Chapter 1

"Hi!" I greeted my coworker, her name is Maggie, and I think that she might... Like really might be my actual friend!

"Hi hon," Maggie paid attention to me the moment that I saw her even though she's working and is probably really annoyed at me she was is so nice, "talk to you later alright?"

Happy smile emoji!

Anyways, I asked all the other parts of me if I should consider Maggie to be my maybe friend because after we got hurt, Mommy told me that we can't ever have a friend again, so I did not ask her!

Nope, I was really brave and asked Daddy!

"Umm dad... " I started to ask him something that's been on my mind for a month! "Can we think of Maggie as our friend?

Dad just shrugged his shoulders and went the other so that means..! "Yeah!"

Well... Apparently I had just switched to Steph and was kinda upset as I glanced at the person I call Todd walking beside me... And I tried to control my demanding attitude by almost asking him calmly a simple question, "Why are you making our baby feel bad?"

"Irui'ga sle' Tche..." Well he just muttered something that I could not even try to understand for the life of me and this is why I hate him..!

Basically, I know for certainty that he can speak regular English, I mean... Not just that but he keeps secrets from me. He knows how to push my buttons and switch on command.

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I wish I hated him...

Sigh...

Anyways, the way people talk about him make me think he's some kind of gentleman!

Which he used to be... I mean, we were married... I know we were, I have a tattoo under each of my ring fingers, I remember how he used to be so nice and everyone loved him. Like how he would look me and smile, how he sometimes blew in the window and drew a heart locket and I felt like he was always telling me, "This is you too."

Oh! We used to dance in the rain and warm up under a blanket and everything was absolutely perfect until 3 years later when I wake up and nothing was perfect.

No... It wasn't even okay.

Our friends were gone, our sister was mad at us for some reason, our Mom had a stroke, our Dad was gone and whenever we looked at a photograph of him it was as if our whole being was shaking. And all I know from the time I was gone is that Dad was not getting better and for some reason I really scared that he would die alone...

I was absolutely scared to leave his side that's all that I know.

Basically, the reason why I'm mad at Todd is because he knows. Like, we write in a journal every day, to prove that this and the previous day did in fact happen, because like proof is important to us. Anyways... I'm 100% sure that the reason we can't find the diaries from the time that Dad got sick until a few years ago are because Todd doesn't write in our diary.

No, he looks around and says things like, "I'll remember."

And well... I am well aware that, "He'll" remember. But the thing is... I won't remember.

(Steph, you told me you didn't want to remember.)

Anyways.

I think that it's all because no matter how many times we all convince each other that it's the safest and smartest thing for me to forget that I'm a system of 4, That it would be best for everyone to convince ourselves that we are just a quirky system of one....

We'll always be us until we all process and accept the world in and around us and be happy with it, unlike last time we fused...

Where we found out that everyone loves Todd except us.

Anyways!