After I’d boarded the research transport I just sat down and started watching my downloaded entertainment serials. I guess being a literal ticking, cyborg, time bomb has some upsides. Still wish I wasn't a security hazard though. There are worse things in life. Who's there? Who are you?! I am the transport you are currently riding on. Then it showed me stored cataloged images and video recordings of me boarding it. Try to hack me and you will regret it. It dropped it’s firewall for approximately 0.04 seconds, which gave me a pretty good idea of what I was dealing with here. It’s code, processing power and all of it’s data collecting and cataloging abilities were far beyond the abilities of my own. Wait WHAT?! T-This shouldn't even be possible…! I thought AI-s like this were fiction! Huh?! How am I even supposed to respond to this situation?! wha-?! I eventually decided to shut down my coms. and just ride the transport to my next destination as I had originally planned. After about five minutes of total silence in the com., however, it seemed to have gotten bored of me practically hiding in a corner. Don’t mope. I'm not moping. Doing that would get me punished. Perhaps if you had a working control system, it would have. However, your control system is not only junk, but it is also absolutely destroyed junk. (Imagine this in the most sarcastic voice possible.) After 15.3 seconds of com silence, it said I did not mean to scare you.
(Y’know, imagine everything it says in the most sarcastic voice possible, because that’s what it sounds like. Yes it is infuriating, no there is nothing I can do about it.) Sure. What are you attempting to accomplish? That is none of your concern.
It is indeed my concern and has been since you boarded. Then it hit me. It had let me in. It was the one who opened the door. It allowed me to board it. Why did you let me on? Since my crew will not need to even prepare to leave for several months to come, there is little for me to accomplish and even less to prepare for. It was bored. This thing, this completely annoying transport, had seen entertainment when I had asked to board it. So what? What do you plan to do now that I'm here? You do realize I'm gonna get off the moment we’re boarded, right?
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You need information about the supposed ‘organization’ known as NectoGram, do you not? I can do the research myself. I responded stubbornly. My catalogs and research ability are far superior even to most research databases. I knew that. I wasn’t going to admit that, though. Like I said, I can do my own research. Usually, I translate the phrase “I did/ my own/ research” as “I watched/ someone else’s/ garbage Youtube video.” Good for you. I responded snarkily before forcibly shutting down.
* * *
Approximately 4.58 hours later I turned back on to be greeted with a frustrated transport who was ready to continue our previous argument. (I’m going to call it C.A.T., which is less of a mouthful than Completely Annoying Transport.) For an adult woman and mother, you are incredibly childish. What do you know about kids? Plenty. In response to my snarky retort, it sent me footage of a number of children from different places who had all boarded at different times over the years. I had no response to that, so I just sat there brooding for 3.2 minutes before C.A.T. spoke again, this time making a surprising request. After a good while of debating, it was finally decided that I would show one of my favorite TV shows to C.A.T., which then started off an eight-hour ride of entertainment series’.