“Is that the capital?” Furuya pointed far into the distance.
Kichirou sat up and took in the view of the city that drew ever closer.
“Indeed, the impregnable fortress city Eisene. It is rare for those who see it for the first time not to marvel at the sight of it. Those walls have protected humanity in this region for years beyond remembrance.”
“Protected humanity?”
“Look around you, these lands breathe life onto the earth. All types of lifeforms seek such a place to call their home, and thus, blood flowed as much as life in these parts. It was after generations that the battle-hardened men of Reinocha were finally able to claim these plains for their own.”
Would we really be safe?
Looking at those massive walls alone, it would be impossible for those raiders to simply stroll in and do whatever they wish. But they are not the only thing to watch out for, those very walls could quickly turn from shelter to prison if broken through.
“You there, stop where you are!” one of the guards stationed at the city entrance called out as the carriage neared the gatehouse that watched over the drawbridge.
“What's going on?”
“It's just standard procedure for anyone to enter the capital, don't worry,” said Zakin.
These posted soldiers were a far cry from the “guards” they had met in Mercini. From just a glance it was easy to tell the difference between the quality of their equipment. It's like those from Mercini were simply children playing pretend next to their adult counterparts.
“Please state your name and purpose.”
“Of course,” Zakin replied as he pulled out a coin that shone in the moonlight.
Visible confusion ran across the soldier's face as he stared at the coin.
“I need your name and purpose to enter. A simple bribe won't get you into my city.”
“You imbecile!” The second guard grabbed the first by the helm and made him bow.
“What did I do?” the guard asked, with frustration clear in his voice.
“Don't you see that coin boy? I do apologize, youngsters these days don't know a damned thing. He meant no disrespect.”
“It's quite alright, we were all at that age once. Now if you don't mind, we’ll be on our way.”
“Would you like me to take care of the stable situation for you sir?”
“No, it's quite alright.”
Both guards bowed as the carriage rode past the gatehouse.
“What was that about?” asked Furuya.
“Nothing really. Anyhow, we’re going to stay at an inn tonight.”
“You have another inn here as well?”
“Oh no, my store here is still barebones, and it's meant to be a shop, not an inn.”
Many more guards were stationed at the entrance, but once again they bowed and cleared the way once Zakin pulled out that coin.
The streets of Mercini were considered bustling with life even at night, but this city’s streets would top even that with people flooding the merchants that were on seemingly every corner.
All those happy faces, brimming with hope. It's all the same no matter where he goes.
Happiness that relies on others is weak and brittle, when they're gone you fall even lower than before. True and lasting happiness needs to come from within. But then what of those with only broken pieces inside?
Nothing but mind-numbing darkness.
“Shiro you okay?”
“Hmm?” Kichirou replied, as he looked at Furuya.
“You had that look on your face.”
He raised a hand to his face: “Did I?”
“Yea you did.”
“It's nothing, don’t worry about it.”
“It never is nothing now is it?”
“I suppose you're right.”
Every man dies, but not every man truly lives.
What does it mean to be alive? It depends on who you ask. Some might find it in drugs, some in the endless pursuit of their dreams, and others might find it in another person. Whatever it may be, once they’ve tasted it, it's impossible to let go.
A man is ignorant of his own death, until he has lived.
“And there you go, doing it again.”
The ice cold expression, the only one that seeps through his otherwise unmoving face.
“Not like I can help it,” Kichirou shrugged.
“It’s gonna haunt you forever if you let it. Either forget it or face it, no matter how well you think you're holding on right now, eventually it will consume you completely.”
Has it not already?
“You too huh?”
“Would I even be considered your friend if not?”
But does it help though…
If it was so painless, it would have been done and dusted back then. The pain that was dragged on is for him and him alone, to suffer with it trapped in his cranium for eternity.
“At the end of the day the choice is yours Shiro, but don't think your friends aren’t hurting seeing you like that. We’re hurt too, all of us.”
Unauthorized content usage: if you discover this narrative on Amazon, report the violation.
“You guys all worry too much, I’m fine.”
Not everything is about you. That’s right.
“We’re here, everyone get off and wait inside as I bring the carriage to the stable.”
Kichirou jumped off, closed his eyes, and walked down the street.
“Hey, Shiro, where you going?” someone called out, but Kichirou barely heard it as he drifted away.
“Just let him be, let's go inside.”
He stopped and sat beneath a tree right on the side of the street before closing his eyes once more.
It was so peaceful—aside from the noise of an occasional horse or carriage. It was just like that vacation Kichirou and his friends had took to Italy's countryside long ago. The beautiful night sky, the cool summer breeze, life couldn't have been more perfect.
Almost perfect.
“And you’re out here crying by yourself.”
Kichirou opened his eyes with annoyance: “Karin, what are you talking about?”
“You wanna wipe your eyes before saying that?”
“Leave me alone.”
“What if I don't want to?”
Just what is she up to now? Whatever...
“Suit yourself.”
Kichirou closed his eyes, and saw nothing but the reality of death.
Do we really suffer more in our imagination? The only nightmare we face is the reality when we wake from our dreams.
That's the cruel world we live in. The woman that saved them with an act of kindness had paid with her life. There is no justice in this world—no God. The best part of it all was that there was not a single thing anyone could do about it.
The world is wrong and we can't change it.
Ryuta…
Kichirou chuckled to himself softly.
I actually thought that I could save you… bring you back to life, how laughable. A worthless man like me could never do it.
That's right...
His thoughts were spiraling, only to be interrupted by a head suddenly leaning against his shoulder.
“Ack! What are you doing!?”
“Fufu, nothing. Let’s go inside already. Zakin should be back by now, dinner’s probably waiting for us.”
Supper was par for the course, nothing to register to memory, just sustenance to help prolong their existence. Everyone talked, laughed, ate, and tried to act like everything was all okay. But it mattered not how they all tried to hide it, sadness lingered behind every mask.
In darkness there's light and in light there's darkness, as all things in the world are in perpetual balance. But if that was truly the case then where was the light that should have existed in this pitch darkness? Has he simply gone blind wandering in this endless void?
Liquid courage and euphoric intoxicants were offered in abundance, and they were consumed to the fullest, even Aoi who rarely touches a drop had indulged herself to the point of becoming a tosspot.
As dinner came to an end, Zakin offered the group the same nightly room arrangements as before. It was accepted and everyone retired to their respective rooms for the night.
The room itself was far more luxurious than what Zakin’s inn had provided, the beds themselves were much larger, and the sheets were made to be of much higher quality. There wasn’t a need to argue about sleeping by the window side either, as both beds had a window behind them.
Kichirou laid down without a word.
What the hell was Karin up to? There's no chance in hell she's actually fancying me right? No, of course not, what reasons would she have? I’m not good-looking, I’m not dependable, I'm not fit, and to top it all off I have no plans for the future. A mistake… nothing less, nothing more…
I must have imagined it, yep that's right, I must have.
“So where did you go with Karin that night?”
“Huh?”
“Fine, you don't have to tell me.”
“What? I think we went out for some drinks, I just don't remember what happened.”
“Hmph, you were gone all night, drunk, alone with Karin. You sure you didn't take advantage of her?”
What the hell? What’s gotten into her?
“What do you take me for…”
“Sure, and today you guys disappear again on your own.”
“We sat and chatted for a while, what's it matter to you anyways?”
…
“You two are going out aren't you!?!”
Why is she getting so worked up for? Why does she even care? Even if I was seeing her, what's the big deal anyways?
“No?”
The look on her face was a familiar one, one that he had seen far too many times for his own good. She was angry and not buying a word he was saying.
“Fine, if you say so.”
What the? I'll be hearing about this for a week or two... Wait a second, who gives a fuck anymore.
Holding back words from the heart has never done him any good anyhow. All that left was pent-up frustration and anger that had nowhere else to go.
“Why do you even care about who I’m seeing? You’re the one who, the one who...” Kichirou stopped as he practically choked on his words.
“Say it.”
… Abandoned…
“JUST SAY IT!” Miku beckoned.
You left me by the wayside…
“Fine then, I’ll say it, I’m the one that broke your heart. But...”
Kichirou could feel an earthquake of the highest magnitude rampaging through his body, his heart shook with such violence it could have stopped at any moment. And tsunamis follow earthquakes like night follows day.
“But.. but what? What the fuck is there to say anymore…”
“I never got to tell you that I’m sorry.”
“You are sorry? YOU!? Are sorry!? Hahahahahahahahahahahahahaaahahahahahahahah… what good does that do now?”
“I don't expect it to do anything, I just… wanted you to know…”
“What is there to know?”
“It was for the best Kichirou, it was the best for the both of us…”
“HOW!? How could that have been for the best? I loved you… I needed you… How was I supposed to live without you?”
“Shiro, you had your entire life ahead of you, everything was lined up perfectly. I wasn't just gonna let you throw it all away for me. I had my own dreams to follow, Shiro. It just wasn’t meant to be. I’m sorry.”
All Kichirou could see was her reddened face stained with tears, as she came closer with her arms out for a hug.
“Sa, stay away from me.” Kichirou got up and bolted for the door.
“Shiro please wait, I’m sorry…”
He shuttered uncontrollably as he leaned against the closed door. If anyone had seen him in such a state they would have most certainly questioned not only his manhood but his sanity as well.
As if I’d ever hear those words.
“Hahahahahahaaahaa ahahahaha.”
If only you had the courage.
He gritted his teeth as he held a kitchen knife. It would be over in an instant, this nightmare.
Huff, huff, huff.
Everyones gone… Father… Mother…
It will be fast and painless.
The blade touched his skin, but it wouldn’t go any further. His hands had frozen in place.
I want to die, but then why can't you move…
The knife dropped to the floor, as did he.
I don't understand, I don't get it… Why, why I am clinging onto life like a parasite…? Tell me why…
A coward, too afraid to live and too afraid to die...
Kichirou pulled his shirt up, covering his disgraceful look, and like clockwork someone had peaked out from their room.
“Shiro? Is that you dude? Are you alright?”
It was only Calbi.
“Yea, I'm fine,” He could barely make out those words.
“Are you sure man? You don't sound fine…”
“Yea I’m sure.”
“It's been a hard couple of days for everyone. If you need someone to talk to, I’m all ears.”
I just wanna be alone… If only it was that easy.
Kichirou pulled his shirt back down from his face, and there he was, sitting on the floor right next to him. To his surprise it wasn't Calbi, but Furuya instead.
“Wanna grab another drink? You look like you could use a few more.”
“Haah, you’re not wrong about that, let's go.”
The main bar area was almost deserted—to be expected at this hour. There was just one lone man that sat with a glass in hand.
The events of the last two days seemed to have aged them all drastically, though Zakin certainly looked worse for wear compared to the rest of them.
“Zakin, what are you still doing up? Shouldn't you be resting after manning the carriage all day?”
“Shouldn’t you two be resting as well?”
“With a troubled mind, rest is hard to follow.”
“Where's the barkeep? We could use some drinks ourselves.”
“Grab a glass and pour anything you wish.”
“Alright then, Shiro?”
“Does it look like I even care?’
“Fair enough. Zakin, what's the strongest stuff on this shelf here?”
“That red bottle on the top right. Unless you two can really handle your liquor, I'd suggest just one glass each.”
“That sounds like two for you Shiro.”
“Sounds about right.”
“Don’t say I didn’t warn ya.”
Furuya poured the red liquid into three wine glasses. Much like blood, it filled each glass with a crimson glare.
This wasn't your typical liquor, that was for certain. From the smell alone it was hard to judge the proof, in fact, it didn't even have an odor. If he closed his eyes it would be indistinguishable from water.
Kichirou took both glasses in one hand and gulped them down in one go.
The taste was nothing to write home about either, it tasted almost metallic with a small bitter finish, providing a burning sensation all the way down the sinkhole.
It was only Zakin and Furuya here, now was as good of a time as any. He couldn't afford to dodge the subject anymore for everyone's sake.
“Zakin, I need to ask you a question. What’s your connection to the Debouf family?”
“That… isn't something you need to know.”
Zakin swirled the brown liquor in his glass before taking a sip.
“Shiro, what are you doing?” Furuya interjected.
“I’m sure you have your reasons, but they sent people to kidnap Schnee and to dispose of me in broad daylight. I need to know what’s going on here.”
“Wait, what?” Zakin turned as if to check the solidity of what Kichirou had just said. Even Furuya’s eyes went wide.
“I see… I am sorry that you were caught up in that, however some stones are better left unturned for your own safety.”
“I don't think you heard me correctly, I almost died already because I was with Schnee, I think I deserve to know at this point.”
The troubled look grew like the wrinkles that formed on his face: “I truly am sorry for what happened, but there are certain things I cannot tell you.”
Zakin turned back around, seemingly unable to look Kichirou in the eyes. Disdain was written all over Kichirou’s face as he had one eyebrow raised.
What?!
How could he still not tell Kichirou the reason behind his near demise, even after he saved the man’s daughter?
“I understand that it's difficult to hear, but it's a private family matter.”
The man had been more than courteous uptill now, providing them with everything they needed for the time being. But even so, this wasn’t a laughing matter that could just be brushed aside like this. For all they know Kichirou and his friends could already be associated with the Lepard family enough to earn themselves a spot on those assassin's hit list.
There are lives at stake here!
“Zakin, I… I… I,” The world spun before he could finish his words as the floor suddenly came close to his face.