"OH I'll pull her beard if you kiss her rear, and I'll see which one kisses better!"

"I'll kiss her muther and hope its not her brudder if she won't kiss me!"

"Well I'll kiss her pet and I know it gets wet when I dip it in the barrel!

"Oh we like the gurl, but she wont choose me, so off to the mines I be!"

Coming toward us was a group of drunk dwarves. They stood side by side and sang lines of some song I could not even begin to follow. It sounded like one of the songs we had heard in the outer city. Apparently, dwarves who worked in the mines did so because none of the female dwarves liked them…

As they rounded the road ahead, Turk motioned for us to come close.

"We cannot go back, and we have to pass them," Turk whispered as he gave us instructions. "Vreek and Dirk stay close to the buildings. Dad, you and I will stay on the edge closest to them. Keep the cloaks pulled down, and when I tell you to sing, sing! Mumble the lines you heard. I'll do the rest!"

We formed up, and I wondered if my short life in this world would end acting like a drunk dwarf quartet, singing songs about working in the mines. Never mind the fact I couldn't remember half of what I had heard!

As the group got closer and it was apparent they would see us in just a moment, Turk nodded, and we started to sway but kept our head down and covered.

"Oh she be so fine, like my pick axe thats mine, I'll strike gold for sure!" belted out Turk in a voice I guess was aimed at sounding drunk and dwarven.

The other dwarves approaching us cheered and picked up their pace as we did our best to step toward their sides.

"The mine be so great, its better den a date, with a gurl who won't be mine!" two of the dwarves belted out as they drew closer.

"I'll find me some gold, and I'll let her it hold, and then she will me mine!" replied Turk.

"Her mum likes it in the bum, but with luck will come, her birthing me a son!" the same two sang out again.

"AND when she gets mean, I'll take back me gold and be seen, heading back to da mine!" Turk and three of the other dwarves all sang together.

"Yer voice be to soft to work the mine, ya beardless goblin," one of the dwarves shouted as the moved past us.

I froze. Did they know?

"Yer sister looks like your muther, and its why ya can't hear ya horny toad!" Turk called back as he tugged me to keep moving.

Laughter came from the four who had just passed us.

"What was that," I asked after they had moved further down and apparently started another stanza of whatever song they were singing.

"Just something I picked up in the outer town," Turk replied. I could see the small smile under his hood.

"How much further?" Vreek interrupted.

"I think about another mile, but we should be good if we walk faster and stay like this. If I start singing again, just go with it."

If their mother could see us now ran through my mind. She would send me to the mine.

"There it is," Turk stated as he pointed towards the massive grey portal that had a stone fence built around it.

It was pulsing slightly and was a weird grey. Like not a dark or light grey but something I was confident I would see on the walls of most people's homes back where we used to live. That kind of grey. It was well over ten feet tall, and it radiated a little light. No noise was coming from it, that I could tell. It looked everything like a portal I had seen in so many anime and games. It made me wonder how many people from a world like this had really come to our world. They must have been blown away not having magic or other creatures to fight.

Two guards sat around a fire pit a little bit off from the entrance of the fence opening. Each of them appeared bored out of their mind. They were sitting on a stool, and neither one was talking. Both were just smoking a pipe and occasionally sending puffs of smoke out.

"Can we enter through the back?" Dirk asked.

Turk and I shrugged, and Vreek looked ready to moan.

"The fence isn't higher than three feet. I think it is just there to keep people from stumbling in."

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Turk was right. Getting into the portal from the other side would not be an issue. We could probably quickly jump the fence and even enter from the front. Neither guard was paying attention and both were a good ten feet or more in front of the portal.

"Sneak around and try that?" I asked.

Turk shook his head.

"Based on the streets we have been going, it would probably take us thirty minutes or an hour to cross all the streets to get there without being seen by them. The sun will be out soon enough, and we need to get in there soon. The city is going to wake up, and we are going to be in trouble then."

"Kill 'em?" Dirk asked.

Turk and I both shook our heads no. That would just cause a problem come morning.

"Faeries?" asked Vreek.

Turk chuckled and nodded.

"I was thinking a whole group of them."

We were all prepared for what we would need to do. There was a good fifty yards between us and the portal. Once Turk summoned the group of green fairies, we would dash to the portal and jump in.

We knew we all needed to enter right after each other within a certain amount of time, or we would not be given the same group gem. That was important more than anything else.

When Turk was ready, we watched and waited for the magic show.

Two green balls started moving around, not super bright but up in the air, and then began to descend toward the two guards.

"I"ll be a hairy goblin," the one on the right said. "Am I drunk or do you see those two lights."

The one on the left glanced up and saw both lights. He rubbed his eyes and looked again. "You know der be no hairy goblins. What kind of tobacco is this?"

"It aint the tobacco, that be fairies!"

"You and dem other fools who believe in fairies! There be no fairies! There have not been faries in hundreds of years! Why would faries come here? To light your ball sack on fire?"

The one on the right huffed and pointed his pipe at the other guard as he stood up.

"Watch this. I'll catch me a faerie and then make it give me gold!"

"Son of a goblin," the other muttered. "They don't give gold, you fool. Thats them non flying green ones in black clothes!'

The first guard ignored him and held out his hands.

"Come here beauties. I won't hurt you. Come to uncle Dorgrathon. I got some nice tobacco for you to try."

I heard Turk mutter something. Dirk and Vreek were both confused about what was going on as neither one of them had learned to speak the language yet. I was thankful for all those times Turk made me practice with him. This was better than any comedy show I had heard in ages.

Turk elbowed me and nodded as the balls of light got closer to the one.

Suddenly about twenty lights popped out there, and then ten each started swirling around the heads of the guards.

The moment that happened, we started running for the portal.

"My gold! They be trying to take my gold!" shouted the first one as he tried to swing at the lights.

Its boots! They take boots and socks!"

Both of them ran around, tripping over their stools and knocking over cups and more. They were making a decent size racket.

With about fifteen yards to the portal, we all jumped over the gate and continued running towards the portal.

"I hear boots! They got friends! They here to take my gold and boots!" shouted the first one again.

"Just boots and socks you fool! Just boots and socks!"

I chuckled as we all hit the portal at the same time.

The moment it touched my skin, I felt a shock to my system and a bright light. Almost like the time when I met Bob.

All four of us stumbled as our feet landed on the ground.

We found ourselves in what looked like a stone tunnel that reminded me of some Greek or Roman stone architecture from the old days. Tall stone pillars ran fifty feet or higher and connected to stone walls. An eerie light filled the space, and it ran a ways down.

"Look at this," Dirk said as he held out his hand.

There in his hand was a blue gem that reminded me of a sapphire. It pulsed with light and was the size of a walnut.

"Anyone else have one?" Dirk asked.

We all looked around and shook our heads.

"Ok, who wants to hold it?"

I looked at Turk, and he nodded.

"I will. I got a pouch I can put it in. Since I'm not a front-line guy, the odds of it getting smashed by something attacking me is probably lowest."

Vreek and I nodded, and Dirk went and carefully handed it to Turk.

"How fragile do you think it is?" Turk asked as he looked at it.

"Let's not drop it and find out," I stated. "I assume it won't break easily but we only get one shot at this."

Vreek tapped my shoulder and pointed down the tunnel.

"We need to go. Staying here is not good. Anyone could come in at any time."

"Agreed. We can run and talk. Turk put it away, and let's go. Dirk in back, Vreek behind me, Turk behind him."

Everyone moved into position, and we started running down the hallway.

I had no clue when we might run into something or someone. No monsters were here that I saw and it looked like this might be a staging level. I knew we were coming into this blind, but we could not turn back now. We could only press forward and deal with stuff as it came.

After about two hundred yards, we saw another portal up ahead. It was blue and only about ten feet tall now. Much shorter than the one outside.

I looked at the others as we got close.

"Last chance to back out."

Turk and Dirk laughed, and I saw their smile when they were ready to do something crazy.

Vreek moaned even though he had a smile on his face.

"If I'm going to die because of you three, then at least it will be something worthy of remembering me by."

Dirk slapped Vreek on the back and laughed.

"At least you aren't wearing a red shirt!'

"Redshirt? What does that mean?" Vreek asked with a puzzled and concerned look on his face.

The three of us laughed and dove into the portal.

Redshirt...