“Hello babe? Would it be okay to visit you? "I really miss you already.” He said the moment I answered the call.

“Yeah, come visit. I have been quite bored recently. I could use some entertainment” I replied lazily.

“Do I look like a clown to you?” He replied sound amused.

“Better than a clown, a comedian maybe” I replied, smiling.

“Anyway, both of us are on our way. We also brought a gift.” He replied and ended the call.

What gift could it be? I looked around to find my husband nearby with his tablet. I then made an annoyed face. He wasn’t talking to me anyway. About 10 minutes later, the phone rang, and I picked it up. It was the guards at the gates asking about letting the visitors in, which I agreed.

A few minutes later, I heard a car outside and stood up to open the door to greet them. Jonathan was carrying a fruit basket and some kind of box. It had every fruit I loved bananas, watermelon, oranges and mango. I was curious what was in the box. I was guessing it was food. There was nothing, I would want more. Then I noticed Angelo was bringing a bag. He probably just came back from training or something and just didn’t think much of it.

Jonathan hugged me and said, “I brought you some chicken, burger and fruits to munch on.”

I nodded happily.

Angelo also came for a hug and whispered, “I brought our torture devices, just signal me and I’ll use them on your husband.”

I was baffled and looked at him, replied to him smiling to not make it suspicious “That won’t be necessary. Leave it in the car”

He looked like I had taken away something fun and replied, “Fine up to you” and turned back towards the car.

I went to the dining room and, as expected, Jonathan had already helped himself with three plates and 3 glasses. He was already slicing some fruits and waiting for us. Our kitchen had a cooking area and then a counter. So I sat down on the stool, put my hands on the counter and watched him slicing the fruits. After a while, I was now kind of sleepy from watching him and lay down in my arms and closed my eyes.

I felt someone tap me on the shoulder and opened my eyes to see that Jonathan was gone from the cooking area and turned my head to look behind me. There, Angelo was standing behind me, hand on my shoulder.

“Come on, everything is ready” he said.

I looked at the table and the two men were already seated, while Angelo was trying to help me out of my stool and sit me down on the dining table with all of them. We then started eating. It was silent for a while until we were done with the chicken and burgers.

“Princess, should we tell Lily and Jules? It’s been a week.” Jonathan started

“I know” I replied, looking guilty.

“Why do you call her princess? First it was poppy, now princess?” Michael sounded annoyed rather than curious.

Jonathan replied, “Princess Poppy, we have called her that since we were young. She is beautiful, sweet and innocent like a princess, our princess. Poppy, since she is as beautiful and addictive as an Opium Poppy Flower.” Then he looked like he was in a deep thought and looked back at Michael and continued, “And by the way rarely lethal too” And winked.

I mouthed at him “STOP”

He gave me a teasing smile but changed the subject, “Babe, your birthday is just in a few weeks, can you please for the life of me let me design a dress for your birthday?”

I nodded and smiled, but before I could say anything, I heard Michael say, “Don’t call her babe, and no you can’t. She will wear the dress I prepared for her.”

I looked at him, bewildered. A dress he prepared for me? In the past 2 years of our marriage that sh*t has never happened. What is he bullshiting about? I pick my own dress.

I looked back at Jonathan, he looked utterly disappointed and did not talk further. Then I looked at Angelo, who seemed calm. But if you look closely, you can see veins on his neck, which means he is upset.

“That’s not up to you, it’s not your birthday, is it?” Angelo said in a calm tone.

“How can it not be? She’s my wife”, Michael replied.

“Mhm, not for long.” Angelo scoffed and had a mocking smile on his face.

Michael stood up, slammed the table and said, “Shut up, Or I’ll kick you out of my house”, then walked out of the dining room.

“Honestly princess, you should have just married me when I asked you before you came back here”, he said calmly and drank a soda.

“Ange, stop it!” I said and looked at him.

I looked at Jonathan and continued, “And Jonathan, I’d be happy for you to design my dress.”

This narrative has been purloined without the author's approval. Report any appearances on Amazon.

“Oh my ghod really? Like for real?” he replied excitedly. Jonathan looked energetic and excited again.

I nodded

“I have already made designs, it’s on my tablet right here. Come pick with me,” he said excitedly, and sat beside me.

For the next few hours we happily talked about how to design my dress as well as my jewelry and shoes. I did not see my husband until they left. He was going down the stairs, glaring at me.

I did not bother talking to him and just went upstairs to my room. I’m planned to shower and prepare to take a nap. I feel so exhausted. When I was done, I finally closed my eyes and went to sleep.

When I woke up, it was already dark outside, and I felt kind of hungry. I stood up and went to my secret cabinet to look for my favorite chips. I’m quite lucky that I’m not experiencing any morning sickness so far, and I can eat anything I want. I took three chips from my cabinet and sat down on the sofa and turned on the TV to watch some movies and picked my favorite romcom.

Halfway through the movie, I was already done with the two bags of chips, so I touched beside me where I remembered putting them, to find the place empty, so I turned to look, to find that my husband was sitting beside me. And carrying some dinner, when he noticed that I was looking at him. He stood up and got the portable table and put the food in front of me and got one for himself too. I ate while watching the movie. When the movie was done, I took the remote to find another movie.

“Wait, can we talk?” Michael started.

I looked at him and nodded.

“I’m sorry about Angelo, a while ago” I replied, feeling guilty for not stepping in.

“mhm, it’s not about that”, Michael replied.

I looked at him.

“Did you ever date someone before me?” he asked curiously.

I bit my lip wondering how to answer and just resolved to nod.

He asked gently, “Is it okay to ask who it is? I promise not to get angry”

I was stunned and looked at him seriously, “Are you sure?”

He just nodded.

So, I continued looking anxiously at him. “In my third year of college, Angelo and I started dating.”

He looked like he was expecting it as well as hurt, but said “mhm, can you tell me more?”

“Well, it was more about keeping me company unlike a real relationship, but we all knew he liked me since high school. So you know, I said yes just to see where it goes. Before I came back here, I was still dating him. He declared he would marry me when I got back. I felt guilty and broke up with him a week before my flight. He accepted it calmly and just said he needed some time and that he knew I was too invested in someone else, and hoped that I’d be happy in the future.” I made it as short as I could.

“Would you have married him? If you went back,” he asked.

“Don’t let me answer a question you don’t want an answer to, please Michael. "I don’t want to hurt you.” I said teary-eyed.

“Please Sienna, I just want to know.” He replied on the verge of tears. He knew what the answer was, yet he still wanted to hear it from me.

“Yes, I probably would have. He is my emergency guy, if I end up unmarried at 30. I wanted kids. Just like Lily chose Jules to be her emergency guy. We were in high school, young and bored. It just came up, and we all agreed to it. So please, let this issue go.” I explained and looked down.

He nodded, and I could see him crying, and somehow there was nothing I could do to ease the pain he was feeling. I did this what right did I have to comfort him.

So I sat there hugging my legs. I don’t know what to do. I’m so useless. I felt like crying, so I cried, and I don’t feel any better at all.

I woke up now in bed. I looked up to find him still sleeping and hugging me tightly. I hugged him as well. Which woke him up.

He looked down and said, barely smiling, “Good morning beautiful.”

I tried to smile back, and replied “Good morning handsome.”

But he could not let the issue go. “So, you said our marriage was a secret, right? From your friends.”

I nodded

“Why is that?” he asked.

I thought of it and said, recalling the events, “Actually, they are more like my family, not really friends. So before you got to the airport to pick me up, when I just got here, I left my bag since I really needed to go to the bathroom. When I got back, half of my bags were gone and one of those was where I put my phone, since our phones were kind of connected. Somehow, you know, privately, just the five of us, there was no way of communicating with them other than that at all. You already know how private Zetiana is. Even their social accounts couldn’t be found, so I couldn’t inform them of our wedding, and somehow I couldn’t get back for some reason.”

“But yena, what bothers me, is why they don’t know I’d be married to you. We have been arranged to marry since you were born. It still doesn’t make sense” He replied unconvinced.

I could not look at him and just looked up at the ceiling. Because I really did not mention him at all to any of them. I mean what would I say? I have this boring kid I play with back at Illani who I am arranged to marry, but I don’t want to marry him? I couldn’t even imagine the conversation, and it was always something not really in my mind at all, nor was there a need to share. But now I love this man, I still understand my younger self why it was a topic that I never brought up.

“Yena, tell me honestly, did you ever mention me to them?” He asked, and I could feel his arms tightening around me.

I could not answer him at all. There was no answer that was going to make him happy.

I felt his arms tightening even more as I could hear a sarcastic giggle from him.

As it got tighter, I tapped on his chest and said anxiously, “Michael, I can’t breath”

He let me go, stood up and glared at me, like he could kill me at any second. I just looked down, feeling guilty that I

I can’t even do anything to make all of this better.

“So, have I been your big secret from the beginning? Was that why you never reached out in your years of college nor visited at all? Was I even important to you?” he said, looking more hurt than angry.

Still, I looked down and didn’t answer him. What answer would make him happy should I lie? To make him feel better?

So I tried to lie to him. “No-no, I told them all about you, th-they just probably forgot, and I-I-I couldn’t visit because I was b-busy with school, you're very important to m-me see, I-I’m even married to you, isn’t that proof?” but my voice didn’t come out right.

“Sienna, we both know you can’t lie. You always speak with conviction and confidence. Now somehow you are stammering with just a few sentences. "I appreciate the sentiment, but I prefer the truth from you” he said, and looked at me even more disappointed.

I looked down, because no matter what I say, there is nothing I’m going to say that is going to make all of this better.

“Let me rephrase, did you ever have any intention of marrying me back then? Since I can now see that our marriage is a secret, and not just that, even I am your secret as well, from the people you call family.” As he said that, I could sense the hurt and disappointment in his voice.

“No, I wanted to go back, and since my parents died, I couldn't find any reason to stay here anymore. So, I wanted to start my life there on my own. Although, as I said, the reason I couldn’t tell them about our wedding was because my phone was stolen when I got here and couldn’t find them on any social platforms, it was frustrating at first, but I thought I was getting back anyway. But after marrying you, you nor your family would not allow me to go home.” I looked at him and explained as much as I could.

“Home? "Am I not home enough for you?” he asked, and I could see a tear falling from his eye.

“That’s not what I mean! You knew I had no one here, yet you never allowed me to go back to Zetiana, even just for a visit.” I told him, finding it in him to allow me to go.

“What about me? "Did you plan to leave me too?” he said, and I could not answer, because yes, I was. He was an irrelevant part of my future when I came here.

“No! "I will never allow you to go back. Mark my words, you are never going back to Zetiana. I will never allow you to leave me!” He turned, walked to the door and slammed the door.

I was left in the room. I could not help but cry. I folded my knees and hugged it while I cried even more. Lied back down and couldn't help but cry my eyes out ons again. I tried to go back to sleep, but I couldn’t, so I went out of the room. Percy ran towards me, trying to play with me.

“Percy not now, stay okay?” I said before walking away and walking mindlessly out of our house.

After a while of twists and turns, around the streets I found myself in a playground. I felt a drop in my nose and looked up. It seems that it is starting to rain. I looked at the children who were playing in the playground who had started to enjoy running around as the rain got worse. The parents were running back to get their umbrellas and trying to convince their children to stop playing in the rain and go home, and I just sat on the bench looking as some walked away from the playground and others just resolved on letting the children enjoy the rain. I looked at them fondly as I touched my belly. Would I be a good mother if I ended up having this baby? I caressed my stomach, and felt like I wasn’t alone anymore.

I let the rain wash away my worries watching the children running aound as I let kept on caressing my stomach and said “Hi baba, I don’t think I’ll be a good mother. I’m even having a hard time dealing with my life now. I can’t seem to solve this. I’m not sure if I’ll be a suitable mother for you.”

I looked up at the sky and felt every drop on my face as I said “I’ll just name you baba, okay? I always liked that nickname.” I continue to just repeat the baby’s name over and over, “baba. Baba. Baba.” And continued, “Baba, if you decide to stay with me, I will try my best to be a good mother, but this wasn’t a good time for you to show up. Mama will always love you no matter what you choose baba.”

I sat there for a while, just watching as the crowded playground slowly became deserted, touching my stomach as I just let the rain fill the void that I felt inside. I closed my eyes and let the cold rain consume me whole to get rid of the pain I feel inside.