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Chapter 7: Carolling

Days began to pass quickly, and my daily routine kept me busy and fulfilled. I left my programs running while I slept, when I woke up I ate breakfast, took a quick shower, and then walked to the local library.

Walking allowed me to gain some more stat points either by jaywalking or “trespassing on private property” by cutting corners. Also when I start putting points in physical stats it would provide a good opportunity to get used to the new power.

I wasn’t keen to repeat the migraine I got from dumping my stat points into Int. Vomiting to the point of dry heaving while someone took an icepick to my temples is not my idea of a fun time.

Once at the library, I made use of the computers and books there to dove into my research. Because of my interest in knowing everything I had a tentative grasp on essentially every subject and as I had been preparing for my alignment.

I had an even better grasp of what it could entail, but if I needed more detail about The System, my alignment, and alignments in general. My alignment was too rare and the records were very limited mostly just horror stories in the kids section.

Social media was a great source of information on how or what determined the direction of public opinion. Not to mention the many strange and interesting ways people committed crimes, most of them were just stupid but it did show a more creative side of crime.

After a couple of hours of aggressive note-taking and plotting I would make my way to the park to eat my packed lunch or buy a meal from one of the nearby restaurants downtown. Usually, my choice was the park, I wanted to enjoy the relative warmth of autumn before winter hit.

Lunch and Vitamin D consumed, I would begin experimenting with crimes and the limits of Open Rebellion. I preferred to do it after my research because although I had come up with several theories to be proven or disproven I found that my new points in my Int made epiphanies much more common and absorbing information easier.

After my experiments, I would make records of everything in my data sheets. Granted my memory at this point was practically photographic, but I liked having a physical representation of the work I had done. Plus although I could remember everything it wasn’t necessarily easy so having it in such an organized form made things simpler.

Work done for the day I would play with Harold and whatever he dragged with him until his owners came home so far he had fetched a trowel, a whole roll of toilet paper, a boot, and strangest of all the headlight to a car. Then it would be time for time to relax, read some watch a new show, and then get ready for bed. And then it would start all over again.

It was peaceful and fulfilling despite the perceived monotony of it all I was discovering new things every day and getting smarter with every added stat point.

On Monday I discovered a database specifically containing academic papers about alignments. There were a couple of articles of interest including one detailing the expected ratio for each alignment and how long people typically waited before settling on an alignment surprisingly it was 1 and a half years: longer than I had anticipated.

Thursday the librarian had begun to warm up to me, the cookies from the bakeries across the street that I shared every couple of days speeding it up. With the newfound “friendship” I didn’t have to spend time hunting down the books I wanted, a stack of books always sat on the desk I had unofficially claimed as mine.

I brought a bag of bird seed to the park on Friday, tossing handfuls generously and spontaneously across the park's entirety. The birds were hesitant at first but soon hundreds were swooping down to get their fair share of the snack. I didn’t mind them and found some amusement at the scuffles that occurred, but my goal was different than that: the glowing blow screen reading.

If you spot this narrative on Amazon, know that it has been stolen. Report the violation.

[Open Rebellion has been used for the crime “Littering” 0.07 points have been added to your free stat points]

According to the law, it didn’t matter how biodegradable the items were that were left behind: anything can fall under the purview of littering. It was unlikely that someone would sue you for feeding birds, but technically a case could be made.

On my day of rest, Sunday, I decided to skip the library and just plo- I mean relax at home. Considering my recent schedule it wouldn’t hurt to dedicate a day to making bigger plans, my planning sessions at the library primarily centered around quick easily repeatable actions.

Just as I sat down at my desk to start rummaging through a couple of thicker books I had borrowed I heard a knock at my door. Despite me leaving in a well-populated suburban area I did not get company often and most neighbors tended to mind their own business, so guests were not a common occurrence. So I decided to ignore it, if it was life-threatening they’d start yelling, if they didn’t then it wasn’t important.

No screams came from my dead-bolted door, but the knocking began to come at louder volumes and a higher frequency. In short, they were trying to get on my nerves. As tempted as I was to simply put on my noise-canceling headphones I looked at the clock and realized it was 5 AM. Once I realized the time my curiosity got the better of me, who was shameless enough to go to someone's house this early morning and try to pound their door down?

Going to my door I lifted the cover on my peephole. It was the Cranially Abusive Rabid Opposum Lady or as she was better known as Carol. She was a member of our HOA or so she said. The existence of our HOA had never actually been approved, by any of the neighbors. That fact didn’t stop her from trying to enforce the by-laws she came up with “for the good of the community”.

She had never tried to turn her foam-dipped fangs towards me and morally guilt trip me into following her laws, but I had comforted past victims so I knew what to expect. That’s why I opened the door, it was my day “off” and I could use some entertainment.

In the time I had stood there contemplating the horrors I was about to be subjected to the pounding had never ceased, in fact, somehow the full-force banging was becoming louder.

Slowly I eased off the deadbolt and twisted the lock, it was unlikely that she could hear me over her sledgehammering, but better safe than sorry. Door unlocked I grabbed the door and yanked it open.

CAROL landed on the floor: face first. Her arms hadn’t moved fast enough to catch her. Amusing indeed. What surprised me is how quickly she bounced back to her feet and acted like nothing happened.

“You really should get a doorbell, I’ve been knocking for a full five minutes. What it was an emergency? It isn’t safe, I’ll have to bring it up at the next safety meeting.” The confidence although admirable was comical with the redness of her face and sweat dripping from the work she had put into denting my door.

“No need, I heard you.” I tried to keep my voice level not wanting my amusement to creep in.

She spluttered her way through a couple of “well I never’s” and “kid’s these days” as well as a “no respect”.

Finally, she seemed to settle herself smoothed down her blouse and stated with as much decorum as she was likely to muster, “If you heard someone knocking you should have answered the door, it’s very rude not to. All I wanted to do is speak with you about how best to contribute to our lovely community here.”

“My apologies, I thought with all that banging going on this early in the morning only someone with an unsavory character could be at my door.”

I was quite shocked when CAROL didn’t resume her word stumbling and her face just got redder and redder.

“For your information, I am not an unsavory character, I am a member of the HOA and I came here to give you two things.” Saying so she shoved a bright red slip of paper and a green sheet of paper that appeared to be a poster of some kind. Then huffing she stormed down the driveway.

What a pity, I was just starting to have fun: from what I was told these scoldings on average last much longer.

Closing and relocking my door I read the two pieces of paper. The red was a citation for my grass being a centimeter over the HOA limit, I was surprised it wasn’t for my prolific jaywalking. The second was a trash pick-up day which involved walking the neighborhood to pick up litter.

As I was about to toss both papers in the trash a thought struck me a plan that would both allow me to commit a crime but be heralded as a do-gooder. Attaching the date on the flier to my calendar I headed back to my desk.