here made it worse.
“sweetie...I know you’re not ok..Please ta-”
“I’m fine.” I said, getting slightly annoyed.
“But-”
“I SAID I’M FINE!” I said, clearly annoyed by the fact she keeps asking me. I closed the door in her face without giving her a chance to keep peering into my soul. To be honest, you could hear the anger and frustration in my voice when I said that. With the recent nightmares, my aunt trying so desperately to help me & my parents, and my not too long ago panic attack hasn’t made my day better. Not only that but with Them here made things so much worse.
As if they heard me closing my door, someone else decided to knock on it. The voice I heard on the other side made me paralyzed me to my soul. Making me feel like I'm 8 years old again barricading my door since it was my only protection against them. But even then they found a way to snatch it away. Of course it would be Him. even after all these years you still have control over me.
“Alex. Open the door Now.” He said.
Without any hesitation I opened the door slowly.
“Y-yes sir?” I said, stuttering like a 8 year old who got caught doing something he wasn’t supposed to be doing. Except with him, whether you did something or not, good or bad he will find a way to give him an excuse to beat you.
I don’t know if he could sense the fear off of me because he gave me one of his fake ‘fatherly smiles’ that would be able to fool anyone, anyone who wasn’t me.
He walked into my room like he used to do, pushing me aside before telling me to close the door.
“Is your room soundproof?” He asked. Looking around the room.
“Yes.” I said, hesitantly. Getting uncomfortable from him wandering all over my room like he's trying to see if I will have something to defend myself.
“W..why do you ask?” I said, pretending to not know what he’s in here for. Of course I knew.
He wants to beat me.
He walks out into the hallway and brings back a big black duffle bag and sets it on my bed while he goes back to close and lock the door.
“Take your clothes off but your boxers.” He demanded from me.
I obeyed his command like a loyal dog listening to his master not wanting to piss him off. He pushed everything out of the way so he had enough room to beat me in, then he took out a whip, a metal pole, a metal bat, a cloth to put in my mouth to muffle out my screams, and other things to use to beat me.
He then grabbed the metal bat and hit my legs making me fall to the ground. He continued to hit me with the bat for a couple of minutes only to take a break by grabbing something else then go back to beating me. All you could hear in my room was my screams filled with pain and agony, the metal bat hitting my limped body. The bat hitting my body sounds like someone hitting rotten fruit or vegetables, making my conscience go in and out, feeling my leg throbbing so much. Smash. Smash. Smash. He grabbed my hair and smashed my head against the wall repeatedly. At this point it didn’t feel like abuse or a normal beating. No. He was pissed and I was the one who made him pissed.
After what felt like eternity of just plain abuse, he kicked me in the stomach a few times before leaving me. At this point I was already knocked out.
This is fine. He didn’t beat me as hard as he did before. But now I can't get up. Not a surprise to be honest, I usually can’t get up when I get beaten like this. I wonder if she knew- what am I kidding of course she did. She always knew but never did anything.
I stayed on the floor for 3 minutes before mustering up the strength to drag myself to my bed. I'm not even gonna bother fixing myself up right now. Everything is spinning around me right now, everything is….deformed. Like when an alcoholic drinks 7 bottles of alcohol and passes out on the bed watching the world spinning around him. Not able to feel anything in his limbs, completely losing feeling with the world, Or a drug addict that finally took some drugs he wasn’t supposed to take.
I looked up at the ceiling, my vision becoming fuzzy. I thought about what I was going to do tomorrow since it was a school day. I think I still have some counselors left. I can go see tomorrow considering I don't have any energy left to drag myself to the bathroom and drag myself back, especially if i can’t even feel my limb at the moment. I didn’t realize at the time that but when my dad banged my head against the wall repeatedly and beat me with a metal bat & a metal pole it caused some internal bleeding that if not treated immediately could lead to a coma or even death. I was feeling sleepy all of a sudden so I decided to take a little nap. Not knowing that I would end up in the hospital.
I woke up in a white space, my first thought was to check my surroundings. So I stood up and started to look at my surroundings, as I was doing so a human-ish figure appeared in front of me.
The figure looked around until they noticed me. “Hello! Welcome to the white space!”
“Huh? What do you mean ‘white space’?” I said since I was confused as to what they were saying.
“Well to put it lightly...you're in a coma~” they said in a friendly yet terrifying tone.
I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. Me? In a coma? That’s impossible! But...No no! That’s not true. It can’t be..
“But it is true. You’re in a coma because your pathetic excuse of a dad beat you to the brink of death. What you nor him didn’t notice was that when he was beating your head in with a metal bat & pole while also banging your head repeatedly against the wall and your desk, he caused some serious Internal bleeding leading you into this coma.” He said as if he could read my mind.
As if the figure could hear my thoughts, what he said made me a little bit curious, “Do you want me to show you your body on the hospital bed? As proof that you’re in a coma.” he held his hand out waiting for my answer.
I mean I don't want to believe that I'm in a coma so, I took his hand. As soon as I did we appeared in the hospital but were invisible to others. They were right. I can see my body laying on the hospital bed hooked up to life supports and IV bags. D*mn, i look like shit. I took a good look at my body and saw all the scars from years of beating. I took a look around to see if anyone had come to visit me and I saw Marco, Mark, and Noah all surrounding me around my bed. Mark and Noah Comforting Marco, Marco on his knees holding my hand letting out a painful shriek that could be heard throughout the hospital halls, Noah acting like a mortal support for the other two but I can see he wants to cry. Of course my parents weren't there, my auntie was but they weren't.
Why would they care that I'm in a hospital? They never cared about me in the first place. I was just there for their entertainment, for them to just hit me over and over and over. I was a meat bag for them to take their anger out on.
It doesn't matter...after all they will just bring me back to that cage i could never escape from.