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My Roommate is a Reptile?
A Sandwich and a Story

A Sandwich and a Story

  As Rachael led Kragar inside, she didn't even have a chance to begin a tour of her house before the Croctus began his own exploration. The first thing he noticed was the modified recliner sitting in the living room, and his murky-green face lit up upon seeing it.

  "No way!" He exclaimed happily, dropping his suitcase and jogging over to the chair. "Lanardo actually got one? That's awesome!" Rachael entered the living room just in time to see Kragar insert his tail through the hole in the back of the chair. With a satisfied sigh, he settled himself down in the recliner, and from the back it looked like the chair had a tail of its own.

  "Did you ask Lanardo for this?" Rachael asked as she approached the Croctus.

  Kragar nodded and said, "The entire trip over here was a pain, because no place that we stopped had things for people with tails. I mean, a lot of demi-humans can just tuck their tails around themselves, but mine's too big for that. All I can do with it is move it back and forth." He demonstrated this by sweeping his tail from side to side a couple of times, almost knocking Rachael off her feet with the first sweep. Kragar's tail accidentally collided with Rachael's legs, and she could feel that it was mostly muscle. She knew that crocodiles used their tails to both propel themselves while swimming and to lunge at their prey, and this must apply to Croctus as well. Taking this in, Rachael couldn't help but wonder just how much more crocodile Kragar was than man. In fact, at first glance the most human thing about him was only his bipedal stature. Everything else about him was crocodilian, so instead of being fifty-percent crocodile and fifty-percent man, it was more along the lines of seventy-five-percent crocodile and twenty-five-percent man, and even that was a stretch. Why, he was probably-

  Rachael's train of thought was interrupted by Kragar tossing his hoodie over the back of the recliner. Hoodie removed, Rachael could see that Kragar wasn't wearing a shirt underneath, revealing his upper body entirely. His arms and sides were the same leathery texture as his legs and head, but his chest and backside were different. His back was covered in small ridges and bumps like that of a real crocodile, while the front of his torso was smoother than the rest of his body. His chest was also brighter, being a yellow-green color rather than the darker colors sported by the rest of his body. With the massive, muscular Croctus sitting just feet from her, Rachael felt particularly tiny and a little bit intimidated. Kragar had shown no signs of any hostility, but Rachael was still uneased by the fact that he looked like a demi-human version of Dwayne Johnson.

  Dwayne "The Croc" Johnson. Rachael thought to herself, holding back a laugh and momentarily forgetting how intimidating Kragar looked. She decided to break the silence before it turned awkward.

  "When did you last eat?" Rachael asked, picking the question she thought would be the most hospitable. "Something tells me that taking care of his guests isn't Lanardo's first course of action."

  Kragar chuckled, "Yeah, Lanardo can be a little "out there", but he ain't a bad guy. He saved my hide, that's for sure. Whatcha got?"

  Rachael pictured in her mind what was currently resting in her fridge. "Well, I didn't expect you to come so early, so I'm afraid the only things I have are leftovers and sandwich materials. Can I make you a ham and turkey sandwich?"

  Kragar's reptilian eyes lit up at the mention of ham and turkey. "Sure! Any meat works for me." He said, with no hesitation.

  Rachael took note of this. He's not the picky type. She thought. I mean, he is a crocodile. They'll eat just about anything. Turning around, she left the front room and entered the kitchen. As she retrieved everything she needed for the sandwich, she casually glanced out the sliding-glass doors at the workers finishing up the plumbing. A couple were standing around chit-chatting, as only so many were needed to complete the plumbing job, and Rachael could see that one had a sub sandwich of his own in his hands. He had his back partially turned towards Rachael, and she watched as he took a large bite out of his sandwich, his scraggily tail swishing back and forth in delight as he chewed and swallowed the… Hold on.

  Rachael quickly set down the bread and mayonnaise she had been holding and approached the glass doors. With her face almost pressed against the glass, she rubbed her eyes in disbelief as she got a better look at the union workers standing in her backyard. After confirming that the sandwich-bearing man did have a tail, she looked to the others standing about the yard. To her surprise, at least half of the men bore some resemblance to dogs. Not only did they have tails of varying length and furriness, but they also had paw-like hands, dog noses, and ears to match their canine appearance. Rachael was dumbfounded by all of this. Why hadn't she noticed any of this before? It was blatantly obvious that the men standing in her backyard were Kobolds, a type of canine demi-human that was arguably the most common of all the demi-humans worldwide, and after another minute of observation, Rachael realized that the workers' canine features were easily concealed by hats, gloves, and safety vests.

  "Whatcha lookin' at?" Asked a voice behind Rachael. With a startled squeak, Rachael whipped around to find herself face-to-face with Kragar. Noticing her surprised expression and squeak, the Croctus laughed, "Sorry, did I scare you? You seemed really interested in something out there."

  Shaking her head, Rachael glanced back at the union workers. "A little bit." She admitted, "I just realized that a bunch of those men out there are Kobolds. I feel bad for not having noticed sooner. Do you think they'd like drinks? I'd hate for them-"

  "Stop that." Kragar said firmly, snapping Rachael out of her thoughts. "I know where this is going. You don't need to treat them any differently now that you know they're demies. If there's one thing we hate, it's being treated differently than you 'regular' humans, and I'm not talking about things that actually are different. They're just here to do their job, just like the rest of the men that don't have tails." Rachael knew Kragar was right, and this was something that she'd have to pay attention to, now that she was going to be living with a demi-human. Offering refreshments wasn't a bad thing to do, but offering because she thought she had to be nice to the demi-humans would be impolite, even if they didn't know the reason themselves.

  "Do you have to deal with a lot of that?" Rachael asked, turning back to face Kragar.

  The Croctus nodded. "I didn't think it was that big of an issue until I left the swamp," He answered. "but anyone who doesn't try to see it from our view does it. It's annoying as all hell, lemme tell you."

  It was beginning to dawn on Rachael the seriousness of the situation she currently found herself in. With Kragar living under the same roof as her, most, if not all, of the issues demi-humans faced on a day-to-day basis would be brought to the forefront of her own daily life. She would no longer be able to remain neutral on the subject of the demi-humans and all the points that said subject covered. Granted, she wouldn't have to make her decisions immediately, but she certainly wouldn't be able to avoid them. "I suppose it would be…" Rachael said in vague agreement as she tried to arrange her thoughts.

  In silence, she left the back doors and returned to the sandwich materials resting on the kitchen counter, and Kragar took a seat at the kitchen table centered in the middle of the room. Out of the corner of her eye, Rachael watched as Kragar turn the wooden chair sideways so that he could sit on it without his tail getting in the way. Stools. Rachael thought, making a mental note. Stools would be perfect for a tailed demi-human like Kragar to sit on. What about beanbags for lounging? He had said that his tail couldn't bend like other demi-humans' could, but would a soft seat like a beanbag have enough cushion to be comfortable?

  As she thought on these things, Rachael finished the ham and turkey sandwich, and she was just about to turn around and present it to Kragar when another thought crossed her mind: How much did large demi-humans like Croctus eat? Placing the "unfinished" sandwich back on the counter, Rachael quickly added another layer to turn the sandwich into a double-decker. Pleased with her changes, she pivoted on her heels with sandwich in hand and approached her crocodilian houseguest, who was currently picking a chunk of… Something out of the gum line of one of his dagger-esque teeth.

  "Oh-ho! Not bad for a first try!" Kragar exclaimed happily when he caught sight of the sandwich. "I was afraid you'd be like the other people and made something that looked like a piece of paper." Rachael entirely sure if the Croctus was joking, but given their last conversation, she could safely assume he wasn't. That thought, however, was wiped from her mind when she saw how Kragar ate his food. The crocodile man naturally picked up the sandwich and placed it in his extended jawline, closed his mouth, and swallowed. She realized that she hadn't even begun to find out how much a Croctus could eat when Kragar, with complete seriousness, asked, "Can you make another, please?"

  The demi-human gave Rachael a look of concern when she remained still and silent, stunned by the sudden disappearance of such a large amount of food. "…You alright?" He asked hesitantly, tilting his head slightly as Rachael continued to stare.

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  Realizing that she was being rather rude, she cleared her throat and said, "Sorry, no… I mean yes! I was just caught off guard by your… Eating habits." She didn't know any other way to put it. The sight of Kragar swallowing the sandwich whole had surprised her.

  To her relief, Kragar seemed amused by this, rather offended or irritated. "Yeah, you and everyone else." He said with a smirk. "Even Lanardo was surprised. He dared me to fit the biggest thing I could eat in my mouth, so I folded up the pizza we were going to split and swallowed it in one go!" The Croctus was now visibly holding back a laugh. "You humans are funny. Always shocked by what us demi-humans can do." He had a point. With their tails, claws, wings, super-human abilities, unique cultures, and more, demi-human species constantly one-upped humans in almost all categories. In fact, the only thing keeping demi-humans from becoming the superior race on Earth was the fact that they were significantly outnumbered by the comparatively bland humans that covered the face of the planet. Unfortunately, that fact was one of the main reasons people felt resentment towards the demi-humans. "Now," Kragar continued, "About that second sandwich…"

  Hearing the crocodile's eagerness to receive another sandwich, Rachael couldn't help but smile and feel at ease. True, Kragar was large and could very easily be terrifying if he wanted to be, but his immediate nature appeared to be a kind, caring, thoughtful one. Never judge a book by its cover. Rachael thought as she turned back to the bread and meat to whip up another double-decker ham-n-turkey sandwich.

  Upon Rachael's completion of the second sandwich, Kragar readily reached out for the borderline-meal of a snack. But to the Croctus' dismay, Rachael held it out of his reach. "Hold on," She said playfully, using his want of the sandwich to her advantage, "if you want this one, you'll have to answer a question first."

  "Oh yeah? Like what?" Kragar questioned, resting a leathery elbow on the table and leaning forward curiously.

  "What happened to bring you all the way over here?" Rachael asked, rather bluntly, with a completely serious expression. "If you're going to stay here, I want to know whether I'll be living with a hardened criminal or a victim of being in the wrong place at the wrong time." Kragar knew she was going to ask this fairly quickly. Lanardo had informed him of what Rachael did and did not know, and told him to be prepared to answer questions honestly. What a hypocrite.

  Sitting up straight in the sideways chair, Kragar folded his clawed hands and rested them on the table. "I'll be honest with you, I'm not a killer or a thief. You could say I'm innocent, but my intentions at the time weren't. It happened back in my swamp in Florida, the Okefenokee Swamp. Great place to live. Lots of wildlife, good food, very moist. The only real problems are the people that visit it. See, the Croctus that live there, which included my family, have their own section of the swamp since humans aren't too fond of our species. We keep it fenced off, but that didn't stop several jackasses from coming in anyways. These guys came in to do something, but I never found out what. I saw them boating down the river and I wanted to have a little fun with them. I approached their boat like a crocodile would, and dove underwater when they saw me, but then they dropped meat into the water. I thought they were being friendly and knew what I was, but when I bit down on the blasted trap, they snagged me with a hook. Ripped off a chunk of skin too." Kragar turned his head to the left and parted his jaws slightly, allowing Rachael to see where a portion of his gums had a jagged scar surrounding a sharp, white tooth. The sight of the scar sent a shiver down Rachael's spine when she imagined the tooth and gum painfully ripping out of Kragar's jaw. The tooth was also brighter than the others, indicating that it must have grown in recently.

  "After that," The Croctus continued, turning his head back to face Rachael, "I don't remember much other than trying to sink them and rip their teeth out. The one that I grabbed wouldn't stop flailing, so I threw him out of the river and tried to give chase. Tripped on a log, though, and they got away. I figured that they'd just leave and never come back, but then we heard on the radio that the fools were telling everybody that I threatened to kill all of them and their families and some other dumb stuff." Rachael assumed that by "we" Kragar must have meant his family. Did they have houses in the swamp? She decided to save that question for later, as Kragar was still talking.

  "It was just a couple days until the cops started asking questions around the swamp, and apparently they were out to have me arrested. Some of my friends tried to talk them out of it, but it only made them angrier, and then they said the Croctus were harboring a wanted criminal. That's when Lanardo heard about the whole mess, and decided to get me out of there, pronto."

  "And he just immediately began looking for a new place for you to stay?" Rachael asked, confused as to why anyone would take such a drastic action so quickly.

  To this, Kragar shook his head. Crossing his arms and leaning onto the table again, he continued, "No, at first we just stayed in a hotel outside of the swamp, waiting for this to blow over when the cops couldn't pin the right Croctus. But those idiots started rallying other idiots together, and started making a big riot about how the police were 'giving up too quickly', and that 'they couldn't let me get away with assault just because I'm a demi'. Then someone at the hotel ratted on me, and it was then that Lanardo decided to get me out of state. Looking back, it probably would've been smarter to just deal with the cops, but it's too late for that now…" Kragar sighed, and glanced out the window. "I miss home already, and I hate this whole thing."

  Rachael honestly couldn't help but feel a mix of emotions after hearing Kragar's story. She felt sorry for Kragar and the fact that he was removed from his home, but it was to avoid the law. Regardless of the unfairness of the situation, it was still illegal, and Rachael knew that was wrong. But the act of baiting a hook… "Kragar," She began slowly, organizing her thoughts, "you said they had the meat on a hook?"

  The crocodile nodded glumly as he stared at the tabletop. "It was a stupid trick to fall for. I should have guessed they would pull something like that."

  "But if they knew you were a Croctus, would they really have tried to injure you like that?" Rachael pointed out. "Baiting a hook is something people do sometimes when hunting for crocodiles."

  Kragar looked up at Rachael in interest, and raised an eye-arch. "So, you're saying that… They were poachers?" He asked, and Rachael nodded in response. As the truth slowly dawned on Kragar, the Croctus slowly sat upright once again. Rachael jumped in her seat when he pounded a fist on the table and growled, "Those bastards! They were the ones bein' illegal!"

  "Well, yes, but-" Rachael was interrupted by Kragar laughing victoriously, jumping up from his seat and pumping a fist in the air.

  "I've got 'em now!" He cheered, pounding his right fist into his left palm. "Once the fuzz hears that they were croc hunting on Croctus territory, they'll bag those jackasses for sure! I can't wait to see the looks on their faces when-"

  "Kragar." Rachael said firmly, putting a stop to Kragar's celebration. "As great as it is to know that they were the ones breaking the law, they aren't the only ones doing it now."

  "Well, I guess there are others breaking the law too, but aren't focusing on the poachers right now?" Kragar asked, missing the point of Rachael's statement.

  Shaking her head with a sigh, Rachael reminded him, "You are breaking the law, Kragar. You're on the run from the police." Upon hearing this, the joy from learning that the men had been poaching washed off of Kragar's reptilian face. He knew there was no denying that he had backed himself into a corner, and was now stuck until they could find a way out of this. Sure, Lanardo could probably get the assault charges dropped, but the act of running from the law was another issue entirely. Slumping back into the chair, Kragar ran a hand over his bald, green head, muttering something profane under his breath. He now looked more irritated than disappointed, and the scowl that was forming on his face made his appearance slightly more menacing on its own. Not wishing to see Kragar angry this early into his stay, Rachael stepped around the table and placed the sandwich in front of the Croctus. Then, placing a hand on his shoulder, she said, "Hey, it's going to be alright. I'm sure Lanardo will find a way around this. A legal way, hopefully." She was amazed how coarse and rugged his skin felt underneath her hand. It felt exactly like the skin of the crocodiles in the reptile house at the zoo, but that was to be expected. He was more crocodile than man, after all.

  When Rachael placed her hand on his shoulder, Kragar turned his head to look at her. It was the first time a non-demi other than Lanardo had willingly touched him without any real hesitation. Was she not terribly intimidated by his appearance and simply hiding it to be polite? "Yeah, hopefully…" He agreed, picking up the sandwich in one hand and staring at it for a moment. Rachael's act of having taken Kragar's demi-human attributes into account and feeding him a meal almost suiting his size had amazed him. Maybe Lanardo actually pulled through this time and found a quality human being…

  Mulling this over in his head, Kragar opened his gaping maw and dropped the sandwich into the veritable black hole that was his stomach. To his surprise, Rachael gave him a light laugh this time. "It's going to take me a while to get used to that." She said with a smile, at the same time earning one in return from Kragar.

  "Yeah, it's not something you see every day." He chuckled. "The last time I saw someone do this who wasn't a Croctus was a hippo-guy at a truck-stop on the way over here. We got in a chugging contest, and he actually beat me!" Kragar sighed happily at the thought, and was about to ask Rachael if she knew any other demi-humans when one of the Kobolds knocked on the sliding doors. The Kobold was of the beagle variety with droopy ears, a long thin tail, and short, brown fur with white patches around his eyes and paws.

  "Excuse me ma'am," He said to Rachael, "but can I get you to come outside and take a look at the pool, just to make sure everything's satisfactory?"

  "Oh, sure. Let me grab my shoes and I'll be out in a sec." Rachael responded, quickly turning and exiting to the front room to retrieve her footwear. As she did so, she decided that she would try to make some small talk with the Kobolds to learn a little more about the demi-human situation in San Francisco. She had always avoided the topic before, but now that Kragar would be living with her, it would be best to hear from a truthful source. And goodness, no one could trust the news networks to be unbiased.

  As Rachael followed the Kobold outside, Kragar got up from the table and moved to retrieve his suitcase. He figured that he could unpack what little he had while Rachael talked with the Kobolds, and couldn't help but hope that she would turn out to be the kind, respectable host that Lanardo had promised he would find. Only time would tell, and given the situation Kragar found himself in, he had plenty.

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