KEEPING MY SANITY

The thought that Draven had been lying to me from the beginning drilled into my mind, making my teeth

grit. I didn't think I could handle another betrayal without losing my mind. I'd had enough of things

falling apart in my life. It would have been so much easier if I were living in a human world. When the

human guy wants you in his bed, he doesn't play the destiny card to put pressure on you. Draven did

everything he could to make me feel guilty for not choosing him. He made sure that I would always feel

that if I chose Sariel, I would go against the higher power and become cursed. The feeling he planted in

my heart had been haunting me, spreading through my body like poison. But if I wasn't his mate, then

why did he lie? Why would he be so desperate to make me his Luna? I refused to believe that I had a

certain value that could help him become king. He could have claimed the throne all by himself.

Besides, if I wasn't his mate, then who was it? Was it Jetta? Was it the real reason why she hated me?

Was it because Draven rejected his mate just so he could make his dreams of glory come true? It

sounded too ruthless and messed up, even for Draven.

I went back to my room to pack, trying not to think at all. Wherever my thoughts went, a wave of fear

flowed through my body. Elora was pregnant, Sariel was nowhere to be found, and it was possible that

Draven wasn't my mate. It was too much for me to keep my mind focused on the fact that I would soon

fight against my father's pack. I desperately needed to solve at least one of those unknown issues.

There was no way for me to learn more about Elora's pregnancy, and I was in no state of mind to

confront Draven yet. The only other thing I could do was to talk to Patrick. He should have been in

constant contact with Leo. I truly hoped that at least the Royal Army's general would know more about

Sariel's disappearance. One part of my mind hoped that it was all some kind of Sariel's stratagem, an

act to lure out JD. Maybe the only thing that was truly missing was his phone, not him. God… I needed

someone to tell me that he was alive. I could live with everything else, but not without him living in this

world. I would rather bear the thought of not having him in my life and him living happily with someone

else… I prayed to every higher power to save him, to let him live. I wished for nothing more than that.

As soon as I packed my backpack, my movements became automatic: I got up, walked out of the

room, and went across the street to another hotel where the Royal Army was staying. I marched

straight to the fourth floor to room 406, Patrick's room. I knocked.

A second later, Patrick opened the door with an aggressive jerk. In that brief moment before he saw

me, his posture was filled with hostility, and his eyes were blazing. I'd never seen him act like that

before, at least not towards me. When his eyes finally acknowledged that it was me, standing by his

room, he slightly lowered his guard. Nonetheless, his gaze remained hostile.

"Mind telling me why you smell like this dog?" he hissed.

I cringed. He knew. I didn't have to say a word, and he knew what I did; what choice I made. I frowned

and clenched my teeth.

"You have no right to judge me, Patrick," I said, glaring at him. "Your King did everything he could to

push me away, and Draven…" I stopped.

The phrase that I was Draven's mate stuck in my throat. It was my excuse to hope for unconditional

love, my excuse to think that I could be happier without Sariel because I would choose my destiny. If it

had been a lie, it would have stripped me of my self-esteem. It would have been Draven's fault for

making such a disgusting lie, but it would have been mine as well for believing him. My assumption had

yet to be confirmed, but Patrick's stare already made me feel like a slut. I hated that feeling.

I bit my lip hard, giving my body an anchor to regain some balance. I feared that without the mask of

sanity I placed on my face would fall off and I would break to pieces while standing in the hotel corridor.

"I apologize." Patrick soothed the tone of his voice. "I am furious, and I acted awful, taking it out on

you." He gave me a faint smile and invited me into his room with a gesture.

I nodded, accepting his apology, and walked inside. He closed the door behind us and pointed at a

chair by the table. I sat down, and he sat next to me. I examined his face and saw anger beyond

taming, ready to surface with the tiniest spark. I wasn't used to seeing Patrick on the edge, and it made

me feel even more restless, but the worst part was noticing the helplessness in his eyes.

"Please…" I mumbled, swallowing a big gulp in my throat, "Tell me everything that happened.

Otherwise, I might go insane." owns this text.

He met my anxious gaze, let out a deep sigh, then shifted in his seat, straightening, and locked his

eyes on me. "Two days ago, three battalions were chasing a massive group of degenerates. They were

30 miles northwest of Greystoneville and were getting closer to an area densely populated by humans.

It was obvious that it would be a massacre if the degenerates entered those areas. That was why King

Sariel divided one of the battalions and took a group of less than a hundred men to lead those

degenerates in the opposite direction. Unfortunately, the mastermind leading the degenerates had

foreseen that move. More than three hundred degenerates came to set an ambush, breaking up the

King's group. General Gotha lost contact with him ever since…" Patrick lowered his head and curved

his hand into a fist.

I placed my hand on my chest, feeling my heart was about to burst out of my ribcage. The pulse

thundered inside my eardrums, accelerating my dizziness. I took thousands of shallow breaths, but

none of them could suffice for the sudden lack of oxygen inside my body. With every ounce of strength

within me, I forced myself to keep my eyes steady on Patrick and think. I needed to shut down each

emotional part of me. My rationality was the only shield I had.

"What about Leo? Didn't he go after him? Wasn't he looking for him when his master went missing?!" I

asked, anger and frustration surfacing more with each word.

"He did," Patrick replied dryly, "and General Gotha led a large group, following the King's direction."

"And?" My anxiety put me on the edge of my seat.

Patrick pulled in a nervous, sharp breath, "Three hours after the General sent a message to the

Palace, I lost contact with him and his entire group as well. I assume that the General's group must

have been cut off. Perhaps someone is jamming the signal in the entire area, and that is why the whole

communication is gone."

Despite my trembling body, I forced a wide wave of air into my lungs and let out a long exhale. The

more I heard from Patrick, the more devastated I was. How could I clear my mind and enter the battle

while feeling so helpless? I had no idea who JD was, but at that moment I hated him, maybe even

more than I hated my father. The awareness that every single one of those degenerates used to be a

human was making me sick. It seemed like JD didn't care who he killed as long as it could give him

power. No wonder why Elora started collaborating with him: they were both psychos. The problem was,

compared to JD, Elora was completely harmless…

"So… what now?" I asked, restlessly tapping my fingers on the chair's armrest.

"Now we wait." Patrick's voice sounded more serious than ever before. "We wait and hope for them to

win."