[Diary]

24th March, 2015

Sunday (11:00 PM)

Dear Diary,

On Monday after my heartwarming good morning, big sis looked a little surprised hmm I wonder why, after that she asked me how long I have been here and I said, "All night big sis" while smiling and this made her even more surprised and she started thinking. During this, I thought did I do something wrong, did I do something to make big sis hate me but then realized NO! that would never happen because she told me that she would never hate me and will always be my big sis, so yeah there should be no problem but then what is she thinking, is she thinking about going back on her words and she still didn't say anything, i-i-is s-s-s-she tr-trying to go back on her words, is she also going to abandon me, did I for the first time in life placed my trust on wrong person. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHH! NO! NO! I don't want big sis to turn into that kind of person b-b-but what if she did then w-w-w-what should I do.

But thankfully it was all in my head and big sis said," Mayuri, please don't do that from now on if I ever find you doing stuff like this again then I would be very angry OK!?" with a warm smile and I asked, "s-s-so big sis still loves me?" with a little relieved expression and she said, "OF COURSE NOT! didn't I tell you yesterday that I wouldn't hate you no matter what now you have hurt me by saying that" with a playful expression. I started crying immediately and hugged big sis again while saying big sis big sis over and over again. I mean how stupid of me to think all that stuff, I mean I doubted my big sis, I doubted her, doubted HER! but not anymore now I will never again doubt her and even if I do start doubting then as a punishment I would just break one of my fingers, yup that should be enough retribution for doubting someone you trust.

On Tuesday Mr. Jansha came to me and said I would be studying under a tutor for a year and after then when I turn 12 on the march of next year he would put me in the school where big sis goes so then I would be in 7th grade and big sis in 8th grade next year. Just thinking about being with big sis even in school just makes me so tingly.

On Wednesday tutor came and he was an old man named Mr.Janas who had a little hair on top of his head and slightly wrinkled face. He would be responsible for teaching me maths and science and my English tutor would be Mrs.Palak since she graduated from IIT and most of the time stays home.

Mr.Janas teaching was very slow but he would explain things thoroughly so I understood everything he was teaching me. I needed to study hard because I want to be a honors student when I go to school so that big sis would be proud of me and at the same time I would appear as a perfect child in front of Mr. and Mrs. Jansha. I can also talk to them the same I did with big sis but big sis being the only one who knows makes it feel like there are things only we know and nobody else so it makes me feel I am very special to big sis. Another reason for being a honors student is that I would get some leniency in rules department as I would not want them to call Mr. and Mrs. Jansha because even if they are step-parents they treat me nicely so I do not want to trouble them as the reason my mother left as I realize of now is that she was troubled by me so wouldn't that mean if I trouble someone I care about they would run away? At first, I would have thought the same about big sis but there's no way that would happen after she promised me and I promised never to doubt her.

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On Thursday Big sis went to school apparently there was some renovation going on so the school was closed for some time. After she went to school I started missing her and as time went on I started missing her more and more. I want to see her, I want to see her, but but but she would be angry if I did that like she got angry on Monday so I endured it and the moment she came back home I hugged her from behind and didn't let go for 30 minutes after that I stayed with her till tutor came then after studying I again went to her room to play as she should have completed homework by now.

On Friday again the same thing happened, I need to do something about not being able to see her when she goes school as it is getting harder and harder to endure it.

On Saturday again I couldn't think of any idea to see her when she goes to school but thankfully tomorrow is Sunday so I would have her all to myself then, yeah just endure it.

Today big sis and I went to see a movie, I have never seen a movie before so when I told her that she asked me to come with her to watch a movie and hearing that I got all excited because now it would be just two us for a while.

We went to the theater, bought tickets and popcorn and went inside and sat on the chairs and the movie started playing. Ahhhhh now it's just the two of us in the dark as I thought that I started getting more and more tingly and excited. I remembered while reading those love books given by nun in the orphanage the characters would always treat skinship like it's some really big deal so I wanted to know why thought such, so I while watching the movie I rested my hands on top of big sis hands and she got surprised and asked, "M-m-ayri w-w-w-hat are you doing" with a slightly embarrassed face and my heart started pounding frantically, aaaaaaaahh what is this feeling, it feels so good and blissful, no wonder those characters made a big deal out of it but I want more, more, more now that I have experienced the starting line of skinship, I haven't felt this blissful whenever someone from orphanage touched me in fact I never felt anything from it but this, this I want more of this feeling that only big sis can give me so I just smiled at her question and just laid my hands on top of her's till the movie ended.

It was a detective movie where a person chased after a criminal while gathering clues and when he found the criminal he followed him for a while and found his subordinates and arrested them. Seeing this I got an idea can't I do the same thing as that detective and follow big sis but then I rejected it as it would anger big sis b-b-b-but what if I didn't get found out then I could see big sis even when she goes to school. The risk is big but just thinking about all the frustration from not seeing her and the fact that I would be able to see what she does when she's not around me, just thinking that made me feel ecstatic, yeah let's try that definitely.

Mayuri

[Mayuri's POV]

now I better sleep quickly to wake up early and become a detective