Lyra wasn't what you'd call an outdoorsy type. Hiking? Mud between her toes? No thank you. She found her joy amidst the blinking lights of her PC and the gentle hum of an overloaded power supply. So, when the news reports first screamed about the System Integration – a fantastical event that sounded ripped straight out of her favorite isekai anime – her reaction wasn't to barricade the doors. It was to update her graphics card drivers.
The Integration didn't disappoint. Floating blue screens promising stats and skills popped up for everyone, pigeons started fire-breathing, and that perpetually cranky squirrel in the park now apparently leveled up as a 'Dire Nut-Muncher'. Lyra mostly observed the ensuing chaos from behind her curtains, a half-eaten bag of chips by her side and a strategy game half-paused on her monitor.
It was amidst this bedlam that 'Rocky' decided to come alive.
Rocky wasn't just any rock. He was Lyra's pet rock. Her best friend had gifted him as a gag during Secret Santa back in college, complete with poorly glued googly eyes. When the System Integration hit, Rocky had glowed the brightest neon blue Lyra had ever seen. At first, she blamed the weird cosmic radiation reports on the news, but when Rocky did a little wiggle on her bookshelf, she knew things had taken a turn for the truly absurd.
"So…you're like, a monster now?" Lyra whispered, staring at her formerly inanimate pet.
A dialogue box, just like the ones from her video games, popped up above Rocky.
Rocky (Lvl 1) : Affirmative. All hail the mighty pebble.
"Pebble, huh? Not much of a fearsome monster name," Lyra scoffed, the absurdity of the conversation finally winning out.
Rocky: Fear not, oh doubtful mistress! I shall evolve in time! Soon, your enemies will tremble at my very…rockiness.
"Oh, I’m trembling alright," Lyra snickered, a giggle escaping her. The world might be crumbling into a bizarre role-playing game, but here she was, having a chat with a super-powered pebble. "Right, first question – have you developed any useful skills?"
Rocky: I can identify moss varieties with 90% accuracy!
Lyra groaned. Her survival hopes didn't seem to rest on mossy foundations. Then, an idea flickered.
"Rocky, can you…" She lowered her voice. "Can you check my character sheet?"
The System Integration had been chaotic, and she'd barely glanced at her own stats, too distracted by the pigeon-turned-mini-dragon situation outside.
Taken from Royal Road, this narrative should be reported if found on Amazon.
A new blue box shimmered into existence.
Character: Lyra Blackthorne
Class: Grand Duchess of Snacks
Level: 1
HP: Surprisingly Average
MP: Laughably Low
Str: Pathetic
Agi: Makes Sloths Look Speedy
Int: Genius Levels (If We’re Being Honest)
Unique Skill: Snackomancy – the ability to conjure tasty treats out of thin air.
Lyra blinked. Then blinked again. "Snackomancy? Seriously?"
Rocky bobbed gleefully (if a rock could actually bob). It appears your destiny is paved with deliciousness, mistress!
As if on cue, Lyra's stomach rumbled loudly.
“Let’s be honest, Rocky, if the apocalypse happens to have a chocolate fountain weakness, this whole situation might just work out for me…”
A wave of dizziness momentarily washed over Lyra – her ridiculously low MP at work, no doubt. "Alright, time to put Snackomancy to the test… " she announced, closing her eyes in mock-dramatic concentration. She envisioned a blueberry muffin – warm, with gooey chunks of chocolate chips. "Muffin of Might, appear!"
Nothing. She cracked open an eye. Silence, save for the distant squawk of the fire-pigeon.
"Okay, maybe not so mighty…" Lyra grimaced. "How about just… appear?"
Still nothing. Her stomach echoed her disappointment.
Rocky wobbled beside her. Focus is key, mistress! Envision it! Crave it!
Frustrated, Lyra tried once more. She pictured the muffin in great detail: the cracked top, the sweet blueberry scent… Her mouth watered. With a surprising pop, a perfectly golden muffin materialized in her hand.
"Holy crap on a cracker!" Lyra swore, gaping at the pastry perfection she'd created. After a hesitant sniff, she took a bite. Pure culinary bliss exploded in her mouth. “Rocky, I’m a freaking food wizard!”
Her trusty rock companion pulsed with pride. And I, your humble squire, have an important discovery! With each muffin, your MP seems to regenerate slightly.
"Muffin…magic," Lyra mumbled through another blissful bite. "Alright, Rocky, it's official. We're not gonna starve in this RPG Apocalypse. But survival will need more than blueberry goodness..."
Suddenly, an alert box filled her vision.
Quest Alert: Pigeon Peril! Subdue the fire-breathing pigeon menace (1/1) on your street. Reward: 100 XP, Chance of Skill Unlock.
Lyra choked on her muffin. Pigeon subjugation? That...sounded more like other people's problems. Like those buff outdoorsy folk she vaguely recalled on the news, leveling up after wrestling mutant bees or something. Not exactly her idea of fun.
Rocky: Fear not! I propose a tactical retreat while we devise a strategy! For even the most powerful rock takes time to plan out its conquests.
With that, Rocky bounced down from the bookshelf. This might have been the smartest suggestion her pet rock had made all day.
"Tactical retreat!" Lyra echoed, grabbing a handful of conjured cookies (for stamina, of course). Slinging her backpack over her shoulder, she gave one last longing glance at her gaming setup. It might be a while before she got to finish that strategy game.
Lyra opened the door, Rocky rolling ahead with surprising speed. Outside, chaos reigned supreme. The formerly cranky squirrel was now the size of a labrador and terrorizing a group of hapless joggers. The fire-pigeon screeched overhead, its flames barely singeing a 'Level Up!' banner floating amongst the clouds.
This was definitely not her kind of game. But, with a determined sigh and a pocket full of muffins, Lyra knew one thing: underestimating the Grand Duchess of Snacks was going to be a big mistake. She just had to make sure she didn't run out of MP mid-pigeon fight.