11. Silent Suicide

(Ballad)

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> For in that sleep of death, what dreams may come.

>

> —William Shakespeare,

> Hamlet, Act 3: Scene 1

The die is cast; the family unit

   Is broken into splinters.

The only pillars of my strength

Now drift apart along the length

   Of clenching ruthless fingers.

The unbreakable vow is shattered

   And all my strength goes with it;

The only thing awaiting me

(When everywhere I look to see)

   Is death and screams within it.

This world I see is dead to me,

   Burnt to a smokeless ember;

For no more love and only hate

Shall be the ending of my fate,

   Which no one shall remember.

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So in my darkest hours of silence,

   When everyone is dead,

I scratch my name from off the page

Of destiny within my rage

   Of solitary dread.

No fate shall follow at my heels

   And keep me company,

Because my world is my inferno,

In which my sufferings will earn no

   Reprieve or set me free.

In silent brooding on my fate,

   I'll take myself away

T' extinguish out the burning fires,

Compelling me in my desires

   To end my life this day.

No longer shall I breathe the air

   Of living happiness,

So long as hatred still exists,

So long as foul contempt persists,

   So long as there's distress.

The air I breathe is rank with hate,

   With anger, fear, regret,

From which I cannot seem to 'scape,

Except within a dreaming landscape

   Free of the looming threat.

And so in silence shall I sleep

   And never rise again;

I'll sleep the endless sleep of death

When the long sigh of my last breath

   Will cut my silver chain.

In outer darkness shall I wander

   In endless dreams tonight,

When all my soul is free from pain;

The only thing that will remain

   Is seeking out that light.

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