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My System Hates Me
System has mental breakdown

System has mental breakdown

The thief gulped. He released his hand and quickly made for the door. That would never have worked in real life. The points he put into charisma sure did do their job.

The thief gulped; he believed Jack. He slowly raised his hands and pulled away his sword, sheathing it. He slowly walked backwards and turned around. He rushed to his friends. Jack didn’t blame him for that reaction, he’d probably do the same.

Jack’s charisma showed its usefulness, that would never have worked without it. He wondered how persuasive he could get if he continued spamming his points into charisma was a good idea.

“Mr: Ball crusher. Might I ask what you have for business here.”

“Is this the adventure guild?”

“Nice insult! Here you have the rogue guild.”

“Huh? What’s the difference between the rogue guild and the adventure guild?”

“They’re pussies, we’re not. We might also be a bit more legally neutral. Might. “

“I see.” Jack said and put on his clothes.

“And if I join. What will that entail?”

“You have to pay a gold coin up front. You’re stuck with us forever. And you have to abide by our rules. And you have to heed certain commands at certain times.”

“Sounds like a bunch of drawbacks, are there any benefits?” Jack asked

“You’ll be accepted into the underworld.” The clerk said.

“Hahahahaha.” Jack couldn’t stop laughing.

The underworld came to him, not the other way around. He proudly marched out of the guild. He vowed that his shoes would never take another step in the rogue guild. But, he needed to be in a guild for his plan to work.

“Can I create my own guild?” Jack asked.

“Yes. However I would strongly advise against it. It’s a bad…”

“Okay. Then I’d like to do that.”

“Wh…”

“Can I create quests?”

“You need to create a quest board.”

“Okay, how would I create one?”

“You need an empty wall.”

“So.. can I create my own guild?”

“The system gracefully urges you to reconsider.”

“And I gracefully want to continue.” Jack said.

“Okay… I’ll start the process.” The system depressed.

“Please name your guild”

“Exploiters.” Jack said

“Please design a tattoo.”

A holographic blue board appeared in front of him, and he could draw on it. He couldn’t resist himself and drew a pair of rotting bull balls, he made sure to make them look old and withered. It had been his profile, a true classic!

“Guild created!” A burning sensation spread itself below his palms. The tattoo he drew appeared there.

“To invite others to your guild. Draw the same tattoo on them.”

“I’d recommend hiding it. The guilds are technically pitted against each other. The system said.

Unauthorized duplication: this narrative has been taken without consent. Report sightings.

“Ahh, don’t worry I've got a plan.”

“What is the plan?” The system asked.

“I’ll hide it” Jack answered.

“There’s other ways to reveal what guild you belong too then seeing your palms.” The system stated.

“Like?” Jack asked.

“You can’t enter a guild space that isn’t your own. And, you cannot go into a party with people who are not of the same guild. However since that is a system specific command that won’t reveal you to anyone else.”

“Good to know.” Jack said.

He walked away from the rogue guild, trying to find a secluded area. He turned the corner and spotted two tall hooded figures, they walked on the side avoiding the large pools of water. Jack walked away from them, travelling until nobody was within sight. He heard a lot of commotion above him, but he was finally alone.

He’d begin his second exploit.

“I’d like to make this my quest board.”

“The wall is officially your quest board.”

Another holographic window opened up in front of him. There was a “+” sign which he clicked on. Another window appeared and he created his quest. He had to give up an award and a fee of one copper.”

“Quest created!” A new window said, and a paper appeared on the wall detailing the quest.

The paper read. “Jump ~ you need to jump once. Reward 99 copper.”

“I want to accept this quest.” Jack said.

“You want to accept your own quest? Why’d you do that?”

“You’ll see.”

“Fine.” The system said.

The paper disappeared from the wall. He jumped once.

“Quest complete!” A small window said that he must have missed the last time he completed a quest. He opened up his quest tab and claimed the quest. He gained a pouch of 99 copper and furthermore another common loot box, just as he’d hoped.

“Wait, what!” The system exclaimed.

“Didn’t you remember? Alongside the quest reward, I gain and I quote “at minimum a common loot box.”

“Wait, but you can’t do this.”

“I can and I will.”

Before the system complained anymore, Jack clicked the button on top of the box. It morphed into another grey potion. It was the same as before. He put it into his inventory. And redid what he’d done from the start.

After two hours. He had 99 common loot boxes. He was completely broke, but that didn’t matter since he gained what he’d hoped for. He took them out and started opening them.

He received almost only proficiency gain potions, just as he’d hoped. However, he gained three items he wasn’t expecting. The first one was a cloak. It was very simple and it gave him +1 intelligence. He put it on.

The second thing he’d gotten was a simple healing potion. He stuffed it into his inventory. And the third thing was a frozen human finger. He didn’t know what that was about. He put it into his inventory.

He commenced the third part of his plan. He drank every single potion. It took him a full hour to down every potion. But it was worth it. He now had a 9700% proficiency gain. He aura sliced the wall a single time and a load of messages popped up in his sight.

“Ding! +5 exp, +1 aura slice”

“Ding! +5 exp, +1 aura slice”

“Ding! +5 exp, +1 aura slice”

“Ding! +5 exp, +1 aura slice”

“Ding! +5 exp, +1 aura slice”

“Aura slice has reached 25, and does 25 % extra damage and has 25% reach.

“No no no, this is not how this is supposed to go at all. What the FUCK!” The system raised its voice and swore for the first time in its existence.

"Hahaha. This is only the beginning." Jack said and chuckled some more.