I couldn't sleep all night. I watched from the darkness as he drove almost motionless and without looking back deep in his own thoughts.

At some point I did fell asleep and awaken by him and the sounds of cheering..

" We're home Lylly.."

He didn't touch me or kissed me..or even waited and left the wagon.

I was alone and heard the people outside talking and greeting Zephyr and Ilianna. It wasn't raining anymore and after a few deep breaths, I went outside with my best attempt on looking composed and happy.

" Sweetheart! How was it? "

" Hmm.. it was good.."

My mother noticed. I couldn't hide..and didn't want too. I needed her advice. She hugged me and Eli joined who were near and saw me. Not to mention..

Looking behind me my family a good ten feet away greeting everyone. In front of me there were eight people and in front of them the rest.

Uff..

I walked off towards my house and those around me followed. I couldn't just stand there and smile ..

Once inside I broke down and then the tears came. I felt hands around me.

" Sis what happened!? Why are crying!?" - Eli sat next to me and I heard the other doing the same.

After we sat down. I told them everything without a thought of hiding anything. Demelza made me some tea and after tasting it..it was laced with whiskey.

" I remembered you telling us how it's not that bad with it..."

" Thank you.."

They waited until I sipped some, it was just the thing to help me, it's warmth spreading in my stomach.

I was expecting some support..but Eli had different to offer.

" Lylly, I understand why you would be angry given your position. But, I also saw you at that meeting. You heard him." - she looked disappointed in me.

" Or did you think he was exempt when told everyone that we signed up for battle?"

" Eli maybe it's not the time.."

[SLAM!]

" Mother?..it is time. Because we barely have any!

I for one can see his plan make sense. It's obvious once that miserable soul.." - she slapped the table and shut even mother up. " Who happened to a brother of his friend is saved. Carlos can drop his charade and we gain an ally for life worth 100s in actual war! "

She was the youngest but, she did stunned everyone how quickly she grasped the overall picture.

As if her words..simple and easy to understand as is..was hidden by my fear. Which was still there but I let her finish.

She sat next to me and took my hands.

" You once told us. You've prepared for a different life and the joy and hardship that will come with it. "

I could've sworn she grown in just two day looking at her eyes.

" He will have to fight!! Just like Lucian or Demelza's husband along with every single one of us, and soon! He already made plans to make you stronger. You will have to fight as well, something I believed you always wanted.."

My mother tears were dropping on the table caressing Eleanor face.

" Sweetheart, you so grown up.."

The tale has been illicitly lifted; should you spot it on Amazon, report the violation.

" Mother, please.."

Demelza stepped closer to gain back the attention in the room.

" You know she is right Lylly.. but all this. It's clearly more to it. Why not just talk to him and let him fully explain himself. At least then, you can keep being mad if you want..like me. "

I listened to her and had raise an eyebrow at the end there.

" I worry of course and mad as hell when he used to act reckless without regard to his family. But his reasoning ..insane as it sounded to me.. was something important enough to risk his own life for.." - her words of someone who gone throw these worries a lot.

" I'm guessing trying to save a trusted friend long lost and suffering family, might just be a good enough reason to risk his own..maybe not for you...but for him."

Demelza looked calm even hearing all this. Her husband has been risking his life for years..it might have been for stupid reasons but, the danger was all the same.

Yet..she looked the opposite of me dignified and composed, and her husband is just a regular person.

Have I truly prepared myself for what's to come?

Or just imagined myself playing house in peace forever?

His presence was large enough, despite all the danger to make me believe none of world can affect my happiness or my dreams for a peaceful life.

I couldn't contemplate anymore because Zephyr walked in with Anna in his arms and the others behind him quickly filling up the house.

" Ladies..sorry to interrupt ..what's going on."

" Lucian come here already.." - Eli pointed right next to her and Lucian followed perfectly trained.

I got up and let him pass me.

I walked closer to Zephyr and our daughter a little afraid to meet his eyes.

I felt lighter by a ton, his cold eyes were gone. He smiled a little and pulled me in close to them. I hugged my family as hard as could.

I wanted those previous feelings to be gone.

He put her down and played with her hair. " Hey, go and ask your uncles to make some of my toast for you. "

" I'll do it son.. " - mother ran over and picked her up turned toward him with a bright smile." I tried some of your toast and I might've improved upon it."

Mother stood in front of him and did a quick jab.

" ..Is that so. I'm gonna try some later Seline and then we will see? Won't we? " - he stared at her until she left with an amused smirk.

I smiled a little as he pulled me upstairs into our room.

He was back to his usual self.

Inside he sat me down to the bed with a serious expression. We sat in silence until..

" ..wanna make out? "

I laughed and it broke the atmosphere, lighted my heart again.

" Sure.."

So we did..so long my lips hurt. Before we got too heated he lifted me up like nothing and placed me on his lap.

" Time out.."

He kissed one more time and gently placed me beside him and walked in front me.

" It's a solid plan love. Just let me explain. "

" Sure..but first. Put some clothes on.. I can't concentrate like that."

I was the one who undressed him but, if we're going to talk instead sex, he needs at least pants.

He pulled it on and I was able look into his eyes now since one of my favourite part of him was now tucked in his pants.

" Carlos been working on it for a while. He needed someone who not under Mai thumbs. So when I turned him down he found one. He can't be under suspicion for this."

He talked and I didn't wanna miss a word or even his body language.

" He had to wait for something that moves that fat king away from the capital which he never leaves...but since he is a "conqueror" he likes to parade in front his troops before battles. " - he started walking back and forth not sparing any details. " Karta is perfect, they will ride out with a sea of their soliders and he will have to lead them. "

He stopped to see my reaction to his words.

" Okay..go on. What comes after? "

He looked surprised but, went to finish.

" Once on the move and most importantly taking his fool of a brother Mai. Carlos will lead his own troops as his 'duty' to serve his lord. " - he knelt in front of me taking my hands "He have the perfect alibi since everyone will see him. Including the King. Once his brother is free he can fully commit himself."

He stopped and waited for my words.

" Well..I assume more details will come the weeks to follow? "

He nodded.

" Why, you didn't tell me!?"

I asked the thing that hurt the most.

He promised me not to keep anything. Well at least nothing that magnitude. He kissed my hand and looked into at me very seriously.

" Lylly..this was all very quick. Our plan were supposed to start in the spring. Karta's march was unexpected plans needed to change. Our few months turned to few weeks in a day. " - he shook his head and a myriad of emotions showed in passing as he spoke. " I fully intended to tell you, well before it happened. Just didn't wanna worry you for something so far away..or fight about it, because.."

He looked almost scared telling me.

" I decided to help him. Even if you fight me, even you angry for it. He looked into my eyes told me his story and asked for help. " - he had a stage fire in his eyes watching my reaction. " He might not look like it, but, he is a proud, proud man..yet he asked for my help to save his brother. So,, I will."

His eyes full of determination. He won't budge. He will save him or die in the attempt.

" You're a good man and an even better friend. I don't like it!!.. " - I stood suddenly startling him.

"..but, I do what I can to change. I will never get used to you risking your life, but you have to fight. I love you for you, I promise, I won't ever try and change that person."

He pick me up and stole my breath holding me strong enough like he wanted to reassure me he won't disappear.

" I don't deserve you.." - he said.

" But, you got me anyway."