I got up and said that's it, i cant live here anymore

I took my cover, walked out of the room in my neighbors house

I entered my uncles house, there were a lot of people there chatting and stuff, i walked straight to my room

There were 2 women in my room, one was sitting another was sleeping on my bed

Both got up when i entered, i just went in, didn't speak a word, turned my back against them, opened my cupboard and started choosing clothes

I was looking for somewhat formal ones, that are suitable for doing a job

Then i remembered i needed a bag so i pulled out my collage bag which was at the top of the shelf

I picked 2 pants and 4 shirts, started shoving my clothes into my bag

Then i started taking out my bottle, charger, extension chord, headphones out of the cover and shoved it in my bag

It wasn't fitting easily so i needed to work a little

All while the one sitting on my bed left the room and the one sleeping layed back on the bed and started talking to her friend

After i zipped my bag, i took it and i left my room and when i was leaving the house i heard my mom's daughter shout "aunt aunt" indicating i was leaving the house with a bag

I didn't turn back and i just left the appartment

I wore my slippers and started walking down the stairs wondering how my life was gonna be from now on

I reached the ground, i know there are my relatives there so i didnt look their way,

I just looked down and walked towards the gate and then i wore my bag on my back and finally left my house

.....

I know its confusing, my story started out of nowhere for yall

To undestand whats going on we have to go back to my childhood

I was 3 to 5 years old when my moms husband left us leaving my mom and two kids, one older girl and a boy(me)

I dont wanna call him dad or father, its not hate but just not caring cause hes like a stranger to me at this point

And i dont even know when he left exactly(3 to 5years) that tells you how less i care about him and things related to him

My mom is a working women, she earned from 100$ to 500$ a month from when i was a kid to now as a accountant 

That must sound awfully low but i dont live in America, i am just giving you a reference point

With that job and other accounting freelancing she did, she gave us a lower middle class life here

That aside she gave me a prince's life, giving me the moon if i asked her

I was the only one without a dad in my class that i know of, but it never effected me in a 2 way 

But now that i look back, from when i was a kid i lacked confidence because i never succeeded in anything,

I dont have experience in trying different things or talking to people in general

Of course i cant blame my mom who was working 24×7, literally 

She used to get up, wash our clothes, clean the house, cook our breakfast and lunch for our lunch box, wake us up and get us ready, send us to school, gets ready herself and leaves for work, comes back starts cleaning utensils and cooks dinner and puts us to sleep all the while taking care of us, listening to our nonsense and making us do our homework and all

She literally spent 24×7 working for us so i cant blame her for anything so i can only blame myself

The moment i wanna blame her i remember the nike shoes she bought me not buying a single clothing for herself in the past 20 years 

Sounds exaggerated but its true, she used to walk and go for shops to save gas money and bargains with literally every vendor and spends it on branded clothes for her children, 

And now i became a shut in because i dont know how to deal with people and i am scared of everything

I now realised that even confidence is something you gain from experience and i have none

I completed my engineering in mechanical which i choose and lost interest in and went back to my house with no job, stayed there for 3 years, telling them im looking for a job that im intrested in but didn't find one yet and i needed more time

There was a lot of social pressure on me

Let me explain

Bragging to relatives when something good happens is something that we do here, so me not having a job is a dark spot for my family when all relatives kids are having good jobs and are getting married

So there is a lot of pressure that unknowingly my mom and my aunt put on me that led to me closing up even more

Well, i dont think it is that unknowingly, cause "u dont have a job" is always in the air when ever they look at me and no im not imagining it"

Oh god, im talking about my family but didn't explain whos in my family

My family and in my house there are my mom, her daughter my aunt(my moms younger sister) and uncle(my aunts husbang) and because they have no kids they treated me like their own son

And now about myself

The only close people to me in the world are my mom and aunt

And people i consider family are my mom, aunt, uncle and my other two uncles(moms 2 younger brothers)

In these three years of talking to myself and watching all podcasts in the world i became a person that doesnt care about anyone's opinion except my mom and my aunt

Nonono you dont undestand, i took it to the next level

Not caring about anyone's opinion means not caring about anyone's opinion

When i buy a shirt i look at the shirt and if i like it i wear it to see if it fits me and i go buy it

I dont do a important step that everyone does 

Looking into the mirror to see if it looks good on me 

Cause i dont care how i look

You look into the mirror to see what people are looking at when they look at you

And you know they judge what they are looking at

So to be judged well(you also call this good impression) you dress good

I have a massive ego so i thought why would i wanna spend even 1 second with someone who judges me based on how i look, what i wear etc

So from then on i stopped looking into the mirror for my outfits

I obviously look into the mirror to see if i look neat and clean

Cause i dont wanna hear "there's something on your face" again

So thats a little bit about myself

Back to my story

So because of all the pressure that my mom and aunt put on me i closed up even more and became a 5 star rated SHUT IN

If i earned even a bit so i could live on my own feet that would be great but no, i made 0$, nothing, i am 25 and earn 0, and live in my uncles house(we all live in my uncles(aunt's husband) house but my mom pays her share) with nothing but my massive ego

I did almost everything my uncle tells me to do in the house and outside the house(im still a shut in) 

Im not that close with my uncle to have fights and stuff, he tells, i listen, thats it

So with my massive ego if i have a fight with him that means i am going to leave the house

Everything started on my mom's daughter's wedding, yes i call her mom's daughter even though shes my biological sister, even though we grew up together because

I looked back and asked myself what is the ratio of happy moments to sad moments with this person and the answer was 20:80 then i stopped talking to her and cut her out of my life completely, maybe things will change in the future i dont know but for now things are still the same

So i told my mom and my aunt not to involve me in things related to her 

On her wedding all the relatives came to my house

So my uncle came and told me he asked for a room in my neighbors house so i can stay,

I took my phone, charger, extension chord and bottle in a cover and went to the room in my neibhours house

Within one hour two of my relatives comes into my new temporary room and asks me about my job and stuff

I told them im still searching for a job that i like (which is true), after pestering for a while they left,

After few hours my aunt came and bought me lunch, which is the wedding related food, so i told her i wont eat, she left with the food 

After a while my uncle came with the same food, told me to eat and left

I had two options

1) put my massive ego aside and eat their food

2) leave the house

I chose 2

I left my house and started walking towards the nearest ATM to withdraw 50$ i have in my bank and i had 20$ on hand, with all this maybe i could live for a month here(sharing room with 10 other people)

I walked without looking back and reached ATM, got in and tried to withdraw money, i forgot the pin so i tried to create a new pin right then i hear a voice

"Zero where are you going"

I turned back and i saw one of my relatives, lets call him A, he is a big dude

I said "im leaving house"(again my massive ego, i dont like to lie)

He asked "then where are you headed"

I said "i dont know"

He then tried to take my ATM card

I took it and kept it in my pocket

He caught my hand so i wouldn't run away

My uncle(aunts husband) then came in

The author's narrative has been misappropriated; report any instances of this story on Amazon.

They asked the same questions and i gave them same answers

I never knew ATM had sensors, it started shouting dont crowd in the ATM room

So we left the ATM and came outside

They kept asking the same questions again and i gave them the same answers

I told them to leave me so i could go and live my life on my own, then they started asking how am i gonna live my life without any money, i said i dont know how but i have only one option, that is to try

They still didnt let go of me 

I started using force to get away from A

I knew i cant get away because hes so big

I have to escape from his grip and run, but my ego didn't let me run away

We standing wrestled for 1 to 2 hrs on the street where everyone was watching the show

Where i try to get away from him and he try to hold onto me

A lot of my relatives came there, tried to talk to me but i just ignored them, didn't even look at their faces 

Cops came, they asked what happened, i told them i wanted to leave house and asked for their help, they refused and told my relatives to take me home

Which i expected would happen, cause here more than law they give importance to morals and ethics

In their minds my mom raised me till 25 and i am running away to live on the streets, thats not a moral thing to do, so they supported my parents

Then a trans women came and told that her parents didnt accept her so she left her house but im so lucky to have such loving parents and i should go home

Then my collage friend came, lets call him B

B said "lets go to my place"

I only said one word to him "leave"

Ok now a little bit about how i treat my friends, not just friends, any relationship in general is something that you cultivate using your time and energy, the less energy and time in a relationship the less i care about that person

So called best friends that you talk to once every 2 years is a joke, they are close to strangers than best friends to me, i try to treat them with as less importance as i can

Becasue of this extremely difficult friendship rule i have zero friends,

Coming back

He obviously didn't listen and kept repeating the same thing again and again

So now i cut him completly out of my life like i did with a lot of them

Then my another relative came, lets call him C

He tried talking to me but i just ignored him

After a while

A and C forcefully tried to put me in C's car, i resisted with everything i have, but they put me in and started driving

 I was just looking down not giving anyone any eye contact and didn't speak a word

Driver was driving the car

C was sitting in the front, A was sitting on my left and B on my right

I didn't know where they were taking me

I didn't wanna make a run from a running car which is dangerous to everyone inside and outside rhe car so i just stayed still

Things became funny after a while in the car

C started bragging about his connections

Like i know this important person blah blah blah

Dont know what his goal was

Trying to intimidate me

Whats the use of that

I dont know

Then A started bragging about his connections as well

I started smiling trying to control my laughter

Then they reached C's house 

They wanted me to stay in C's house and cool down i guess 

I started leaving once i got out of the car, they tried to stop me, we started wrestling again

They put me back in the car and took me back to my house

I became absolutely weak at this point

I didn't eat or drink anything from morning

They left the car, then i tried to leave again

The car made sounds so then came back and didn't let me get out of the car

Then my aunt came, sat in the front seat started crying and tried talking to me

I didn't reply but this is the first time i wanted to talk but didn't know what to do

Then A came and told my aunt that we had to leave i didn't know where we were going

We left our house in the same car

One and two started talking about politics

After a while they stopped for a soft drink break

After a while they stopped at a place

C got out, went in and started talking to some guys, after a while two bouncers came to the car pulled me out and started to walk me by holding my wrist and my palm together

It was painful 

I decided to cooperate with them cause those bouncers are strong as hell and any resistance is just hurting myself

And also i was weak as hell at this point so i had no strength to begin with

They took me to a room where there were nurses

They checked my blood pressure, pulse and other things

They gave me a injection 

They also took my blood to do a blood test

They tried talking to me but I still didn't talk and i was unresponsive, let them do what ever they wanted with my body

I thought nothing would change even if i talk and i was right

After a couple of tests they took my belongings and gave it to my family and took me to a room on a wheelchair where they put me on a bed

It is a big room with over 20 beds

It has a air conditioner so the room was super cold

They put me on the first bed at the entrance 

Right below the ac vent

After a while i got up and started looking for a restroom, as i was not able to go to one from the morning

I saw another door at the end of the room

I got up, wore my slippers, went there and opend the door

That is where i saw D

A handsome dude who was combing his hair with his hand, covered in his blanket, was standing there

Everything about him screamed different

Like if a bunch of people are playing basketball, he will be doing tricks with football and attract audience, that kinda difference

I turned right and there were basins and rest rooms there, i searched for a clean one and went in

After i came out i washed my hands and turned to go back and D was also planing to leave 

I opend the door and was holding it so D could also get in

He said "thanks bro", in a drowzy tone

I slowly walked to my bed, covered myself in a blanket and finally slept

That is how my first day ended

I woke up the next day

After getting up everything came back to me, making me realize that i was in a unknown place among unknown people,

I had guesses but didn't believe i would be in such places

I got up and looked around, some people were still sleeping, some were talking with each other some were sitting by themselves

I got up, wore my slippers and walked up to the door i came in and started knocking on it

"No one will open the door" a voice came from the side

A guy dressed in black is lying on the bed and looking right at me, he looked like a bouncer

"Why" i asked him

He just repeated what he said "no one will open"

I kept knocking for ten minutes then a guy wearing a white coat came in

He asked, "what happened"

I told him, "i have to leave"

He replied, "u can't leave"

I asked him, "why"

He replied you are admited here "untill someone comes to take you, you cant leave"

Then i started shouting

"How can you keep me here without my consent, i was addmited here without my consent, call the cops, i want to talk to the authority"

Im sure what they heard is blah blah blah

Cause no one even replied

I asked him "what is this place" i still didn't know where i was

He replied "hospital"

I asked "then im admitted for what"

"You can ask the doctor when he comes" he replied

I went back, sat on my bed and waited

I was observing the surroundings nothing felt off at first

Suddenly a goblin pounced on me 

Im kidding your still reading my memoir

I waited for a while and finally someone important came in and i got up went to him and asked "are your a doctor here"

He said "yes"

I then repeated the same thing

"I want to leave, you put me here without my consent"

He said "you can leave only if your doctor gives you permision"

I replied "i dont have a doctor here, i am put here without my consent and i want to speak to the police"

He just looked at me like i am mad and said, "you need doctors permision to make a call"

I felt like smacking him in the face

At this point i painfully undestood that i have no say here

I then asked him my major doubt "what is this place"

He didn't reply

Then i asked him directly "is this a mental hospital"

He replied "no, u cant call this a mental hospital" in a very non confident tone

I thought for a while and replied "is this a hospital for people with disorderly behavior"

He said "yaa you can call it that"

I had no change in expression on my face but inside i for real went mad

'A mental hospital, i am in a mental hospital, they put me in a mental hospital

I was in shock for i dont know how long

Suddenly a fairy came out of nowhere and said "do you wanna get out of this place"

I wish, i wish it happened that way

Then after a while i sat on my bed and started observing people around me again but now in detail

There were a few people sitting near the main door, they looked like bouncers and staff

...

Note:

First i didn't wanna write about these peoples mental health issues but then i thought talking about it will lower the mystery people have towards mentally ill people

I have to start by saying these people are mostly normal and not extreme on the spectrum

There are people on the extreme end and its better to leave them on their own or with experts

.....

Remaining people looked like patient's 

Some people were still sleeping 

Some people are talking with each other

But there are some people that are talking to themselves

We all talk to ourself but we try to hide it in public but these people are doing it openly like they dont see others

One person is speed walking back and forth like his life depends on it and is talking to himself like he's on a very important call

I wanted to get out of that place but i had no choice

I layed down on my bed and pulled my blanket up, tried to stay still for 10 mins, then one of the staff member called us for breakfast

I got up and looked around

A staff member was waking everyone up

Let's call him E, he is incharge of feeding us and changing our bedsheets and stuff

He called me to eat breakfast

I was extremely hungry because i haven't had anything since yesterday morning so i didn't argue this time and i went to the dining area

Its a small space where there are 3 tables and 12 people can sit there, i went and sat there, they gave me some food in a box and a plate and like everyone i opened the box put the food into the plate and i ate it, after completing i threw the boxes in the bin and washed my plate and put it back 

The food tasted average, and pretty much no one spoke while we were eating

I went back to my bed

There was a guy near the door

Lets call him F

The door has two small glass windows through which we can see outside, F was peeking through the door

Then he walked to E and started asking him to make a phone call

E said that he has no authority to give him a phone and if he gives his phone then he might loose his job but F kept begging him

E told F to go and eat, after a while F went to have his breakfast

There was a guy siting on his bed doing nothing

Lets call him G

I didn't know what i should do from now

Then D the handsome hunk came near my bed

"Good morning" he said, looking sleepy

"Good morning" i replied

"Whats your name bro" he asked

"Zero whats your name" i asked

"D Why are you here bro" he asked

"I ran away from my house so they caught me and put me here" i said with a neutral expression

"Oh why did you run away" he asked

"I wanted to live independently without depending on my parents but i have no job so, it happened that way" i said

"Oh crazy bro" he replied

I dont know if he believed me cause we are in a mental hospital and my story didn't have any mental health issue

"Why are you here" i asked

"Oh i kept drinking alcohol for three days straight so my parents put me here" he said

'Is this also a rehab' i thought

"Ok" i replied, because i almost stopped talking to people for 3 years i didn't know how to sound normal and i was giving one word answers

He then left

I was some times sitting on my bed, sometimes standing, sometimes walking around

I get bored easily, i survived till now alone as a introvert by consuming all sorts of entertainment, movies, tv shows, dramas, anime, manga, manhwa, manhua, light novels, webnovels etc etc etc

Because phones are not allowed here im bored out of my mind, i didn't know what to do

I like talking to people but people dont like talking to me

Again i have a massive ego so i mostly dont talk first but if someone talks to me and if im also intrested in talking to them then i keep talking till they yell shut up

For example i never call my school friends but when they call i almost never cut the call

so even if i wanted to throw my ego aside cause im so bored and wanna talk to someone, i can't cause i dont know who is normal, who is abnormal, 

I dont know if D's story is real or hes also suffering from a mental illness

After a while the door opened and a guy walked in, lets call him H, he came in yelling at the staff, his voice is so loud that everyone in this massive room could hear

He after he came in i saw the room become instantly noisier

Because i shut myself off from social interactions, i started feeling everything as energies especially noise

I felt the room filled with energy

Like when a kid is making noise

some people might feel the energy is normal

Some people might feel that the energy is disturbing 

And some might feel the energy is entertaining

When H came in i felt he increased the energy of the room and for me it entertaining, but i could see that staff found it disturbing cause they were telling him to shut up and for me it was a show

He kept talking to everyone and kept talking in that loud voice, the funny thing was he was talking shit about E but because of his loud voice E could here everything

Things were a bit entertaining but i really wished i had my phone

If i just had my phone and internet then it wouldn't have mattered where i was

Someone started crying, i loked over it was a big dude who started crying and making a lot of noise, he then came to the door and kept yelling i want to talk to my mom, my mom will come and take me to disney world,

After a while he calmed down and went back to his bed 

Lets call him J

Time passed and luch time approached

Some people slept after eating breakfast so E started waking everyone up again

Same thing happened again but because of H it was a bit noisy, he sat beside me so he asked why i was here, i told him the same story and asked him why he was here, he said he came here to meet a friend and they locked him up here by mistake

What a story, i controlled my laughter pretty hard

He didn't even try to make it believable, but he felt somehow normal in a weird way

He felt like one of those overthe top friend in a group

After lunch i sometimes tried talking to D cause he felt most normal out of everyone but i felt he had no interest talking to me so i stopped talking to him (my massive ego came into play pretty soon)

After that when ever my eyes met we both just smilled and nodded

I cant blame him, im just booring i guess

This is not the first time this happened, like i have no friends at all 

Like i had couple of good friends but i played my part in ruining those relationships

As i told earlier relations are built with slime and chi 

kidding kidding

I believe relations are built with time and energy

If they dont have time or show interest in building a relation with me then it wont work for me, as simple as that

I feel lonely a lot but i have no other choise, my ego wont let me compromise on the quality of my relationships

Time passed by as i kept looking around at everyone

A guy who was talking to himself got up took a paper out of his pocket came to E and started asking him if stock came in today

He then ticked on the paper and went back to his bed

Lets call him k

I later found that J and k got stuck in a specific time and repeats a certain action over and over again

Dinner time came, i didn't love the food there, it was pretty average, i dont like wasting food so i eat everything unless its really bad, and also if it has lettuce, i hate lettuce to my core

I once forced myself to eat lettuce and i got fever the next day, that was also my first time eating it, its taste made me wanna puke, i just hate it

If i can thanos snap and destroy something, it is gonna be lettuce

If you like lettuce then your my enemy

We will never get along with each other thats for sure

Enough of me rambling about dog food

I went to the dining area, J was there he asked me my name and i asked his then he told me that his mom is going to come and pick him up and they are going to disney world

I said thats great

I then ate my dinner

So my first day there was pretty boring

After dinner they gave me tablets

I said im not gonna take any 

They tried to convince me but i didn't listen

I told them do what ever you want im not gonna cooperate with you so they gave me a injection

Spoiler alert, from the next day i started taking the tablets

My massive ego became pretty useless here

Im not scared of injections or anything but getting one everyday seemed exhausting

After that i slept, that is how my first day in a mentail hospital ended, it was mostly booring

I was woken up by the cold once in the night and had to go to the restroom

I was woken up by E for breakfast i guess it was because of the injection but i slept like a baby even with such cold temperatures

E gave me a bag that my parents gave, it contains some clothes, brush and soap

So i went to brush then i came back and sat in the dining area to eat i looked at D he was eating, he also looked at me, we both smiled and noded at each other

I then started eating my breakfast

It was ok

After i finished it i washed my plate and went back to my bed

After some time H started shouting at the bouncers, it was because he wanted to order food from outside but they were not allowing it

His voice resounds when he just talks, when he shouts even people who were sleeping woke up

H and D started talking a lot seemed like they became besties

Good for them i guess

Theres a kid who seemed to be 15 but behaved like 5, E and bouncers were playing and were a little mean to the kid, lets call the kid k, wow such a coincidence, k was hiding water bottles under his pillow so they were scolding him pretty harshly for that and other small things

After a while a new guy came in, lets call him L, i was boored so because he was at the door close to me i asked him his name and why he was here

He said he was diagnosed with OCD and ADHD, i started to wonder if all people here were normal

L was talking pretty slowly and was always sleepy

So i didn't disturb him anymore

In this was the second day also passed

And similarly the third day also passed

On the forth day someone got discharged so i decided to shift my bed to his

Before there was a guy always sleeping beside my bed, this time it was a dude who was half time sleeping and half time sitting on his bed, beside his bed it was L, lets call him M

I didn't talk to L at first

L and M started talking a little i was just listening to their conversation and sepent my forth day

G is still sitting on bed doing nothing

On the fifth day L M and F started speaking

In the evening i also spoke to them a little

I didn't ask M why he was here

He didn't ask me either

But F asked me why he was here 

I told him the same story and asked him why he was here

He told me it was because he had anger issues

On the sixth day i and M started talking a lot, i asked him why he was here, he said it was because he was divorsed and his parents wanted him to get married again, but he doesn't wanna get married so his parents drugged him and bought him here, i didn't undestand what the use of bringing him here was,

It seemed M had a hard married life, so he doesn't want to get married again, he said he will have a child through surrogacy, surrogace is not socially accepted practice here so his parents were against it,

We talked a lot and he opened up to me pretty much and so did i 

He told me he meditated a lot, he said he learnt a method to send someone yo past or future and see about their closed one's 

He said he sent his friend and she saw that he will have a surrogate child so he chose that path

I didn't believe seeing future was real,

I tried a lot convincing him that he should do what he wants not what suits him or what he think is best for himself

I told him to try falling in love and try marriage again, he was pretty much against it

I was so glad that through this unexpected visit i found a close friend

We kept talking about our selves on the sixth and seventh day

I found that he kept forgetting our conversations a little, i told him that he has memory problem and he also took my comment pretty positively, he said that it was because of tablets and he will work on this problem

And on the seventh day my mom came to take me home

My aunt and mom cried a lot seeing me so i also melted a little and said i will come home

I asked for M's mobile number and remembered it before leaving

All in all mental hospital was extremely booring but

After coming out of that place i got a different outlook on life, i know you all are wondering how

I have seen people who have less intelligence than me, people who behave like kìds, people who forget a lot, all these people lead a much happier life than me

I dont want my intelligence to be my down fall

I have a lot of health issues with my body that i used to ignore before

After coming out i went to a doctor and told him about my problems, after a few tests i found that it is not a major issue for now but i should get opetated if i wanted to,

I dont have crystals so im trying in all ways i can to earn crystals so i can get operated

I have other problems that i didn't go to see a doctor yet because just the tests cost a lot of crystals and i dont want to become a burden to my family by telling them or asking them

So im working pretty hard to earn a lot of crystals, hopefully i can and solve all my problems and live a happy life

.....

I hope your entertained reading this and learnt something from my experience

I tried my best writing this short and very personal memoir [or based on true events]. It reflects my present recollections of experiences over time. All names and characteristics of people and places have been changed for anonymity,

As you can tell i am bad at writing, but i can create very good stories so if your a writer and your bad at creating stories but your good at writing then contact me through instagram, we'll see if we can work together

Your every like and every share will help this memoir reach more people which will help me tremendously to earn more crystals

And guys, only consider supporting me if your rich

If your poor like me then save up some money and go get a medical check up regularly, you may or may not have a illness, you never know

Rich folks, you can support me here on paypal

Your every million crystals will help me a lot hahaha

I dont believe in god but if yall do then pray that i earn a lot of crystals

Thanks a lot guys

Tata

Bye Bye

Ceee yaaa

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Names

A - big dude relative

B - ex friend

C - another relative

D - handsome dude

E - room incharge, staff

F - guy who keeps asking to make a call

G - sitting dude

H - noisy dude

J - disney world dude

K - ticks on paper dude

L - OCD and ADHD dude

M - bestie